/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>Your mom giving me head under the table

old sign with the movable letters that look like they haven't been changed since 1970. Especially if there's a pepsi logo on top

>>16478510
Yes, that tells me that they're not prone to changing shit "just because."

>>16478505
If they serve chicken fried steak

No beans, no chili, no pasta no pizza, no garlic bread, no pancakes...truck stop city filtered

>the sign says Wawa

>>16478601
Based. And as a counter-example
>Red flag: sign says “Sheetz”

>tendies served on paper in a plastic basket

>>16478509
OPs flirty Dutch pen Amish mother is smokin

>Menu is just 3 starters, 3 main courses and 3 desserts that change every week

>>16478802
Everybody always claims that girl braps are just as bad, even worse than fat sweaty man braps. I bet PA Dutch girl braps are nothing of the sort. Years of purity and innocence has given them a softer more perfume-like scent, similar to a bed of dew touched flowers on a cool spring morning.

>>16478505
Ronald McDonald on a bench

>ordering area has line made of drink troughs
>staff wearing matching uniform and hats
>dining area at 1/5 capacity
>beer tap only has 3 beers
>at least one cook looks fat and depressed

>>16478829

basically this. a big unchanging menu is a huge red flag.

>>16478505
Says 'God bless you' even if I left two bucks for tips.

>>16478505
Small ethnic plate that does 2-3 main dishes.

Local restaurant that changes menu weekly with fresh produce.

>>16478505
>Mexican restaurant
>all Mexican staff
>mostly Mexican clientele
>never devoid of customers while open

>>16481016
>sneezing in public, in a resturaunt in 2021
Prepare to be v&

sticky floors, urban youth workers.

>>16478927
This. Also the same with trans woman braps. Nothing like sour meaty man braps.
I've even had a trans woman shit in my mouth and the flavor and smell are nothing compared to gross men.

Negro soul food place with a grandma/grandpa and his/her grandson/granddaughter cooking in the back and jazz playing

>>16478505
good smell coming from the kitchen

>>16478505
>fresh bread/tortillas made in-house
>restaurant has an adult atmosphere that doesn't try to be meta or hip
>restaurant has a crowded bar area to filter the frat retards and salarymen who just want to drink
>waitresses are either hot and bubbly or ancient and depressed, no in-between
>FOH staff are all well-mannered whites, kitchen staff are whites/latinos who swear like sailors
>zero blacks in sight (unless it's barbecue)

>>16482338

>>16478510
if they take credit cards, they charge extra for using them.

>>16478927
Girls don't fart

If there are giant yellow arches forming into an 'M' in the front of the restaurant

if you get three for free

Eat there constantly, they do not try and act like they know you on an even superficial level.

>>16478510
>>16478829
>>16478930
>>16482463
soul

>>16483811
wrong, I want the opposite. I want them to know they have to get my meal right or else I won't come back and give them semi stable revenue.

>>16482338
Get murdered disgusting freak.

>>16482338
>trans woman

>>16478505
>closed on Sunday to honor God

>>16478505
>Chinese or Mexican staff and live in the back of the restaurant illegally

>mexican place is cash only
>garlic fries are standard
>Margherita pizza actually has dollops of mozzarella instead of being regular American cheese pizza with slices of tomato on top
>burgers use broiche buns

>>16478505
the waitresses all wear pushup bras and booty shorts.

All white staff unless it's ethnic food. In which case all staff have ethnic moms and white dad's.

>>16478927
I actually imagine they smell earthy, like when you dig up a patch of earth for planting, slightly sweet and nutty

I also imagine their logs look good, like being of a deep brown color, solid, not segmented

>>16478505
They use a steam table so I can inspect the food before ordering. Places that make food 'fresh' are just don't want you to see their garbage cooking until they already have your money.

Adult atmosphere, plenty of seasonal items, shitty pop music never plays and what’s actually playing is more for ambience, no kids menu or kids for that matter, and they care about presentation (picrel).

>>16478505

>not on the tourist hotspot trail
>locals eat there
>greeted by the proprietor of the eating establishment
>no 'fun' naming of dishes
>no melanin enriched peoples in sight

>>16481005
>a big unchanging menu

You mean constantly changing menu is a red flag. A place which sticks to a few dishes and does those well is a reliable place that can be trusted for a good meal.

>>16484935
It’s hardly good if it’s Sysco item #1615380. Good places serve a lot of local, fresh, seasonal dishes.

>>16484960
>It’s hardly good if it’s Sysco item #1615380

Fair point - what I had in mind when I made that comment were those small rustic restaurants run by locals (European, Asian) which focus on the traditional cuisine of that area. Seasonal menus are great as long as they stick to a few good dishes. The sort of places that think they can be fresh having a 30+item menu that changes every month or try putting out a new dish every week are awful.

>>16478505
>Restaurant green lights that tell you you’re going to have a great meal
no non-white customers or staff

>>16484960
Sysco delivers fresh local produce now, too.

>>16478509
>plot twist
It was my dad!

>>16478505
I’m in the heart of Amish country in southern Indians and Amish buffets are amazing

>>16485093
Indiana* damnit

>>16484765
eh, I'd agree only if it's a restaurant that primarily serves Chinese takeout. Anything else is probably reheated slop from Sysco

>>16478505
Having cutesy names for several of their dishes. If a restaurant can't take the time and effort to jazz up their dish names, they likely aren't spending any time or effort on their food.

>>16478927
>>16482338
>>16484612

>>16485680
>>16484931
The duality of man

>>16478505
Being in a tourist hot spot. As an area with the highest rent, being able to survive in such an environment speaks of quality.

A lack of locals. Locals tend to be fine with the same sloppa they grew up with, and let feelings of nostalgia or peer pressure override a discerning pallet.

No sign of the owner in the front. An owner should be in the back keeping a keen eye on the cooks to ensure quality food.

Lots of inventively named dishes. Boring names suggest boring food, and a laziness with names means they're probably lazy about washing their hands.

No melanin enriched peoples in sight.

small menu and specialization, ie no pizza and burgers, sushi and pho, stuff like that. smaller restaurants are usually better. pizza places with a wood oven. no buzzwords like flatbread, rustic, authentic

>>16478505
>can see the chefs cooking
>waitress calls me “hun”

>>16478509
Those off the highway strip joints don't usually have good food.

>>16486102
>tourist hot spot
Especially if the restaurant looks kinda shitty. They're either making money with their food or they're a mob front.

>>16486290
Have you seen his mom? The food HAS to be good or else they'd have gone out of business decades ago.

>>16486282
>waitress calls me “hun”
H-how does one find these places?

>>16486770
Try to find your region's bible belt equivalent. Every state, nation, and country has one.

>>16486774
>tfw atheistic European

>blacks serving your food

>the food is good

>>16486774
>>16486770
> go to Vestjylland
> get called a female

>>16478505
>wings place
>owner is morbidly obese and wearing a hawaiian shirt

if you rape an amish girl she has to marry you

>>16478927
they smell like scrapple

>>16478601
wawa is shit now

>>16478505
>italian christian name
>restaurant in full of goombas
>plate of spaghetti & meatballs is ~$5

>>16482353
>waitresses are either hot and bubbly or ancient and depressed, no in-between
This is the single largest green flag I've ever seen.
If your waitress is a bored, young woman, your food will e shit. But change either of those adjectives and your food will be 100% better.

>>16482338

>staff wear t shirts with the logo on the back, preferably including a cheesy slogan
>serves specific dishes on specific days of the week (mostly Mexican restaurants do this here)
>family run restaurant with the high school kids working the counter/register

>>16478505
>the staff barely speaks english
easily the biggest sign you are in for some bomb ass food

>>16488289
nogs barely speak english so no, you fail.

>>16478505
The Amish restaurant near me has all the girls wearing skin tight pencil skirts.

>>16488295
you just never been to a good black restaurant nigga

>>16478601
I used to work somewhere names Waw Waw which had nothing to do with food or anything like that.
Sometimes I'll get retards calling me if were "Wawa."
I'll say no, we just have a simliar name.
But then sometimes I'd get retards who didn't get the clue, so I'd give them directions to a Sheetz that's 20 minutes away.

>>16488297
That's not an Amish restaurant.

>>16484421
esam might be soy but not m2k

>>16478505
Golden Arches right outside.
Literally millions served.

>>16486102
>Being in a tourist hot spot. As an area with the highest rent, being able to survive in such an environment speaks of quality.
>A lack of locals. Locals tend to be fine with the same sloppa they grew up with, and let feelings of nostalgia or peer pressure override a discerning pallet.

If they're in a "tourist hot spot" they can coast off of foot traffic while not having to worry about attracting repeat customers. For example there are plenty of shitty restaurants on the Ocean City MD boardwalk but they've been there for 40 years simply because they're there.

To counter that second point, it's a logical progression from the first. The locals know to avoid those shitty restaurants, and generally it's common knowledge that the locals know what's best, especially in big cities

>No Substitutions

>>16488297
bet you wish they were dudes fag

>>16478510
you are a man undaunted by the heights your cholesterol has climbed

I salute you

>>16489828
Nah, blood pressure maybe. Place I'm thinking of is chinese, the kind where you get chased out with a broom if you ask about MSG

>>16484931
>>16486102
>No melanin enriched peoples in sight.
Even with all those fundamental disagreements, certain undeniable truths come to light.

>you pay before eating your meal and not after.

>>16489058
Based and McPilled

>>16481005
Does /ck/ really attract pretentious gordon fucks who want every restraunteer to pick his own apples at 3 AM?

>>16485093
>>16485101
Where in IN?

>>16478505
I see truckers and sales reps eating there

>>16478505
Restaurant menu only contains ~four dishes, like
>daily meat
>daily vegetarian
>daily fish
>dessert
Also positives:
>They have their own wine aging room
>Actual open-fire grill (charcoal, for example) in the kitchen
>Only open 5 days a week for dinner (Tue->Sat)

>>16489058
People actually like McDonalds?

>>16478829
THIS. Always makes going there interesting and fun

Shawarma joints that are run by middle aged or older Muslim or Indian husband and wife, with their child sitting on an iPad in the corner. Best sloppa always comes from these places.

>>16491435
I love McDonald's, I just don't eat it much for health reasons

>>16492074
plus all the poop you can eat