/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Who?

>>15822348
you fucking newfag
RRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>15822348
please be bait.

Let me forget.

>>15822252
the only jack I remember is this dude name candlejack and it's not even a good-

simply lovecraftian

>>15822511
this infuriates me every time i see this. how do you get this far in life and think this will work on such a hardy vegetable without boiling it first

>>15822543
Imagine the smell

>>15822529
that's babish, anyone recognize what video it was from?

>>15822252
I’m pretty open to trying odd foods and recipes, but a certain generation of women’s recipes just needs to die off already

>>15822543
Is that really a recipe from his aunt or did he invent that abomination and wanted a wholesome name for it? I've always been curious.

And for the record, I have a very open mind for food, but there's only so many times you can frown while watching someone cook before starting to think he's messing with you.

>>15822529
That has to be on purp...
>Babbish
oh it's part of the skit.

>>15822543
Successful bait. That looks so fucking wrong.

>>15822252
2:05

>doesn't want to use wooden spoon because ingredients will stick to the spoon

2:35

>switches to wooden spoon

4:07

>recommends not using off-brand or sugar free whipped cream because it "has a different reaction" than Cool Whip
>it's his first attempt at this dish

His older videos are great. Even after multiple views you pick up on little moments of retardation that you never noticed before.

>>15822252
How has he not died yet after two strokes?

>>15822932
More like how has he not cum yet

I wish I could kidnap Jack. I’d wait until he was filming a Jack on the Go episode and I’d make my move. I would distract Tammy away from the scene by throwing a brick through their stupid fucking car, then I’d approach Jack. I’d tell him the time has come for me to review him, at which point I would whip out the chloroform and tell the snuffling pig to take a good long sniff.

Once out for the count, and having used a whole bottle to drop the fat fuck, I’d have him wheeled out back and loaded onto a forklift.

Taking him down to my basement I’d ensure he was held down and restrained with plenty of chains to prevent the fat fuck jiggling.

‘Wh-Whaaissrhishh’ he would slurr. Attempting to wave his stroke arm, for I left it unrestricted, it is useless to him after all.

As he comes to, I begin to show off the various tools I’ll be reviewing with him: the Graty, the SlapChop, the Big City Slider Station, the Meat Claws, you name it we’re reviewing it.

His screams would never be heard in the soundproof room, and Tammy would only have just waddled back from the car to realise he’s missing.

I fire up my blowtorch to begin the cook. I tell him my first step is to make slow cooker pulled pork as I eye up his belly.

I equip the meat claws.

‘Come on in close’ I say, grinning malevolently.

>>15823136
>reddit spacing
Plus it's not funny and probably copypasta.

>>15823169
How’s the arm Jack?

>>15822252
I was watching this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D9bqQJZoLg

and in it, Jack says that green vegetables retain their green colour if you blanch them.

IS THIS TRUE??

>>15822932
modern medicine is keeping a lot of retards alive that would have otherwise been weeded out a 100 years ago

His son is a Christian rapper

https://youtu.be/eO6e5k6Vvnc?t=271
you like your chicken moist, right anon?

>>15822348
The Master of Mayonnaise you fucking heretic

>>15823233
We are all his sons.

some men just want to watch the world come in close

>>15822252
every time I see these threads I still watch every webm and still laugh my fucking ass off. un fucking real.

study the blade

I need the good Ja/ck/ webms hook me up

>>15823706
He was trolling right? The whole time? I can't believe he wasn't, look at how many shots he gives us of completely fucking up cutting the meat.

>>15823794
The best part about Jack is that he's never trolling. He thinks he's a youtube celeb and expects people to take him seriously

Does anyone here have the jack pepe edit? The one where theres a lot of text

>>15823706
You think he would learn how to cook before shooting the videos

>>15822932
He had a second stroke? When and how bad did it mess him up the 2nd time?

>>15824073
Few years ago. It's how his right arm became useless and atrophied.

>>15823169
You literally don't know what Reddit spacing is.

I just got on to ck to make a jack thread, and here its top of the board.

And so, I begin my work.

>>15822491
You're not supposed to put a dash, newfag

>>15822252
days go by and still I think of you
days when I could live my life without you

>Jackposting is back
I pity the dead who can no longer know such joys.

>>15822561
i think the sopranos food episode
t. autist for the sopranos

I think this video in particular deserves some backstory.

He bought this meat, and shoved it in his fridge, and left it in the back of his freezer for two entire years. He realized it was back there, and took it out and cooked it immediately without defrosting it. He left it on for so long he burnt it directly skipping thawing, so that the inside was frozen still and the outside was charred burnt.

HE THEN ENTERED THIS INTO A COOKING CONTEST, AND SAID IT WAS RIGGED WHEN HE DID NOT WIN.

>>15824323
why would you even know any of that much less decide to post your faggot ass story?

>>15824329
>he doesn't know the jack chronicles.
>he doesn't see the value of passing down the written culture of the board.

Don't you have some homework to be doing anon?

>>15824323
Based historian. I never heard that parable of wisdom.

>>15823832
He originally did it to advertise his sauces. Kind of like how you might get a webpage simply to have an online billboard for your business he set up a youtube channel to hawk his product online but it saw some success and the channel became the product. He does not claim to be a good cook but rather a lazy half asser and it shows in most of his work.

>>15824405
Hehe oobleck.

>>15824343
yeah i don't pay attention to any of that shit the videos are funny but who the fuck cares about anything else

>>15823812
I don't know what you're talking about specifically

balsamic reduction hamburger, oohh you know it's going to be good

>>15824323
lmao

>>15824444
based ja/ck/uads

gotta go fast

>>15823812

>>15824329
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrcW5rqFUn0

>>15824491
KEK. I haven't watched his channel since like 2012. Glad to see he is still trolling with product reviews and other dumb shit for the lulz.

Anyone have the webm where a fly falls into some sort of egg mixture, but Jack doesn't notice and pours it into whatever he's cooking?
>>15824418
>>15824500
He's basically a neet at this point so it's very apt.

>>15824526
can't keep a sloppa down

>>15824555
LMAO, did he go to prison at some point the last 10 years or something?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9kwmXwLTNo
>General Tso's Chicken - China

remember that time he choked out his son?

>>15824569
convicted of juiciness in the first degree

There is no way this guy isn't trolling why would he upload clearly retarded things like >>15824191 instead of doing another take.

we've all been there

>>15824219
Honestly the funniest part is that he still has the sticker on it lmao

>>15824547
took me a while but here it is

>>15824187
This shit gets funnier the more I look at it. How do you screw up waffles?

>>15824633
What the fuck is that salt? That's like a 1:2 ratio of salt to eggs.

>>15824311
gabagool haha

i know we make fun of jack a lot but i really feel bad for him
there is something so unfathomably sad about a man his age dealing with a dead hand and still posting to youtube as if he gets millions of views

>>15822531
I mean honestly even just a little saline bath for like an hour and cutting it in half to have a stable press surface would help alot.

>>15822252
Remember that time he blew up that autistic kid's spot, fuckin bully.

>>15824666
Hail SATAN! Would make the eggs runny as fuck too if that's salt.

>>15824323
>jack is an IPAchad
lmao stoutbros how will you ever recover????

>>15824891
Not my problem that fat fuck kept getting the salmonella and finally stroked out from it, now he's a burden to society.

>>15824445
for jack's usual garbage this could be a lot worse

>all he cooks is keto shit now

booooring

>>15824891
Nah he's a fucking asshole

>>15823706
this makes me angry