/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16529390
pay your bill and taxi home. Do not drive.

please stop drinking your family is concerned

>>16529390
I'm 99% sure you meant to post this on Grindr, but my vote is to get behind the wheel of course.

>>16529390
Start singing the we are castaways song really loudly.

>>16529391
I’ll drive and get a taxi. Thanks.
>>16529392
My what?

>>16529390
Get an 8th

>>16529399
I already didktaxy

>>16529390
Has anyone ever actually been cut off by the bartender before? I've heard stories but I've ordered double digit amounts of drinks before and never been cut off by the bartender.
Is it just when you start becoming obnoxiously drunk?

>>16529428
it's arbitrary and you're only gonna get cut off if you start to become a nuisance or liability, if you're holding your liquor and not making the place worse for the staff or other patrons they won't care if you're at number 2 or number 20

>>16529390
Drive home.

>>16529428
You have it exactly right. If you tip well and keep your shit together, you will not be cut off

>>16529428
they will sell you drinks with half alcohol or sometimes no alcohol. as long as you pay up

>>16529428
I got cut off at an uncrowded bowling alley in redneck Indiana. I was told by my wife that I was being loud, but not particularly obnoxious nor swearing more than is customary at a bowling alley. It's possible that the bartender saw the 72 game I was working on,decided that any grown man should be better, and that my inebriation had something to do with it, but the truth is that I'm just that bad.

Hit on a girl who's not interested in you and finds you disgusting. GET

>>16529390
Donuts in the parking lot

go get some food, hit up the drive through and order a few mcdoubles. Go home and drink a bunch of water, jerk off then pass out.

piss on the bartender

>>16529484
>jerk off
TFW my dick is cooked spaghetti once I pass being buzzed and am legitimately drunk.

>>16529467
Only acceptable answer.

>>16529550
Same, but the devil is, I'm also insatiably horny when I'm well and truly drunk.
>Tfw desperately mashing my flaccid dick just to try and get off at least once
>Tfw passing out with limp dick in hand, pants around my ankles

>>16529484
I did this

How do I learn to enjoy being drunk lads? Even when I’m slightly tipsy I start to stutter and can’t have a normal conversation, plus I can feel my face getting red and my eyelids drooping and I’m self-conscious that I look like a plastered moron. Plus, I feel like the line between pleasantly buzzed and throwing up/feeling like shit is so thin idk how it’s possible to stay in between for any amount of time. Is this normal? Like, I can’t imagine being drunkenly loud and obnoxious because I go straight from feeling sedated and buzzed to feeling like I’m going to pass out and throw up. It’s not that I can’t drink a lot of liquor- I can down a bottle of wine or a six pack of beer alright, it’s just that whenever I exit the “tipsy” stage I go straight into the “nauseous and uncomfortable” stage, there’s nothing in between

>>16529582
I also threw up in a walmart into a bunch of baby clothes

>>16529595
Be in good company, if everyone around you is an asshole then you'll act like an asshole too

>>16529443
Shit, the only times I ever hit a turkey are when I'm nigh blackout drunk. Same with golf, when I'm extremely drunk, I play the best games of my life.

>>16529391
>Drank 3 bottles of champagne worth of mimosas one Christmas at a brunch place.
>Drive ~1 mile back to my apartment.
>Immediately puke.

>>16529428
I was "cut off" once at a place doing trivia, but I had already closed my tab. Joke was on him.

>>16529646
Although I cannot bowl for shit, I am virtually unbeatable at darts and bags (or cornhole for some fags) until I can't stand.

>>16529428
In college I got thrown out of the bar every other weekend

>>16529428
You have to try really fucking hard to get cut off, here in Montana. Or just be Crow Indian.

>>16529610
Based.

i hope you kill yourself driving drunk

>>16530054
fuck off, faggot

I haven't set foot in a bar in prob ten years. Fuck getting drunk in public, fuck paying 5-10X as much to do it, fuck paying for a taxi, and fuck stupid roasties trying to get you to buy them drinks only to walk off the moment you do. The only chad way to drink is alone.

>>16530104
That's the truth. It's way easier to avoid getting extremely drunk by yourself, too.

>>16530104
>The only chad way to drink is alone
This but your dog hangs out with you while you blackout playing gamecube.

>>16529390
how often do you drink like this?

>>16529428
Yeah but not in like a get kicked out by a bouncer way. Just an "ok you already killed like 12 pints and 5 shots and I know you need to drive home" kinda way.

fight a patron or staff

>start waking up with a tight chest until I finally get a beer or two in me
>go to doctor because worried about heart health
>heart and pulse are fine, no blood pressure issues
Guess the withdrawal anxiety is hitting me, time to stop

>>16529390
Walk out on your tab and drive around for an hour before going home

>>16529610
Fucking based

>>16529610
based as fuck