/ck/ - Food & Cooking

tell them it's for a friend who was too scared to buy it and you never use it yourself

i order it online

>>15642704
>wiping

>>15642704
Walk in with a copy of everybody poops under your arm and just pretend you're buying motor oil or something.

>>15642720
based crustchad

>>15642704
Anon, I can guarantee you no one gives a shit what you buy in the store.

>>15642746
Where my dingleboys at

>>15642756
dont listen to this guy. hes trying to lure you in to getting stalked

>>15642704
>no bidet
Do American'ts relay?

>>15642704
Grow your own tree and make some yourself you pleb.

A few years ago I made the switch to large industrial paper rolls. Just one of these will last for MONTHS and you never have to suffer awkward toilet paper shopping again.

>>15642704
>Have been using kitchen paper and old newspapers

Enjoy your blocked plumbing.

>>15642829
dont leave it in your anus idiot
jesus christ

>>15642776
>will last for MONTHS

Weeks if there are any women in your house.

>>15642831

Plumbing referring to the house. Who refers to their anus as plumbing? Americans I swear...

>>15642832
>having women in your house

>>15642776
Smart. It will make the eventual switch to sandpaper less of a challenge.

>>15642832
I live alone.

>>15642840
actual autism

If you get into the shower immediately after shitting, you don't have to wipe. I haven't bought toilet paper since 2004.

>>15642849
It is a bit rough compared to regular toilet paper but it doesn't really hurt unless I had spicy food!

>>15642776
lol I had a roomate who found some mall janitor's bundle of keys with all the different paper dispenser key types.
Every couple of months he would go to a mall and steal all the tp

go to the hardware store and buy an air compressor to blow your ass clean

>>15642704
>How do you buy toilet paper without the whole store laughing of you?

I carry a large screwdriver in my jacket pocket when I go out.
I always use the bathroom when I go to stores and fast food restaurants.
I use the screwdriver to break open the plastic housing on the toilet roll holder.
I usually only aquire the very large commercial rolls, they are normally mounted sideways.
I always wear a cross-body messenger bag, toilet roll fits easily in the bag.
These rolls are huge, single ply paper, a full roll can last me a month or more.
Screwdriver is also a good defensive device.
Best score I ever had was at a 21 screen movie complex, got 14 rolls, had to make 3 trips to my car, I got enough for an entire year.

>>15642840
Jesus you're a faggot

I buy one roll at a time to maximize exposure to the general public. Everyone should know that I wipe my bunghole.

>>15642713

>>15642759
Dinblebro here. Feels good to be a no wipe chad. I save like 100 bucks a year on toilet paper.

>>15643393
Live your life.
No shame.
No fear.

Proud of you. I just can't come out of the water closet yet.