/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16226429
No, but if it happens I'll take it back to the store instead of being an attentionwhore on social media about it.

>>16226429
He thought he was getting hooked up because the bag was heavier, but got a mouse instead. Nice.

>>16226429
Heh...

It's free protein

sue time
the true form of trickle down economics

>>16226429
stuart little no :(

>>16226429
Yes, the sushi worms

>>16226429
I a few times I cooked Cup of Noodles and it had some bugs in it.
I was thinking it was the house it was in, but the noodles were sealed and wrapped. There were bugs in other food though.

>>16226429
your wife is gag because i do penus on the mouth of her, not mouse

>>16226526
Your peanus weanus?!

>>16226429
i have found dead bugs and rat feces in dry goods before. i picked them out and used the products anyway.

i think the worst things i found in packaged food were both in bags of pork rinds. once i got an entire bristle in my mouth which was unpleasant as fuck, and another time a nipple that was a little too well defined, just didnt want to be thinking about pig nipples while eating snacks.

in fresh foods, worms and bugs in greens sure, maggots in muchrooms, tumors and abcesses in pork, crabs, clam worms and isopods in oysters, once found a badly infected ingrown feather in a duck i was butchering that was curled up like a fiddlehead and at least 12cm long

>>16226429
how would you cook a mouse realistically speaking

>open bag of brown rice
>literal spiders
It was a “premium” brand too.

>>16226493
Why are amerilards so into lawsuits?? Is it because it's their only shot at making any significant amount of money in their pathetic lives?

>>16226590
of course

>>16226429
>>16226585
>>16226579
>>16226522
what the hell is wrong with american food standards

>>16226429
is america really like this?

>>16226597
They have to cater to Mexican workers and chinese food processing plants. Cant set the bar too high or the food industry will crash because no one can step up and meet requirements

>>16226438
>go to store, they give you a refund/gift card/new package or whatever the fuck as compensation and they didn't even have anything to do with it
>take it to the corporations public social media pages, they panic and jump through all kinds of hoops to save face due to a mistake that happened on their watch

>>16226582
some salt, pepper
medium hot pan

wa la

found a bunch of lil bugs in some ap flour once.

>>16226607
>LidlUK

>>16226582
You don't cook it, you dip it in raw egg and eat it alive (don't have the chink webm on me sadly)

>>16226582
Eating mice and rats is popular in Asia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn_40K0er0E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rhF6eSOCb8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrARXdBZppw

>>16226660
I wonder what other treasures of Chinese cuisine are denied to the West due to racism and cultural intolerance

>>16226429
>buy homemade cookies at farmers market
>eat one
>tastes kinda weird
>eat another
>yup, shit is gross
>take a closer look
>full of worms

>>16226693
Centipede Hot Pot

>>16226715
Yummy

>>16226708
Nothing wrong with a worm castle once in a while.

>this entire thread

>>16226488
kek

>>16226715
>you VILL eat ze bugs

Once while extremely baked off DUDE, I got an apricot out of the fridge. Rather than bite it, I decided to split it open down the middle with my hand before eating it. There was a fucking centipede looking worm inside and it was pretty big compared to the fruit, it scared the shit out of me.

>>16226590
How many threads are you going to cry about americans in? Rent free faggot

>>16226723
it always looks like their "human" face is going to fall off when they start chewing

My mom found a nasty dirty penny in the bottom of her coffee cup at IHOP once. Manager accused us of planting it there and refused to comp anything but the one cup of coffee. Last time I ever set foot in that shithole.

>>16226597
Op is from bongistan retard.

Mom bought some cola in a bottle with a spider in it.
I bought bread with molds or had some tiny flies the bag, nothing major.

>>16226429
Opened a can of baltic herring 2 hours ago, it had the sperm or eggs of a fish inside, fucking made me gag threw that crap in the trash

>>16226429
When i was in Cali, a friend gave me a bag of halloween candy. In the bag was a pack of peanut m&ms. I ate one and immediately noticed it was chewy and smokey tasting. I spit out the candy on a napkin only to find a cigarette butt filter was inside the m&m instead of a peanut. Ive never touched peanut m&ms since.

>>16226723
whats the yellow stuff? Boiling hot oil?

>>16226438
Found the goy, this shits basically covered in the torah

>>16226933
her highly corrosive pee

>>16226933
Yeah she's frying them, makes me wonder how the glass doesn't crack though

>>16226954
You do know that goy basically means non-jew right? right??

>>16226685
Next you’ll tell me water is wet

>>16226582
burger

>>16226933
her hot urine

>>16226429
my mom bought chocolate millk powder once and a mosquito flew out when she opened it. we threw it away

>>16226958
Preschool thermodynamics

>>16227005
Do they teach thermodynamics in preschool?

>>16226429
The last gross thing I recall is bug larva in honey bunches of oats.

>>16227024
Yes when your classmates give you an indian burn.

>>16226597
>>16226607
>seething third-worlders can't even read the @LidlUK
Feels good being an international boogeyman.

>>16226429
Where's the mouse?

>>16226429
that's vile
I've found broken glass in food though

>>16227067

>>16226958
No
>>16226933
It's salted cooking wine that's reacting with the bugs.

>>16226522
you will eat the bugs

>>16227949
why does it "fry" the bugs then if it isn't hot

>>16226715
If I had to choose I'll probably go for the steamed mealworm

>>16226429
One time I bought sun-dried olives from a deli with a questionably grubby display counter (not sure what to call those shelves behind glass that are refrigerated. A fruit fly flew out of the container later when I opened it. I never went back to that place after,

I got food poisoning the last time I went to subway.

I had a raw-inside burger from A%W once.

One time at Cactus Club Cafe I found a chunk of plastic in my food.

>>16227983
Never poured salt on a slug?

>>16227999
Yes, but centipedies aren't slugs and their bodies don't react the same way when exposed to salt like a slug does.

Slugs die when you pour salt on them because their bodies are like water sacs.

Centipedes are hard shelled invertebrates.

>>16228005
The brine is able to penetrate their shelled segments.

>>16226582
thats a rat

tesyicle

>>16228081
all the same under my bat

>>16226590
The one American I know has a mansion with a pool in Fort Worth and another here in Canada. And she's a single mother and nurse. Went on diet pills in the 90s that were just amphetamines and got hooked apparently. Then somebody rear ended her car and she sued them for chronic neck pain. That and child support bought her her mansions and corvette.

>>16226429
>>16226439
This is hilarious. He didn't notice that there was a dead mouse in the rice he'd just poured into a pot to cook?

I guess he didn't wash his rice. >>16225565

On top of that, we just had someone post a "there's a rat in my rice cooker, wat do?" thread a few days ago. Thread got nuked by some butthurt jannie who was offended that the guy turned the rice cooker on and killed the thing. Picrelated from the archive link:

>>/ck/thread/16202606

>>16228371
It's microwavable, you don't pour it into a pot.

>>16226579
>i have found dead bugs and rat feces in dry goods before.
The USDA has an official "acceptable number of rodent droppings per pound" level for products such as wheat or rice. Not joking.

>>16226582
Oh, I didn't read all the way down the thread to your post before posting this >>16228371

>>16226579
>>16228396
Forgot to mention, I used to eat shredded-wheat cereal a lot for breakfast. I stopped after repeatedly buying boxes of it at Costco, and when I poured the milk on, noticing a sort of greenish tint seeping out of the shredded-wheat pillows. I realized fairly quickly that this was "shredded rat shit" and that apparently Costco was getting the bottom-of-the-bin rat-shit-filled wheat from Post Cereals.

It should be noted that the USDA's "acceptable number of rodent droppings per pound" is an AVERAGE level, not an absolute level for any volume that you happen to get -- so as long as they've sold several tons of pristine pure wheat, they can sell you a load of 100% rat shit.

I'm pretty sure that was what was happening to Costco -- they are notorious for fucking over their suppliers by constantly demanding price cuts until a product can no longer be made. So Post was apparently giving them the absolute worst remainders from their production lines.

>>16226822
Keep seething fag

>>16226429
Found an inch-long wood chip in a chocolate bar once

>>16226579
>curled up like a fiddlehead and at least 12cm long
that duck must have itched like a motherfucker.

>peeling pomegranate
>one of those nasty pale yellow translucent spiders crawls out of the weird navel/divot part and bites my hand

>>16228460
I'M not seething. YOU are seething.

>>16226576
Haha!

>>16226579
>another time a nipple that was a little too well defined
I love me some fresh chicharrones but had to give them up for awhile after stopping in at little grocery that made them. One long piece with 3 nipples. But it wasn't the nipples alone that got to me. No, that would have be the strands of hair surrounding each nipple. 2 inch long pig nipple hair.

>cut open green pepper
>it's full of partially hatched spider eggs
Actually happened, swear on my life

>>16228371
They love serving rodents in food in this city:
https://www.vancouverisawesome.com/food-and-drink/crab-park-chowdery-vancouver-rat-soup-closing-1941932

>>16226429
>be about 8 years old
>want some cereal
>open new box, see something solid layer guarding the cereal
>reach my hand through and dig around looking for a prize
>turns out it was spider webs
>pull out hand and it's covered in spiders
>mfw

A couple days ago I ate a bowl of cereal. I decided to pour a second bowl and before I eat I notice there’s silverfish in my fucking cereal. I’m investing in cereal containers from now on

>>16228371
>Now it's a mice cooker

>>16228618
Jesus that sounds absolutely traumatizing

>>16228705
Only enough to stop me from eating cereal anymore lol

>>16228680
iktf

>>16226429
>18
>Working first summer gig at a gas station
>Owners are pretty nice, pay is meh, but they let me snag freebies from time to time so long as I don't go crazy
>On my first day I get called to stock the fridge
>After going through and re-stocking the racks I realize it's already 3 and I havent had lunch
>I dont get off shift till 5 and I'm hungry, so I snag one of the pre-made sandwiches they get brought in every morning.
>Dig in quickly, get back to work, no idea that those were the expired sandwiches that they were going to send back to the vendor.
>Go about my day as usual
>Wake up that night at 3 AM
>Feel like I have to burp
>IMMEDIATELY fill my mouth with vomit
>Rush to the bathroom and upend the entire contents of my stomach into the toilet
>Feel the Rush down below and manage to strip my underwear off and get on top of the toilet right as my bowels explode
>Do the Kneel-hurl-sit-squirt dance for something like half an hour.
>Had no fucking idea my body could empty itself that quickly or that violently. Everything coming out is pretty much liquid.
>Finally make the horrible mistake of looking in the toilet.
>ANTS... ANTS EVERYWHERE
>Big ones too, like fucking carpenter ants all floating there looking like flood casualties floating there in a murky lake of beige and brown
>Finally crawl back to bed, call in sick the next day.

>>16228580
>IM NOT SEETHING
>YOU ARE
ok

>>16228743
You had an anal evacuation and ants came out your booty?

>>16226582
>gut it
>stuff with pork mince, pepper, liquamen and nuts
>bake it
>wa la!

>>16228792
Sorta? Ants did come out of my body, and I did anally evacuate quite a bit. But by the time I looked the toilet was just kinda full of sludge that had been dumped there out of both ends so god only knows which one they came out of.

>>16226860
Both of those are good, though. I wish I had got that can.

>>16226954
If you're calling me a goy like it's an insult I guess that makes you a Jew.

>>16228839
>Ants did come out of my body
No they didn't, numb nuts.
While slumped over the shitter begging to die, one of the random scout ants walking around your shitbox house smelled delicious puke splatters, he called his cuntbag buddies and they all came dancing in to eat your shit and puke.

>I'm cooking for an old person at their house.
>I open a jar of ingredient from the fridge.
>Solid mold
>I go for some pasta. Dry pasta is safe, right?
>Weevils and moths.
>Just some snacks for us, then?
>Bag is full of dead spiders.
I ATE their food beforehand. I'm still not completely over it and I'm super paranoid with food safety and cleanliness now

>>16226429
A few incidents
>Found a white/translucent dry, curled up bug in my ramen package - no idea what it was, it kind of resembled a rolly polly
>Piece of plastic in my chocolate
>Long piece of something wiry or stringy in some bakery cookies - I don't think it was hair
I wish a mouse would come and die in my rice so I could cook it and look at its insides. Mice do not visit me anymore.

>>16228922
Was this person a hoarder or unkempt in any way? Sometimes people hoard food past expiration or are just old and stop giving a shit. Either way, I wish I could see those weevils and moths.

>>16226597
I tossed my food my out, it was a few years old anyways.

>>16226685
I hope a virus or plague wipes them out.

>>16229012
Multiple plagues have come out of Asia and tried to do what man is too pussy to do. Unfortunately they usually spread from there. If only we could quarantine the continent long enough to get rid of them all through their own diseased markets.

>>16226429
meat group!

ive just...
never had anything gross in my food that I've noticed

>>16226429
One time when I was 8 or 9 I was eating a whole can of black olives and something white with little roots or tentacles or something floated up from the bottom, I threw it away so there's no way of knowing what it actually was.

I got a piece of rat spine in some dried Chinese lotus roots.
But to be fair I've found glass in western food products like three times, I set the company the glass and was like "yo better check your shit" and they sent me two crates of free food then denied what I sent them was glass and denied that it came from their product in a polite letter.

At least the chink had the guts to admit it.

Mom once found some metal bits in a package of ground beef she got from Kroger. When she tried taking it back, the owner snatched it from her hands.

>>16228756
rent free, multiple threads

>>16229626
Anon... that meat was probably not from an animal.

>10 years old
>mum buys me a mini-pizza from bakery
>microwave it since it got cold on the drive home
>notice the cheese bubbling in a weird way
>look closer
>it's covered in maggots who are freaking out after being microwaved

>>16228810
LIQUAME NUTS LMAOOO
You're welcome friend.

years ago my mom was making pasta for dinner and she fucked up the proportions so there was only enough for one person (my dad). she started cooking more pasta out of the same package and suddenly noticed these small white bugs climbing upwards on the spaghetti to get away from the boiling water. she dumped that shit out and made up an excuse that there wasn't enough for the rest of us because she didn't want to make my dad sick.

>>16228572
my nightmare

>>16228371
What kind of asshurt jannie deletes a thread like that when there are webms like >>16226723
posted here?

>>16226624
I'd rather go to the store. I don't care about fixing the problem, and fixing the problem would actually be a bad thing. Knowing that this brand has this problem and that other people experience it is awesome, I just don't like when it happens to me.
I just take it back, get a refund, and laugh that the corporation is probably just gonna resell it to someone else.

>>16226522
WHAT BRAND WAS IT I EAT THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME

>>16226429
Do you get anything from the company if you find shit like this?

>>16229811
Nissin Cup Noodles.
They were a few years old and stored in an outdoor area.

>>16229808
cuck would rather get a refund or exchange than the big bucks

>Just opened a bottle of green curry sauce and there was a fucking worm at the top
I could get it out of the trash and take a photo for you guys if you want.

>>16229830
It's not about the money... It's about sending a message...

>>16229832
who's der coomer with here? looks like a flat version of my ex

>>16226429
>be a little kid
>mom got some apricots from farmers market
>tells me to carefully chek them before eating
>idgaf and bite into one, tastes really good
>go in to take another bite
>see a maggot wiggling

at least it wasnt half a maggot, also if your fruits/&vegetables have some bugs in it, its a good sign you arent eating pesticide

always checking before eating now though

>>16229499
Most Americans have and will never

>>16229859
honestly I just eat maggots, anything larval.
You can't really avoid them and they don't hurt you.
T. ruralfag

>Bought a broccoli
>Between the stems was a massive group of maggots
Didn't expect it to be quite honest famalams.

>>16226429
There was corner cut from a plastic bag in my arby's sandwich one time. I just threw it out and didn't make a stink. Pretty fucking gross to bite into though

>>16226582
Gut it, cook the whole thing over a fire on a stick, pick little bits of meat from the bones

Bone thugs n harmony

>>16229877
There's a small chance maggots can survive your stomach acid and start burrowing in your colon. It's killed people before

>>16226429
Why would you ever make rice like that?

>>16226429
rice mice
nice

>>16226429
Once bit into a hebrew national hot dog and felt something stick between my front teeth. As I pulled it away it uncoiled from inside the dog. A 12 inch long hair. Now I have coupons regularly in the mail and never have to pay for hot dogs again.

>>16230281
>compensated with a lifetime supply of hot dog coupons
>coupons are for a 5 cent discount

>>16226429
was halfway through my meal when i noticed little white things in the meat
it wasnt a parasite but i did almost vomit

i also has a "chunk" of something in my java monster, now i only get the regular monster which is honestly pretty underrated

>get a weird color, half filled juice can
>contact the company
>they send $20 of free coupons

It's pretty simple stuff. Don't need to be grasping at straws for attention on social media.

>>16226429
Once bought a pack of pic related, and the first bottle I opened was fucking vinegar.
>>16228371
It's some cheapshit rice brand that's 'microwavable'. The guy probably just poured some water in the bag and nuked it.
Imagine the smell

Saw this on a yelp photo of a place I ate at a couple times. Not sure if i can go back after seeing this

>>16226708
You will eat the bugs.
You will live in a coffin home.
You will not have children.
You will own nothing and be happy.

>>16230882
what is it

>>16228423
based rat shit research anon
i just kind of take for granted that with the cycling of stocks you're eventually gonna end up with a box of shit and beetle filled dregs, like a lottery. i've never been upset about it or boycotted a product because of it, it just kinda be that way with processed foods, like hell if i'm gonna grow and make my own shredded wheat.

bit of a different story with meat though, i do avoid factory farmed meat and animal products when i can.
>>16228602
same shit bro. actually was eating chicharrons while writing that first post, but i hung them up for about six months after the hair encounter

here's another one
>19 working at a fancy restaurant, obviously not very experienced, but working grill line
>just finished portioning a tuna loin, have some scraps on my board, eat a piece raw
>sort of itching burning sensation spreads through my mouth
>wtf
>chef, i think this tuna is off
>he eats a piece
>i see the math behind his pokerface
>'it's just the seasoning'
>seasoning
>a raw fucking piece of tuna cut straight from the loin
>me not getting it, cuts a piece from the core center of the loin with minimal exposure to the environment
>he refuses to eat it
>sell spoiled tuna for $48 a plate all night
>google 'burning sensation tuna
> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scombroid_food_poisoning

>>16228371
Boy howdy that must've been an interesting smell. I had rodents get into my garage a while ago and they were a bitch to get rid of, I started leaving water traps around because they're one of the few ways to outsmart the clever fuckers and the smell of wet rodent is damn near vomit inducing.

>>16226723
>Chinks of all nations have a long cultural obsession with cleanliness in food and habits
>eat shit like this with a smile
I understand differences in culture but jesus christ. Weebs need to understand the bedrock of Asian culture is self-revisionism

>>16229669
Liquamen is Roman fish sauce you fucking plebian

>>16227949

asian girl pee sounds hotter so im sticking with that

>>16226590
>>16226595
>>16226822
>>16228226
>@LidlUK
>Lidl
>UK
>amerilard
>UK
>Lidl
>@LidlUK
You're just embarrassing yourselves at this point.
Fuck you and your shitty little fuckwit countries.

>>16231244
gunna need a citation on that obsession with cleanliness.. they use literal gutter oil

>>16232264
It tastes better too, although I haven't tried any other race or gender's pee I imagine it's inferior.

>>16226429
why would the supermarket know how the mouse got in there?

>>16226582
cut the head, feet, and tail off(tail optional)
throw rat on campfire, turn after 15 seconds, you do this to burn hair off and kill parasites
pull skin off from head to tail, should pull right off
gut it, remove everything, you can keep the heart and eat it though
rub with pepper and salt, skewer, roast over campfire

>>16226429
southamerican here
i have found pieces of mahcinery (i think a plastic extruder, the part that shapes the candy) in a candy bag before, and a chunk of metal in a bag of doritos before, but never any actual pests or bugs or shit
i guess one time there was a mealworm in my pepper flakes but thats it
america is an actual third world shithole

>>16230281
when i was about 15 i bit into some dog and no joke the entire core was a wad of dense hair, didn't think anything of it so just threw it away
i could have been a hotdog millionaire

Everything these people serve is disgusting. How the fuck are they still in business?

>>16226429
Fish hook in a pouch of chunk light tuna. Shit was all rusty and wtf looking.

>>16226429
>be me
>enjoying le raisins
>bite into one
>juicier than uje
>it wasn't le raisin
>was gross büg

>>16228371
It's instant rice I'm pretty sure you just vent the packet and nuke it

>>16227983
>>16227949
It's acid you fucking retards. Asians do this a lot in fancy restaurants. In Japan you take a little piece of wagyu beef sashimi and stick it in the acid and it cooks it.

It was me, Barry! I went back in time and put a mouse in your rice!

>>16226429
how did the retard not notice the weight and also checked the bag inside before he added the water?

>>16230998
Looks like a waterbug, dragonfly larvae maybe? Its not that bad, just means that the crawfish batch had some other water creatures caught in the same trap

>>16230882
>oh no there is a bug inside of my bag of sea bugs

>>16226693
>>16226715
>>16226723
we need to wipe these yellow things off the face of the earth

>>16233933
schools and private prisons don't give a fuck

>>16226590
Yes. You seen those vids of chinks throwing themselves into traffic? I went to college with this jew bitch who was front and center of everything, president of the student government association, 4.00 and everything, photos with the president and so on. the very moment her ass graduated she sued the college for failure to appropriately uphold the title IX statute after some incident that happened to her a couple years prior - she even had the backing of our campus's '''''newspaper''''' painting the president out to be some piece of shit. it's not just an american thing though.

>>16226597
china

Not a bug or mouse, but
>Worked in a supermarket
>Didn't have a long break, so I usually just ate fruit
>Buy a nice big orange - it feels fine, looks fine, smells, fine, etc. Perfectly fine orange
>Peel it, not really paying attention and I surf the web on my phone while eating
>Pull off a big segment, start eating
>Realize something feels/tastes wrong
>Spit it out into a napkin
>Piece in my mouth is full of black looking mold
>Rest of the orange also infiltrated
Nearly threw up. Same thing happened a few years later with a sandwhich I made the night before - the bread was maybe 2 days old, perfectly fine when I made the sandwhich, but I took a bite - wasn't paying attention, something tasted/felt off, and when I looked more closely the bread had green/blue mold - including the piece in my mouth

>>16233913
>America
>LidlUK
At least I can forgive you, you're clearly still learning English.

>>16226429
Eggs inside of some tinned fish. And no, not those delicious clear orbs of roe, but tiny, gritty, revolting clusters. There also might have been a parasitic worm inside of another, but it also could have been a very, very soft bone.

>>16229808
yeah u are a cuck we understand

>>16229024
god, no wonder all races hate the caucasian shitskin.

>>16226429
Egg with green inside that stinked like hell.
Live snails in salad.
Unholy amounts of mold.
Tooth in soup can (how is this even possible?).

So nothing too bad.

>>16226590
It's literally the only way to live the old tale of the "American Dream".

>>16230998
dragonfly larvae

>>16234541
i have literally never heard of this, like ever

Autralian rice it seems already hit the shelves

>>16226429
A small spider in a yogurt, snails/bugs in salad mixes, moths&maggots in rice,wheat and other dried goods which i stored over a long time, ammunition in elk roast, sharp plastic pieces in my dogs food

>>16229626
>owner

>>16232554
>gunna need a citation on that obsession with cleanliness.. they use literal gutter oil
Except that stuff is highly illegal and the poor food standards in China are some of the things the Chinese people are extremely pissed about CCP rule.

>>16226933
According to various people who claim they can translate she says she's frying them in the video, it's probably hot oil unless what she's saying doesn't translate particularly well. I always thought it was wine.

>>16234541
>It's acid
Isn't wine generally acidic?
Could you be more specific?

>>16226590
Why would you want to miss out on an opportunity to get rich off of a subsidiary of some woke megacorp?

Suing these assholes is one of the few ways we can stick it to the man

>>16226438
>Sorry bro we don't do refunds on opened food packages... we can give you a 15% off coupon for Pampers though if that would make you feel better...