/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Perfect.
I m a great guest and host.

My table manners are flawless. My dinner conversation is not ingratiating, however.

>>16079395
i tend to over thank the waiter.

>>16079419
Best way to get a good service.
It s not complicated really,look waiter in the eyes and ask for genuine opinion.
Say thank you with a smile.
He ll remember you next time you re coming and will take care of you in the best way possible.

>>16079440
this sounds like that fake internet advice like tipping the ups guy at the end of the year

>>16079454
It is customary to tip the post man and other service indivuduals annually if you own a home and they assist you in the maintence of your "house" in the classic sense, brining mail to your family and tenents, and notices from the town city or state about taxes and construction.

Since you are a poor tranny faggot living on unemployment you wouldnt understand what civic mindedness is about so no, YOU should never tip your mailman

>>16079395
i eat dinner with the salad fork after skipping the salad.

>>16079454
I guess than 30 years as front of house doesn't count then.
Treat people the way you would like to be treated..
Servers are not servants..

>>16079395
why do those chairs have that big hole in the back?

If you are brought up without British table manners (even if you don't live in the UK) you're a filthy fucking animal.
If you chew with mouth open, you're scum

>>16079413
Everytime I bring up academic discussion around the exact number of people killed in Auschwitz the table usually goes deadly quiet like an allied trench recently filled will mustard gas. They were laughing at my amusing yet tasteful jokes about those with gender dysmorphia only moments earlier too.
Is this bad manners or simply bad company anons?

>>16079484
True. Anybody who can't chew with their mouth closed should just be executed. We have more than enough people to spare at this point, and the overall population would be better off in the end.

>>16079482
You know why

>>16079467
i think you should stop taking drugs and stuff, anon
you're spelling is showing
>>16079475
i don't get it, lol
i ask for the things on the menu and the waiter brings them to me and i give them more money than is on the bill
asking questions sounds more complicated
maybe other people attack the waiters with hatchets or something

>>16079475
People of your ilk are why I can't wait for robots to replace minimum wage beggers

>>16079467
>It is customary to tip the post man
This, Christmas gifts, and their value is understated. They have your bills and deadlines in their reach, and are a valuable source of gossip from the street, the city planning managers, and things local like that.

>>16079467
>>16079518
The writing style of these posts seems quite similar. What vernacular is this?

>>16079503
Don't you want an inside opinion?
I m really honest with my guests and tell them what s really good and not so good and they appreciate it.
Just 2 days ago a returning guest said I was absolutely right in my previous suggestions he ignored on his first visit.
I know my job.
>>16079508
You never experienced good service,enjoy your robot..

>>16079548
>You never experienced good service,enjoy your robot..
Good service would be reading my mind and having my food magically appear at the table, I'd consider tipping for that. Anything else is unnecessary, I don't want some limp wristed simp ruining a meal for me, my friends and my family.

>>16079548
You're always superfluous. Get a real job.

>>16079467
usps workers are wildly fucking overpaid why do you dumbasses tip them for the "civic service" of stuffing your mailbox full of inane shit nobody needs

I’ll leave a nice tip but I’ll do whatever I want. I’m not afraid to eat a steak with my hands

>>16079603
why would you be afraid to eat a steak with your hands? it's not even scary

>>16079395
Are you supposed to wear your jacket like that at the table?

>>16079616
Tell that to the other people at my table, heh.

>>16079567
You have no clue,
We can read guests like open books.
If you think than waiting tables is just bringing plates and clearing them you are clearly mistaken.

>>16079571
I can already tell you than we re here forever.
No robots will ever be able to do what we do.
Enjoy your shit restaurants..

>>16079626
You're delusional, maybe even mentally ill. The sooner people like you get pushed out of the seams of society the better

>>16079632
Ok.
You right...
Thank you for making me realize how much of a failure I am my good sir.

At my welcome party, I turned my chopsticks around when I took something from a communal plate. All of my new coworkers seemed impressed, but also immediately told me I didn't have to do that.
So that was a fun little thing.

>>16079681
so you put the part of the chopsticks that your hands were touching into the communal plate?

>>16079692
You don't hold chopsticks from the back, dude, so no.
I had read that it was considered good manners to use the back for communal plates, as opposed to the front that was in your mouth. Their reaction told me it was, but also overly formal.
The other funny thing is I only drank one beer, which was only commented on years later. I brought up that dinner and one of them said, quite amused, "Oh yeah, when you only drank one beer?" but I didn't drink much at all, so that seemed pretty good at the time.

>>16079714
if you say so
i would just use separate chopsticks or serving utensils

>>16079745
That's brilliant! I can't believe I didn't think of that. I should have used those things were not there.

>>16079801
i ask the waiter and they bring stuff
works for me

I hunch over my plate, put my elbows on the table, and shovel food into my mouth at gaping speeds so I can leave the dirty plate there as fast as possible

>>16079939
This thread is about table etiquette. If you aren't given those things, surely it's a faux pas to ask for them.

>>16079395
I eat with my fingers on laying the sofa like a roman

>>16079395
I eat in my truck

https://www.amazon.com/Tiffanys-Manners-Teenagers-Walter-Hoving/dp/0394828771
read this if you want to be a dinnerchad

this thread is about table manners, now how you pathetic third world retards in the JEWSA need to beg customers and spit in their food just so you have a livable wage.
fucking niggers the lot of you

>>16079530
I first saw it while reading Huck Fin

>>16079487
rule #1 of dinner conversation is to never bring up religion or politics

>>16079626
I don't need a robot to do what you do. I can do it myself. The cook puts my plate on the counter, my buzzer goes off to signal my food is ready, I collect my food. These are the best restaurants, because wait staff only make the experience worse.

>elbows on table the moment you sit down, they do not leave the table til you stand up
>large stack of napkins, or rather paper towels ideally, at my side at all times
>hold silverware like a pencil
>grip plate/bowl with hand not currently holding silver wear to allow maximum control of food intake from plate/blow
>when the food is mostly all gone, take plate/bowl to my mouth and scrap remaining food bits into mouth directly
>finish meal within 10 minutes, not saying a word

If you do not eat like this, you will never be a real man.

>>16079530
AI

>>16079467
Fuck the wagie mailman

>>16079487
at precisely what angle was your fedora tipped at? this is very important

>>16082167
oog

>>16079454
>tipping the ups guy at the end of the year
How is this even possible? They set down the package, ring the doorbell, and run for the truck as fast as possible. Where's the opportunity to even speak to them, let alone offer them tips?

>>16079475
>Treat people the way you would like to be treated..
No, this is a crock of shit. It's not "treat people the way you would like to be treated," it's "treat people the way society expects you to like to be treated and don't be a freak with different preferences." I'm incredibly uncomfortable with being paid money by anyone other than an employer or someone I'm selling a physical item to, so by that logic I shouldn't tip servers. But do you really think saying "I don't tip because I wouldn't want to be tipped" would fly with anyone? This kind of thing happens a lot at my work, managers will say to treat people the way you want to be treated as a sort of company policy for how to approach work. I'll do exactly that, and when questioned I'll explain I do something as I do because if I was on the receiving end that's how I'd like things to be handled. The response from management? "You may like to be treated that way, but not everyone does! You have to do it this other way you hate instead!" Everyone SAYS you should treat people as you like to be treated, but no one actually fucking means it.

>>16079395
Some guy told me to stop putting my elbows on the table and I threw a cup of mustard at him. Fuck that stupid asshole for criticizing me. Lucky I didn’t get up and beat the fuck out of him.

>>16079581
This. 30+ after 10 years to drive a fucking truck and throw packages. Those cunts shouldn’t make more than 15

>>16080019
Imagine making do with subpar equipment. Just ask for more you stupid asshole and stop making up gay stories

>>16085361
The entire point is that it wasn't an inadequate amount of equipment.
Remember how in my original post my coworkers made it clear my gesture wasn't necessary even if it was technically correct? They just used their chopsticks normally. You don't use special serving utensils or serving chopsticks at all. They aren't necessary.

>>16085348
If $30+/hr bothers you wait till they retire and start cashing in on that phat fully paid pension.

>>16079395
she's pretty

>>16082167
>>hold silverware like a pencil
Are you suggesting that people consider this wrong? How the fuck else should you hold it, in a whole fist?

>>16079518
>Christmas gifts
Delivered exclusively by UPS and FedEx among everyone I know.
>They have your bills and deadlines in their reach
I get paperless billing for everything and never send any payments or anything else through the mail.
>valuable source of gossip from the street
They silently deliver mail into my mailbox and I never interact with them, the fuck are you talking about? Mail isn't hand-delivered to you at your door.

Generally not great, I hold my knife and fork the wrong way round

>>16085547
you can go overhand, or underhand. my ex told me overhand was how slaves grip spoons though

>>16079395
Atrocious.
Actually not bad considering how awful I look and dress. I even tend to hold my cutlery all continental 'n' shit because that's how mama taught me - although I've been working on holding the fork tines-side up like a normal non-euro.

>>16086731
wait what do you mean?

>>16079395
this is a completely cultural question, so in the opinion of my friends and family: great, perfectly acceptable, in fact i might even be a little bit of a tightass. In the opinion of some faggot on 4chan: completely disgusting, like some kind of brain damaged third world barbarian, would literally make them vomit if they had to eat with me

>>16079530
Faggot

>>16079395
I've been told I'm a good dinner guest.
I really like fine dining.

honestly pretty terrible
i have gay alien neck syndrome and can't sit up straight for more than ten seconds
i can barely manage a fork and knife
constantly putting elbows on table, leaning on my hand to support my head
eat like a fucking animal that eats quickly and voraciously, can't pace myself worth a damn, always starving
i chew with my mouth closed, at least, and i think that helps