/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16423147
she likes spaghetti

>>16423169
how the fuck do I get my garloid to do this

>>16423169
where's the one where they rip off the penis

How does he get out?

>>16423169
That's fucking hot

>>16423270
I started to jack off to this until I realized it was a dude

>>16423727
wouldn't this be a cunt to clean?

>>16424288
Sodoku

>>16423169
>first response is to open her mouth
women

>>16424382
Holy fuck. Ok, you got me.

>>16423727
Nice. Give that to somebody with ACTUAL OCD and watch as their frail human body fails to match the precision of the board. You'd be responsible for the freak out that follows.

>>16424302
Isn't that the son who's a rapper now?

>>16424790
That's why I keep the twelve gauge oiled up

>>16424802
no

>>16423270
>so for today's recipe here's what you'll need:
>2 cups flour
>1 cup water
>pinch of salt
>one large saute pan
>a spatula for flipping
>one F-22 raptor decommissioned Pratt and Wittney F135 Turbofan engine with 3-stage fan/6-stage high pressure compressor and 2-dimensional vectoring convergent nozzle
>plate for serving

>>16424890
>brine solution doesn't fully cover the turkey

autism triggered

>>16424314
Pretentious, faggoty and overly complicated. -5.5/10

>>16424276
That looks good, but I can't find anything not in Indonesian. Savory crepe like food? What's the green base made out of?

>>16425856
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pandan_cake

>>16424802
yes

>>16423169
it looks just like my cock

>>16424291
so if i dipped my dick in the batter and deep fried it, would my dick burn before the batter is done

>>16425819
Fuck, I've only got a hellmouth, will that do?

just about 24 hours from now:
/ck/ vs /w/ in our first match of the 10year anniversary 4CC World cup

>>16426810
this is what our team currently looks like
>https://implyingrigged.info/wiki//ck/
and if you are wondering what the fuck this is here is a usefull link to catch you up to speed
>https://implyingrigged.info/wiki/FAQ

>>16426999
>no mask, so he is bretahing in loads of the shit, the only thing worse than eating it

baka

>>16427109
Masks don't work, libtard.

>>16427113
forgot to atach a soyjack, so your argument does not count

>>16424802

maybe

>>16423727
Shit as long as those aren't indented into the wood and are just burnt/painted on its not a bad idea

>>16424802
I don't know.

>>16424875
>american cuisine
ftfy

>>16426384
what did chinese people do before they started installing jet engines in the kitchen?

>>16424380
wtf is wrong with these people

>>16424382
ah yes cbt

>>16426999
That's actually pretty smart.

>>16427700
mmm cutting liquid

>>16427668
its unironically in germany but i changed the filename to piss off some faggot swede

>>16425819
does it have to be the pink himalayan salt?

>>16426384
Woks are so fucking cool
>fry
>sauté
>sear
They literally do it all

>>16423727
Neat idea, but that shit will wear away so fast if used regularly.

>>16427729
It's water

>>16427700
>here's your pizza bro
>hope you enjoy picking bits of cardboard out of your teeth

>>16427700
great, now my pizza is cold and soaked

>>16428086
huh, I bet that would be pretty good

i miss buffets

just say when ok?

>>16424314
That will be 30 dollars please.

>>16424276
great, now I'm going to spend the whole night watching dancing bacons videos

>>16428200
That's going to cost way way MORE than 30 dollars.

>>16428633
This is how I realized Guy Fieri was the good guy. He was trying to show us the gold that was already present in our home towns. The pretentious vanity of these culinary shitterys is horrifying

>>16428629
How much do you think that monstrosity runs for?

>>16428633
>tfw know people who actually go there

>>16427850
That is a metal workshop so the water is likely full of silicate powder, I don't think he would take the time and effort cleaning and flushing the machine just to cut 1 pizza.

>>16428633
so are you supposed to lick the table like an animal or what

>>16427700
The last company I worked at that had a waterjet only cleaned the tank about once a year. That water was disgusting.

fuckin nipgooks freaks
two nukes wasnt enough

>>16428570
>hot dogs in a can
That's UK, you slimey limey.

>>16428839
those are chinks

>>16428591
That's german, retard.

>>16424802
Can you repeat the question?

>>16428935
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW

>>16428890
Not in America.

>>16424790
OCD makes you a degenerate

>>16428965
The opposite, actually. It's an excess of purity.

>>16427700
It's worth mentioning this cut a 7 slice pizza which is generally really fucking hard to do without shitting up some aspect of it.

>>16424380
If they don't want to act like civilized people then we'll treat them like animals.

>>16426999
You got this off Reddit

>>16427700
That water is full of small sand particulates, so the pizza might have some sand in it.

>>16423147
> would pay large sums of money to watch her shit that out
I should never visit Japan

>>16427761
Who is this? Why would he do something like that?

>>16426846
I've got $20 riding on Surly kicking the first goal

>>16428105
This is just a normal hotel continental breakfast

>>16428111
I'm guessing Japanese people don't have people who have to deal with having cracked out moms where you're lucky enough to get a PB & J thrown in a plastic baggy.

>>16427671
Woodfired stoves with the bottom of the wok in direct contact with the flame as it traveled toward the flue.

>>16429009
LA beast. He made his youtube fortune through terrible expired product challenges.

>>16428633
Is this the creation of a Myst puzzle?

>>16423270
That is so cool

>>16428633
>that'll be $325 plus tip

>>16429009
that's LA Beast. he does plenty of shit. chugging weird stuff, drinking 30 year old crystal pepsi, puking into his fathers car because of an argument. at least he has the world record on walking the longest distance on lego or some shit like that.

>>16423727
Most ocd thing I've ever seen

>>16428570
>>16428886
>>16428585
Pures leben is german so i take the show to be as well. That being said, 99% of stuff wrong with europe come from america or are americas fault so the name is still true.

>>16423270
who will add ghee?

>>16425856
Pandan cake is great but you don't need the extra butter, cheese, sugar, condensed sweet milk and whatever else on it. That's just for fatasses and not what Indonesian food is about at all.

>>16423270
kino
>>16429313
isnt the ghee optional for capati?

>>16424276
that is one bubbly apam balik

>>16428086
you expect me to touch that thing with my fingers?

>>16427113
mask as in a fucking gas mask
the kind you should wear when working with fine particulate in workshops

>>16428633
I would never eat in this restaurant.

>>16428570
>>16428585
>>16428591
>>16428598
>>16428605
>>16428618
>Look mom I posted it again! Americans are so fat and eat gross shit!!!

I know these threads are generally full of the same shit reposted over and over but at least try to post something original or interesting.

>>16423147
>camera tilts every 5 or so bites
shes puking it out in between

>>16424314
do you think its worth getting one of those for the buttplug?

>>16425834
out of all the atrocities in that clip, the shallow brine is the one that stands out to you?

>>16428119
>tasty beef
>spoiled by shitty rice grains sticking to it
digusting

>>16425819
What a stupid post.
I'm pretty sure they still haven't decommissioned a single F-22

>>16427671
Have you never seen an old-fashioned smithy?
wood/coal can get insanely hot if you feed enough air to it.
The incinerators in the KZ camps ran on coal.

>>16424382
she definitely does seem like a saucy bimbo

>>16426999
That... probably tasted really good after the charred stuff was removed, ngl.

>>16429796
wot is dat

>>16424302
>top 10 anime betrayals

>>16424310
Wtf did I just watch him make?

>>16424382
Wtf.

>>16428633
Eating chemicals that make liquids form into squares

>>16429620
As long as you keep being mad about it, then yes, I will be posting the same webms over and over.

>>16428764
Not only that but don't they usually mix some stuff to the water? To make cutting easier?

>>16427118
>>16429389
Why are you responding to a bot?

>>16423727
If those marks on the board are cut into it, a true OCD will end up spending hours trying to clean all the grooves. If the marks are just painted/burned/whatever onto the wood, the OCD will kill themself after the paints starts wearing away unevenly.

And as someone with OCD myself, the complete lack of symmetry of that board would drive me to distraction.

>>16426999
> toned arms
I came.

>>16427700
>are you tired of using a water jet to cut your pizza?
>UHHH IT'S SO FUCKING SLOW! 16 MINUTES?!
>GREAT NOW MY PIZZA IS SOGGY AND CONTAINS TOXIC PARTICULATES!
>IF ONLY THERE WAS A BETTER WAY!
>Hi! Billy Mayes here with: the pizza cutter! With it's patented circular blade, cutting your pizza is as easy as: one, two, three!

>>16429257
It’s like 300 PER PLATE

>>16428633
Every plate a painting

>>16426189
yes, now please take your meds and go to sleep

>>16424283
>literally just raw meat up to 3 cms

do americans really?

>>16429266
He holds multiple food related world records.

>>16430148
>Do Americans really?
Whenever you ask this question, no matter what it is in relation to, the answer is always "Yes". Why? Because we're fucking Americans, and we do whatever we want. Make impractically big burgers? Eat raw beef? Go to the Moon? Win every world war? Have the only culture worth talking about in the entire world?

You're god damn right we really do. Because we're American, and you aren't. And that just pisses you off.

>>16429796
Disgusting

>>16430175
Thanks for the joke anon.
Enjoy your number 1 world record obesity, diabetes, early death due to heart complications.

I wish I could die an early death of heart attack with a BMI of 60+ and be as cool as you guys.

>>16430148
I mean, mett is delicious.

>>16430197
you are delicious

>>16430195
There's more fat people in America than there is people in the UK, but then there's the other 100 billion Americans who are just regular ass people. Its like saying all of the UK is fat at retarded because of norf footy fans.

>>16430208
Mexican street shit like this is actually decent, if they were served in 1/4 of the size. It just gets soggy and no one, except the real fatties, finishes them.

>>16430227
Nah it's all trash and is why Mexico is the fattest country there is.

>>16430249
Wonder what Gordon Ramsay thinks of Mexican slop snacks?

>>16430249
Actually the most obese countries are pacific island nations and Mexico ranks far lower than the US. Now Mexican Americans outrank, per capita, blacks and whites.

>>16430205
>We have more population

Is this how you cope?
Yeah no shit, that's how percentages work. Meanwhile USA has a staggering 36.2% of adults with obesity (not even going for BMIs, just amount of obese people), while the UK has 27.8, which is a fucking lot yeah.

The problem is you US faggots are always proud of being retarded, with your huge burgers and bacon and freedom and guns that literally no one else gives a shit about, while meanwhile you are dying inside.

I'm not joking when every other country looks at America and laughs. You just don't understand they are laughing at you, and not with you.

Also, stop projecting that everyone that complains about US is from the UK. I'm from Portugal, we have 20.8% adult population with obesity, nearly half of the US.

>>16430092
That kitchen is disgusting holy shit.

>>16430405
where is this from?

>>16430306
Half of 36.2 is 18.1. Also the obesity rate of Portugal as of 2016 was 22.3% according to WHO criteria.

>>16430459
Great deflecting

>Half of 36.2 is 18.1.
Great math skills, proud of you.
Except I said that Portugal had NEARLY half of US's obesity rate in adults, not LITERALLY half.
Yes there is a 2.7 % differential. You did it.

>nu-huh portugal is actually 22.3% fat

I took my data from worldpopulationreview, but even if you want to be pedantic, let's use your number of 22.3% even though its from 2016 (lmao).

This would mean that the US has 9.9% more obese adults in comparison to Portugal, which means Portugal has 61.6% of the obesity rate of the US.

But I'm glad you didn't address any of the important issues, which is very expected.

Portugal is a shithole. I'm not going to defend it, there's nothing special here. I was just saying that not everyone that mentions that America is a shitshow is from the UK.

Which is true. Literally the whole world mocks you because of this:
>>16430175

Now please let's get back to the funny webms, I don't want to sperg more, this is tiring.

>>16430539
>Now please let's get back to the funny webms, I don't want to sperg more, this is tiring.

Don't start shit you won't finish, faggot. Know your place next time.

>>16430541
>>16429796
>union jack wallet
Did the bits take all of their large spoons and memory wipe the poos?

>>16430541
There's nothing to finish, I called out Americans for being disgusting and they never actually provided a counter arguments, they just said "no no, your stats are wrong by 2%".

>>16427755
That's me

>>16426846
>the way he extends his nonexistent arms

>>16430570
>makes every drug on the planet legal because they are the niggers of Spain
do poortuguese really?

>>16429016
hope he doesn't dissapoint
20 minutes or so till we embark on our 10 year anniversaryx cup journey!

>>16430405
>anxiety: the webm

>>16428998
not as much sand as your vagina, lmao gott'em!

>>16424890
Absolutely vile. I think I just suffered a stroke from all the rage I feel.

>>16428086
awful fucking fries

>>16423147
why do they never stand up and show their fucking fat distended bellies after they do these kinds of things

>>16428111
so how do nip kids warm their shit up, just nuke it at school?

>>16431014
They eat it as-is or have a parent bring it in at lunch.
If they did nuke it they'd probably not call it that either.

>>16424283
why are his hands so fucking feminine

>>16430306
Rich successful countries living rent free in European third world heads it seems. Portugal is never given a second thought or scrutinised by foreigners for a reason.

>>16428105
I don't see why that's apparently video worthy. I spent a month in a hotel recently and got that shit for free every morning

>>16430405
How is it even possible to be that bad? I could cut veggies as a literal child without problems

>>16423727
is this nigga really using a plastic kitchen knife?

>>16424380
Hello i hate women

>>16428570
>>16428585
what a disgusting bitch, i genuinely hope she is dead right now

>>16431062
>>16430725

Literally the same as the previous American.
>lets disregard what he said about us and just call him poor instead, that will show him

You are incapable of providing counter arguments, you just insult the other party to attempt to silence them.

You fall for this shit every time, its incredible.

>>16427761
someone post him chugging the liquified pizza

>>16431078
Look at the skin color, that hotel stay was likely the most luxurious experience of his life.

>>16424382
wish she worked at my local, could get destroyed after 3 drinks

>>16431155
Face it. He blew you the fuck out.

>>16428694
Well said

>>16428125
STOOOOOPPPPPPP

>>16429796
Everyone looks miserable in this vid

>>16426189
unless you fucked up most deep fried meats are cooked through by the time the batter browns

>>16427700
this is like 1/8 the speed of an average guido with a pizza cutter (at best)

>>16431155
HA! POOR!

>>16431178
Holy shit I hope this is bait because you have to be retarded otherwise

I literally said before:
> Portugal is a shithole.
>>16430539

It doesn't matter where the criticism comes from because it's true. That's the point.
I could be in Uganda and still have this argument be valid.

>>16430898

>>16431155
>>16430539
Bro, you have to understand that nobody in America cares if Europeans or foreigners laugh at us or think they're better than us. We look at your countries with similar disdain for entirely different reasons. Yes, public health is a disaster in the United States, but we pride ourselves that our gov't doesn't treat us like children and doesn't intervene in our domestic affairs like they do in other developed nations. For an American, it's on themselves to be healthy and protect themselves, without a nanny state lording over us. Our constitution is the only in the world based on the premise that natural persons possess rights that are issued from God himself, and the gov't only exists to protect those freedoms, not to push for social change or correct societal problems. That is something that Europeans living under monarchies and tyrannical regimes can never understand.

>>16428096
I'm more horrified by her shitty nosejob than the amount of food.

>>16428633
as gay as this is, creating a chilled solid custard that forms after putting some freeze dried cake next to it and then bruleeing it is a pretty cool idea and if you put it on a plate it would be kino

>>16431160
I don't think I've seen that one.

>>16431253
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XyR5bp81S4

>>16430987
They are not sick in the head like you, you fucking pathetic incel

>>16431253
What is he eating?

>>16431365
A Christmas Advent calendar.

>>16431344
what a great way to end that mans lore. Surprised he didnt end up dead

>>16431253
that adjudicator makes me kek every time imagine working for that fucking joke of a brand and taking it so seriously

>>16431244

>>16428119
FAR LEFT AT BEGINNING IS CUTE

It's taken thousands of years, but we finally have the technology.

>>16423727
I guarantee you 100% of people who buy this are white.

>>16426999
I used to use a knife to scrape off burnt parts of toast

>>16428111
fyi you don't need those horizontal cuts when dicing an onion.

>>16430170
The better way to measure how much syrup is still in there is just take like 100ml of water and wash it out,

>>16430541
These people are so poor and uneducated, they don't know about shit like germs. So if the food doesn't taste off, they're fine with it.

>>16431637
so you have an idea of how delicious that pizza probably tasted

>>16426999
Dose this work on burnt toast?

>>16431683
yeah you can just scrape it with a knife or any utensil you have

>>16431679
Considering it was probably a premade frozen pizza, probably not that much.

>>16423169
women know what theyre doing with stuff like this

>>16424382
I got drunk just watching this

>>16431621
Nah, Japanese would also be perfectionist enough to use this as well.

>>16430987
I fucking know, right

>>16431871

>>16431873
Japan was a mistake.

>>16431812
>Considering it was probably a premade frozen pizza, probably not that much.
I know, but in my headcanon I'm making the artistic choice that it was something maybe home made using decent ingredients.

>>16431360
ESL. Try again once you learn the language, nigger.

>>16430034
>ugh BOTS
KILL YOURSELF REDDIT FAGGOT

>>16431639
"How did I get colon cancer? Must be all this fracking and global warming"

>>16430249
Can someone explain to me what the hell I'm looking at? Genuinely curious...

>>16431882
look up timpano based retard

>>16432217
Look up my dick, weeb.

>>16427850
cursed water, yeah

>>16432211
based

>>16429728
>>camera tilts every 5 or so bites
>shes puking it out in between
she eats a normal amount on video and it's getting thrown in the trash every cut

>>16424790
>ACTUAL OCD
can confirm
just watching the video is pissing me off

>>16424879
>>16426138
>>16427166
>>16427661
>>16428935

>>16432211
I wish I had the balls to kick that dude in the spine.

>>16429781
Manufactured garloids were the downfall of America. You never see good old fashioned home grown garloids anymore.

>>16432211
every time i watch this i can't help but think this is jeff goldblum

>>16432123
finally a use for my ass molds

>>16432435
>ah, yes, this soup, is, uh, wow that's really something there!

>>16430092
Video sauce?

>>16432448
>1 cup of mayonnaise
>1/2 cup of sugar
It's no wonder she's american sized.

>>16423147
>tfw no Canadian gf to cook for

>>16432448
Before the mayo and sugar, thing's were doing okay...

>>16429781
why is one of the stomachs so much longer than the others

>>16427381
what game is this?

>>16432123
I'd rather have the real thing desu

>>16427700
What kind of shitty water jet takes 16 minutes to cut that?

>>16429044
also lost his balls to roids

>>16433140
You're thinking of Furious Pete.

>>16432228
based af

>>16433153
hmm
always thought there was only one

>>16433173
One guy who eats a lot of shit on youtube? You might be retarded.

>>16424283
ITS FOOOKKN RAW!!!!

>>16424890
looks good 8/10 would eat

>>16430148
Im not sure Id consider Jack to be a human bean at this point

>>16433285
idk, maybe. definitely leans on the bean side though

>>16432951
gay

>>16424276
i know it's not dosa, but i still can't stand him adding cheese to that.

>>16433285
Partially a human bean. Another stroke and he'll definitely become a veggie

>>16428570
holy fucking fuck

>>16433435
you're visualizing that as a man's gelatin ass, that's pretty gay

>>16429796
Why the fuck can't indians use utensils? Why the fuck can they not just use a fucking spoon or a stick or a goddamn fork? These implements have been created and used in literally every single society on the fucking planet since a thousand years ago why the fuck do they need to use their filthy fucking hands for literally every goddamn fucking second of food prep and serving and eating? Why?

>>16428570
do americans actually?

>>16424382
she must have been taking a swig between each camera cut

>>16433556
There's nothing wrong with just cooking with your hands
the problem lies in the fact that they don't fucking wash their god damn hands after finger fucking their assholes so all their food has shit in it

>>16425819
heh

>>16431873
2 bombe non sono bastate

>>16431506
Comfy ad

>>16431244
>we pride ourselves that our gov't doesn't treat us like children
>muh constitution

You really think you still have the freedoms described in that thing when it was written?
You're in exactly the same boat as the rest of us, you dumb fuck.

>>16431414
I know! There's another one, I think he's drinking soy sauce or chocolate syrup or something, where the woman timing him is a hot chick in a business suit.
If I passed her on the street I'd assume she was some hotshot lawyer or something, but no; she's actually on her way to her job of holding a stopwatch while a surferbro chugs a bottle of something gross as fast as he can.
No disrespect to LA Beast intended.

>>16430987
I desperately what to see them do this.

>>16432780
Some of them seem to have snapped and needed to be put back on.

>>16431078
>I don't see why that's apparently video worthy
Look at his skin color again.

>>16430987
>>16433974
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V9ORn3YGIA
>Kinoshita
I bet she is.

>>16431873
>going to all this effort
>still using jarred tomato sauce

>>16429977
Party cheese salad, retard

>>16428125
>when you experience your whole life through the display of your smartphone

Pretty sad desu

>>16428125

>>16424314
>nigga SMOKES your drink for you
>uses a fucking eyedropper
>serves you your drink in a badass saucer
>cigar, COMPED
If you don't tip him the Yakuza should buck break you in front of the whole bar

>>16428633
>that frozen creme brulee/custard thing
Could be cool if it wasn't surrounded by a field of pretentious sugar crumbs and shit splatter

>>16433556
>used in literally every single society on the fucking planet since a thousand years ago
ACKSHUALLY they weren't popular even among the nobility until the time of Henry II, and commoners didn't adopt eating utensils until like the 18th century. Meanwhile, chinks and nips had been using chopsticks 5evar

>>16427118
>one little scratch on her face
>my face is disfigured!!!
Uhm sweety how can you be such a savage that you eat a live octopus, but yet be such a pussy that you freak out over a scratch

>>16429019
Look up what a continental breakfast is, dipshit

>>16428598
:[

>>16428762
nah just look at it

>>16432911
fifa

>>16431862
I think that once your fingers get to be a certain width you should be banned from producing any type of food-related content.

>>16429753
idiot

>>16428591

>>16432228
Give me a sec to set it up first

>>16434022
goddamn that's hot

>>16431132
My mom had a set of those from Ikea, it's a plastic handle, most of the "blade" is ceramic, and the edge is cheap steel

>>16434629
also based

>>16430405
women are so retarded goddamn

>>16424380
That was pretty hot ngl.

>>16433861
è abbastanza vergognoso effettivamente

>>16434789
>women

>>16424380
kill women

>>16434757
I have so much hate for this faggot. I mean he is positive and all, but you could feed him a fucking turd that lay festering in the sun all day and was shat out by an AIDS infested 50 year old whore, and he would STILL have that FUCKING annoying HMMMMMMMMM look on his fucking face.

>>16424875
Jannies will eat this...

>>16434937
I'm a tranny , I don't if that matters by the way

>>16430249
80% of the cost was the labor for her to daintily spread the Doritos around with a thongs.
She could've just poured the bag in and saved the buyer money.

>>16432435
>>16432468
lost

>>16432326
I wish I had the balls to join him. Imagine, like, 3-4 complete strangers just started doing this at the same time.

>>16424382
>0:18
ah yes, a little bit of nothingness, that's exactly what my drink needs.

>>16430448
Lydia from the Yogscast
She isn't ignorant of her incompetence, and let the women who can into kitchen after finally getting that one cut.

>>16428570
Der Arische Übermensch

>>16430249

literally prison food

>>16434106
I'm a continental breakfast connoisseur and this passes. What do you think its missing?

>>16432123
Yes I eat ass, how can you tell

>>16431180
>rape seed oil
what kind of seed oil?

>>16431873
that's not lasagna it is timpano

>>16432211
sigma male