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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 261 KB, 1400x1161, khlav-kalash-the-simpsons.0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405210 No.16405210 [Reply] [Original]

Alright guys get in here, we're making khlav kalash!

>> No.16405221
File: 691 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1832.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405221

First organize your ingredients.

You will need:
>minced meat of choice (I'm going with a mix of beef and pork)
>thinly sliced meat, beef or lamb
>breadcrumbs or ground chickpeas
>an egg
>2-3 cloves of garlic
>3 tablespoons of lemon juice
>Mediterranean or Middle Easter spice blend of choice. I'm going with a Harissa blend, which is heavy on parika, mint, and cumin
>cooking oil
>wooden skewers or sticks. I'm using choppastik today because I have a surplus

>> No.16405225
File: 800 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1837.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405225

Mix everything together. Don't skimp on the Harissa, you can't really have too much.

>> No.16405229
File: 530 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1842.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405229

Once it's well incorporated let it sit at least an hour, and up to overnight

>> No.16405235
File: 529 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1843.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405235

When the kalash has set, get your oil heating up. you'll want about an inch of oil on medium or medium-low heat

>> No.16405238
File: 631 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1847.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405238

Form some nice kalash balls (kalashnikovs). Don't pack them too tight.

>> No.16405240
File: 571 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1848.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405240

The oil is ready when you get light, fine bubbling when you dip a stick in to test

>> No.16405245
File: 790 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1849.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405245

kalash, in

>> No.16405249
File: 827 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1851.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405249

If your temperature is right, it takes about 10 mins to cook through, turning them about halfway

>> No.16405251
File: 528 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1857.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405251

Once cooked through, set on paper towels to absorb excess oil. Carefully insert your skewer - they will be good and firm once cooked and will travel well as a street food

>> No.16405255
File: 671 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1863.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405255

Plate with extra lemon slices and a healthy dusting of Harissa.

Goes great with garlic sauce or a minty tzatziki

>> No.16405261
File: 589 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP1868.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405261

Don't forget to serve with cold Mountain Dew or Clam Juice

>> No.16405267

You've successfully created a dish of human shit. Thanks, OP.

>> No.16405273

>>16405267
You shut the fuck up.

Thanks for the original content, OP. That looks pretty good.

>> No.16405274

I appreciate your effort and creativity.

>> No.16405276

>>16405267
Actually it's minced meat, sliced meat, breadcrumbs or chickpeas, an egg, garlic, lemon juice, spices and oil.

I don't know where you got human feces from this, but maybe you should be washing your hands before you cook.

>> No.16405281

>no results from google search
you have blessed us, OP. Looks real tasty, but now you have to make the crab juice

>> No.16405283

are you fucking kidding me

>> No.16405287

>>16405281
Crab juice recipe.
Ingredients

1x Crab

Method

Take crab.
Squeeze.

>> No.16405289

>>16405267
God forbid someone makes OC and not shill garbage fast food like the many threads up right now faggot

>> No.16405291

>>16405273
>>16405274
>>16405276
>>16405281
I just regret forgetting the tzatziki, would have been 10/10 with a cool dipping sauce

>> No.16405295
File: 54 KB, 300x300, img-thing.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405295

>>16405283
no

>> No.16405298

>>16405289
Meow

>> No.16405306

>>16405291
The show makes it look it's covered in some brown sauce, but the combination of meat strips with ground meat produces a similar effect.

>> No.16405309
File: 25 KB, 500x378, tumblr_m7fuk3FcH91rzn04ho1_500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405309

>>16405306
it always looked like meat shreds to me but it's hard to tell

>> No.16405313

>>16405210
9/10 thread OP, nice work

>> No.16405327
File: 476 KB, 2048x1362, IMGP0796.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405327

>>16405313
What could I have improved on? I was going to feature Pepe with a turban but it was kind of messy and I was concerned about letting him play near the hot oil, so I let him watch from his perch on top of the refrigerator

>> No.16405340

>>16405210
Thanks for sharing, OP

>> No.16405953

ßump

>> No.16405963

>>16405210
Well worth the wait, looks great OP. Thanks for sharing.

>> No.16405981
File: 43 KB, 625x469, crabjuice.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405981

>>16405261
Crab juice, dude. How could you fuck up the dismount like that?

>> No.16405982

Formerly pizza

>> No.16405985

>>16405327
Oh it's you. I like your posting, keep it up

>> No.16405990 [DELETED] 

>>16405267
Shut the fuck up you retarded faggot

>> No.16405994

>they don't watch sarcasmo57
/ck/ is full of plebs, I swear. The man is a comedic genius, and the recipes are authentic and interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR1gmKDFmaM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_Qop23LXgQ

>> No.16405995
File: 5 KB, 493x402, hi_five.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16405995

>>16405981
Yeah I have no idea how I fucked that up but it doesn't matter much because everyone here knows it's crab juice and I can rest knowing we're all on the same page.

>>16405985
Thanks friend, I think I manage a thread every 5 months or so but it's nice to have supporting feedback

>> No.16406036 [DELETED] 

>>16405995
Awesome posts bro.

>> No.16406043 [DELETED] 

>>16405287
Won't that kill the crab though?

>> No.16406052

>>16405261
Cram juice? The kalshnikovs I can see, but won't juice be a bit hard?

>> No.16406062
File: 12 KB, 200x200, 933666.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16406062

>>16406052
>Cram
oh anon

>> No.16406069

>>16405210
You should make a youtube channel making meals seen on film and television shows

>> No.16406086
File: 134 KB, 352x400, This kills the crab..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16406086

>>16406043
Only 1 thing can do that.

>> No.16406155

>>16406069
That's a fucking great idea, if only I had the time to keep up with it

>> No.16406173

>>16405281
>make the crab juice
I'm surprised he didn't just buy lump crab meat and pour the juice in a glass. Apparently there are also real crab infused drinks.

>> No.16406226
File: 35 KB, 300x137, 38B12801-FF0F-44CB-9B12-BFECC849A00A.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16406226

>>16405287
>RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>> No.16406334

>>16405267
it is my ardent hope that this comment inspires you to fucking kill yourself, you waste

>> No.16406346

>>16405251
good thread and tasty looking kalash, I will try making some myself soon

>> No.16406399

>>16406346
I hope you do anon! Having given this a once-through the only additional advice I would give is use maybe 80% mince or double-up on the lemon to keep it moist, and 100% have some fresh tzatziki on hand. Also I think chickpeas would be not only more authentic but more delicious, rather than mundane bread crumbs

>> No.16406408 [DELETED] 
File: 36 KB, 600x800, A_Weapon_To_Suppass_Metal_Gear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16406408

Shit thead, shit food. I unironically want OP to commit suicide and ends his miserable failure of an existence.
I am done with 4chan. You niggers aren't even pretending not to be reddit at this point. Fuck this niggerfaggot website.

>> No.16406413

>>16406408
Bye, have a good one bud! We won't miss you.
you'll be back tomorrow like always

>> No.16406418

Huh. This is like Binging with Babish, the thread.

>> No.16406427

>>16406418
¥ucky

>> No.16406623

>>16406408
oh anon you always say that

>> No.16406836

>thread not about Arbys

>> No.16406848

>>16405210
10/10 thread OP
great job!

>> No.16407039

>>16405229
I'm not fully on board with letting minced meat rest over night.

>> No.16407080

>>16406408
I'll make another of those DO AMERICANS REALLY??? threads later for you, sweatie

>> No.16407082

Cool reddit post bro

>> No.16407465

>>16407039
You're probably not cut out for Khlav Kalash then.

I think maybe using flat thin pieces of meat and stacking it dipping it into fat every time, then frying is a good method too. Like making a meat candle. It just smells better.

>> No.16407478

good thread OP
>oh haha ill call it reddit because.... it just is!!! XDD
most reddit faggots on this site, kys

>> No.16408168

>>16407082
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9rGVlYESF8

>> No.16408176

looking good but for me i do not use pork.

>> No.16408187

>>16405255
Looks like a big lumpa shit.

>> No.16409469

>>16408187
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwsXh7dZyOE

>> No.16409481

>>16405327
I just bought one of those pepes when they restocked him. Should I make shitpost threads where I pretend to be you in order to ruin your reputation as a good poster?

>> No.16409487

>>16408168
>>16409469
bedtime grandpa

>> No.16409496

>>16409481
try not to anon

>> No.16409634

>>16405210
>>16405221
>>16405225
>>16405229
>>16405235
>>16405238
>>16405240
>>16405245
>>16405249
>>16405251
>>16405255
>>16405261
These are some fine looking pictures
Good stuff

>> No.16409899

>>16409634
Thanks friend, my 50mm prime is my go-to lens for cooking shots. Just have to stand back a ways which can be tricky. Next time I'll use the 35mm and see how that one goes.

>> No.16409909

I'd eat it, thanks OP