/ck/ - Food & Cooking

my dad only cooked when my mom wasn't home and he was capable of burning pasta

>>16442311
That's funny I mean my Dad barely cooked but when he did he went full on autism going by every small little detail trying to replicate exactly the recipe whatever he made. He never made dishes when my Mom wasn't around

>>16442307
My dad has a few specialties that he can nail. Jerk turkey is one of them. Most of his cooking is either bland or just simple survival-mode nonsense - I just asked him if he'd eaten because I was going to take him out for some patio beers and maybe some lunch...
>"I had a can of tuna and an apple for breakfast but I'll probably be hungry around 2 or 3."
>"I'll pick you up around 2, Mr. Bale... The way you eat worries me man, do you need groceries or anything?"
>"Nah, I've got a full fridge: a dozen eggs, a cannonball of peameal bacon. I just felt tuna and apple deficient."

>>16442307
Men are better cooks and have better palates and have better technical skills. My mom cooked homey stuff and had a routine but the few times my dad cooked he would make really interesting dishes.

>>16442442
See?! I knew I wasn't the only fucking one!!

>>16442357
Your dad is based for letting his instincts tell him what type of nutrients he should consume.

dad could always whip up a fantastic full breakfast but i doubt thats really anything to brag about
would make amazing eggrolls, fuckin' neighbors would come over and take like 20 of em, it took him all day just for the ingredients alone.

>>16442457
He's survived so far, but he's definitely more decrepit than he should be... mind you, he spent a lot of time in his 20's and 30's fighting off dangerous cocaine, whiskey and nicotine deficiencies.

dad cooks like shit and always leaves a mess.

>>16442508
your dad is based

>>16443347
he probably is if he had any cocaine left...

>>16442357
>I just felt tuna and apple deficient."
kek. Massive protein to fat ratio and keeping that fucking doctor at bay for 1 more day. He's broken the code.

other way around for me - mom's cooking is much much better and very good

>>16442357
Your dad sounds based

>go to brothers house for family cookout
>me and my brother and my dad stand next to the grill drinking domestic beer and talking about lawn care while my niece and nephew run around
>our collective faces when

>>16443366
I just found it kind of funny that he decided the Machinist diet (black coffee, cigarettes, a can of tuna and an apple) was how he was going to start his day. Christian Bale almost literally lost his ass to that.

>>16443378
Red wagoneer.....stratospheric levels of based.

>>16443410
yeah, i got the reference. That's pretty much all my dad lived off of too minus the tuna and the apple.

my dad can't cook and he only eats frozen meals or at least buys "premium" frozen foods that's delivered to him. At least the frozen food he related tasted pretty good
But my mom can't cook either and we suffered through unseasoned food and boiled meat when we were kids
I hate women now

>>16443441
Based

>>16443441
My mom had a solid repertoire of English food... Meat was always overcooked, or salted/tinned/bagged and boiled back to life, but she could do desserts, meatpies, curries (which I found odd... she's translucent) and just about any species of potato like nobody's bidness.

Both my parents have always severely over cooked every meat. It's like they think it's the 1800s and everything must roast for an hour to kill off the bacteria or something.

>>16442357

>calling your dad mister

unless he's your mother's boyfriend

>>16443527
>not getting the reference

>>16443527
His given name is Christian, but our family name isn't Bale.

>>16443527
the machinist. dumbass

If your dad can cook then he's some kind of faggot lmao
And your mom's probably not there cause she's out sucking off Jamal lmao faggot dad and white mum THATS YOIR FAMILY CUNT LMAK NOE IT MAKES SENSE WHY YOURE SUCH A FUCKING LOSER AHAHAHAHAS FUCKING OIECE LF SHIT FUCKJBG FEAGGIT FKEKJBG RBF UOURSELF

>>16442307
My dad can't cook for shit, my mom and my grandma taught me how to cook and now I'm the one who makes the special meals

>>16442307
When I was 4 my Dad tried making me breakfast and put a pop tart in the toaster with the foil still on

>>16442307
>>Mom cooks "alright" dishes daily to feed the family
this is it
moms only learn how to cook insofar as doing just okay routinely
it's not their fault either, if your dad was a stay at home fag he'd be making liver and grits every other day

>>16445096
Whose fault is it if not theirs?

>>16442307
Definitely not the case for me. My dad would burn the hell out of everything he made. Mom was definitely the better cook.

>>16443467
>which I found odd... she's translucent

There were a few 'curry cookbooks' which were extremely popular in the UK from the 1970s onwards. My friends son got into it during the lockdown and now makes curry better than the local restaurants do. The only bitch is that it takes hours and fucking hours.

>>16445415
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where extraordinary effort would be required to produce even decent returns. For example, if you get a job as a manager or supervisor in a company that employs totally incompetent people. Cooking 3 high-effort meals a day is something I don't think anybody should be doing for free, unless they really enjoy it.

My Dad can't cook for shit. My Mom is, or was, phenomenal at cooking, but now she doesn't give a shit and her cooking is ass. She says she thinks eating is a chore. Annoys the hell out of me.

>>16445732
why don't you cook something nice for her, you ungrateful little shit. you only have one mother, she'll pass away one day and it'll come sooner than you expect

>>16445741
Maybe his mother is a narcissistic bitch who feeds her 15 year old kids nothing but the lowest quality garbage sloppa. Mine was. Some people don't have a lot to be thankful for, you ungrateful little shit.

>>16445748
Sure, everybody you don't get along with is a narcissist. What an era.

>>16445748
well if your mother didn't drown you in the bath as a baby, you should thank her for that, you dumbass 15 year old, no wonder your mother doesn't like you

>>16442307
I agree OP. My mum cooks most of the time making plain but ok dishes and sloppas. When my dad cooks he tends to use a recipe and take his time, which improves the quality vastly. We've been cooking together sometimes as of late, so the meals are extra good.

>>16442307
My dad can't cook for shit aside from the occasional instant ramen we'll share when mom's not home, but holy shit he's like a savant when it comes to steaks. Whenever we have steaks or really any kind of barbeque I swear he puts cocaine in it or something because he always grills it to perfection

>>16445723
Maybe that's it, but I'm pretty sure she was over here in the colonies by then. Either way, when she finally retires and sells her house, it will take centuries to get the smell of fenugreek out of the studs.

My dad only cooks when he gets an idea from his wierdo youtube videos. One time he took me and my brother into the fields near our house to look for literal weeds to eat and another time he had us eat raw meat for a week

My mom can’t cook really, she can follow a recipe but that’s it. My dad is the boss of the kitchen. Mom gets all nervous and stressed when she has to cook. I think she’s strange/mentally ill

>>16442307

Exact opposite for me growing up. Dad always got off work early because he worked construction so he made alright dinners every night (Steak, Meatloaf, Pasta, etc) while Mom worked until dinner time. On weekends and holidays my mom would go crazy and make a bunch of casseroles, candy/baked goods, plus every sunday was breakfast taco day.

>>16442307
>Dad used to make the best God damn spicy shit known to man
>Taught me how to grill everything to perfection as well as seasoning and marinating it
>Also taught me how to make pizzas from scratch as well as using spices
>Get stomach surgery
>I'm the only one that enjoys those recipes in the house
It hurts bros

>>16445729
Wives get half of their husband's salary. That could be a sizeable or a meager wage but it isn't for free.

>>16442307
meanwhile my dad washes a steak and yesterday I found out he was washing the dishes with laundry pods

test

>>16447245
retard use ctrl+s if it doesnt work then you cant spoiler

spoilers only work on media boards

>>16447249
>ctrls
I'm bedposting. And I figured they weren't enabled but I wanted to check

>>16445753
some people's mothers are cunts anon, don't assume everybody had a good one just because you were lucky enough to

>>16443999
literally only 4chan autists know about this movie

>>16447351
It was on Netflix for a decade, I watched that movie before I even came here.

>>16447292
Keep those armchair diagnoses coming, anon. Did you know that 80% of the population is either a narcissist or psychopath? A further 15% are autistic, and the remaining 5% has either depression or anxiety minimum.

>>16448057
But did you know that 205% of the population don't know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

>live with parents
>mom is extremely "old fashioned", boys should do boy things, girls should do girl things
>both sisters can cook
>the son (me) can't cook for shit
>mom is MIA
>wfh dad wants lunch
>make him "lemon pasta"
>it's just pasta noodles with lemon juice
>he vomits
>mom and sisters laugh upon their return
>don't take the opportunity to realize i should learn how to cook
>ff several years
>living on own
>need to feed self
>cooking is absolute trash
>you'd think it'd improve after living solo and getting takeout/delivery/prepared meals less than once a month
>you'd be wrong
>ff another year or so
>learn about calorie counting
>learn about calorie restriction, health, diet, macronutrients
>start getting extremely interested in food/cooking
>lose over 15kg, get below 18% body fat for 1st time in life
>cooking makes inviting sisters over for meals WAY more successful
>cooking really impresses any dates I bring home
>(they always want to fuck you after you cook a nice meal for them)
Someday if and when I get married, at least I, the future husband, will be able to say that my cooking will be great.
Although it doesn't hold a candle to the denizens of this board - I've only really gotten into it in the last half a year or so, and just don't have that much under my belt.

>>16442307
makes sense for me because my father taught my mother how to cook
my father isn't so good at it nowadays because he's always wasted now

>>16447362
>he's been here less than a decade
get off my site

>>16448282
So how hard do you fuck your sisters after you cook for them?

>>16448505
hard

>>16448282
Happy for you anon.

>>16442307
All my mom's food is shit tier but we all acted like it was good because she'd get mad and throw things. All of my dad's cooking was top tier 10/10 but mom would always be overly critical even though her criticism made no sense.

My dad was also a Chef so its not surprising his food was good.

>>16442307
moms dont give a fuck, they put in the least amount of effort they can get away with, most of them dont even bother to learn basic principles of cooking, its just a chore
while dad tries his best and makes it special because its something he wants to do

>>16448282
>pasta noodles with lemon juice
what the fuck were you thinking?

>>16443395
comfy

Grew up poor, my dad was a struggle food genius. I will never forget this bomb ass pizza he made out of toasted white bread

>>16442307
My dad's a clinical psychologist, which means he's a complete retard when it comes to math and practical stuff. I remember once, when mom was away for a week, he made awful dinners. Example:
>Take one package of ham-flavored spreadable cheese
>Warm it in a pot
>Boil pasta
>wa la, ham & cheese pasta
Mom wasn't the best cook, but she at least understood some basics (she could make béchamel sauce, for example).

>>16442307
I don't fucking know but mine did the exact same thing. It's some kind of muscle memory but for skills. He also could drive 1200km to the remote house of my aunt and uncle in southern France we visited every 3-4 years by memory

I think it's a mixture of classic masculine skills not yet tainted by modern inventions like smartphones for recipes or navigation

>>16450188
My dad is also a clinical psychologist and he’s very good with numbers and math. Typical “we didn’t use calculators in my day” attitude

>>16451049
Did he use the "how do you feel about that?" routine all the time as well? It used to drive me nuts, since I realised he was doing his analysis stuff instead of actually talking to me like a normal person.

>>16451067
Not really, but I would always end up getting sucked into these long and tortuous emotional conversations. He would do this thing where he would just sit there and stare at me for like a minute straight after I said something that was particularly at odds with his point of view.
I’ve got a great relationship with him though and feel truly lucky to have a father like him, seems a rare thing today.
Also to be on topic he is the chef and my mom most certainly isnt.

>>16451154
Sounds harsh, dude. If you're a happy individual nowadays, it probably means your dad did a good job in the end.

>>16442357
is he autistic?

>>16442307
My mom is a god cook and an actual food scientist

Though my dad has a crazy good home made salad recipe

Makes caeser salad like pizza or French fries while being healthy

Wish I could post it but I’m range banned because I spammed fat fetish porn and feederism on here for a decade

>>16442307
men are simply better than women

>>16442307
Mom = Function

Dad = Form

>>16451196
Really wasn’t harsh, ‘tortuous’ as in long and winding. They functioned as a way to vent thoughts of life and stress and other things of that nature. I tend to hold things in, and I guess my dad knew how to open the floodgates

>>16451429
Huh, interesting. I only learned to "open up" and be an actual emotional being after moving out and being free from my family.

Mom cooks on daily basis and is not really interested in cooking, but someone's gotta do it. Dad only cooks on special occasions.
Go figure which one yields better end result.