/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Jesus hates you

>>16305374
They just taste like cheap, prepackaged ice cream cones.

>>16305374
i find their texture addictive

>>16305374
Jesus was a Jew, what do you expect?

>>16305379
Fpbp

>>16305374
I mean, is this stuff supposed to taste like candy or something? I always thought it would taste like bland packing peanuts in the shape of a disk instead of an unflavored cheeto puffs

When you lead a good Christian life, the Eucharist tastes like the sweetest honey
When you knowingly fail to follow God's way, they taste like shit
...

If it doesn't taste sweet to you that means you've strayed far away from God's light.

it's been so long since I've savored one
my church was based because I got to drink wine when I was like 11

>>16305374
>implying any man-made object can even approach the glory of salvation from our Savior, Lord, and King
heh

I went to a Methodist as a kid and ours looked different, they were rectangular and a little thicker. Not bad. Only grape juice though.

>>16305792
It also wasn't the flesh of Christ, but I guess you wouldn't know the difference.
>>16305760
>Not understanding what the Eucharistic mystery is.

>>16305374
They have symbolic meaning, they are not meant as a snack.

Let it dissolve slowly in your mouth, then chew and swallow. It actually feels like flesh after a bit. Body of Christ and all that.

>>16305374
usually the priest nuts on them. then he goes and fucks a kid and laughs at you while he counts his money.

>>16305374
If you enjoyed eating human flesh that'd be pretty fucked up, anon.

>>16305811
No, they have literal meaning, protestant.

>>16305840
cannibalism?

>>16305843
I will not entertain your deliberate obtuseness.

>>16305847
the metal interpretation is that the Eucharist is transformed into the body and blood of Christ? A human form of God incarnate into human flesh?

So the literal interpretation is cannibalism.

Also the priest nuts on them after he fucks a choirboy, that's how they consecrated them.

>>16305862
Are you trying to shock people? Do you think you're offending me?

>>16305871
nope.

>>16305374
they taste like Jesus you tastlet. Are you saying or Lord and saviour has the mouthfeel of faecal matter?

>>16305843
>cannibalism
Just as Christ unites all within Him (joining the Divine Opposites), the Eucharist marries the ultimate Glory of Worship with the horror of cannibalism.

>>16305805
stop watching Word on Fire

>>16306004
I've been watching Fulton Sheen, actually.

>>16305650
This. Based. Dominus vobiscum

>>16305650
bump

>>16305374
at least they reduce the damage you take to half a heart

>>16305650
>>16305669
So it's like the bell in the Polar Express

>>16307578
Fuck the Polar Express, nigga.

>>16305379
kek

imagine the conversion rate theyd have if they were takis or ranch flavor

>>16307578
You can believe in God and still stray from Him

>>16305379
he doesnt even exist, stop worshiping jews, you loser

>>16305374
they symbolize the body of jesus christ, so it's because he would taste like feces if you ate him

Did you people know that jesus was a homosexual communist? He had several affairs with his apostles. I expect nothing less from the son of a cheating and lying whore, but you guys just keep on praying to your fag idol
islam is bullshit as well btw

>>16305374
Ugh, they look so bland.
My priest used a little food dye to make ours in all colours of the rainbow for Pride Month.

>>16306004
>Just as Christ unites all within Him (joining the Divine Opposites), the Eucharist marries the ultimate Glory of Worship with the horror of cannibalism
mmm…I do love a good word salad

>>16309142
Your priest is based

>>16309130
>did you know this random shit written down is true
>OH HE ALSO HAD GAY SEX
You're not fooling anyone lekhieyal

Jews don't taste good

>>16305374
they lace it with clergys cum

These taste amazing. I love communion.

>>16309336
Robots can't eat, silly.

>>16309102
Surely you have some proof to back those hot opinions up, right?

>>16305374
I guess it depends on which ones they buy

>>16305374
Since they are super thin, they dissolve quickly and you are left with the overall taste of your own mouth.

So, the question is: Why does the inside of your mouth smell like shit?

>>16305374
They just need cajeta

>>16305374
What were you expecting when you bite a jew?

>>16305374
There were a lot of complaints, so my church uses these

They have almost no taste. Unfortunately they are great for cleansing the palate, making the wine taste much worse.

>>16309386
>born in jewish region
>son of jewish god
>King of jews
>written about by jews for other jews

Yeah savior of white race and culture

>>16309386
the burden of proof is on you, jew worshiper

>>16305374
Theyre not meant to be eaten

>>16309169
your inability to understand is not a critique

>>16309102
Hey faggot, how about actually making an argument against what Christ preached, instead of "lol he not real", like the kikes have been pushing for almost 2000 yrs, and which has been disproven by all biblical historians even Bart Ehrman, who's an atheist.

>>16309169
>can't understand simple symbolism
i'm starting to think atheism is a mental disability desu

The government should privatize 4chan and ban religion

>>16311338
gay and liberal

>>16311343
fuck off back to your containment board /pol/

>>16310028
>imagine unironically being so dense you think that soyjak meme is true
LOL

>>16311344
I mean, 4chan is already privatized then you advocated fascist atheism, so I don't think I'm out of line for calling you a liberal faggot. But you do you zoom-zoom.

>>16305374
So people don't snack on them.

Do they Catholics eat there butt too?

>>16305400
fuckin nailed it anon wow

You need to prepare it properly.
https://youtu.be/NYJzV5CoJXk

>>16305819

I once bought a 100 pack of communion wafers and ate 5 at a time, stacked on top of each other. It ruined going to church for me after that.

>>16309089
Same with Santa

he doesn't bring condiments to church to spice it up

>>16305374
They are secretly splashed with diluted priest semen prior to serving as is the common way to pleasure the celebate old fart.

>>16305374
kids used to tease me for being fat as a child, but jokes on them since father Bismark didn't like chubby boys now half of those kids have ptsd and or committed suicide LOL god works in mysterious ways hail satan.

>>16306586
based

>>16309497
amen

do americans really? my church used to use actual bread that they baked.

>>16305374
OP is going to hell

>>16313785
Ok chud

>>16309386
>proving a negative
and the religiontard has made his presence

>>16309748
nigger the white race and culture has been christian for 2000 years now.
The thing you want to save is longhouses and other shit similar to mudhouses in central africa.
>written about by jews for other jews
objectively false lmao
2 desciples were fucking greek.

>>16310028
you know anon, there's entire sects of christianity that do not believe in original sin

>>16310028
>he doesn't even begin to grasp at the fallen nature of humanity.
lmao @ you

>>16314142
>you know anon, there's entire sects of christianity that do not believe in original sin
And they are rightly to be known as heretics and blasphemers.

>>16305374
Too much bonemeal proly.

>>16305379
This desu

>>16305374
Because its a spiritual practice, not a worldly one. If you like it for the flavor, you are kind of missing the point.

>>16305847
If someone thankfully put a bullet through your dense brain and cut you open, do you really think they'd find a piece of human flesh in your stomach?

>>16313575
so edgy bro
how can I be as objective and aloof as you?

>>16305374
probably as close as you can get to eating a lightbulb

>Hatemongering, shitposting chantard
> Christian

Choose one. You can't be both.

My church hands out famous amos cookies instead sometimes

>>16316133
i may shitpost but i dont hatemonger

My church has a rotating assembly of old ladies that bake fresh bread. Volunteers cut it up just before the service. Really quality stuff, feels better than taking communion with something purchased from a giant warehouse.

Normal wafers taste like these guys though. I like them for their resemblance.

>>16315611
>Doesn't understand the glory of transubstantiation.

>>16305374
>Why do communion wafers taste like shit?
Because human flesh isn't something you should eat.

>>16316133
>>16317677
Ok chud

I never laughed so hard at a thread. Thank god y'all are so well mannered. To the atheists, was your grandmother the same way? Didn't see the morals, trust, and a better way for the people you hang out with?

>>16317713
>y’all
Don’t make me say it

>>16317713
np king

>>16305374
these don't taste good to you? mine have always tasted really sweet

>>16317700
The communion wafer turns into the flesh of Jesus when you eat it, letting Catholics engage in ritual and literal cannibalism.

>>16318251
Take your meds chud

>>16317713
So you're admitting the whole belief part is tacked on, and the morals are the important part? Why not imbue the culture with morals, or follow a philosophy instead? It's because it's easier to justify and enforce it with the promise of divine supervision. Taking all the morals out of being a good person... that's 99% of religion.

>>16317713
>y'all
>tripfagging
>midwit intellect
3 for 3 dumbo

>>16305379
Jesus loves me. This I know, because the Bible tells me so.

>>16305379

>>16318491
Wow, cyclical!

>>16305374
they're mixed in with the priest's cum

>>16318572
Ok chud

>>16305374
Literaly just salt, water, yeast and flour.

>>16318276
He's telling you are a godless faggot, which is unforgivable in 2021.
You can't have moral without God

>>16318617
>Flatbread
>yeast
You're not actually this dumb, right?

>>16319350
Dead yeast is still yeast.

>>16319282
Actually you can’t be moral while following a prescribed system of laws

Simply use bread again like Orthos do

>>16319393
Why?

>>16319393

They need to spice them up

>>16319282
Retard fucking take

I'm a religionlet, please explain to me how that tradition isn't basically cannibalism.

>>16305374
There was that bullshit candy shaped kind of like a flying saucer. It was two wafers pressed together with a bunch of little stupid candy beads in the middle. Tastes almost exactly like that. As I kid I always likened them to the plain veggie straws

>>16319499
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9UlXcoVHnog

>>16309748
Judeans are not the same Jews as today, blasphemer

>>16305374
>be me
>8 yro in church
>halfway into service
>communion time
>thefuckisgoingon.jpeg
>people passing around a gold plate full of white shit and some dark liquid
>a few mintues later, i eat the white thing
>notbad.jpeg
>pastor "now we drink the blood of Christ"
>the what now?!
>get scared to drink it
>causing a scene in church
>mom looks pissed
>pastor finally tells me its just grape flavor Juicy Juice
>"oh"
>drink it

>mfw i thought Jesus blood type was grape flavor

>>16305374
because you're tasting your sin, sinner

>>16319542
this shit right here is why we have confirmation

>>16305374
Salvation.

Friendly reminder Proddies aren't Christian.

>>16319542
jesus juice

>>16319350
Most flatbreads use yeast

>>16305760
>he doesn't believe in transubstantiation
I guess God isn't really omnipotent huh, or is that just your personal interpretation of Truth?

>>16305374
Enjoying things is a sin and their magic crackers are like the holiest things in the world. If they tasted good nuns would immediately want to fuck the priest or something.

>>16305650
Satanic brainwashing

>this thread

>>16320061
Amen

>>16305374
I've been stuffing rolls of communion wafers in my ass 30 times a day for the past 20 years.
That is 900 communion wafers a day,
that is 6300 communion wafers a week
that is 372600 communion wafers a year
that is a grand total of 7452000 communion wafers

THOSE COMMUNION WAFERS HAVE BEEN IN MY ASS

>>16305374
I can honestly say I have never eaten one. Isn't the whole point that they're tasteless?

>>16305374
Jesus has been dead for 2000 years. Do you expect his body to be fresh?

>never had communion wafers
>Grew up in a school teaching both evolution and creation
>Nobody quarantined this contradictory shit but me
>Mid sermon, present this question to our priest
>Get scolded and told not to question it
>Everyone but me that went to that school is retarded now
>But all of them make shitty food except me
I'm convinced communion wafers are a form of conditioning to make you intentionally cook shittier because the bar lowers for a religious reason.

How was the blood of Christ though?

>>16320357
Nothing is tasteless anon. Even air has a taste. Water has a taste. Your saliva has a taste. To be without taste is to be without life

>>16320423
You know what I meant you fucking dork.

>>16320428
Realistically you can argument that because you can taste them that it's impure and deceiving you, consuming a tainted product and pushing yourself away from the lord
Or you can just take the more rational approach and try to find better tasting communion wafers. There's a recipe clearly so it's a matter of making it suck less

>>16320440
I refuse to be Ben Shapiro'd.

>>16320446
I would out non-kosher salt in the wafers fuck with people and get them to drink more of the wine. Make no mistake I can fuck with a lot of people but I mostly just want to fuck with (You)

>>16320459
You sound mentally ill and I hope you go get the help you need and deserve.

>>16320485
Not even God can help me anon. It's far too late for that

>>16320513
You're fine dude.

>>16320513
Maybe not god, but a mental health professional might. Therapy and medication can probably do a lot to help you.

>>16305374

Because they aren't supposed to taste good or like anything really. You are honoring the body of Christ and the sacrifice he made for you on the cross so that you may have life enteral.

>>16309497
nothing like a good worship at the grocery store

>>16305374
Because Christ was a vegan so his body tastes like shit
>You are what you eat

>>16320524
You're gonna eat the salty communion wafers and you're gonna like it
>>16320520
We can change this

>>16320621

>>16316087
How is that edgy at all lol

>>16305374
It's a body of Christ, who's a smelly doo doo head who didn't wash himself back in 20s

>>16305443
Didn't he stop being a jew?

>>16321206
He was a real Jew, not an Ashkenazi.

>>16305374
>the sweet crackers taste like shit
Hahahha. Into hell you go.

>>16321226
Idk the meaning, I only just started reading the bible. Jesus hasn't been introduced yet

>>16319350
I didn't read your post, but I just wanted to say that I want to breed that dumb ice fairy.

>>16314165
Gosh I feel sorry for those billions of babies and fetuses burning in the eternal fires of hell, in God's mercy.

>>16321206
yeah he even grew his foreskin back when he was resurrected, no BS

>>16320621
This is way too american for me

>>16319404
Truly trying to be morally good requires you to make complex judgements and decisions based on critical thinking and the nuances of each particular situation. If you are bound to follow a complex code of rules like the bible, it often isn’t possible to reconcile those rules with what’s truly morally right in the moment. Laws are often unjust, or simply not nuanced enough.