/ck/ - Food & Cooking

nice blue toenail fatso

>word heat maps are now casually used on every product imaginable to further erode their value
>but at least I got my liquid flavocol
si si si si si si si si
si si si si si si si si
si si si si si si si si
si si si si si si si si

>>16322496
One time when I was a kid I put about 2 minutes worth of that butter in my popcorn. I had it on my lap during the movie and it slowly seeped out and covered my entire groin. I was pretty fat at that age and my friends and I had to walk about an hour to get home. The inside of my thighs chaffed so bad in the summer heat with all that oil that I had to go to the emergency room with my parents later that night. The wounds were weeping blood and puss for a couple days. It just so happens that I got my dick sucked about a week later, first time, and the girl stopped when she saw all the scabs and shit. I think she was already on edge because we played tennis beforehand and my crotch smelled like burnt, salty fish. She told the whole school about it and I had to meet with my gym teacher so she could teach me how to use talcum powder. No joke, she flicked my penis one time when I was wearing shorts. Shit was cash.

>>16322531
that's disgusting

>>16322496
If a girl has chipped nails like that I am going to assume her pussy stinks. If she doesn't put in the effort to use nail polish remover then she probably doesn't put in the effort to clean her pussy.

>>16322537
Yeah well you’re probably no show pony yourself.

>>16322531
this is a life well lived

>>16322496
why does this liquid butter always give me the shits

>>16322531
FROM SEA TO SHINING SEEEEEAAAAA

>>16322496
>not popping into K-Mart next door and helping yourself to the "fill a bucket of lollies for $5" area.

>>16322591
Reeeeeeeent freeeeee! As freeeeee as the wind blooooows....

>>16322496
>Budder flavored soy oil

>>16322496
>doesn't taste like butter
>can't get it on consistently, either it sticks to the top or makes a pool at the bottom
>really doesn't taste like butter
>doesn't look like butter
>doesn't taste at all like butter, who the fuck are they fooling?
>made of carcinogens and xenoestrogens
>tastes nothing at all like butter

>>16322531
im drunk as hell and that made me laugh

It's all soybean oil, total trash. Can't believe the garbage I ate. Anytime I do I always fast after

>>16322531
fake

>>16323121
what's the best butter you've ever had

>>16323121
Get your tongue checked

>>16322496
Really

>>16322558
>girl

>the fake butter
>nah I don't need it

>>16322531
these shitposts are evolving

>>16322496
Around 8 years ago, my dad and I went to the movies and saw this guy with the biggest popcorn container you can get. He proceeded to spend at least 1:30 putting this shit on it.
It was disgusting.
He then took a handful, tossed it in his mouth, made a nasty face and threw the popcorn away.
We still joke about it anytime we go to the movies.

>>16322593
A bucket of what?

>>16322496
>not adding m&ms

>>16326263
Why would you go to the movies in 2021? And then, why with your dad? Fake and gay story, 'non.

>>16323213
Christ, lad, it's 2pm. Get a grip.

>>16323066
>>16322591
Statistically, you're both Americans. Do Americans really assume that everyone thinks about them all the time? I legitimately don't even know who your president is or how to find you on a map, so you need to get over yourselves.

>>16323121
Notice the straw attached to the nozzle? That’s how you spread it out evenly layer by layer

>>16322593
>K-Mart
I don't think he knows...

>>16326830
this. True patrician. well done OP

>>16322531
>I put about 2 minutes worth of that butter in my popcorn.
>I was pretty fat at that age
Huh... it’s almost like there’s a connection here...

>>16322531
>groin covered in butter/oil
>gets chaffed when walking home
You're telling me you were covered in a lube and still got chaffed?

>>16322577
It's flavored soybean oil

For me it's the Chili and Cheese dispenser at Racetracs and 7/11's. I guess the only thing stopping someone form popping in there with a big gulp cup and just yoinking a giant ass cup off chili is the Social Contract of not acting like I psycho. I legit just want to try it one day to see what happens.

>>16327117
Try masturbating with olive oil or similar. Shit does not work well.

>>16326295
"""""""candy""""""""

>>16326879
dont know what?
are you implying K-mart's dead where you live?
they're still everywhere here. Where else are you gunna buy $4 t-shirts and $10 pairs of jeans?

>>16327881
wtf sure it does

>>16327881
yes it does, i've done it before.

>>16327932
>>16327946
I assume you guys use extra virgin then?

>>16327966
I never paid attention, but it works. Just don't get it in your hole.

>>16327932
>>16327946
my bad, I was thinking of apple cider vinegar. I was drunk and THOUGHT it was olive oil. I realized the next day when I smelled like a sour pickle.

>>16328010
>I was thinking of apple cider vinegar.
wtf

>>16328010

>>16327896
K-Mart is defunct dude. If you think you're still going to one you legit need help.

>>16328428
>the biggest general retailer
>defunct
lol kay bro

>>16328491
Ok apparently there's 5 K-Marts left. So there's a chance you're not schizophrenic.

>>16325494
seems like a great way to crack your teeth biting into what you think is a cheeto but is actually popcorn with the kernel inside

>>16328501
five?
You live in Tasmania?
You're probably thinking of Target, which have been going downhill for a few years now because they cant compete with K-mart.

>work at theater as a teen
>fat fuck orders popcorn
>hand them a bag
>they ask me to dump it out and only fill it so much so they can make 4 or 5 trips to the oil pump and back
I swear some people make it a game to see how fast they can eat themselves to death.

>>16327966
>I assume you guys use extra virgin then?
Top kek

>>16328760
failed in canada also, buy dominating in the states

>>16322593
Why? So I can get done for eating a bit of pick and mix?

>>16322531
I'm beginning to like this kid.

>>16328728
Your weak teeth can't handle a popcorn kernel? I used to eat the unpopped kernels when I was a child.

>>16322496
nah thats not real is it? you guys like soggy popcorn?

>>16326762
go back you mong

>>16322496
I go WILD on this shit. Grab a straw and jam it deep in your bag, then press it up against the butter spout and inject the butter load from the bottom of the bag to the top. When I'm done my bag weighs like 25% more. This one time, when I was working the machine, one of the employees told me I'm known as "the butter guy" which is kind of irritating but whatever I don't care about those minimum wage retards.

>>16322514
It’s not in any way similar to flavacol, you immense dipshit.
If you’re gonna act like others are retarded, try to be a bit less retarded.

>>16329858
It doesn't make it soggy at all. You'd have to submerge popcorn in a liquid for that to be viable

>>16329858
It’s not actually butter.

I worked a couple different small theaters in my early 20s. You can spot "CAN YOU ADD BUTTER IN THE MIDDLE" fags as soon as they walk in the door. Their eyes dart around the room, clocking and analyzing the concessions stand, likely looking for the butter machine.
They order their fucking popcorn and can't wait to tell you to add butter halfway through filling their popcorn bag. They also can't wait to yell "MORE PLEASE" if you try to add anything less than a shitload before going back to filling the bag. You literally can't add too much butter for these retards. I've tried. I tried to add an obscene amount of butter and was usuallu commended with a "oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about."

These are the same smug retards that come in and ask "BUT IS IT REAL BUTTER" as they walk by with their date to the auditorium to try to play it cool. Yes, lardo, it's real butter.
A different bread of smug asshole is the 50+ year old man that comes in and screams his question from the back of the line :
ARE THERE FREE REFILLS ON POPCORN
yeah on the large.
The smug bastard asks for a tray with his popcorn, dumps his popcorn into the tray then asks you to butter the absolute hell out of both. He usually looks back at the other customers and the employees with the most smug expression I've ever seen.

I do miss working at single screen movie theaters, though.

Can americans watch a movie without eating anything ?

>>16331134
All I need is a sparkling water, thanks.

>>16330981
I'm sorry Robert.

>>16331184
No need, butterbro. I loved every second of it.

>>16322531
>fat kid
>walking for an hour
You could at least have added something about penis inspection day for credibility.