/ck/ - Food & Cooking

why did you pick out the jawbreaker with all the hair on it

>>16173843
Scream at it for a while. Coconuts are difficult to crack, but dont worry. It will soon divulge its secrets.

>>16173843
Go full caveman and break it with a rock

>>16173843
I saw a video of a buff Indian man breaking them with his head. Try that!

>>16173843
Thats an old lemon pig

>>16173843
You see those holes on top? that's a weak spot, just stick something pointy in it and give it a good wack with a pan or something. Once the coco water is drained, you can use that hole to split the coconut using a knife. Be careful however, it's kinda dangerous.

Give it a sharp rap with the back of a knife or anything simiar. Hit the right spot and it should pop right open
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQU6o4ooL5E#t=1m7s

>>16173843
I don't know, I've given up on them. I once had so much trouble with one I ended up throwing it off a building. It still didn't break, but one more kick and it finally split open. What was underneath the shell? Another shell. Coconuts. Not even once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFy_0xVIG0M

>>16174277
haha NUT :D

GET IT :DDDDDD NUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

>>16174220
He's a little cartoony, but I am jealous of his cultural heritage.

>>16174832
He's obviously hamming it up for the camera. You can see him break character and giggle at himself.

>>16173843
this is how we do it:
https://youtu.be/qG1TixLC3oI?t=82

>>16174841
>pisses itself in fear as she butchers it
savage

>>16173843
Get a rock and smack the equator all the way around the whole circumference until you hear a "crack". You don't need to hit it hard; just a quick rap with the wrist.

>>16174166
please stick a straw in the hole and give us a cute picture of you sucking?

>>16174841
Guys, she said she wants to keep me going all day long.

>no tools

Fag. Go to harbor freight and by a cheap portable band saw

>>16174841
I want ti bust a nut inside her

>>16174277
lol he cut his hand!
then they did a horsey dance!
that's hilarious! luv sophisticated brit humor. :)

>>16173843
drill two holes in the eyes, drain it, then bash with a hammer
good luck

>>16176036
Monty Python is fun, brainless slapstick in stark contrast to typical understated English humour. They drew a lot of influence from American comedians of the 40s and 50s, probably why it's the only British comedy group to take off overseas.

>>16176036
>sophisticated
Clearly you don't understand it because it's not trying to be "sophisticated" you idiot. But mixing very different things for example. Which is the basis for a lot humour. Making it ridiculous. And at the same time making satire about the ministries that they can't do anything right. Hope that helps your humour analysis next time.

>>16176077
That is not humor. Humor is when you say something socially inappropriate about sex.

>>16176077
yeah i guess in the end it was too sophisticated for me. oof, i hope to be good enough for brilliant brit humor one day

>>16176059
huuur long legged man walk funny

>>16173843
Using the back/spine of your sturdiest knife, sharply tap it all around the equator. If you do it right it will just pop open.

>>16173843
Coconuts have three 'eyes' on the top. One of those eyes will be much softer. Stick a skewer in there and drain the liquid. Wrap the coconut in several layers of newspaper and tie the ends to make it look like a boiled sweet in it's wrapping paper.

Take it outside and put on a patch of grass (somewhere a little softer than concrete/tarmac) hit it a few times on its side until you can feel the shell crack. You don't need to use maximum force. In fact it's better if you don't as you don't want loads of little pieces. Unwrap and prise the shell apart. Ideally, you want it to split in half.

Use some tissue paper to wipe off an hair/shell fragements from the flesh. Use a small knife to get between the flesh and the shell. This can be a little dangerous and tricky, but you want to insert the knife and twist a little and the whole lot will pop out with the brown skin or you'll get fragments. You can take off the brown skin but it keeps better with it on.

Put the fragments you extract facing down (brown skin facing up) into a bowl and cover with tissue paper. Put in fridge and eat within a few days.

>>16174115
>he needs a rock

>>16177492
holy shit

>>16177766
dehumanize yourself and face to monkey

>>16177492
Fucking insane man. Gorillas are cool

>>16177492
im that gorilla dick nig i make dyke pussy wet

produce worker here
get a heavy knife or something similar and and bop it with the back of the knife decisively, but not with too much strength
if you want the water put a bowl under it because it's going to break in half
rotate the c'nut around a bit if it's not working, try to find weaker spots to bop
I'm esl and trans btw if that matters

>>16178308
Gorillas have the smallest penises per unit body compared to the rest of the animal kingdom

>>16174013
oi thought it was a lemon pig

>>16178685
the absolute size is tiny too.
>the average length of an erect penis in a gorilla is 1.25 in.

apparently penis size in apes is correlated with female promiscuity.

>>16173843
>>16174166
>>16174244
>>16177474
Legit know a dude who uses a revolver with .22 shorts.

>>16178322
>get a heavy knife or something similar and and bop it with the back of the knife decisively
Would a machete work?

>>16181219
yeah definitely

>>16180834
>apparently penis size in apes is correlated with female promiscuity.
>humans have one of, if not the largest, dicks among the great apes
Blackpilled again.
And on a cooking board, no less.

>>16174832
His Mormon heritage?

>>16177492
>there are retards that think they could take a gorilla in a fist fight

I hit it with a meat cleaver.

>>16173843
>put it in a plastic bag
>go outside
>smash it against the driveway/patio
>enjoy coconut