/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15701530

I don't

In a monster can

>>15701530
Like my women; sweet and full of my cream

>>15701544
You cum in your coffee?

>>15701530
Caffeinated - it's the only criterion I stick by 100% of the time.

>>15701555
What the fuck no I put cream in my coffee

I unironically just like it black with no sugar. Easier to make too.

>>15701558
I have caffeinated in the morning, but decaff in the afternoon, because otherwise it keeps me awake at night.

>>15701593
I've never had that problem. I wind up kicking myself out of lucid dreams if I have some right before bed... but I like it cold, hot, black, with dairy, with non-dairy dairy, frothy, flat, sweet, as ice cream, as syrup, as mousse, as a rum and vanilla soaked vapour gently wafted over a dessert plate by an obvious lesbian in spotless, overtailored whites, with a vantablack apron...

Anyone else use an Aeropress?

>>15702044
yeah, inverted as the prismo attachment has started leaking.

>>15702134
Prismo? Anyway yeah I do it inverted too, because otherwise the liquid seeps through the filter while it's still brewing.

>>15702150
Prismo is an attachment/metal filter that stops the leaking when brewing upright. So no need for the inverted method. Also you can use more water with the upright method when using the Prismo.

>>15702332
I see thanks.

When doing my normal inverted method today, I did actually notice, upon turning it the right way up and putting it over the mug, that it only leaked a small amount of coffee for a few seconds (this is the standard paper filters). After that it stopped dripping any coffee until I plunged it. I guess maybe the coffee settled, and thus blocked the filter paper. So maybe I could use it upright in the future. Maybe I'll test it next time.

Then again there's not much disadvantage to brewing upside down. I do just worry about someone knocking it over though, because it's a bit more precarious when it's upside down.

today i woke up drank a pint of black coffee and went back to sleep for an hour

I still don't know how to make good cuppa' coffee with a moka pot. I read hours about different methods, tried everything, from the amount of coffee, to grinding my own fresh coffee (tried coarse and fine ground), different extracting speeds, nothing helped. Then one day, after having used one for a few months already, I stopped lying to myself and finally admitted that it tastes like SHIT. Are these things a meme pushed by wannabe Italians?

>>15702349
You'll always get more dripping using the standard method without a Prismo no matter what. No way around it. It's not the end of the world anyway.

>>15702382
Never used a moka pot. How does it taste like shit? Too bitter or something? What are your preferred brewing methods?

Two shots, hot water or sometimes iced, no sugar or milk. If I'm hungover, lots of milk and ice cream and cream on top.

Either way it makes me shit my insides out and sweat badly, get edgy and anxious and have trouble sleeping even 14 hrs later.

does anyone rate the baratza sette 30?

>>15702438
we don't reply to pasta around here

I have a simple question. I froth milk with integrated steam wand of espresso machine. I can't foam milk enough before heating it up. I mean only little amount of milk froths and have micro foam, but most of it remains hot liquid. What position should I try with steam wand?

>>15701544
Full of milk

>>15702382
if you try to make an espresso, it will always end up as shit. i gave up and tried to achieve something more enjoyable like clear filter coffee.

initally pour boiling water. i have 6 cup pot and put around 60-70% coffee of basket volume. so that you won't have overextracted result. you can adjust it for your taste. apply the highest heat on it. when coffee comes up, lower the heat. take it off before spurting.

my result is not what you expect from moka pot. i love espresso but as i said, you will get shit if you try to get espresso with moka pot. but trying this method gives you feeling of filter coffee but extracted properly (feels stronger in mouth but with same aromas)

>>15702556
Is it pasta? I haven't seen it before. But then I don't visit every coffee thread.

It looks like a genuine post to me, doesn't look like a troll post really.

>>15702603
gets posted every thread

>>15702613
Decided to check. Looks like you have a point.

>>15702837
The aluminum melted his brain.

>>15701530
Black and straight from the pot.

Straight expresso on the morning and after meals

>>15702893
>expresso
Let’s go, son.

>>15701530
expresso, no sugar

>>15702928
i blame that fascist Bialetti, no one would ever spell it with an X if he hadn't.

>>15702893
>>15702940
>expresso

>>15701530
Black, like my soul.

>>15703346
You like to leave your instant coffee in a little mound at the bottom, not stirred into the water?

I assume that's instant, because who would put coffee grounds into a mug?

I memepressed this using recipe #14 here https://handground.com/grind/66-recipes-for-amazing-aeropress-coffee
Except I used hotter water and I took too long to press. Came out just a little thin so I'm going to try again but with a finer grind. I also tried #18 twice but didn't like it at all

>>15703569
Pretty sure that's for turkish

>>15703569
It's a reference to some dumb infographic meme chart, popular on this board.

>>15702044
Yes. Meant to reply to you here >>15703586

best set up for espresso for under 200$? i know it wont be perfect and the general consensus is 200$ grinder and a manual press but those things come to around 400.

>>15703569
obviously i stir it

>>15703614
You're out of luck at that price for machine and grinder I think. Flair Neo and Baratza Encore is at least 250

>>276975
Ya seethe bitchtits?

>>15704054
i'm canadian so i've been looking at used baratza encore + a used rok gc which will at the very least be 350 cad or 275 usd. are normie brevilles and the like really so bad?

>overrated, overpriced piece of shit that can't even make proper espresso
who the fuck buys this shit?

>>15704080
is this moka fag cope?

hey lads
what's a basic, simple grinder i can use that won't fuck up my coffee and is fairly efficient on both price and spacing
don't need anything fancy or electric

>>15704097
remi is great

I like my coffee waaaaay spicy.

>>15702364
unthamobaly based

>>15701530
Pour-over. I used to be all about french press, but pour-over was a complete game changer for me. Shitload easier to clean up, too.

>>15704080
Are you the larper poster? It makes espresso comparable to the Flair or Robot. Probably more consistent than the Flair. Post your output next to the machine.

>>15702958
>espresso literally means "expressed"
kill yourself

>>15704122
You mean "espressed".

>>15704119
>implying i would own that overhyped garbage
i bet you own apple products too, retard

>>15704122
it doesn't matter what it means, that's not how it's spelled you cunt rag

>>15704143
So you're just a fantasist. I do not own any Apple products, ya simp.

>>15704136
fucking retard

>>15704168
Italians are the ones who don't know how to spell, faggot

>>15704169
your moka pot will never make espresso. and you will never be a woman.

>>15703614
https://flairespresso.com/product/the-neo/

You're going to have to deal with preground shit for a bit, but once you've got the scratch for a grinder you just buy the non pressurized basket and you're set.

>>15704175
>retard who can't detect irony calling others retarded
You played yourself, you dumb bitch.

>>15704182
It does and I'm glad, because I don't want to be one. Don't project your tranny fantasies onto me.

>>15704068
>are normie brevilles and the like really so bad?
yes.

>>15704186
>i was only le pretending to be le retarded!

>>15704204
Cope however you must, but you got here by being a retard and nothing can change that.

>>15704099
>$228
I'm not a gearqueer dude I just want a decent fucking coffee grinder

>>15704236
if you're making espresso, that IS a "decent" grinder you retarded faggot
don't make a hobby out of coffee if you're working at McDonald's

somebody help me with my french press.

no matter what I do my coffee is just generally very watery. I cannot seem to condense my joe.
I usually add a small amount of whole milk to my coffee, and due to the watery consistency of my french press product just a splash of milk affects the color greatly.

Any tips? I grind my own beans and i've been trying to up the amount of grind I use and the duration of steep time

>>15704284
What part of "I'm not a gearqueer" do you not understand? You're the type of dumb nigger who buys big flashy rims for his broken down Cadillac.

>>15704284
he never asked for a espresso grind you turbo tard, go shill your shit somewhere else

>>15704236
I mean it'll last a decade at least. Are you too broke to spend $23 a year on a better morning? Seems like a no brainer to me.

>>15704188
>she thinks moka coffee is espresso
point and laugh boys

>>15704324
>i-it's moka!
Keep telling yourself that, ya brainlet simp.

>>15704354
>coffee brewed at one bar is the same as coffee at 9+ bars
Keep telling yourself that, ya brainlet simp.

>one bar
Take your meds nigga.

>>15704316
>Each REMI is carefully carved out of a single block of metal. The surfaces are finished to a luscious anodised finish that also provides an inert and maintenance-free external layer.
>The main body structure is based on our signature single-piece (unibody) design, thereby providing permanent precise alignment and eliminating accumulated tolerance errors necessitated by multiple-part designs.
This is buzzword vomit, anon. While from a financial perspective I could absolutely buy it without batting an eye, I am not xxhardcorexx about coffee to do so. Am I willing to spend a bit above average to not get a chink/walmart-tier grinder like I'm sure the shit pictured here >>15704303 is? Yeah, sure. Am I willing to spend literally 10x the price of a basic grinder? No. I specified basic for a reason; I'm not looking for literally top of the line stuff, I just want something that's simple and easy to clean.

>>15704285
Use more coffee.

>>15704364
why are poorfags so cringe

https://hal.archives-ouvertes.fr/hal-00618977/document

Nice meaningless chart bitchtits

>>15704450
>>15704182
please have a nice day

>>15704303
you're such a fucking retard
you deserve bad coffee

>>15704122
It's not how it's spelt, you fucking moron.

>>15704369
So distill the marketing speak from the engineering.

>anodised finish
>permanent precise alignment
>unibody

So its a piece of milled alumimum with a handle, surface treatment, and burrs. Thats literally all you need. There are no alignment issues because the top burr is fixed in place. Grind consistency is a major issue with that $40 chinkshit skerton because of the massive burr wobble.

> I specified basic for a reason

Thats what we're getting at. Theres a large machining cost when you're milling out chunks of dense stainless to exact spec. Thats what you're paying for. No motor, no chrome, plastic facade. A body, burrs, and a handle. So make sure those 3 parts are great. Don't think of it as an "xxhardcore lifestyle upgrade" to larp about on 4chin. Its a low maintence invisible upgrade that you'll use every morning. I'm not even saying get a remi. Bottom adjust is kind of a dealbreaker for me. Shop around. I've got a $200 kinu and love it, but

>from a financial perspective I could absolutely buy it without batting an eye

I kind of want to get an hg-1 and just endgame off that. Same burrs as the $3000 Mazzer Robur at 1/3 the cost, and I'd bet my arm outlasts a few motors.

>>15704467

>>15704310
>not drinking espresso
oh sorry i didn't know you wanted diluted dirt water
i guess you're on the right webzone for a drink that retarded

>>15704472
>spelt
that's not how it's xpelt you incredible nigger

>>15704489
>honhonhon i squeeze the beans

>>15704482
i hate /v/tards and the cancer they bring
even /pol/fags are better

pour-over/french press/moka fags deserve their shit coffee. just let them be.

>>15704457
You too m8

>>15704495
alright i laughed

>>15704475
Thanks for the serious reply.
Here are some somewhat more pleasantly priced alternatives I've found, much more in the price range of what I'm looking at.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0044ZA066
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0843145RP
https://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B083TGGHGL
If you could give any of these a look and tell me what you think I'd appreciate it.

>>15704285

What >>15704392 said.

Past a certain point, I'm not sure that steep time does much except make the coffee more bitter.

>>15704552
>>15704392

I'll give it a shot tomorrow morning, it just seems like a lot of coffee grind for not so much coffee product

>>15704559

Have you tried different grind sizes? For French press it's usually pretty coarse so I can't imagine your grounds are too coarse.

Still, just to go through the possible variables...

>>15701530
I switched from drinking a full pot of coffee to 2-3 espresso shots in the morning and it's been spectacular. Don't get me wrong, I'll always love a good cup of warm black coffee but nothing compares to good espresso when starting your day.

>>15704589
I was using coarse, but actually switched to something a little finer in hopes it would absord better.

Next brew i'm going with to up the coarseness and increase the grind amount. I just want a deep, uniform coffee color. I've been using a glass mug to measure color quality.

its fun experimenting, it feels like a fun little side project while I make breakfast

>>15704494
It is in my country, you fucking moron.

>>15704530
porlex is supposed to be okay, but i think it's terribly overpriced for the quality
i've never heard of the middle link, which is not a good sign
out of those three, i'd get the 1zpresso. but in reality, i wouldn't cheap out on any of those three because they're all pretty shit for the price and you'll just end up buying a better, more expensive grinder later that you should have bought in the first place

the remi and the kinu are good grinders, and so is the commandante

>>15704607
3rd world shitholes don't count as proper countries, shitskin

>>15704530
That 1zpresso is m i l e s ahead of the porlex, but I don't like theirs burrs. They don't finish cleaning up the edges so you're left with jagged edges until they wear, and you hope they wear evenly/you don't get any steel in your throat. Paper filters will probably catch 100% of it, but it still screams chinkshit cornercutting to me. Timemore c2 is supposed to be g o o d chinkshit.

https://youtu.be/dn9OuRl1F3k?t=696

Give that video a watch. He says the porlex won his budget grinder head to head and the cheapest option in the higher tier makes it feel like a toy.

https://www.amazon.com/TIMEMORE-Chestnut-Manual-Coffee-Grinder/dp/B08CKQ5X5N/ref=sr_1_9?dchild=1&keywords=TIMEMORE&qid=1614976840&sr=8-9&th=1

~$50 cheaper than the slim he reviews in that video, but essentially the same grinder. Its definitely their budget option, but they also just came out with a $320 one so thats probably as cheap as they're willing to go. Like I said before, I like my $200 kinu a l o t.

>>15704610
>>15704622
Thanks a ton, and I especially appreciate the review video, will give it a watch. This is mostly unexplored territory for me so I'm just trying to strike a good balance between price and quality, getting something good without price memes.

>>15704629
So I watched that video and reaaaaaaaaaaly fucking wanted the $330 kinu. Prima and they had just released the $200 phoenix which is the same grinder with less steel. Bought it, love it, still wouldn't have minded spending the extra money seeing the quality $200 got me. They've essentially been out of stock everywhere since then so it seems like an accepted price/quality balance. I personally like buying shit that punches above its price point, and the kinu does that just fine.

This site has them if you want to yolo 2 bills at it after watching the video.

https://gear.coffee/products/m47-phoenix

Black.


I put the kettle on, once boiled I leave it stand for 10 minutes. I grind my coffee (coarse), add it to my french press, add the hot water after the 10 minutes. Then I let it brew for 7-10 minutes, press, and serve.

Bit of a time consumer but well worth it for a fresh, fragent, and delicious cup or two.

>>15704616
>being an edgy racist
Enjoy your ban, 13 year old.

>>15704665
>being a literal feces-for-epidermis
Enjoy your... wait sorry you can't enjoy anything
that's why you're getting baited by the most obvious and clear bait on the fucking cooking board you incomprehensible retard

>>15701530
With soy milk

>>15704680
>being an edgy racist AGAIN
Enjoy your ban, 13 year old.

>>15704711

>>15704726
Imagine seething this much. You're pathetic.

>>15704754
it's been fun chatting, nigger

>>15704771
Enjoy your ban again, seething teenage moron.

I might get some bullshit for this, but at home I use instant coffee packets. I much prefer vanilla lattes out at a cafe though. espresso drinks can be pretty nice.

>>15704802
thanks, I will!

>>15704839
Idiot.

>>15701530
Caffeine makes me unreasonably horny throughout the day but the boost it gives me is irreplaceable

>>15705158
haha wanna have coffee together sometime? haha

Coffee is black, it's literally liquid BBC
If you drink coffee, you're literally putting afro penis in your mouth and like to watch your wife fucked by Jamal

Overroasted first batch of a new fruity Ethiopian. Still drinkable. Oh well. Sometimes I fuck up on the first and second tries on new coffees. This one roasted really weird. Took a really long time to get to first crack, and I should have stopped based only on the color, not at all on color + sound. This one also turned the most vibrant shade of neon chartreuse I have ever seen in a coffee. It was mesmerizing. Some nice berry flavors coming out alongside the charcoal though. Mmm, burnt fruit.

>>15705312
haha

>>15705563
you that guy that sells beans or do you roast for yourself?

>>15705633
I'm the heat gun pragmatist home roaster guy.

>>15705563
Rip. My 20lbs of ethio should be here tomorrow.

>>15705739
It's all right. I always get at least 10 lbs of everything that's in the ballpark of what I like. Already looking forward to the 2021 crops. Had a couple really outstanding ones from this year. Learning what to buy, when to buy or pass on something has been interesting.

I'm a black coffee drinker

I often drink a pot a day. Sometimes even more.

>>15705825
what do you blacks even drink coffee for?

>>15701530
Like I like my women
(ground up and in the freezer)

>>15701530
Dark toast and instant. Fuck you, medium and light roasties. You're retarded and wrong.

>>15706131
>Dark toast

ngmi

>>15706230
>not putting your used grounds as a spread on your toast
NEGMI

>tfw just ordered an Eureka Specialita

>>15701530
I like my coffee like I like my women - covered in bees!

Really I'm a pourover guy though. Mostly V60, but I also have a chemex. And an Aeropress, but I don't use that as often because I could never totally figure it out.

>>15701530
Black, normally 1 caffeinated, and any others decaf

>>15702837
>>15702855
>visit this thread out of boredom
>suddenly read a strangely familiar text passage
>what was once my original post is now copypasta
Sorry, everyone

>>15701530
Short like my dick.

>>15702044
Why american need to fucked up every thing?

>>15707075
Americans are a punishment to themselves and on the world.

>>15707218
USAians are too much.

The diner coffee is so watery...

>>15707075
I'm British and I have an Aeropress, I got it as a gift

I use it instead of my french presses because it's easier to clean. I just rinse it out between uses. But my french presses (got a couple of them) taste of stale coffee unless you wash out the filter with soapy water after each use. That's what I found anyway.

So yeah I just brew in my Aeropress, with the upside down method. Less cleaning.

JP COFFEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g5z0OCWN6g

>>15707275
Don't forget: Service without a smile.

>>15707294
>soapy water
Anglo bros please, kys.

>>15707401
Why are you seething, dickhead?

Walmart brand instant decaf, walmart brand powdered creamer, and walmart brand fake sugar

Strong and black, just like you, Linda

>>15707426
why havent you comited sudoku yet

>>15701534
fpbp. does anyone know if the ‘italians think if you drink cappuccinos after midday you’re a pussy’ thing is real

>>15707487
Si.

2 teaspoons of sugar and enough cream to make it look caramel colored

>>15707487
Who honestly gives a shit what Italians think
Coffee tastes wonderful so I can and will drink it whenever I feel like it

>>15707487
how the fuck does that even work?
what can those faggot's digestive systems handle 10 million pounds of cheese and garlic a day but a bit of coffee gives them the shits?

>>15707704
kek. Many Italians think that anything other than espresso are breakfast coffees and so are not to be drunk after 10am, considering it to be a faux pas.

>>15707732
Oh so it's basically milk or cream in coffee that they don't like then
I guess I could see that, cream in coffee makes it essentially a meal replacer but it's again, pretty hypocritical when everything else they eat is rich as fuck.

>>15707410
>He dosen't know
ahahah

>>15707768
Milk is for the cappuccino and the baby bottle. We drink water or wine from lunch onwards.

Mixed with chocolate

>>15707782
wine fucking sucks tho

>>15707801
For me, it's beer.

coffee is BAD for you

>>15704097
timemore c2
I know it's chinkshit but it's the cheapest available option that has burrs in the acceptable range, about $65ish on aliexpress, think I saw one going for $70 on amazon recently

I just broke my favourite mug
I mean, it's just a mug but I feel a bit empty inside now

>>15708263
I'm sorry bro. I know what it's like to lose a favoite mug.

>>15708263
Worst feeling..... My condolences

>>15708263

>>15708263
my brother broke my good mug a couple of years ago and i havent found one like it since :(

>>15707487
>‘italians think if you drink cappuccinos after midday you’re a pussy’ thing is real
Isn't coffee at night an European thing?

Got a French press and a burr grinder. Now to find a coffee with a nice toffee flavor.

Also learned not to drink a whole French press pot before bed. 0_0

>>15708458
he means any coffee with milk after noon

>>15701530

ILIKEA BLACKÁSS COFEE NIGA

does moka pot coffee always have sludge? or am i grinding too fine?

>>15708600
always

What is this V60 dripper I see in every cafe these days
Is it a meme

Black, decaf. Former caffeine addict, so I'm trying to kick it, still.

>>15708771
a weeb meme, now comes the origami dripper, i bet italians have a giggle at waiting in a coffee shop for a long time.

I like Melitta traditional roast coffee. I just use a drip coffee maker. I do one heaping scoop of coffee grounds for every two cups of water. Makes a pretty good cuppa joe. I also like President's Choice Colombian Supremo and McDonald's coffee. I'm Canadian btw.

Jesus... you kids really will argue about anything. I WANT IN!

I added a section to my old moka pot that compresses the ground coffee, and allows the contraption to build pressure before firing water through the coffee at just under 9 bars (I tried 15 bar valves at first... I'm glad it decided to just leak rather than explode), and the end result is nearly identical to my cheap espresso maker (the crema's actually a little more stable), but I can use it when I don't have power, or take it camping.
So, a moka pot can make espresso, but only after receiving an add on that cost more to make than the pot did in the first place, and being operated at pressures it was probably not designed to handle... and yes, I know Brikka's exist, but I couldn't find one that said it applied anywhere near 9 bars through the basket.

>>15708263
:(

>>15708854
As long as you're not all about Lavazza espresso, I think you can live. I'm not big on the Melitta or PC medium or light roasts, but their dark roasts are better than alright for semi-cheap pre-ground.

Any of you add sweetener to your coffee?

Sometimes I have it without, sometimes I add it.

Normally I use a moka pot desu. I know it's not espresso but it's a cheap machine and it's consistent.

recently I've switched over to cowboy coffee again, feels good to switch it up I guess.

>>15708963
I'm not big on the flavour of most sweeteners. I can deal with stevia, but sometimes it makes my face swell up.
>tl;dr
No. Brown sugar, condensed milk, or black (and unsweetened, if you consider black to only denote a lack of dairy)

>>15704119
Look. I know im responding to a mongoloid, i know. But i have to tell you. You dont know anything about coffee. Read all the faggot books you want. Go to coffee fest and turn your nose up to the italians and masturbate over synesso. Go pay thousands of dollars to be a q gradee and look at coffee under a uv light. Go for it. I dont even care. Just remember kid, i was stripping trucks of supremos while you were in fucking poopy pants diapers. I remeber when Choc full of Nuts delivered coffee in a fucking rolls royce. Your playing yourself, kid.

I have over 100 specialy offerings from 97 different countries of origin in contianer quanities AT ALL TIMES. Wow you say mr. Coffee broker bean KANG you just doxed yourself on the internet, but i dont care. Fuck you. Ive been doing this so long i was playing golf with the nca guys before it blew up ive been a member and disbarred by the scaa more times then your punk ass has even been on there mailing list. Ive FUCKED my way through more coffee roasters secrateries than you even have in your rolodex. I have a warehouse filled with over $1,000,000 of espresso equipment laying DEFUNCT.

People like you, kid, people like your are marks, customers, losers. Go ahead, drink your shitty overextracted coffee; freeze your green coffee; hook up pid machines to your little home.use espresso machines, buy a 1 bag Lorring. But to me kid, youll always be a loser and a faggot

>>15708938
brikka is shit, it only hads a little crema

>>15709036
see
>>15709020

>>15708975
>Brown sugar
Interesting, never had this in coffee.

I will use sugar if I'm somewhere where they don't have sweetener (white, since that's what's available everywhere). But normally I have sweetener because I don't like the health effects of too much sugar.

>>15709036
I was expecting there to be someone who just overdid a commercial one to be able to produce or at least handle espresso-machine pressures... and not so much. I found one that did 3.5 bars, that was kind of exciting.
So, I basically added a heavy cylinder of valves, jets, threaded pipe and coffee-squishers, and if my math's right (in three years, I've never bothered to attempt a measurement), the pressure in the basket area should reach 8.8 bars. There's a slight buildup of pressure that trips the 9 bar exit valve but (probably) leaves the extraction area at 8.8-ish, but I'm worried about swapping the valve out for anything higher.

>>15709071
I always have demerara or turbinado on hand.

>>15709132
see
>>15709020

>>15709152
see
>>15709020

>>15709020
What the fuck did you just fucking say about coffee, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my cafe sommelier class in the Red Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on roasters, and I have over 300 confirmed Michelin stars. I am trained in guerilla service and I'm the top barista in the entire US food services. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of coffee spies across the USA and your beans are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Cortado. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can caffeinate you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed caffeination, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Coffee Supply and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit soggily all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking decaf, kiddo.

>>15709166
t. coffee loser

>>15709190
see
>>15709020

>>15709190
now this is pod racing

>>15709196
see
>>15709190

>>15709208
Touché, salesman. Touché.

>>15709216
*tips trilby in defiant respect*

>>15709190
Sommeliers are wine experts, not coffee experts.

>>15709240
There is no coffee equivalent - maybe Q Grader, I guess - I've seen coffee/cafe sommelier used for people who extol the virtues of expensive coffee as part of a sales role.

>>15709270
Q grader is actually the trade name for "insufferable faggot"

>>15709273
as pertaining to coffee

>>15709273
>>15709287
An insufferable faggot in coffee business or culture: "Q Grader"
An insufferable faggot in wine business or culture: "Sommelier"
An insufferable faggot in beer business or culture: "Cicerone" (Seriously? Italian? Was there not a German word for this?)
An insufferable faggot in art business or culture: "Collector"
An insufferable faggot in 4chan pink or blue boards: "Namefag" or "Tripfag"
A tolerable faggot in 4chan pink or blue boards: "OP"

>>15701555
yes
>chad.img

>>15708963
No, I'm not a woman that attends pilates classes.

I just bought a baby gaggia off Facebook marketplace for $70. I'm new to machines, how do I check it's working and getting the right temps

9barista

>>15709418
Enjoy your diabetes and rotten teeth, moron.

>>15709836
Enjoy your yoga pants and astrology, Susan.

>>15709898
Enjoy your diabetes, rotten teeth, and obesity, you fat fuck.

>>15702332
try using more coffee and half the water.

>>15709908
I do, daily. You, on the other hand, are turning to various forms of self-denial to prolong your suffering.

>>15709924
You enjoy getting fat and having other health problems? Why?

>self-denial
I don't even want sugar in my coffee, I already get enough from chocolate.

>prolong your suffering
How am I suffering exactly?

why would you want sweet coffee, both of you are retards.

>>15709946
My health problems are the result of mild injuries from a lifetime of prolonged periods of extreme physical stress. My metabolism allows me to run at a caloric deficit even with a teaspoon of sugar in my morning coffee, some fruit with breakfast, and a moderate dinner. Everything in moderation, even moderation.

>>15707965
thanks anon

What type of coffee does Pepe drink?

>>15710333
Froglgers

>>15708600
Always. I leave the sludge in the pot

Anyone here have a clever dripper? I'm thinking of getting one

>>15710333
"zimbabwe" (rhodesia) peaberry

working in a cafe for a while has spoiled me so much

>>15701530
Today I had my coffee with chocolate syrup, chocolate protein powder, and cream cheese mixed in

>>15707487

It's not that "we thing you're a pussy", we just don't drink cappuccino after 10am. I never drink it, btw

>>15707768
>Oh so it's basically milk or cream in coffee that they don't like then

Nah, most women drink "caffè macchiato" at any hour

>>15711157
based, filter or espresso?

>>15707812

Sweden wtf

>>15709318
>An insufferable faggot in beer business or culture: "Cicerone"

What? Never heard such thing. Cicerone means "someone who guides you around town" or the likes.

If you never put sambuca in your coffee, your opinion is irrelevant

>>15711392
Maybe it's just an American thing... but it's definitely a thing -
>>cicerone.org

>>15711472

I don't want to know how they pronounce it

>>15711520
kikier one

Coffee gives me crippling headaches these days. Tea or high caffeine chai doesn't strangely so I don't think its the caffeine.
Anyone have any idea what it could be, I miss being able to have a nice cup on a cold day.

>>15711520
You know how nth generation Italian Americans overpronounce everything? Like that.

>>15705563
I'll get a batch of this roasted up next week hopefully.

>>15711548

That's not bad, honestly

>>15711569
Not familiar with it, but I can imagine

>>15711592
The sound of 'gob-a-ghoul' makes my Roman-defector ancestors weep.

>>15711626

'O CAPCLL, NO GABAGULL

>>15711589
I've about gotten through my failure batch. Going in for another attempt in the morning. Nothing like smoking out the neighbors on a Sunday morning!

When do you have your last cup of coffee for the day?
My sister drinks coffee at 8pm, then complains when she can't sleep at night.
As someone who never drinks coffee, i wonder if all coffee drinkers are this retarded or if she's special?

I’m a female califag who likes mochas. I never really drink just coffee alone anymore. I do half espresso, half barista oatmilk, and add some fancy chocolate sauce. I’m trying to be healthier and I’m going to substitute the chocolate sauce for cocoa powder and monk fruit...because chemtrails:/

>post above this
None of you respond. Anyway, any tips on brewing light roast? Even with a fine grind I'm finding it a lot harder to get down right

>>15711748
she is specially retarded, there is this thing called decaf, and right now more and more coffee farms do the decaffing to the green beans, so even coffee geeks can drink decaf without losing that premium traceability.

Haven't had caffeine for over two weeks now, and yes, I do think this makes me better than you.

>>15712717
Whatever floats your goat. I bet it's clear, un-caffeinated water.

mmmmmm water

>>15712717
Wow, that's pretty gay

>>15704186
>I was only pretending to be retarded huurrrr

>>15712889
We don't use that word around here
>pretending

What's the trick to Turkish coffee? Why is it so hard to get it right?
I'm basically just using my Turkish coffee cups as espresso ones at this point.

>>15713006
superfine grind. A lot of coffee dust should stay in suspension, creating a viscous, but not grainy or chewy taste sensation.

>>15710333
Arabica,
post some more frogs my folder is expanding.

>>15712975
>we

>>15706230
>he's never had dark toast
ngmi

>>15713431

>>15713567

>>15701544
i like my coffee how i like my women
i fucking hate women

I'll take a double shot, black, up the ass please

>>15702893
Everybody that unironically says "expresso" should not be allowed to have children

>>15701530
I buy (dark roast) beans in bulk and grind when I need them.

>>15708975
>condensed milk

I tried this for the first time when I was making a dessert. I poured the milk out of the can but didn't really scrape the rest of it out. I then poured some hot coffee I had just brewed into the can, stirred it up and poured it into a cup.

Shit was glorious once I added some more coffee to thin it out. Very rich but fuck that's good!

>>15707487
imagine being a wop

>>15708953
What's wrong with Lavazza?

>>15701530
Warning
Dark roasted coffee is very carcinogenic. It cases cancer.
This is a 'dark-evil' secret of the coffee industry. They will never talk honestly about health problems caused by the dark roasted coffee.

>>15710005
Complaining about mild injuries? Must be a woman.

>>15713431

>>15701530
Vietnamese egg coffee please
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/video-on-demand/in-search-of-umami/hanoi-sauces-and-essences-11010750

>>15713867
The beans lose quality a few weeks after roasting even if you don't grind them. Buy green beans and roast them yourself if you're trying to save money buying in bulk, otherwise just find a local roaster and buy from them a months supply at a time.

>>15714098
get raped, I don't care I'm roasting my shit so dark it ashes.

>>15712717
Coffee drinkers are statistically healthier than non-drinkers.

>>15715150
>he doesn't grow his own coffee
NGMI

>>15701530
> Matcha chad enters

>>15713434
... there's too much going on there to explain. Go get some sun.

>>15713990
The preground stuff tastes dusty, no matter what it's run through. It tastes like grandma's house - dust, smoke, day old-coffee, and dimly lit nostalgia.

>>15714262
I finally popped open a muscle. I'm off work for two weeks while my liver recovers from years of myoglobin trickling in, followed by a god damned flood of it. Ain't complainin' just 'splainin Lucy.

>>15715546
Complaining about mild injuries, must be a woman.

>>15715913
lol, may your kidneys never fail you. Godspeed.