/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16414705
Molecular gastronomy.

Played out excuse to charge more for gimmicky nonsense. I remember on that old same Hyde video where he was roasting the 3 under 30 nonsense some guy was going on about how inspired he was by el bulli in Spain because “they’re molecular gastronomists” and six months out of the year they’re “in the lab”.

Here’s the vid: 3:05 for the time stamp. This guy is the proto redditor


https://youtu.be/l2Y_swmkPkE

Italian futuristic cooking. It's utterly bizarre

bacon and nutella on everything

>>16414744
love that memory

>>16414705
mostly gay meme phrases like, umami, 'farm to table', 'gluten' etc

>>16414705
Serving food on something thats not a plate

>>16414744
Which I'm sceptical of gastronomy, the absolutely insane acceleration of technique over the past 20 years is a result of the overly technical forefront, even when gastronomy is not required
>>16414908
The only time I've ever experienced this is fries in a small deep rfy basket. Is it really that common

>>16414705
>STARTER PACKS XD

It's probably not the worst fad ever, but I hate communal dining. I lived in Chicago a few years ago when EVERY new restaurant meant you had to be shoulder to shoulder with strangers watching you eat and listening to your conversation.

>>16415241
post your reddit folder

>>16414705
The ongoing IPA fad. The beer isle is like 80% IPA now

nutritional facts

>>16414744
>complains about people who have good parents
>parents spend 250,000 dollars to get him into art school

oh sammy

>>16415417

>>16415426
I had a regular old pale ale in the pub the other day by mistake. It was so refreshing to drink a beer with a rational amount of hops. I'd forgotten what it was like to taste hops without it tasting like potpourri. I can't fucking wait for this dogshit trend to die.

>>16415294
oh this shit too, christ

>>16415207

In high end/fine dining. Most of what you're paying for at places like Alchemist is the weird artsy antiplating they choose to use (serving in lamb skulls or from dismembered udders) I think its cool but it's definitely a pretentious fad.

>>16414821
this and avacado toast

>>16415815
>Avocado on toast
I've been eating Avocado on toast since I first started on solids, I'm 32 now.

>>16415426
i like all kinds of beer, even some IPAs, but holy fuck is the craft beer market out of fucking control.
What they're doing with IPAs is bad, but what i hate more than that is the wacky flavored dessert beers catered to manchildren. peanut butter soy latte stout, guava fruit punch IPA, kombucha ginger lemon lambic farmhouse super sour wild ale just fucking kill me.
The kicker is, i don't even mind flavored beer. I've had raspberry beers and tres leches milk stouts that were phenomenal. They just shouldnt take up 75% of the fucking market.

>>16414705
Soy

>>16415426
Amen. It's hard to find a damned 'variety' pack now that isn't just different flavors of IPA. Man I miss the pre-IPA variety in beers.

>>16415815
Avocado Toast was just a common South Western meal that idiotic flyovers couldn't get a grasp on because they're unable to understand other people doing things they don't.

>>16414705
Watercake
>literally bland water + agar
>not even a cake
>literally a scam
>"EHRMAHGERD IT LOOKS SO COOL"
instagram kids are so much fucking idiots and are a mistake, and the cringe from the weebs are fucking annoying.
Shit, if even they want to make it properly they should have made it with konjac.

>>16414908
Thoughts on bowls?

>>16415815
>avacado toast
Nah, it's pretty damn good

>>16414705
>>Carbonara?
>Eggs cost too much, let's use a whole brick of cream per egg to garnish the pasta instead.
It's this a bait?
There's no cream in Carbonara

>>16417362
Read the whole thing, you might figure out the context.

>>16414705
Tang Dynasty's victory meal

>>16415815
Avocado toast is great as long as you make it yourself rather than paying some faggot 20 bucks to make it for you

>>16417362
carbonara is whatever you want it to be

>>16415744
the depictions somehow still manage to make the 4chan user more likable

>>16414705
Beef, fucking sucks compared to mutton or goat. Fuck whoever decided to start that shit.

>>16414705
Mutton, fucking sucks compared to beef or pork. Fuck whoever decided to start that shit

>>16414705
I hate avocado toast because it actually affected me. Now I have to go to ethnic stores where they can't get away with charging white prices. I also hate that brisket got popular some time ago and subsequently started getting expensive, same with chicken wings and oxtails.

Chicken, fucking sucks compared to nearly every other meat. Fuck whoever decided to start that shit

>>16414705
Poutine as more than just fry-truck fare. Yes, curds are great. Yes, they're great on fries, and yes, with a well-made gravy, you can't really go wrong. No, it's not exactly disco fries, but yes, it is a very similar concept. No, it's not worth getting mad over.
>t. Tabarnacker.

also... brick of cream? I've never thought to build things out of the cartons.

>>16415775
It'll never go away, especially seeing as it's a quick way to mark up the price. It is kind of nice to see some of the local guys stick to one or two IPAs and round out the arsenal with some cream ales, kolsches and such.

>>16417353
Food goes in a bowl, not on it.

>>16418228
Unless you're doing a photoshoot of soup with a large garnish. Small bowl goes upside down in big bowl, soup goes in to barely cover small bowl, giant piece of whatever "floats" on the small bowl. If it's all edible, and the shoot lasts for less than 2h, someone eats it.
>t. Tabarnacker who works on commercial shoots.

>>16418244
Wtf is a tabarnacker

>>16418249
Quebecois. I commented about poutine, and now I'm trying to entertain myself by making it a running gag... It is not working.

>>16418251
It really isn't

>>16418253
Get out of my head, Charles.

>>16414705
Fazolis. Absolutely fazolis. there is a reason they went out of business. people only went there because DURRR PIZZA AND BREADSTICKS AND ITALIAN FAST FOOD (REDDIT MOMENT)

>>16418249
french for "fucker" if my annoying canadaphile friend is anything to go by

>>16418404
Sorry chef, I forgot, no smiling on the line.

Honestly, beer as a whole. I'm still convinced no one actually likes this shit. I'm aware people have different tastes and my favorite food is probably someone's least favorite, but beer is objectively ass. I'd say it tastes like liquid cardboard, but you could probably blend cardboard with seltzer and it would taste better. I can only drink sours and lambics, and I only know of them because my beer-obsessed friends have taken me to a million taprooms, insisting I "find what I like" so we can actually enjoy going to bars together. Every time someone takes me to a beer-only """""bar""""" it's pure fucking suffering. Thank god for bar food.
On that note, why do people put beer in every fucking thing? "Beer cheese" tastes identical to normal cheese. If you want it to stay liquid at room temperature, add some fucking milk and emulsifying salts for god's sake.

>>16414705
keto and gluten free

>>16417589
No, a carbonara is not whatever you want it to be, you dumb piece of shit. Carbonara is pasta, egg yolk, pecorino or parmesano, guanciale or pancetta, salt and pepper. Anything more or less than that is a bastardized version of the real deal. You want to prostitute a dish? fine, go and do it with a burger

>>16418407
not dissing you bro, I have an irl friend who sucks canada's dick every chance he gets. how do I talk him out of moving to quebec?

>>16418421
I didn't like beer when I was 12 either

>>16418433
reddit moment

>>16418435
Let him know that it's a hard fucking go here. I work like five jobs freelance because everyone keeps screwing me around when I sign on full time. I speak three languages and I was born here - only in the last three years have I started making enough to get by. The cities are grey shitholes with no planning and hyperaggressive traffic, and the villages are so xenophobic that I get refused service for being a ginger.

I've never heard Tabarnacker used as fucker... usually that's just 'Fucker'

>>16418421
Sours and Lambics are really hit-or-miss for me. Sometimes they're fairly well balanced, and just a bit tart. Other times they taste like something went horribly wrong, and someone stamped "Versez ce vinaigre dans une bouteille et vendez-le aux Anglais." on the test sheet.

>>16418404
>canadaphile
huh, that's a new one

This is what you get when an entire country can't cook and refuses to learn how to do it properly.

They follow the advice of a woman who can't cook either (Marcella Hagan) but claims she prepares "the scents of her youth" for her Jewish husband.

An absolute abomination.

>>16418421
People have been drinking beer for thousands of years anon. I think you're just going to have a stick it out

>>16414903
>gluten
???

>>16418535
foliophile?

>>16418423
Except keto isn't a fad retard. Literally been around since 1800s and likely was closer to our original diet than what we eat now.

>>16415831
>>16415946
>>16417360
>>16417584
Do you retards not understand what a fad is? You can do things yourself at home, but it becomes a fad when people start trying to market it to everyone temporarily and charge out the ass for it.

>>16418421
I used to "like" beers and ales when i was a 16 year old pretending to be some sort of connoisseur, which i continued to do over the years with whiskey.
I've now swapped almost entirely to drinking cider because i realised i was kidding myself and beer tastes like shit.

>>16419415
I'm slightly concerned that you lied to yourself for so long. I drink beer because I enjoy it, but if you don't then don't listen to the closet cases calling you a fag while they check your ass.

>>16414705
It's a relatively new fad, but one I deeply despise:
The shift to valuing form over function.
This includes but is not limited to:
Nasty ass food that looks food #doitforthegram
Making the sauces spill out of any Fingerfood for aesthetics
Sticking candy, sauces and other shit to the outside and rim of sweet drinks to the point where you can't hold it without getting your hands sticky
"Gif recipe" recipes of foods that look gimmicky or tasty but are boring in texture or taste in reality

Basically a lot of food markets itself these days via media (influencers, video, Images, articles) and as a result aesthetics and sensationalism are the primary focus since these can easily be pls in any audiovisual medium these are the most important. Taste comes second.

>>16418269
Fazolis was based. I wish they were the most poular Italian chain rather than shitty Olive Garden.

>>16419435
We all do stupid shit when we're teenagers because we think it's cool, including drinking 9% russian beer because we think it makes you unique.
A cold beer on a hot day has its place, but if i'm drinking more than 3 pints then i'd much prefer cider.

>>16419593
I do stupid shit now because I think it's funny and I got big enough in my early 20's that I can get away with just about anything now. I'm not particularly fond of cosmopolitans, but I'll order one at the bar with the guys just to watch them squirm.

>>16419660
>I'm not particularly fond of cosmopolitans, but I'll order one at the bar with the guys just to watch them squirm.
They sound like fags for squirming, and you sound like a fag for ordering it to make a statement.

>>16419740
Sometimes it gets me free drinks, sometimes I get to have a good chat with the bartender... the worst part about it is having a sweet drink, which really isn't terrible, just not my usual cup of liquor.

>>16419366
Literally everyone I know has been eating Avocado on toast since they were kids though.

>>16414810

Holy shit you weren't joking.

>Tactile Dinner: A multi-course meal featured in Marinetti's The Futurist Cookbook. Pajamas have been prepared for the dinner, each one covered with a different material such as sponge, cork, sandpaper, or felt. As the guests arrive, each puts on a pair of the pajamas. Once all have arrived and are dressed in pajamas, they are taken to an unlit, empty room. Without being able to see, each guest chooses a dinner partner according to their tactile impression. The guests then enter the dining room, which consists of tables for two, and discover the partner they have selected.

>The meal begins. The first course is a 'polyrhythmic salad,' which consists of a box containing a bowl of undressed lettuce leaves, dates and grapes. The box has a crank on the left side. Without using cutlery, the guests eat with their right hand while turning the crank with their left. This produces music to which the waiters dance until the course is finished.

>The second course is 'magic food', which is served in small bowls covered with tactile materials. The bowl is held in the left hand while the right picks out balls made of caramel and filled with different ingredients such as dried fruits, raw meat, garlic, mashed banana, chocolate, or pepper. The guests cannot guess what flavor they will encounter next.

>The third course is 'tactile vegetable garden,' which is a plate of cooked and raw green vegetables without dressing. The guest eats the vegetables without the use of their hands, instead burying their face in the plate of vegetables, feeling the sensation of the greens on their face and lips. Each time a guest raises their head to chew, the waiters spray their face with perfume.

This reads like a shitpost. What the fucking fuck.

>>16415426
Same. Fucking hate IPA's.

>>16418165
Humble cuts are laughably overpriced. Had to stop using them. Sucks.

>>16419522
>taste comes second
That's what the real disaster is/has become.

>>16419937
Marinetti had the 'tism so it reading like a shitpost is to be expected

>>16415426
Jesus Christ this. I'd strangle one of these microbrew faggots if it got the survivors to make a fucking proper wheat beer for once

>>16418590
people have been eating bread for 4000 years or whatever. i refuse to acknowledge gluten being some kind of problem like every faggot believes

>>16420068
we process the wheat differently now and consume it in much greater quantities

>>16419915
There's a big wide world outside of your hometown

>>16419937
It sounds like something the CIA would come up to torture people without breaking international law kek
Or alternatively some mkultra shit

deconstructed food makes me so angry
also any food i accidentally screw up while cooking

>>16418165
Fuckin A man.
Wanting to make some classic oxtail ragu recently and the prices on that shit have gotten ridiculous now that every hipster learned about them.

>>16419937
Holy shit. Its like some greentext.

>>16415426
yep. its completely revolting. I just want to drink an old fashioned beer, what the fuck is wrong with these weirdos.

>>16415426
Those dastardly hopmen

>>16418433
I made a really nice carbonara sandwich the other day. I used a wrap as the pasta and filled it with a creamed bacon egg salad with some Kraft powdered parmesan. It was delicious.. God bless America and God bless real Italian food

>>16418780
You're retarded. Our original diet was what ever the fuck we could find. And once our dumb monkey brains realized plants were easy to manipulate and reproduce then we started manipulating animals. We evolved as opportunistic omnivores. Which meant a lot of nuts and grains and seasonal fruit and vegetables and fish, bugs and other meat when we found them

>>16415426
At least IPAs can taste good and they don't necessarily need to be overpowered with a bazillion hops.
However, the amount of hibiscus-yuzu-greentea sours, melon sea-salt, peanut butter, chocolate infusions and other random crap thrown into beer needs to go away.

>>16419937
We already know all Italians are autistic, what's your point?

>>16420325
As if those things need to be separate.

>>16418212
What would you recommend? Like, what does the average Quebecois eat?
>t. Ontaricuck

>>16420317
abject retard humans are the animal kingdoms greatest hunters

>>16420332
There's a reason the Germans had a beer purity law. This is it.

>>16420332
holy shit I've never seen anything even close to being this ridiculous and i hang out with beer snobs

I don't think it's the worst but aioli is pretty bad to me in terms of a fad. People got turned off from mayo. Working in the kitchen, 90% of the time it was never true aioli. It was just sriracha or some season plus that huge restaurant depot gallon mayo jar. It is just annoying to see so constantly. Not saying it's not good, but just fakery that turns me off. Just fucking say sriracha mayo instead of aioli.

>>16415744
>Community college dropout; literally addicted to masturbation
I love how these are one line, as if it's a well known fact that community college dropouts are the worst coomers of all.

Fuck this le quirky round circle glasses shitfuck drink

>>16420334
Food. I think we've got more deli's, and I like most of what I've had out of our local beers at the dep (convenience store) better than everything local in Ontario except for one brewery in Kingston... maybe Stone City? That sounds about right.

Meat, potatoes, green veggies, meat and potatoes in a pie, the occasional bit of game meat with or without a pie... we eat a lot of curry and chinese. If you're looking for a recommendation on something more traditionally Quebecois, there's always cipâtes/cipailles/spout/six-pailles/sea-pie. It might be English in origin, but there are a million variations (some are fish, some are meat, some have a top crust, some are more stew with crust dumplings) and they're all good. If someone makes you a crappy spout, it's because they hate you more than they love their heritage.

>>16420334
>>16420546
And before anyone tells you that it's never made with fish. Seapie absolutely is, at least in/around Gaspé. Six-pailles/cipailles, etc. are not - usually pork and venison/moose with rabbit or beef. Unfortunately, they're pronounced exactly the same way.

>>16420546
>>16420588
Merci. It's on the list. I was trying to visit Montreal for the first time (me being new to this overpriced festering shithole that is Toronto), but the pandemic fucked it all up.

What's the bread situation like, btw? I have friends in France who have access to baguette vending machines. Yet here in Ontario, most bread is baked out of the store and thus sucks massive balls. Either that, or they're just selling presliced Wonderbread-like crap.
Also, how come you're not more liberal when it comes to alcohol compared to France? You still have the SAQ and wine prices are still up there compared to France... how does one cook with wine in Quebec if it's all so expensive?

>>16420618
I've never seen vending machines. Definitely bakeries around, but there are always bakeries around. We've got a chain called Adonis that spread out your way - the pitas are made in store, day of - they sell out by like noon - they're chewy. I'd never had a chewy pita before I found these guys.
If we want to cook with wine, we cook with wine, but usually nothing fancy. It's usually vinho verde for me because it's cheap and I just think it's kind of neat. I've seen a lot of people cook with beer, spirits... a lot of stock. The first restaurant I worked at, the chef used to offer us leftover stock. I don't know how true it is, but he'd always tell us "You can tell who knows how to cook in this city - they've got a tub of congealed stock in their fridge, and another one in their freezer ready to go."

>>16420690
Oh shit, I do have an Adonis close by! Will give them a shot, thanks!
>It's usually vinho verde for me
Vihno verde, huh... seems cheap at my local LCBO as well. Oddly enough, I met a Portugese guy during a streetcar commute, he complained about wine being $10 here, while he can get it for $3 in Lisbon.
>they've got a tub of congealed stock in their fridge, and another one in their freezer ready to go
Once I get a bigger place (hopefully away from this hellhole), I'll do my best to get a proper freezer because I did make stock a few times. Will try making demi-glace at some point in my life even if it kills me.

>>16420728
Your first batch of demiglace might look off, especially if you don't have a fine china cap (sieve/strainer), but if everything tastes good every step of the way, it's going to taste great. I do recommend a sprig or two of rosemary in with the aromatics, and a splash of vinegar (or the dregs of a bottle of the same general kind of wine you're using to make the demiglace) - they really liven it up... It has been a really long time since I made demiglace. Now you've got me building nonsense meals in my head just so I'd have an excuse to make some. I'm going to go to sleep before I start cooking. Bonsoir et bon appétit?

>>16419937
>instead burying their face in the plate of vegetables,
There's no fucking way this is real.
>just bury your fucking head like a pig in a trough, when you come back up for air choke on some fucking perfume instead
This is a pasta, this has to be. There is no way someone actually thought of this and manages to run a restaurant like this. The waiters themselves should fucking rebel.

>>16420068
Yeah but the way the grains are processed and baked into bread have changed. If you mill your own damn flour then go on ahead but the modern diet is bad on various aspects of a mans health, especially his jaw/teeth.

>>16414705
All of this reads like what some zoomer might imagine the 80s to be like. Eat cream dumbass .

>>16419937
calm down everyone, if you look up the source material it's just one big shitpost
none of this happened

>>16418421
I like fermented foods and I cook with soy sauce. I like bitter herbs and that's what hops are. Cooking with beer seems fine to me.

I don't drink beer often only because I want to get intoxicated before I have a full stomach.

>>16419937
That's sound more like a gay nightclub than a restaurant.