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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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15945282 No.15945282[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>Peggy Hunt is your stereotypical 48 year old woman from Pennsylvania
>She's gotten fat over the years, but still tries to tries to hide it with Walmart clothes
>She's 185 standing at 5'4
> "I have no self esteem" she mumbled to herself, looking at her fat rolls in the mirror
>Her balding husband Charles enters the room, fixing his tie in the same mirror
>"Something the matter, Peg?"
>"Oh we have that get-together later today, the one with you-know-who."
>"The Fotards?" he replied
>"Yep, the new family who moved here from California."
>Charles snickered at the way she said it
>"I just don't feel like I'm cultured enough to talk to them." She said.
>Charles had left sooner than expected, leaving her to talk to herself once more
>Some time had passed since before, it is now time to go to the outing
>She noticed Charles had some bottle sticking out of his shirt
>"Its this Adobo stuff my friends at work were talking about, says it makes meat taste good."
>"I'm taking heed to what you said before about the culture thing, Peggy."
>She smiled, as it gave her an idea
>I'll bring that bottle of expensive vinegar we got for our anniversary last year! The balsamic!"
>"Ooooooh!" Said Charles, smiling
>"That Jack guy on the YouTube always rants and raves about it! He's a professional chef you know."
>She smiled and put it in her purse
>"I'm coming for you, Rachel Fotard!"
>They had just arrived at the Smith's backyard for the cookout
>"SHNAW SHNAW SHNAAAAAW!" (rich people mouth/nose sound)
>She whipped her head around to see Rachel Fotard standing feet behind her, smiling
>"Shnaw hi Peggy! shnaw."
>She shnawed louder
>"H-hi Rachel, where's Cruston?"
>"Shnaw he's coming, he's just grabbing my shnaw purse from the car shnaw."
>"Hi" said Cruston, almost tripping
>"Hibly dibly doo how ya all doing?"
>Nancy Smith's come to greet them
>"Now come in the back yard and see what Gaston is cooking don't ya knoooow"
>Her thick Wisconsin accent came through

>> No.15945305
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15945305

>>15945282

>> No.15945315

>>15945282
The fuck?

>> No.15945321

fuck commiefornia

>> No.15945332

No one actually read the whole post right?

>> No.15945341
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15945341

>>15945282
>tfw lived in 5 states
>all flyover
>all based

>> No.15945343

>>15945332
yeah I did

>> No.15945356

The sheer number of people who move to California from the Midwest is considerable, but the percentage who return home within a few years is much higher.

>> No.15945366
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15945366

>>15945282
tl;dr

>> No.15945375

>Illinois and Texas not flyovers
get a grip coastiefaggots

>> No.15945379

>>15945341
I've lived in flyover states and on along every coast. I'd take the pacific northwest over every single god damn one of 'em

>> No.15945385

>>15945332
I did, and I don't understand the point.
Wasn't funny, wasn't interesting.
Would not recommend.

>> No.15945392
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15945392

>>15945379
We don't want you back either, socialist.

>> No.15945395

>>15945341
based

>> No.15945410

>>15945341
I couldn't hack the Pacific Northwest. The frequent rain was too much.

>> No.15945417

>>15945379
Haven't been to the rural areas so can't speak for them, but in and near Seattle is as bad if not worse than the SF Bay Area.

>> No.15945432

>>15945379
well i live in western montana now so mostly there with you

>> No.15945436

>>15945282
>"I have no self esteem" she mumbled to herself, looking at her fat rolls in the mirror
Ok, hot

>> No.15945449

for me it's california, specifically san francisco

>> No.15945466

>>15945432
Cool just like literally every other Californian
Kys you've ruined the community you entered and ignorance to the fact only proves it more

>> No.15945470

>>15945417
sf and seattle have the highest property crime and lower level crime rates of major cities. people obsess about murder stats as an indicator that it's not safe. murder stats usually involve retarded coloreds shooting other retarded coloreds over drugs and "respect" in hoods you'll never be in. shit like property crime is a better indicator for a normalfag that dumb shit can happen to you even if you keep your nose clean

>> No.15945482
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15945482

>>15945449
I can't go to San Francisco anymore, it has deteriorated beyond repair, and everyone in charge is determined to exacerbate the rot.

>> No.15945491

>>15945466
bro im from ohio and live in a fucking log cabin without a septic system on a private dirt road around a bunch of native montanas who wave guns at people they don't know. im pretty sure i actually assimilated and didn't carpetbag in bozeman like everyone else

>> No.15945510

>>15945491
>Bozeman
I think you argued for me
I run into so many people at big sky traveling talking about moving here soon from a big city
Now houses here cost $1m and a beer costs $15
80% of the license plates during summer are from out of state

>> No.15945527

>>15945282
Pennsylvania isn't even considered flyover by your map

>> No.15945612

>>15945510
living in bozeman just completely defeats the purpose of living in montana to me. Im not talking about natives who've always lived there just what it is now and wanting to move into it as is now. an overpriced city full of transplant faggots like a lot 9000 other places in the us except there's pretty mountains to look at in the background

montana should make a law that if you want to move here you can but you can't live in bozeman for the first year. that would get rid of 90% of the fags that don't assimilate

>> No.15945627

>>15945332
I did. I was expecting a punchline or something. I feel like OP got distracted or ran out of time ooooorrr......?