/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16251117
Have you tried not getting fucked in the ass by a big black buck every night? Normal people don't have ass problems when they eat spicy food, you just are nasty and gay

>>16251117
eat fibers and fats. lots of both preferably.

>>16251121

I didn't ask about your sexual fantasies mate. Go watch buck breaking with your buddies and then spread your hole for your african overlords, faggot.

>>16251130
Nice projection, ass burnt faggot. I'm not the one with anal issues from getting drilled by cocks. I hope you die from AIDS, faggot

>>16251142

Imagine getting this mad over a random sequence of letters in the internet.

>>16251117
Keep your own fingers and other males cocks out of it fag.

>>16251117
Build up your tolerance by applying some hot sauce around and into your butthole before eating something spicy.

>>16251117
You could try eating a few spoonfuls of full fat sour cream and lots of grease, they will dilute the capsaicin in your gut and make it easier

>>16251117
cayenne is 100% digestible
if it is passing through you too quickly, it will burn because it is partially undigested

So why does it pass through partially undigested?
Alcohol consumption, having food that is too large in quantity at once, ie gorging, greasy foods that don't mix well with your diet of beer overuse and your being obese and prediabetic, such that your gallbladder is working overtime dumping bile, or combining your hot food with things like high fodmap foods like onions, and then being an IBS person

Don't abuse your GI tract, so if it's causing issues, then cut back

>>16251117
I find eating a lot of fiber seems to help.

>>16251117
It doesn't happen to me unless I eat A LOT of very spicy stuff.

>>16251195
not him but has only happened to me once, eating jalapeños

>>16251117
The burning sensation comes from the taste buds in your asshole. Short of not eating spicy foods, or eating so much that you manage to desensitise them somehow, or singing your asshole (and damaging the surrounding tissue too) with a heating element you will always feel the burn.

But I have never felt actual pain from it so unless it feels like it actually hurts, then you should stop caring about it.

If you liked it going in, why don't you like it going out?

>>16251211
Obviously OP likes it going in a bit more than he should, which probably got him in this situation in the first place

>>16251207
>taste buds
Is that why cum feels so right in your ass?

>>16251117
You can buy zinc or barrier creme at the pharmacy and put that on your pooter. Best results if you put it on BEFORE you shit.
t.RN

>>16251142
Hey buddy you wanna sit down and breathe for a minute? Here, have an orange wedge

>>16251166
>cayenne
he's talking about chilli you fucktard

>>16251117
Glass of milks or lactose free milk

> I hope you die from AIDS, faggot

Quit being so weak.

>>16251142
>nice projection
>was the one who straight out the gate mentioned black cock
Mutts law in full effect.

>>16251562
I don't think OP is talking about a specific spice at all dumbass

>>16251117
Coat your sphincter in vaseline before crapping. Make sure you really rub it in there, get it in all the wrinkles.

>>16252049
>>16251117
>spicy or hot

>>16252107
>chilli is the only spicy or hot spice

>>16252706
name another 'hot' spice besides ginger then, and that doesn't count as its not 'hot'
chilli is the only 'hot' spice

>>16251121
>>16251142
Feel free to leave any time.

>>16251117
https://vocaroo.com/1j1z6PCYEpD5

>>16251127

Somewhat this.

>metamucil
>oatmeal
>popcorn

Simple as.

>>16251117
Get a bidet. Pregrease with Vaseline.

>>16252729
Black pepper

>>16252845
you probably think this is hot too then

>>16252858
I think I'm starting to understand why you struggle with the meanings of words.

>>16251117
Nicocado could probably teach you some “anus relaxing” techniques

Am I the only one who has never experienced hot shit, or runs after eating taco bell or hot food? It's such a meme, but I've never experienced it. Maybe some heartburn, but I can blame that on booze.

You guys are a bunch of soibois

>>16251117
see a doctor
if eating spicy food gives you spicy butthole then it means you have a medical condition or at the very least you have a terrible fucking diet and need help.

>>16251166
capsaicin is alcohol soluble, it shouldnt burn at all if hes drinking alcohol

>>16251117
Do it more frequently. Your guts will be more resilient if they become acclimated to it. But don't do it too frequently or it will have the reverse effect.

>>16252845
Black pepper is spicy but no one has ever gotten bubble guts from eating it unless they ate literal kilos of the stuff.

>>16253709
I've had shits that were so hot that there was residual burn after the fact with a clean wipe. Those days were over when I invested in a bidet however.

>>16251117
this.might be a hot take (hah) but you could also not eat ridiculously spicy food

Just stop eating that shit
I always get bad shits whenever I eat really spicy shit or flaming hot cheetos

Hey OP here's a legit answer:

Get loperamide (Imodium or generic) and some psyllium husk fiber (metamucil or pills). When you are in need take the loperamide after your meal with a good amount of water and a double dose of Metamucil or psyllium husk. The next day drink plenty of water when you wake up and take more loperamide. Give it a few hours then take your shit. The anti-diarrhea medicine will congeal your crap into a ball. The fiber will make sure it is a soft yet condensed texture and highly motile. Any burning you may have will be isolated into a quick baseball sized event of a few seconds.

Get some butt wipes for an after-cooling effect. It will be one of the best shits you've ever taken.

>t. hemorrhoids

>>16254822
4mgs loperamide makes normal people not shit for two days. and it doesn't congeal your shit it dehydrates your bowels. no wonder you have hemorrhoids fuckin idiot

>>16251117
Lube up, unironically.