/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I don't really enjoy my gf's brass. In fact I avoid giving her food that will encourage brass. They're gross.

>>16501454
>St. Ragusea
He is no saint and deserves an inglorious end. He furthers no holy cause and is not worthy a martyr's death.

>>16501454
Sometimes I dip crackers in water. I swear they taste better...

>>16501476
I thought it meant street, because even chickens are willing to cross him!

>>16501454
I prep my wife(male) not the bull.

>>16501485
I like you. :)

>>16501454
I eat too much fucking watermellon and it makes me piss out my ass but I wont quit

I've been exclusively making asian food because fucking gooks wanna charge me $10 for bibimbap that I can make at home

>>16501567
this thread is for food sins, not acts of culinary holiness.

>>16501910
I just thought you guys would call me a weeb or something

>>16502084
weeb

I enjoy vegan food for fun

>>16501454
I loooove soy milk yum

>>16501454
To make nachos I use Doritos Cheese Supreme chips, I put them in a bowl, I pour over them pic related until I cant see them anymore, top with mozarella cheese and microwave for 4 minutes until the cheese melts. It's the only version of nachos I know or have eaten.

i dip my toast in the bacon grease.

Sometimes when a recipe specifies virgin olive oil, I use extra virgin olive oil instead.

>>16502471
I take my olive oil’s virginity by cumming in it

Recently i fucked up my sunny eggs to the point it almost became inedible

I ate a 40 cm pizza with thick crust and extra mozzarella by myself and I never felt like a bigger fat fuck

I fucking love dipping frikadeller in sour cream.

>>16501454
I don't know how to make a sauce and eat my pasta by throwing a can of beans and fish/spam over it.

i used to put cheese on rice and microwave it.

this was me

I like the fake sawdust parmesan cheese

>>16501454
I put soy sauce in my marinara

>>16501454
i bought into the sichuan meme and bought a small bag of sichuan pepper corns before realizing i dont like tofu and i cant find spicy cillies in my area to make anything worth making with the peppercorns

>>16501454
I ate ice cream for breakfast today.

>>16504444
you must run 2km and shout 10 hail Mary's

>>16501493
I had the same with apple juice. Drank ca. 3l a day at my peak. It made me absolutely spout water out my ass with force but I still continued to drink it

bite

>>16505407
... chew... and SPIT.

simple as

>>16505217
>3L of Juice per day
>The episode where anon drink 1500 calories per day

>>16501493
>but I wont quit

>>16501454
I just ate 20 chicken tendies and drank a diet coke. I would eat more if I had more. Now I am going to take my meds and put on my cpap mask and pass out as my insulin spikes.

>>16503439
hvad er der godt ved det?

>>16501567
They sell it near me for 6,50 is that worth it?

I unironically eat these

>>16501454
I don't sort or remove the fragments before I soak beans

>>16501454
Pizza is my weakness, I can't stop myself and I end up devouring an entire XL pizza in less than 15 minutes

>>16506216
based d.p. dough poster

Every night before bed I lie in my bed and drink a protein drink and fart endlessly and the fan at the end of my bed crop dusts me and I enjoy it immensely.

I dont eat vegetables. Not because I don't like them but because I'm too lazy and incompetent to cook them (or anything) well.

Every Thursday for my dinner I'll eat a large bowl of plain noodles (microwaved, see lazy comment) with nothing else. No sauce, no sides, no meat etc. Just noodles. That's actually one of my tastier weekly dinners.

>>16505217
Jesus fuck your poor pancreas

>>16506453
Chad energy.

I hate blue cheese.

>>16507228
...anon I..

>>16507228
good. it has mold

>>16502395
I'm so sorry someone made you feel like that was an acceptable mode of living.

I love pepperoni sticks and I’ll buy the hottest spiciest ones I can find, and dip them in sour cream for each bite. It helps with the burning on the way down, but I always eat way too much and shit fire for hours later. It’s awful and I know it’s going to happen, but I never learn.

>>16501454
only my front 4 teeth make contact so I can't eat steak or most vegetables. also I find mayo and avocado absolutely disgusting

>>16501454
I always simplify recipes, cut corners and skip steps to the point where everything I make turns to sloppa that always tastes the same

>>16506202
No, anon
It's worth $4 max

six out of my last eight meals have been crisp sammies. I can't keep lifting if I eat like this...

>>16502084
Being a weeb isn't a sin, just a sickness
Weeb

>>16506216
Very interesting to say the lease

I like ordering fried pickles from my local Sheetz, taking them home and putting them in a blender with half a bottle of ranch, then eating the whole thing like a cursed ranch-fried-pickle slop stew. I'm not even fat but I am a tiny little twink boy so it's not much better for my body really.

I made creme fraiche a couple days ago but don't actually have an idea of what to eat it with. Good chance it will completely go to wate.

I bought a bag of 5 onions and don't know how to store them so 3 spoiled.

>>16502437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u6hN41_n_Q

In that vein I add bacon grease to my grits.

>>16501471
What's brass?

>>16501454
I put my Joe Sloppy in a cup and drink it

>>16506971
post pics of todays dinner

>>16509607
just in the fridge mate, and a bit dry if possible

>>16501454
I buy Hello Fresh because I hate shopping and I don't like thinking up recipes.

>>16501454
I continuously consoom high-sugar SHIT like candy and soda despite my teeth literally rotting and falling out

bumpity

>>16511816
sorry anon this is actually the worst food sin you can do. There is no saving your soul, you will spend the rest of your days listening to adam ragusea ad reads while you fuck his buck toothed wife.

>>16506971
Depression is a curable disease anon

I ate the whole pizza

>>16504437
Make Dan-Dan-noodles. Only thing that's hard to get there is ya cai which you can probably sub or maybe even leave out (even though it does play an important role). I can vouch for the chinese cooking demystified recipe.
Fish fragrant Aubergines is also a great recipe using them. There's a lot of non tofu recipes that don't need too weird ingredients.

>>16501454
I just ate beef yakisoba leftovers with a half can of heinz beans that sat on the fridge for 4 days open.

>>16512499
It's either that or spending 300/wk on DoorDash.

>>16501454
>never pour off the grease from ground meat when browning it
>buy one of those mini cheese wheel things that come in a small box filled with garlic and herbs and eat it with a spoon
>scrape and discard icing off of cake (unless it's cream cheese icing)
>scramble my eggs in the pan
>use oil when cooking eggs in a non-stick pan
>wrap my romain in a dish cloth and wave it around like a retard to dry it

>>16501454
I've stopped buying fresh veggies because they spoil before I can cook anything with them.

I grocery shop while hungry.

I made a delicious beef stew. Then I got drunk by myself and ordered a pizza. Then I passed out and for breakfast I bought McDonalds. Then I was too lazy to put my delicious stew into the fridge cause I was hungover. There is a major heatwave so my stew went bad sitting on a stove top. I had to dump it.
Why am I like this?

>>16501454
there is this taco stand in my city, their tacos go great with ketchup and french fries

I close my eyes and pretending i'm eating this feast instead of a double cheeseburger

I eat bugs

I'm really shit at flipping omelets, so half the time I'll just cover the pan with a lid, or put in the oven and make it a frittata.

>>16507228
that's not very whoopdie of u anon

>>16509565
what the fuck

>>16507228
kek fuck you anon you woke my chicken

>>16501490
Go back, you fucking fag.

>>16513345
>cover the pan with a lid,
Never thought of this man....Now is my time!

I ate my cum once and regretted it

>>16512642
>wrap my romain in a dish cloth and wave it around like a retard to dry it
In a cooking group I was in someone there admitted to putting their lettuce in a little mesh cloth bag and tossing it in the dryer for a minute or two to dry it off. The ended up leaving the group in shame.

scrape mold off the rim of pesto or pasta sauce jar, spoon out the stuff that still 'looks good' and eat it as soon as i could.

oh yeah and and i scrape off the top of the tp layer of the sauce. should i be alright?

oh yeah all my garlic has green sprouts shooting from it.

>>16512610
you could to 150wk on doordash
and bean and rice burritos for the other half of your meals ... lots of salsas!
\

>>16513382
Hoarder anon?

>>16506971
Just get a bag of frozen mixed vegetables and chuck some in the microwave every day

>>16514401
HelloFresh still beats that even when I'm cooking for the whole week and I cook the actual dishes myself.

I don't need some nigger spitting in my food.

>>16507573
The guilt is real
God help us

>>16512685
I fucking hate you

>>16501454
I ate so much sugar that I managed to develop peripheral neuropathy without actually having diabetes. Top that, nerds.

>>16510187
today i ate some hotdog sausages from a jar. Tomorrow I'll have cornflakes

>>16512531
no point anymore. Maybe if I was still young.

>>16514757
>Just get a bag of frozen mixed vegetables and chuck some in the microwave every day
I did try boiling some frozen veg a few years back but it came out tasting like sewage and texture was too soft Guess I could try microwaving them.

>>16511816
how are they? any good or just average,?

>>16509951
bad (really) gas

ALL of my food comes out really really great. I know this for a FACT. I will never ever put any effort into learning the proper way to do things in the kitchen. It would probably save me MONTHS of time on my fucking existence, and I still just won't fucking do it lmao. Skills fundamentals of flavor I DONT CARE.

>>16515100
They're pretty average. Did it for two weeks when I had a decent discount code and was in a cooking slump. The dishes were easy enough to make and decently edible, but goddamn paying that much for groceries was insulting. I still use a couple of the recipes, just added a couple tweaks here and there.
Long story short, it's worth a try if you have a discount code but I'd hesitate to make a habit out of it.

>>16515005
I fucking hate myself

>>16501454
I like cold chicken breast with mayo.
I just put it on a fork, put some mayo on, take a bite, repeat. Don't have to waste a plate too.

I use Korean rice wine in Chinese food, and Chinese fermented bean paste in Korean food

>>16515446
That's not a sin, it's a low carb chicken sandwich.
Breast gets dry, it needs the fats. >>16509607
They sort dry and out of sunlight.
In the sun they just try to grow, in the fridge they absorb water and get mouldy.
Use a cloth bag or basket

>>16515452
You Die Soon

>>16515467
I just can't deal with the lack of hard spices in Korean.
All the piquant spice is great but there are only so many piquants you can mix before I'm craving something on rounded like cumin or pungent like turmeric.

>>16505460
>>16507013
I eventually quit cold turkey but that shit is so cash. I didn't really gain weight or get diabeetus. I still wouldn't recommend it though. Fuck Aldi and their cheap apple juice in handy 6x1,5l boxes. Sometimes I drank half a carton a day and I just knew when the shitpiss would start by experience so I walked to the bathroom before even feeling the urge to shit. Idk what is so laxative about it but it was. Like a spout of shit water, there wasn't even shit in it after a couple of bathroom visits, just water. Like the AJ would trick my body to literally piss from my ass. Even though I still had to piss from my dick too, sometimes at the same time. Weirdest feeling ever.

My brother used to mix juice and milk, then drink it.

I once walked in on him eating a stick of butter in the kitchen. He spun around to see me watching him in horror, got a fright, then tried to play it off like it was normal.

I used to take cooking apples off the tree before they were ready, and I'd eat so many that I'd be sick.

I like kiwifruit with the skin on. But ONLY when they're still hard and very sour. If you can still feel your tongue after the third kiwifruit, it's too ripe.

>>16501454
This is my first time in confession so the list is long

>I purposely cook foods that give me epic poops

>I am addicted to prailine pecans from Costco

>My homemade jumbalaya uses a store bought sauce

>I tell people I’m an expert smoker but can’t smoke duck

>I don’t use charcoal bbqs because I have trouble using too much lighter fluid l

>I think cast iron skillets are a meme

>I can bake but don’t tell people and don’t encourage baking since it’s unhealthy, I only bake for my wife and kids

>I once tasted my own poop to see how bad it was

>I think ribs are overrated but don’t wanna speak up since everyone else loves them apparently

>I tell people I hate fast food but sometimes I sneak a spicy chicken sandwich in from Arby’s Popeyes CFA Or Wendy’s

>When I worked at big boy we served people week old soup

>When I worked at big boy and people ordered breakfast at night we’d just microwave the breakfast from the morning after scooping it out of a grease filled stainless steel container

>I like using shitty knives because I like a challenge

>>16501454
I mix my meat and sauce with my spaghetti or shells

>>16501454
>new job
>wagie (no cage) ina grocery store
>just soul crushing enough to keep me aware of all the amazing lunch dishes i COULD have prepared for myself and too physically exhausting for me to actually prepare food after work
My food sin is i had to opt out for eother the most processed dogshit food i had to buy in house for waaay to much money or running over to the next Burger Town to grab lunch and hurry back. Gonna change things fast once i get my next off work day

>>16502395
What the fuck...

>>16517641
? what do you mean

>>16501482

Sometimes i dip my ritz in milk, maybe I’ll try water next time

>>16517611

How old were you when you tasted your own poop? Was life the same after it? I imagine you have an impulse for it every time you poop now

>>16501454
I eat roast dinners with ketchup

I love these burritos, and even more so that theres an inch of tortilla around an ounce of filling. Sometimes I'll microwave a whole pack of them together, a whole jar of Chile, shredded cheese, and make a pound of oven-baked wet burritos

>>16518514
>eating a pound of microwavable burritos

>>16507228
>I hate flavor

>>16507464
That’s the bullshit you do to escape the simulation

>>16515107
My wife usually goes to bed before me and I snooze on the couch until it’s cool enough to get into bed. Last night I woke up on the couch, realized I was actually cold from the fans going so I got into bed. My weight caused her to shift and unleash a wind most foul. Like so foul I had to leave. Back to the couch. Couple hours later I woke up, went back to bed.
Bitch did it again.
I actually got angry. Like gonna get a divorce angry. So I went and took my shower and when I came back to the bedroom she was answering some random phone call. She looks over at me.
“Did you sleep okay?”

>>16501454
I made carbonara a few weeks ago using bacon bits. Also, the egg didn't cook completely, so it was very soupy. It was embarrassing, but I was by myself and hungry, so I ate it all and drank the egg dregs, after. Forgiveness, please.

>>16502502
>he doesn't use his wife's bull's cum

i autistically eat the same exact food every day for years at time

>>16505434
this is an eating disorder anon

>>16501567
If that's enough to set you off, wait until you find out how high of a markup pizza has. And almost everyone eats pizza.

>>16501454
I'll shamelessly boil a bunch of spaghetti and smother it in a little oil and a bunch of cheddar cheese whenever I have a hard day at work.

I've become increasingly pretentious about food, and I hate myself for it. I'm not quite on the Irish Stew Guy's level of autism, but I'm worried I'll make it there.

>>16519017
Eh, pizza is labor intensive though, and requires a fucking oven that gets hot as hell to do properly. Yeah the ingredients are cheap as fuck, but the equipment is expensive and I don't like making my own bread. Far easier for me to roll up to the pizza place and roll out with a pizza 10 minutes later.

Chinese food is much easier to cook at home for cheaper in comparison.

>>16512679
I have this problem too.

I found that freeze dried veggies works wonders and helps with the spoilage problem. Side effect is freeze dried food is expensive as fuck.

Frozen are ok, but it tends to change moisture content of the veggies.

>>16515083
There's a frozen meal by viola that is garlic chicken: pretty much its just noodles, chunks of chicken breast, and frozen veggies with some garlic. It is microwavable (though not recommended). I just throw the bag in the nuke for 5 min, pop a hole in the bag and shake it, then throw it back in for 2-3 min more. Cut a corner and dump into a bowl. I toss some old bay in it to help its spice levels out, but you can skip that step.

Mise en place is overrated. You only need it for certain foods that require high heat and cook really fast.

>>16517611
>My homemade jumbalaya uses a store bought sauce
Not all store sauces are shit, only some of them. No harm or sin in using known good sauces in food.
>I tell people I’m an expert smoker but can’t smoke duck
I can't either anon. I've tried, it just comes out dry and bland. Had the same problem with goose, so I'm guessing I just don't know the secret to game birds. Everything else comes out fucking amazing though.

>I think cast iron skillets are a meme
They are, only useful for fire cooking or baking.


>I tell people I hate fast food but sometimes I sneak a spicy chicken sandwich in from Arby’s Popeyes CFA Or Wendy’s
Sometimes you ain't got time to cook, life gets in the way or you are on the road traveling. Hell, I had to live on fast food drive throughs while I was in a cast, doesn't mean I liked it.

>I like using shitty knives because I like a challenge
That's a real sin right there anon.

>>16517611
>I don’t use charcoal bbqs because I have trouble using too much lighter fluid
Use Doritos and/or the cheapest high-proof liquor you can get.

I actually really dislike my mom's cooking.

I cannot stand to eat anything from the ocean. Shrimp, oysters, crab, seaweed, ect. It always smells like a shitty beach and tastes like it smells.

>>16519278
That's a good sign

I used to chew with my mouth open until I was 27. In my defense, nobody told me that it was a bad thing. I finally stopped because someone had the balls to shame me for doing it.

When people ask me if something is spicy, I answer according to my own tastes and not by any mainstream definition. I once took a friend out to lunch at an Indian restaurant, with the promise that the food isn't spicy at all, only to forget that this was his first time eating there, while I've eaten there many different times. Same shit happened when I would share my habanero chips with my coworkers. I also caused a moderate panic when I brought my homemade chili to a potluck. I'm a real clumsy motherfucker like that.

I regularly eat 2L of ice cream in one sitting. In fact now I'm going to walk to the store for a tub.

>>16519388
At least you still walk.

>>16519392
I'm actually super lean because I work a very physically demanding job.

>>16513207
not a sin
i've always wanted to try making cockroach bread, it's full of protein

I put salt on my green apples. They taste exponentially better. My co-worker think it's fucking weird but swears by cheese and (smooth) peanut butter sandwiches on the reg.

I never wash my hands before I cook

I put an inordinate amount of condiment on everything I eat, even if it's completely redundant like putting ketchup on pasta that already has marinara.

>>16518832
full porn link?

>>16512531
*made up

In my second year at university I lived with 2 stoners, 1 was a really cool guy, still good friends to this day, the other guy was decent but when it came to weed he was a fiend. He would smoke as much as he could during a session, say he didn't have any to pitch but had a personal stash. We thought he was stealing weed too. We had a communal candy dish of weed but had to stop that when it mysteriously disappeared and he'd deny it.

So my roommate and I left 2 grams of bud on a table and that night it was gone and he denied it. I almost fought the guy but my roomie was calm and the peacekeeper and defused the situation. When we were alone he said we should prank him for revenge and I was down, but now I wish we just fought and didn't end up almost killing the guy.

We all had to take a plant ID class as part of our program in first year. That included a huge plant collection that everyone kept afterwards because it took a lot of time to do and was a pretty cool keepsake. My roomie is immune to poison ivy (he is part cherokee I heard natives can be immune) so he mounted it and handed it in to be a smartass and luckily the prof didn't touch it or he'd be really pissed lol. So my roomie took a couple leaves and crumbled it up with some ground up weed and put it in a pile on a table near the couch.

This is getting long will continue

>>16519538
You both sound like lunatics.

>>16520892
When we got back from school the next day our roommate wasn't home and we had a msg from a friend saying he was at the hospital...... and no weed pile to be found. Long story short, we thought it would just give his lips blisters but his trachea and lungs were all blistered up and he literally almost died. His parents came up and he stayed in the hospital for almost 3 weeks and we never told a soul, they thought it was some caustic chemical burn or something, they'd never seen anything before like that.

He ended up dropping out for a year and has regained like 80% of his lung function to this day. I see him a couple times a year and I always think about what we did. My roomie and I were terrified that we almost killed a guy although when he got out of the hospital we used to leave weed around the house with a note saying "SMOKE THIS AND DIE" and he never got the connection kek

It was fucked though. The guy is really worried about COVID because his lungs are still shot. Serves him right though.

>>16501454
I am 22, and I have type 2 diabetes from eating so fucking much. Granted, I was born with some congenital issues, but still fuck

>>16520904
>>16520892
jesus christ, we said confessions for food since not attempted murder sins. Although I understand why you did it, fuck that guy.

>>16520904
lol
lmao

I have Crohn's but I refuse to resign myself to a limited diet because a life without milk or onions is not one I want to live.

Fuck Ragusa I am going to deepfry at home.

>>16521030
Kek

I should mention he no longer smokes weed since his hospital stay so a happy ending for all

>>16501454
i add butter to italian pasta recipes

>>16501454
i cant breathe

>>16501454
fill pot with water, let it boil, add rice (roughly half a mug per person), wait 10mins while it boils, drain water and serve

I bought a total of 4140 calories from McDonald's and ate it in one sitting. At least I had enough shame to eat it at home.

>>16505482
Wow, that was graphic...

>>16515016
>peripheral neuropathy

>>16518751
is this a pasta?
Well, it is now.

>>16517641
wtf did he mean by that xdd

>>16521050
How bad do you have it? I and most of my family have it. Personally, I've got it so bad I'm getting muscle weakness from shitting and not absorbing nutrients when I eat.

>>16518751
Holy fucking kek

>>16522268
>muscle weakness from shitting
Wut

>>16501454
I put blueberry jam on my hamburgers

>>16513388
Oh my.

>>16522935

this sounds bomb if its on like a brioche bun

>>16515100
If you have the disposable income and hate thinking up recipes, I say it's fine. 6/10

>>16522569
Yeah, you don't absorb nutrients properly when you have diarrhea and very mucusy shits tend to have a lot of electrolytes in them. I've been hospitalized because my potassium was too low. Went to sleep and woke up 5 hours later trying to shift and my legs wouldn't work, and I couldn't sit up.

>i can only cook 3 meals by memory that require more steps than cook x meat and season to taste
>i fucking hate vegtables but really like leafy greens. only when theyre crunchy
>ill try just about anything but if i cook for myself i make the same safety foods because i feel like i have the flavor palate of a child due to my mom ONLY making freezer foods for the majority of my youth
>i literally cannot figure out how to use a SS pan without fucking up whatever im cooking
>i do not enjoy most normal condiments and think that they only serve to mask shitty food
>i put my cat on the counter so she can still cook with me after she got too old to sit on my shoulder and keep herself stable
>i prefer the $1-2 square freezer pizzas over the majority of higher end pizza joints ive tried

>>16519288
>1 day ago
if you never have, find a place that sells swordfish. im pretty picky on seafood and i would eat swordfish every day if i could. its very tasty, dense like a meat and doesnt smell bad.

>>16524778
>square freezer pizzas
Ellio's is based as fuck

I am and will continue to be a lifelong omnivore, but of all the stupid fad diets to have come out, I am actually very fascinated by Jain vegetarian and Frugivore diets.

Jain vegetarian = Basically vegan, but they also can't consume root vegetables (potatoes, carrots, etc.), and their water has to be filtered.

Frugivore = Eating only fruits.

I wouldn't be opposed to trying them out for like a week each, or maybe on special occasions.

>>16501493
Watermelon makes my sweat smell weird, and whenever I get one, I end up eating the whole thing by myself because the people I ask if they want watermelon end up not wanting any after I cut it open.

>>16525253
>>>16501493
>Watermelon makes my sweat smell weird, and whenever I get one, I end up eating the whole thing by myself because the people I ask if they want watermelon end up not wanting any after I cut it open.
Cut the whole watermelon to dispose of the rind, but in the largest slabs and chunks pieces possible to store in your bowl, and with less surface area, it stays nicer in the fridge longer.
I have not noticed any funk in my sweat from it, personally.

>>16525265
I eat a whole medium size watermelon in a single sitting, it makes my swet smell sweet.

I like eating Spam singles. Usually just plain. Sometimes I'll use it to make a sandwich.

>>16525291
My only criticism to that is that it's probably more economical to just buy a whole can of Spam than to buy them in singles.

>>16501454
About once a month I eat pic related. Straight up bite after bite of the block until it's gone and I've licked the remnants from the foil.

I think eating bugs could actually be an interesting experience, even if it is a leftist meme. I certainly don't want to force anybody into it, I just wanna try it myself. I'll probably go to Vietnam or Thailand to try it out.

>>16525312
I've thought about this too, but I get weird lengths of cravings for them. It's usually easier just to buy the singles, but I might start buying the whole cans anyway. I'm just not sure I'll like it cold. That and I might try to eat the whole can.

>>16509565
horrible!!!!!

>>16501454
I use roasted peppers, roasted garlic, and sauteed onion in nearly everything.

>>16501454
I eat bedbugs everyday.

one day i thought it was a good idea to stir fry leftover salmon with steam broccoli.

it didn't end well.

>>16501454
I eat a spoonful of half butter half sour cream with salt sprinkled on it and have almost polished off both containers in one binge before

>make dough
>let it rise
>its really big
>really happy with my yeast babbys working overtime
>the dought looks so vibrant and full of life
>pop it in the oven
>take it out
>it hits me
>its golden brown but so cold and lifeless
>realise I've holocausted my yeast colony
>I have forsaken my creation in pursuit of gluttony

may god have mercy on my soul

I dissolve cheese wedges in my ramen noodles to make them more creamy.
I've eaten moldy bread on many occasions. I'd rather die than waste food.
I eat bananas with the peel.
I drink plain bouillon in place of tea.
I eat dry ramen as a snack sometimes.

>>16501454
i only use animal fats

>>16524778
>>i do not enjoy most normal condiments and think that they only serve to mask shitty food
>>i put my cat on the counter so she can still cook with me after she got too old to sit on my shoulder and keep herself stable
Based food virtues

>>16502395
is that even nachos?

>>16501454
I like hard-boiled eggs, but I only buy them in the pouch at the store since I think going through the trouble of boiling a pot of water, boiling the eggs, then having to peel the shell off seems like a waste of time

I enjoy the taste of wine + rootbeer mixed together.

>>16527170
if you arent memeing. what kinds of wine and what ratio. im willing to try it.

>>16527173
I get the largest box of wine at costco and pour in diet soda until I can't taste the wine anymore.

>>16527178
what kinda glass do you use

I mix soy sauce with ranch dressing

>>16501454
Sometimes i eat because im bored

Sometimes i eat very late at night and then have terrible dreams that same night

Food is one of the only ways i stave off killing myself

>>16527186
jug with straw

>>16504402
Pasta doesn't seem right without it. I'm used to the texture.

>>16526715
Some people argue that they're actually healthier than plant-based fats. I can buy that, honestly.

I'm a big pretentious food snob to my family and coworkers, but in my private life, I actually quite enjoy junk food.

none, I do everything by the book and popular opinions

>>16501454
I thin my milk with water.

>>16501482
You're not alone man. I don't dip crackers in water, but I do each a face full of crackers and then take a gulp of water. Somehow, it just tastes better.

I fucking love these things. I usually eat like five of them as a snack. One time I had ten.

>>16501454
i really enjoy string cheese and frequently use it instead of real, quality cheeses

I'm 27 and i don't know how to cook.
I can do scramble eggs but that's it.
All I eat is microwave meals, tinned meat with instant rice and breakfast foods.

>>16528945
Still time to learn, man. There are a virtually infinite number of youtube tutorials, and online recipes if you just want a paint by numbers to learn on. I actually think the old episodes of Good Eats are worth a watch too.

>>16528768
constipation recipe

>>16528945
This is the first "real" thing i cooked. You cant really fuck it up and its awesome.
Just put the potatoes in the stew instead of mashing it.
https://youtu.be/T9ZXL2uILF8
Bless chef john

In college, I once tried to make pesto using dried basil. Needless to say, it did not work.

>>16524778
anon you sound adorable

>>16524778
based as fuck

>>16529809
when do you put the potatoes in?

i bought a pack of mars bars (4) and ate all of them yesterday

nutella on white bread with takis

>>16502395
M8 you're doing it wrong if you want fucking amazing nachos.

get a plate
layer doritos
add salsa
layer of cheese
repeats as many times as you want, nuke that shit for a few minutes, wala

I order $30+ worth of fast food for myself in one sitting

I fell asleep while oven roasting a sirloin steak. It over cooked. I chopped some up and ate it with a1 sauce that I only normally keep around for salad. I'm so ashamed.

>>16517780
>>16522264

youre meant to put your sauce etc ontop of the pasta, not mixed with it

I eat chex mix from a bowl using a spoon. I save the corn chex for last. I do this at like 2am and then sometimes skip breakfast and/or lunch as a result

>>16523193
colitis here. I know this feel. hang in there bro. I found out I can't digest (any) beef protein related products. no milk, no beef. I can handle goat milk though.
But beef byproducts are in everything. I'm not sure if its even worth it to bother. what is the limit of illness and quality of life?

One time while studying for an exam, I ate an entire box of ferrero rochers in one day

>>16531941 (You)

I honestly don't remember too much about cross-contamination guidelines. The only thing I do is avoid touching foods with hands/utensils that have touched raw chicken. Otherwise I have no idea.

>>16505434
nice toes homie

I'm Canadian, but I think American food culture is fascinating. Everyone else, including self-aware Americans, seem to be disgusted by it, but I think it's wonderful. God bless you wonderful amazing people.

There's just so much variety, and it's cheap & plentiful.

>>16504328
disgusting

>>16501454
I'm the cannibal poster from a while ago. speaking of which, does anyone here have any tips on where to obtain the holy meat?

I like my microwaveable food with the middle still frozen, the temperature difference adds that little something for me.

I'm a diagnosed psychopath so that might have something to do with it.

I could put sour cream in everything.

>>16501454
U microwave my potato chips before eating them

I slow roasted a 2.5kg leg of lamb and ate the whole thing to myself with veg, mash and gravy. Felt like Henry VIII, but then I was sick.

im in the middle of cooking right now but I'm stalling itt because I have to make a roux for a cheese sauce for mac and cheese and every time I make a roux I have a panic attack even though they always come out fine.

I once made a curry in with really shitty meat in shitty pan with a lid that didn't fit.
Ended up boiling off all the water, leaving burnt onions, spices and gristle in the all scalding oil rendered out of the shitty meat.
I didn't realise what I'd done and ate most of a meal before chucking the rest out.

>>16534131
Did you disown your daughters?

>>16501454
I bought the mini Chocolate bars from Aldi to try to control my calories and I just ate 6 packs.

>>16519017
I also make my own pizza anon :3
Though Asian cooking is piss easy

I can eat tartar sauce with anything.

>>16501454
I FUCKING LOVE MOUNTAIN DEW

>>16518751
This is the post

I had tiramisu and panna cotta despite being pescetarian

>>16501454
>really enjoy putting apple cider vinegar on cold leftover meat like steak or chicken
>one time in college I had very little food so I ate some salted cashews with hot sauce in a bowl
>another time I didn’t have a plate to microwave Buffalo chicken bites so I just microwaved them on a piece of cardboard from the box
>they tasted like cardboard but I ate them anyway
>the first time I ever got baked I ate starbursts without unwrapping them because “they taste the same after the first few chews” and it was easier

Every night before bed I eat a small container of Häagen-Dazs ice cream. I lie in bed scrolling on my phone while I eat the ice cream. Tonight it was chocolate hazelnut. It soothes and comforts me and it's the only thing that makes me feel like I can get through another day

>Home by 11pm
>order from local pizza joint
>20 piece wings
>medium pizza
>side of fries
>drink
>dessert of a slice cheesecake of tub of ice cream

I order that every 2-3 days and eat it until it runs out and repeat. I am terrified and miserable

>>16512642
>never pour off grease
>scramble eggs in pan
>discard shitty icing
>wave lettuce around like a sperg
I do all these things too, kek

>>16517147
My ex girlfriend would eat butter sometimes
She wasn’t even fat, but she thought it was totally normal to just eat a big slab of butter when cutting it up for baking

>>16527161
My dad used to just make like 36 of them at once while listening to music and drinking. Then he’d toss them in a few jars with pickling brine and fridge them. Tasty snacks all week.

>>16530404
I once ate two bags of peach rings, half a family sized bag of caramel m&ms, and 3 boxes of Charleston chew in a single day

I fucking love leftover spicy food that’s cold.
Refrigerated chicken wings are the best. Something about cold, yet spicy really does it for me.

>>16535729
>pizza and wings leftovers for 2-3 days then repeat
I do this pretty often, kek

>>16533714
>providing affordable housing to poor people
i see no problem here

>>16502395
this, but the version that has the actual spaghetti pasta in it too. also as a filling for a grilled cheese

must be an australian thing

>>16512642
>never pour off the grease from ground meat when browning it
i didn't even know this was a thing until I saw americans cook

>>16501454
I eat unbaked prebaked bread
I eat cold plain tortillas
I snack on raw oats
I microwave egg Whites
I eat half a slice of bread and leave it on the counter
I would rather moonch than have a regular meal
Porridge with whey is a feast to me and i eat it every morning
Sometimes when i need a knob of butter to fry i bite it off the Stick to avoid using a knife
I eat plain lettuce with barbecue sauce as a dip
I offen eat the inside of a loaf without touching the crust
Hard boiled eggs with mayo is my favourite dish
I eat food as its cooking and thus regularly genocide my tastebuds

>>16537382
you must be a joy to be around

I once ate cereal with beer, it tasted like puke
i drink 2 liters of tea every day
i dont wash my rice and finish it with aknobba buttah
i will toss anything with mold on it
I only buy meat on Discount

>>16501454
I like basmati rice with BQQ sauce on a corn tortilla.

Ive come to accept how vile i am.

>>16518751
Shouldnt have married a skunk

>>16532414
>plentiful
Thats what i like about american cuisine. They wont go around with that minimalist bullshit

>>16501454
I once emptied 3 bags of ready salted Squares into a bowl and then dumped a beef and tomato Pot Noodle on top and ate it with a fork and spoon

I drink flavored vodka

>>16538108
That's fucked mate and I eat pot noodle sarnies

>>16535704
Imagine the waxy shits.

i eat those nissin cup noodles almost every day

when I'm hungry at night I just grab a bunch of cold cuts directly from the box

>>16501454
>ragusea
false shepherd

>>16501485
lmao

>>16535729
Damn dude you get all that from your local pizza place? I'm kinda jealous.

>>16518751

I no longer feel like I am in love with the girl from Chick fil a. I believe I am finally free from that curse, which I am grateful for. Now I'm back to being mundanely depressed. I started drinking again.

>>16520904
I know the guy you poisoned and I'm forwarding this to the police.

I'm only 3 days on the wagon and a part of me just wants to dive headfirst off and back into the bottle, despite needing to quit to survive.

>>16520904
>>16520892
Dude it's just fucking weed holy shit. I get if he like went in your room through your stuff to smoke some, but if you just let it sit out, that's just how it goes. You should consider killing yourself.

>>16538911
That's called addiction bro. Don't fucking get a bottle. DON'T DO IT

>>16538911
I'm trying to get off but I live in a house with a fucking nut case and I need something to calm me down. But I also need to finish school so I can get the hell out and never have to hear a word out of his mouth again.

>>16520892
>>16520904
why would you have a 'communal' dish for weed and then get butthurt when people smoke it. it honestly just sounds like you had a spergfit didn't communicate properly and sent a dude to hospital for like $100 worth of weed at most.

always count on a stoner to be massively hypocritical and violent when their widdle drug use turns into a babby squabble though

>>16524778
Cute

all you fat fucks need to get shot

>>16501454
I rinse my chips.
Pour out a bowl of chips and quickly rinse the salt off of them with water.

>>16539073
okay baldie

>>16524778
you are a very cool person. I would probably try to have sex with you irl

>>16520892
>>16520904
Ah yeah, druggies and their ridiculous attempts to protect their stash

>>16520892
>>16520904
The classic druggie tale
>shit my friend smoked some of my drugs!
>I could ask him for $10 to replace it
>Nah, I'll just try to kill him
Drug users should all be killed

>>16539073
this

>>16509565
haha wtf

>>16538150
Worst one ITT

>>16524842
Ellio's is the pinnacle of frozen pizza and the fact that it's never mentioned on /ck/ is testament to the absolute shit taste of this board.

I'm nikocado avocado
AMA

>>16539182
How long did recovery last? I'm sure that had to suck ass

it's probably been two years or so since i had any fast food and each time i see it now i want it more and more
i have already sinned in my mind

>>16538911
invest in some sleeping pills

>>16539073
rude

>>16539194
This happened to me with soda. I was avoiding soda for so long I started having dreams about it. Had some coke, felt guilty the I woke up and was so glad it was all a dream.

>>16539259
This happened to me, but with cocaine

I was making a stew for my family once in my cast iron deep skillet and it was going great (first time ever making stew) until I got the idea to add cinnamon to it. A lot of cinnamon. I ended up using mustard, ketchup and brown sugar to cover it and it was so sweet I made myself sick but my family liked it somehow. I feel that the cinnamon is my greatest food sin.

>>16539460
>it was so sweet I made myself sick but my family liked it somehow.
Anon, I don't want to be that guy, but I think your family just told you they liked it to spare your feelings.

>>16539460
Cinnamon can become over powering pretty quickly. If I ever use it it's only ever like a pinch or two. I hope that stuff never goes bad because I'll be having it for a while longer. About how much did you use? Also sounds like your stew ended up having a BBQ sauce like flavor at the end.

>>16539472
I think you're right which I'm more sad that I fucked up good food than they tried to spare my feelings.

>>16539474
A lot. I just shook it into the skillet like a tard. I've never had BBQ sauce but if that's what it's like I'm not a fan

>>16539479
Sounds like you put in at least a teaspoon worth of cinnamon. It depends but a cheap basic BBQ sauce is ketchup, mustard, brown sugar, some kind of vinegar, and worcestershire sauce.

>>16539534
I used worcestershire sauce and a few others, I can't remember exactly, but it was less sweet and more savory before I put in the cinnamon and then the rest. I liked it like that. Sweet's okay but it's not my preferred taste.

>>16520892
That's fucking brutal, but as a weed fiend myself I'm sure that guy had it coming.

>>16520892
Was he allergic to poison ivy specifically, or would this happen to anyone?

>>16517147
>My brother used to mix juice and milk, then drink it.
not weird, we have a drink in France like that and it's called Danao
/and it's fucking delicious

>>16531941
faggot

>>16539925
>>16517147
I remember watching a TV show where they showed you how to make "Island Milk"; it was literally just milk, orange juice, and sugar mixed together. I'm pretty sure this was an American TV show, though the recipe could've come from anywhere.

At first I thought it was a load of shit and the recipe was just made up for the show, but no, this is a real recipe:
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink10660.html
http://www.idrink.com/v.html?id=14032

>>16501454
ive been eating canned food at room temp because i have no way to cook it in my apt

>>16540149
Why does your apartment have nothing to cook with? Are you renting a room in New York that costs less than $1000 a month?

>>16540077
Sounds close to an unfrozen orange julius

the only real sin is throwing away perfectly good food

>>16540219
Holy shit, this. My workplace does company lunches at least once a month, and the amount of waste I see is fucking disappointing.

>tfw I saw two partially eaten burgers
Motherfuckers should've just split the burger.

>>16540244
And the company is very small; the most we had at one time was 16 employees.