/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>umami
>mouthfeel

>>15841414
Honestly if you use any term other than 'delicious' or 'tasty' to describe your food, you are a redditor

>>15841430
yea mouthfeel really pisses me off

>>15841441
great
spicy
sweet
etc., wordlet

>>15841461
Why? It is a necessary word. There are no direct synonyms.

>bite to eat

>>15841482
You mean like "texture"?>>15841482

>>15841461
Mouthfeel is used to describe beer. I make beer and if you fuck up and put wrong ingredients in, like too much sugar and no maltodextrine it feels watery and horrible in your mouth. When you add some maltodextrine it gives it sort of like this great feeling in your mouth that makes it good. It's hard to explain, but I've only ever heard it used to describe beer.

>>15841430
this.
Only hipster faggots use these words.

>>15841493
Not the same. Cannot be used to describe sensations and viscosity.

OISHII~~~

>>15841414
“VEGGIES”

JUST SAY VEGETABLES

>>15841513
Texture is a tactile sensation, and viscosity also refers to texture. So, how retarded are you, exactly?

>>15841513
It do

>>15841441
Whiskey is not "tasty"

>>15841539
You use sentences like "this has a thin texture" and I'm the idiot.

>>15841560
You use sentences like "this has a good mouthfeel" and you are, in fact, the idiot.

Bro I just love this umami mouthfeel and mouthtaste and mouthsmell and mouthsight and mouthsound!

Me eat rawfish on riceyrice because me like mouthfeel. Me like add green grasspear because me also like that mouthfeel.

>>15841507
umami is a technical term

^imagine getting this mad over a word

I hate when anyone uses any descriptor while talking about my food.
Actually, I hate it even if they’re not talking about my food, it can’t be any food.
Actually, I hate it when people talk and I can hear them or see them.

Me use brainpictures, think of man who word makes angry. Me laugh and enjoy mouthfeel of other men.

>>15841414
i made a thread about a year ago about how gay "yummy" sounds and the faggots all teased me about it

>>15841533
this fucking HELL
babies
veggie weggie meaty weaty milky wilky!
CUNTS

>>15841430
mouthfeel is an important factor and there isn't another term to replace it

>>15841668
Texture
>Texture
Texture
>Texture
Texture
>Texture
Texture
>Texture

>>15841576
>>15841533
>>15841584
>>15841599
>>15841662
may your burdensome autism drive you to suicide

>>15841675
>Texture
>>Texture
>Texture
>>Texture
>Texture
>>Texture
>Texture
>>Texture
not quite the same

Flavour Explosion.

>>15841685
>noun
>the visual and especially tactile quality of a surface
>Ex the cake has a heavy texture
Or in your faggot newspeak: the cake has a heavy MOUTHFEEL. As much as fags like you insist 2+2=5, I'll be there to point out that you're wrong, retarded, and gay.

Deconstructed Lasagne
Deconstructed Tiramisu
Deconstructed Apple Pie
Deconstructed

>>15841712
The next restaurant I see, offering a deconstructed anything, I'm going to deconstruct brick by brick.

Beef Reduction
Elderflower Reduction
Onion Reduction
Cream Reduction
Reduction

>>15841710
>oh no he called me retarded and gay, what a wake up call
i'm going to keep saying mouthfeel and you're going to seethe and squirm like an autistic little boy, how's that?

>>15841735
i'm gonna reduce the tightness in your mom's cunt

>>15841740
No lie, some smug faggot tried to have this argument with me at the bar last week, until I broke his nose and made him say "texture". I hope it was you.

>>15841735
"Reduction" is an actual culinary term, though, unlike "mouthfeel".

>>15841414
"Toothy"

>>15841783
>i broke another man's nose at the bar over this
i know that's a dumb lie but god damn you're autistic, you're literally violent over this

>>15841642
Clearly you are based

>>15841827
Yes, and if you give me this same smug lip in real life, I'd break your nose, as well.

>>15841807
I have only ever heard that term in the context of "a toothy grin"

>>15841838
we got a real live internet tough guy here
you absolute dipshit, go fellate a shotgun barrel

>>15841839
I work at an Italian restaurant, and all the 35+ women say they want their pasta "toothy"

Ladies and gentlemen, the Based Department has decided to add some new ground rules to our company policy:
1) Do not say "yummy."
2) Do not use "umami."
3) Do not use "mouthfeel". Use "texture" instead.
4) Do not say "veggies." Say "vegetables" instead.
5) Do not use "toothy."
Any complaints about the new policy must be expressed in the form of a vocaroo.

>>15841414
Sharcuterie and accoutrements are silly words for silly people

>>15841430
Anyone who hates these words is a faggot who doesn’t know shit about food, or language.

>>15841414
>sammich
>sammies
>american spelling of doughnut

>>15841888
https://voca.ro/1iUJFW7FohIB

>>15841414
"Delicious"

>>15841905
doughnught

>>15841919
Fuck off, retard.

>>15841552
Then you are doing it wrong.

UNCTUOUS

>>15841982
https://voca.ro/1joL8mviFUAa

UMMY YUMMY DADDYS CUMMY IN MY TUMMY

>>15841527
That's literally just "delicious" in another language. Broaden your horizons, Trumpkin.

I just can't resist:
https://youtu.be/Sz4TT3QoPJw

>>15841905
American or no "donut" drives me up the wall. It's made of 'dough' not 'do' - it's three fucking letters.

>>15841441
Ever heard of the word 'good'?

>>15841414
Bone broth. It's a fucking stock. It's been stock for hundreds of years.

>>15841414
Treat.

>>15842044
Yeah, that's what I was referring to. I couldn't bring myself to say it.

>>15841919
You make a compelling argument, my friend.
Mouthfeel is now allowed unless there are any further objections.

>>15842047
>food good
What are you a fucking caveman?

>>15841414
foodie

>>15842104
>”Wow anon, this food is really good!”
You fucking autist

>>15841642
4chan is a fickle beast

I hate yummy, scrumptious and when people say brekky instead of breakfast.

>>15842104
Its the word I use to describe your subpar cooking without hurting your feelings

>>15841807
I've heard toothsome but toothy is a new one for me

>>15842104
In essence, yes. A caveman with a smartphone

The words veg and veggies also get on my nerves.

>>15841642
Probably because you type like a fuckwit
>>15842108
>noooo! Use my awkward sounding french words instead!!!!! NooOO!O!OO!!!

>>15842108
This is another one I agree with

Conflating artisan and artesian, and using either to describe anything.

>>15841414
not food related, but people who say "stimmy" really make me seethe. it's peak soi

>>15842077
https://voca.ro/12JJ8PJJzCIX

>>15842258
>i forgot what the fifth one was...
Yummy, motherfucker...kek

>>15842276
I said "oishi" so that counts as "yummy".

>>15842276
Fuck you ha ha ha

>>15842308
>looks at OP
>looks at response
>OP
>Response
Welp, this is above my pay grade, my work here is done, I'm out.

>>15841839
You've never had a toothy blowjob?

>>15842165
>Use my awkward sounding french words instead
given how much language we already stole from the french you might as well keep it going
Also Agincourt best day of my life

>>15842017
Didn’t listen. Still, fuck off, retard.

>>15842450
Eat my shit encrusted asshole, you cumguzzling worthless piece of maggot shit.

>>15841901
Umami is fine. Just a more descriptive form of savory really. Mouthfeel niggers can fuck right off however.

>>15841414
'supper'
I don't know why. It drives me nuts

Flavourful. Fucking gay made up word. Just say flavoursome or tasty or just shut your hole.

>>15841414
>Bunless burger
>Turkey less turkey roast
>Meatless meatballs
>Milkless Cheeze
IS THIS SOME FUCKING SEINFELD KITCHEN?

>>15841676
>actual site users see a thread and contribute accordingly
>redditor comes in and complains
NOOOOOO YOU CANT DISLIKE WORDS THEY HAVE NUANCED MEANINGS NOOOOOOO

>>15841869
al dente?

>>15842500
>my shit encrusted asshole
>I'm a filthy pleb who can't into hygiene
Anon...that's gotta be the weirdest retort I've ever seen here.

>>15842500
You're a grown ass man and can't wipe your ass? Get your shit together

>>15842905
Arm doesn't reach back that far.

>>15842898
>isn't "what in tardation"
literally retarded

>>15842908
OOF!

>>15842924
>it's a retard saying it
>not using an apostrophe
You're really WOW-ing us tonight, Aspie
Awwww, here, for to soothe your shattered psyche

>>15841430
Everyone just calls shit umami now and thinks they're a chef.

There's no such thing as an open faced sandwich. It's not a sandwich if it's "open faced".

>>15843050
Horseshoe Chad here.

>>15841441
rent-free

>>15843058
Good go away with your garbage.

>>15843058
Im sure that's tasty, but it's not a sandwich.

>>15843019
lmao you sound like the shattered one to me cowboy

>>15843323

are you guys old enough to remember yum-o

>>15841414
scramp-daddily-doo -dumptious
scroodle-ishus-yum-yam
cock thrusting outly yumzo
I hate all those terms I think

>>15841414

Bubble and Squeak. It means fucking nothing. Its the product of shallow, misguided, middle class vegetarianism. It's just lazy and unimaginative. If you insist on going vegetarian don't insult the rest of us by calling good honest meat free food like Tofush and Chips anything other than what it is "Fish" and "Chips" you cunts.

>>15843340

>>15841539
so what texture is it when chillie burns your mouth? or when an unripe kiwi makes it all prickly? or when menthol or mint cools your mouth?

Why do retards not comprehend that your mouth can feel more than the texture of food, did they only start thinking about food last week? Are they all this new?

>>15843412
>Grapes of Wrath
fitting.

>>15841414
Eat
Delicious
Food
Like
Ingredient/Ingredients
Measure
Cup

Just anything in that ballpark

>>15843463
>Are they all this new?
...or trolling.
4chinbs has been getting raided all week--maybe the inept bunker troons are getting bored with the Nazis and decided to shit fling in other venues?

>>15843479
>eat
can't wait to consume my favourite product!

>>15841503
>too much sugar in beer

do americans really?
I'm really glad, that some guy invented the Reinheitsgebot over 500years ago...

>>15843515
alright then continue saying eat your entire life like a loser and continue to think about why nobody loves you

>>15843517
>What is Malt?
1-800-C'MON_NOW!

>>15841414
I hate when people say "vej"
like OI LES GETUS SUM MEAT AND VEJ INNIT
Just say Vegeta you fucking posers

>>15841414
>mfw my language literally only has 2 words to describe the taste or how tasty something is
>only way to make something sound more or less tasty than something else is by how much you pretend to jizz your pants when you say the word

>>15843517
When you heat malt it converts into sugars you retard. And the German purity Law exists in myth only now. It's no longer law.

>OOOOOOOOOUUUUUU MAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

>>15841414
"Silverware"
"Flatware"
"Cutlery"
"Eating utensils"

It's called FEEDITURE, people!

>>15841414
Yummy for me as well.
If you’re not a child or mentally retarded you have no business ever using that word.

>>15843343
apparently not

it is the worst word though

>>15844112
I call them hands desu

>>15841552
nor is it food.

"Artisan"
For the obvious reason that it's stuck to random fast-food sandwiches for the sake of getting yuppies to bite

>hand-made
If a human is making it, I assume they used their hands.

>>15844250
>rustic

>>15841430
Umami is just the sweetly and salty and savory flavor you find I n soy sauce
Mouthfeel is just another word for texture
This is why English is so hard to learn, too many bullshit words and phrases made up by retards to make themselves sound smart

>>15842017
I listened anon :)
You sound like the “nahzis” guy from that one Tarantino movie

>>15841414
Umami of course

>>15844345
Mouthfeel incorporates texture, but it's more than that.

Sneed

>>15844499
Based

>>15841414
"Scrumptious" is the worst food word. Debate me.

I want to kill people who use “comfy”

>>15842059
This

>>15841533
Absolutely can’t stand the word veggies.

>>15841414
All-Natural Non-GMO Organic

>>15844559
No one wants to debate you.

>>15841414

>>15844559
It's a good word to use sarcastically. Kind of outdated and awkward to use unironically though

I don't really mind the word itself but I hate how so many people are uptight about"organic" food. To me, organic just means "we're going to omit a bunch of modern agricultural advances that people think will give you cancer regardless of how many safety studies get done, and then we're going to charge you more for it."

>>15841430
wow you got me angry in just two words, good job

>>15841888

>>15842108
I don't like the word either, but claiming it's not a word at all just makes you sound like a Reddit cunt who mistakes aggressive snobbery about tiny details for being an interesting person.
Same kind of asshole who will pretend to be genuinely upset about pineapple on pizza or cream in Carbonara. I don't like those things either but no adult should ever throw a fit about them.

>>15841905
Duffnut

>>15842165
Based and fuckwit pilled

>>15842104
>food delicious, food tasty
As if that's any better you fucking dipshit lol

>>15842631
All words are made up bro.
Your face when...

>>15841414
Delish

>>15842724
I make bunless burgers more often than I do bun burgers in bun burger burger in bun burgers. Mostly because I don't plan what I'm going to cook until I got to cook.

>yummy
>cummy
>cunny
sounds cute and funny pilled to me

>>15842724
Lettuce wrapped burgers are pretty good.

>>15844938
Just put the lettuce in the burger.

>>15844935
Pedophilia la so heckin cute and valid

No white women want honey from european beehives. They all worship the ABH (africanized bee honey).

calling spicy flavor "heat" annoys me for some reason. maybe because it doesnt have much to do with actual temperature idk

>>15841414
moist

if anyone you're dating says "yummy" or "yucky" unironically, get the hell out of there

kind of related: was reading google reviews yesterday for restaurants in my city and there was a woman complaining she got vegetables in her meal and how she's allergic to them

people who hide behind food allergies instead of admitting they're picky fuckers deserve the rope

>>15844947
Well, spicy just sounds it has a lot of spices. And hot just likes the food is literally hot. No good words. Fix the English languge.

>>15845155
Pungent/piquant

>>15841414
Restaurants that advertise scampi and serve you shrimp are the fucking worst. I live in germany and i think it is technicaly even illegal to do this but it is still wildly common. At this point even most people do not know what scampi really are and have never eaten them but claim the otherwise.

>>15845162
Pungent sounds like something's off with it.
Piquant sounds French.

>>15841414
"""goodness"""

>>15841414
Food porn
Cooking hacks

>>15843920
>all sugar comes from malt
The law still exists but it's not as strict anymore

When people use the word "authentic" as if it immediately makes it superior to all other forms of that food

>>15841414
anybody who says "hubby" and "wifey" should be shot like disgusting pigs

>>15844947
Never heard that, only heard people calling something hot spicy.

schadenfreude

>>15841560
>>15841503
>>15841668
>>15841838
>>15844470
it's a meme, if it wasn't a meme people would be saying 'feel' without the mouth- prefix because the body part you are using to feel the food is unambiguous. cunt retards

>>15841642
only women and closet homos say 'yummy'

>>15841890
SACRE BLEU UN AMERICAIN SALOPE DE MERDE

If words bother you so much then you're still an edge adolescent teenager. Fuck off.

>>15846080

>>15845144
Did I deserve the rope when I was 8 and at my pals birthday party and said I was allergic to butterscotch since I didn't like butterscotch at the time and the cake was butterscotch?

>>15841414
Rachel Ray started the trend of not finishing your words and saying shit like "delish" instead of saying "delicious". That sort of annoys me I guess.

>>15846274
You deserved to be destroyed like D@!$Y

>>15846328
*gulp*

>>15846337

>>15845924
When the hell does "feel" in this sense not mean by touch of skin?

>>15841414
“Please stop”

When someone says that whatever they're eating 'melts' in their mouth.

>>15841533
what about 'greens'?

>>15841704
Thats gay

>>15841414
za
goat
kino
based
evoo
sammy
brekkie
tastelet (misnomer since most "tastelets" are super tasters.)
any childish shortening of any food related word.

My mom will say “it’s got good flavor” and that rustles my jimmies in ways I can’t describe

>>15843365
What the fuck is "bubble and squeak" supposed to mean? It sounds like some latex fetish bullshit.

>>15841560
>this has a thin texture
what the fuck? do you say "this has a thin mouthfeel"?
>>15845924
everything that people say is a "meme". it all comes from someone who started saying it and becoming adopted by everyone else. so now people say "mouthfeel". despite it being a "meme" it's still a thing that people say.
>>15842537
>>15841612
nope umami are faggots. we already have the word savory, people who say umami are trying really hard to sound like some kind of culinary geniuses.

>>15841441
I like saying yummo so fuck you

Everybody ITT can go fuck off. This is how language works. Us in the culinary field (I'm a food reviewer with a more than modest following on Twitter) use certain words because they comprise our technical lexicon. When we say "mouthfeel", "umami", "sharable", "forkable", "slap-your-mama spicy", etc, every other expert in the culinary field knows what we're talking about. It's an extremely useful shorthand - the kind that exists in EVERY specialization. Engineers, doctors, scientists, etc all have a language that they use between one another. So do we, as culinary experts. Those in the civilian world criticizing our language don't know what you're talking about. You're trying to argue with literal experts on matters you know extremely little, if anything, about. Do yourself a favor and read a fucking book. And I'm not talking about your anime porn comic books either. Spend more time in the kitchen and less time policing the language of people who literally create and curate the food you spend your days posting about. We provide a valuable service while you do exactly jack shit for the world of culinary arts. So step aside and let the experts do our thing.

Peace.

>scalions
THEY'RE CALLED SPRING ONIONS YOU FUCKING OBESE RETARDS! YOU WOULDNT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ANYWAYS SINCE THEY ARENT IN CHEETO FORM.

>>15848122
you forgot the windmill of peace

>>15848122
spring onions have a bulb dumbdumb

>>15844927
yeah, this one for sure

>>15848052
Mouthfeel is good or bad

>>15841414
>dish

>>15841430
What's a replacement for umami? Meaty?

>>15848344
savory

Lovely

>>15841414
badwrong

>>15848283
ah yes, for retards who need a simple solution

>>15850078
Idiot

I know this will sound really strange but I always hated the word "lunch". For some reason I cringe when people say things like "I'm going to have some lunch." I hate the sound of the word.

>>15850457
Where do you stand on Luncheon?

Then how do you call "lunch"

>>15841414
>gooey
>rustic

>>15841430
What the fuck do I use other than mouth feel then faggot. Like drinking a soda and drinking water feel different, doing different shit to a sauce makes it feel different. It's an important part of food.

>>15844947
Eating a spicy food and then experiencing an extreme, animalistic, unstoppable urge to fuck

>vibrant
>exciting
>uplifting

>>15841414
Creamy

>>15847854
it sounds like someone’s trying to write closed captions for a scene of a rat drowning

>>15847854
I think it’a supposed to be the sound of the vegetables being fried?

>>15851374
texture

>>15851388
Nobody says that.

>>15847854
I don't know what that other anon is talking about. Its a real dish, just leftover veg fried together. Americans would probably call it hash.

I don't know if this counts but I hate words like Incredible, Amazing, and Awesome

Maybe if a recipe really is way out there, and has exceptionally good results I could see why you'd use that but its used to describe food that's just normal quality

They're not "Incredible Pancakes" if you're using a basic recipe

>>15843365
>Bubble and Squeak
>the product of shallow, misguided, middle class vegetarianism.
You must live in some weird sheltered little bubble world if you think BnS is some uniquely middle class modern yuppie invention. It's typically eaten by working class families, cooked on a monday using the leftovers from the sunday roast. It goes good with some cheap sausages and whatever scraps of beef are left over.

t. born in a working class family up norf and ate more than his fair share of bubble and squeak for tea on mondays

>>15851490
I have literally never heard someone use this expression in my entire life until right now.

>>15851524
Then you can consider this your educational and formative experience for the day.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_and_squeak

>>15841414
Not a word, but I despise the cooking videos that are just an overhead shot of the pan with the directions as white subtitles. The hands always have this effeminate, dramatic flair while adding ingredients or stirring that makes my blood boil. It's difficult to articulate.

>>15841430
>umami
Oedipus complex detected

>>15845841
>the wife
>adulting

>>15851528
Of-fucking-course it's a British dish. Why are the brits so compelled to give all their food such infantile names?

Treat. When people say “I’m going to have a little treat! Would you like a treat? What a tasty treat!” it makes me feel angry.

>>15841414
>umami

I hate the word "vegetal". Stupid fucking word. I also hate when people use the word "brightness" to describe vinegary / citrus tastes. It's not bright it's just fucking sour. Fuck off.

>>15841414
I can't stand when I'm eating with someone and they say the meal "has good flavor." Just say it tastes good, we both know you don't have a very developed palate which is fine, but don't try and act like you're sophisticated by describing the flavor as
>good

>>15842414


>>15842414
>Also Agincourt best day of my life
Based and longbow-pilled

>watching britbong cooking show
>mfw "scrummy"
ATTENTION ALL ANGLOS -- I can put most of your flaws past you, and I'm sure you hate yourself more than anyone else does, but you have really got to put a stop to this

Heterogeneity

>>15851588
No need to hike your trousers on it m8 just learn to ignore lousy wobbles and you'll be tippy up.

>>15851970
You sound like a pedantic faggot.
It’s a regular occurrence for something to have a good flavor but unpleasant texture.
There’s nothing wrong with differentiating.

>>15852036
What's wrong with this one?

>>15852167
You sound like a retard. This is literally the only thing they'll say and it's usually someone who eats potatoes for 2 of their daily meals.

>>15851577
Wouldn't it be the opposite, since that anon is hating on it?

>>15842028
than say delicious you pretentious faggot

>>15841414
Anything fagusea says

>>15842108
gourmet makes me think of someone who actually knows his shit
"""foodie""" is some girl who thinks putting photos of novelty milkshakes decorated with like half a whole cake on her instagram is a good substitute for having a personality