/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15613877
Worked in a diner, mostly making fried shit. Some coworker was there to help me out and threw frozen fries in it which somehow had some ice on them. Got deep frying oil on my whole right under arm. God only nows how, but it healed without a scar or even red tint.

>>15613877
One time I dropped a stack of like 30 plates at a job. I was so high lmao.

>>15613877
Sliced the tips of my fingers off in a meat cutter

I worked at a McDonald's in highschool and saw the guy I was working with slip on the ground, and use the grill to steady himself by putting his whole forearm on it.
I had to finish the shift alone in the kitchen. Was gay

>>15613877
>Always be sure to wear a chef hat, overfill the pan with oil, deep fry frozen french fries, and above all, when the flames begin, shake the pan one last time for good measure.

Le Americain stupide.

10 liters of sugar syrup all over the floor. sticky for weeks

>>15613877
I was shitfaced the night before drill and couldn't figure out my belt on my way to the adjacent bathroom. Long story short I woke up on the kitchen floor surrounded by cheerios, there was a half wanted slab of raw bacon that I had attempted to cook but then got frustrated and started eating, and I had pissed myself.

>>15613877
I was getting a bag of garlic out the cupboard and somehow the label on them was underneath a full jar of honey, I spent nearly half an hour cleaning up glass-filled honey off the floor.

>>15613973
Pic or didn't happen

Not really painful just creepy. I was closing a ziplock bag but didn't notice the staple and it weaved through my thumb.

>>15613877
>pull cast iron pan out of 500 degree commercial oven
>set on the stove top to plate
>expo lady interrupts to ask for something
>turn back around, grab 500 degree cast iron handle but without the towel

the chef at that same kitchen told me he once dumped a full size stock pot of fryer oil into his work boots before it really cooled at all. How he didn't need massive skin grafts is beyond me

>>15613973
as painful and traumatizing as that moment was are you really a chef if you didn't atleast for a moment think that maybe that made a decent enough opportunity to try human meat? you couldve atleast rendered a few tbsp of fat from the skin and whatever else is in fingertips

When I was a kid and my mom told me to wash the dishes for the first time in the dishwasher I filled the soap thing up with dish soap and it totally filled the kitchen with bubbles because nobody was in the kitchen while it was going

>>15614081
it was cool until mom yelled at you tho huh

>>15613973
Did the same with a vegetable slicer. When I went back into the kitchen, the salat has already been served.

>>15614085
I was upstairs playing video games
>WHAT THE FUUUCCKKKKKKK

>>15614086
>>15613973
Same lol that's what I get for being a cheap ass and trying to use the whole apple.

>>15614100
Honetly, I was just shittalking with a friend and not even noticing the dawning demise of my fingertip.

>>15614062

>>15614073
I kid you not, they were served with the salami to a customer

>>15613943
Lmao 420 Stoke it brah.

>>15614222
based get of pain
>try anons salami he puts a little piece of himself in every plate

>>15613877
dishwasher pulled rack 2 instead of 3 and then dropped it on my fucking foot
im diabetic so i fuckin bolted to the hospital to ensure i wasnt about to lose my damn foot

>>15613877

I used to rent a place 2 years ago, where one of the other tenants accidentally caused a fire in the kitchen.

He tried to fry raw chicken by dipping the pieces into a pot full of rapidly boiling oil, sitting on an older style large stove. Oil droplets fell on the side of the burner and also splattered across the top of the control board of the stove. Soon the stove caught fire near the temperature dial.

The landlord's wife rushed in and tried to put out the fire by throwing tap water on it. This only increased the flames and soon the entire stove was burning and the firemen had to be called.

Everyone had to evacuate outside as they were at that moment, which would be easier if it hadn't been the middle of winter and negative 11°C (-11°C/12.2° Fahrenheit) outside at night. We all had to stand outside in the freezing temperature as the fire was being put out. Fortunately, there was no large fire and only the stove was damaged.

The tenant, to this day, tries to hide himself whenever he comes across anyone who used to live there, at that time.

>>15614228
With my own special sauce

>>15613877
burnt my arm on the oven while making pizza, still got a scar from where i burnt it.

>>15613877
>webm
Do dark skinned individuals really...?

working dishpit
slipped on some grease, fell spectacularly, and the entire thing of dishes fell on me
cut my arm a bit and was absolutely *filthy* but altogether fine
landed right on my ass and luckily my back pockets were stuffed with rags at the time

>>15613877
Dropped a knife INTO my leg (nowhere near an artery) while cooking once, and it was buried in my flesh. Pulled it out, washed with hydrogen peroxide, bandaged it up and was fine, just freaked me the fuck out and hurt like a bitch.

>>15614452
You're lucky you didn't cut some essential nervs. That's also why you need to train to fuck back off when something sharp falls, unlike retards which try to catch te actual blade.

>>15614454
>That's also why you need to train to fuck back off when something sharp falls
thought this was common sense, my legs sweep away the moment i lose grip/control of a sharp utensil/tool.

>>15614471
Well, it should be, but you wouldn't believe how many people instinctivly grap whatever falls. My brother in law tried catching a ass hot flatiron with his lower arm. Guess who looked like a retard during the whole summer having a fucking iron inprint on his forearm.

>>15613877

been in kitchens for 10 years. my first big accident last month. spilled a bunch of boiling water on my right arm caused a second degree burn cuz i came into work drunk. had to work garde for three weeks cuz i couldnt handle any heat. surprisingly very minimal scarring.

>>15614521
>cuz i came into work drunk
get out of the industry while you still can

t. hospo for 13 years

Decapitated myself grating carrots.

>>15614000
Nice trips. Also to be fair he's not dumb, it was just out of reflex which does override common sense.

Sliced my thumb a couple times down to the white meat while working in a Chinese food prep operation.
Not that bad but it was near impossible to stop the bleeding and still work but the chinks don’t care if there’s a little human blood in the chicken

>>15614573
Yeah didn't blame him for it, and he was a nice enough dude if a little cringey.

got my thumb absolutely fucked up a couple years ago
>2 person kitchen
>getting a new dishpit installed
>means we dont have a proper mounted can opener for a couple days, have to use a shitty little hand crank one
>opening a large can of coconut milk which was a bit dented along the side and rims
>cut through the dent, can lid pops up and slices into my hand
>thought it wasnt going to be anything serious, didnt feel that bad
>wipe up the blood, see several kinds of white and a gaping gash in the base of my thumb, which immediately starts gushing again
>snap into ice cold reaction mode, no hysterics
>grab a couple rags, tell my line cook to call an ambulance, tell the server to do damage control with all the tables who werent getting their orders anytime soon
>EMTs show up, takes two rolls of gauze to get things stoppered up
>emergency room does the usual panel of tests, managed to sever my flexor tendon, nerves, and both arteries, and the can lid left a 2mm deep nick in the bone
as of now, its pretty much recovered, permanent nerve damage and a huge chunk of scar tissue at the cut site, mobility is good, but a shitty time all around

>working at McAlister Deli closing shift
>only been there a couple days
>manager Tim is pretty cool, kinda broish.
>Anon, can you check dates and inventory with Katie?
>Anon, we only have an half hour to close, this is going to take 30 minutes
>Pulls out dude lol joint
>We get stoned, listening to Deep Purple on iPod
>suddenly Gary (cashier bro) runs into walk in.
>WTF are you two doing? Tim is shot! Did you not hear?
>Crazy ex-GF came in drunk AF and shot Tim with a .25ACP Beretta
>Holding her down on the ground
>1st shot missed, 2nd hit his clavicle, but only partly penetrated. Could see bullet base. 3rd shot hit his boot, leaving bigass dent in his foot but bullet stopped
>Cops came and he went to hospital and was back next day

Everyone started the story that Katie and I were having sex during the attempted murder. Eventually do end up having sex with Katie and Tims ex got 8 years for attempted murder.

>>15613877
Licked the pot while it was cooking

>>15614813
You are the deli chad

>>15613877
Burned myself from the hot oil while frying eggs, it's left a mark. I only got burned in two fingers in a small area, but those small areas look pretty bad, a completely different color

this isn't my finger but this happened to me although it started at the start of my nail and i cut off a lot more of the flesh underneath
>chopping bell pepper
>board slips and forces my claw to uncurl
>knife passes through the base of my nail to the tip taking a gross chunk of flesh with it

Managed to burn myself on a heating lamp while refilling a hot buffet once. Took a whole year for the mark to go stay.

>>15615113
pic related is the culprit

>>15614547
some people like the industry

>>15614813
based I'd sling sammies and big baked taters with you

>>15614848
if you ever thought about being a cook, this happens 10x a shift on saute station

>>15615208
show me one person past the age of 35 in the industry that isn't filthy rich that genuinely enjoys its effect on all aspects of life

>>15615223
money isn't everything. you will never have enough, I prefer to not try and spin my wheels and would rather do the only thing in the dozens of industries I've worked in that wasn't entirely toiling and soul draining. If I have to wake up every day and contribute something to society to be deemed worthy of not sleeping on the curb, I'd rather spend that time doing something I enjoy. Also most cooks don't continue to learn and progress and constantly seek better restaurants and positions within them, this is important.

>>15613877
>be 12
>wanna make some bruchetta (no idea why I enjoyed an older adult style food at that age but whatever) but I have no idea what I'm doing so I copy what I saw my mom and older sister do
>carefully and excruciatingly dice up a tomatto
>carefully and excruciatingly shred some cheese, almost take off a bit of my nuckle
>assemble and eat but then I realize that since I didn't toast the bread I'm just eating a simple tomato and cheese sandwich
>fire up the stove, place a couple of slices of French bread in my mom's best non stick pan, crank it to max and cover it because again I have no idea what I'm doing
>leave the kitchen and go jerk off or whatever
>3 hours later mom gets home, huh I'm sure I forgot about something whatever no big dea-
>hear my mom scream "WHAT THE FUCK" at the top of her lungs as she enters the kitchen, oh no
>kitchen/house didn't burn down thank God, but the now charcoal French bread pieces all caught on fire, albeit a tiny flame
>smoke/smell inhibited by lid so I didn't smell it and take care of it earlier
>moms favorite pan ruined
>she's furious for like 2 months, if she made anything that didn't taste good she'd always say loudly "well it's too bad I dont have my favorite pan anymore"

Affer that incident, I swore to myself that I'd never let anything like that happen to me again. I decided to take things in my life more seriously, like learning how to cook basic things/learning to take a lit stove seriously. I can point out this exact moment in my life when I decided to mature and become more of an adult.

>>15615265
Did you replace her pan eventually?

>>15615273
No I was 12 and I didn't get an allowance, fuck that would have been a smart move, should have thought of that.

>>15615289
It's time to do so now, anon.

>>15614813
>Eventually do end up having sex with Katie and Tims ex
I was about to be incredibly fucking impressed. Commas, son, use them.

Remember that webm where this kid at some drivethrough slips and he empties a whole bag of slurpee or whatever on himself? Happened to me when refilling the milkshake machine. Since then we started salting the floors.

>>15614904
Same happened to me with my middle finger when julienne-ing spring onion whites.
Someone bumped into me from behind.

It's a weird sensation having no pressure on your finger when you touch things.

>>15614000
Had a manager nearly sever his thumb in the safe door when i was closing. Weird motherfucker didnt even yell he just walked up asking for a rag.

>>15613877
>13yo me at home after school
>mom and dad both at work
>rip off the top of a fresh yoghurt container
>one of the big tubs
>slips out of my hands
>try to catch it, end up flicking it up in the air
>it falls to the ground spinning, and hits the floor square on the base
>yoghurt tubs explodes like a fucking bomb
>covered in yoghurt from head to toe
>yoghurt on every surface including the ceiling
>panic, moms extremely fussy and insane to boot
>begin immediately cleanup, shitting myself the whole time
>actually do a really good job
>mom comes home and doesn't notice a thing

Had my foreskin removed as a baby, leaving me unable to ever be a real man.

>>15615428
that manager has balls of steel

>>15615289

Birthday, Holidays, or just a surprise to remind her "I love you" anon. It's never too early to start making your relationship with your mom FLOURISH!

>>15614002
Le negro stupide*
Fixed that for you, free of charge.

> be me
> work as a chef for 15 years
> I’m clumsy as shit, but don’t know how to get a new career

> chopped off the end of my thumb down to the bone, just with a large knife. Had to finish the shift as there was no cover, worked with a rubber glove constantly filling up with blood like a balloon
> put box of produce on top of stove, it was on. Pretty much cleared out the restaurant with the smell of burning plastic
> micro planed the tips off all 4 left fingers. Bleeding like shit the rest of the shift
Dropped a lasagne out of the oven, tried to catch it on my foot. 200•C béchamel <inmycrocs.rar>
> spanshed back of hand with super-heated custard. Sticky and hot as fuck. Basically napalmed myself
> walked into an open oven door so hard I fucked my ankle big time. Working on a foot the size and shape of a honeydew melon
> etc. ad-infinitum
> my face when I think that this is how bad I am, and chefing is the thing I’m best at in life

>>15613877
>13 years old
>Obsessed with pioneer woman cooks blog
>Make the cast iron apple skillet by myself (latchkey kid)
>Attempt to pull skillet out of the oven one handed
>Weak, tween arm fumbles and I try to catch the skillet with my other hand
>Burn the fuck out of my hand and arm, apple skillet all over kitchen floor
>stick hand in cold water until mom gets home
>tfw little brother laughs at me

>>15616106
will u be my girlfriend

Im so lonely

>>15616042
that was uncomfortable to read
now, when i go out to eat, i'm going to feel like i'm buying ivory blood diamonds
thank you for your sacrifice anon

>>15613877
Not me, but my cousin blinded himself by accident. He lost an eye when he was a kid thanks to a BB gun accident, and when he was about 20 he was drinking in his house and dropped a towel, bent over to pick it up, and skewered his good eye on a fork that was pointing up in the cutlery tray. fucking imbicile

>>15614002
That lid can’t be doing him any favors, either.

>>15615265
>bruchetta
>an older adult style food
Did this happen last year? What kind of upbringing leads someone to think this way?

>>15613877
I knocked out two teeth and majorly chipped another, fractured my jaw, fractured my right orbital socket and got a nice black eye getting knocked onto a granite counter, face first by some new chick running like a chicken without its head. This was a regional coffee shop and I was on a non slip mat, wearing non slips, midway thru a drink order. Worst part was, the company was actually a decent company, but I had to fight tooth and nail to have my insurance/workers comp. cover everything (I ended up paying like ~$550 out of pocket for emergency room visit and fittings for equipment. I now have to wear a retainer for my front teeth, but it's so inconvenient to eat with them, so pop them out and it grosses everyone out.

>>15614454
Happened to me the other day dropped an open straight razor and instinctualy tried to catch it, last minute realized what I was doing and yanked my hand away so it just barely touched my hand but still gave me a nice slice.

>>15615208
>some people like the industry

yeah most of them are borderline homeless drunks by age 30

>>15616303
It’s exciting and you feel like a god when you’re smashing out a super busy service. Being an alcoholic is starting to lose its charm though.

>was 16 got job doing dishpit
>one of the quiet days so it's only me and the chef
>was always slightly nervous around because he was a bit out of it
>heard he'd had an accident and fucked his brain up, ended up developing epilepsy
>cleaning put the dishwasher
>hear clatter and chef says shit on it
>"anon give us a finger with this"
>go over there and he'd chopped the first part of his middle finger off
>tells me to grab some vodka and bandages
>poured some into a cup and he dipped his finger in it
>then stuck it on the grill and cauterised it himself while the bar girl is panicking
>his reasoning was the finger was fucked and couldn't be reattached, it did look mangled
>paramedics arrive and check him over
>didn't do anything about it because nothing they could do
>closed early because had to clean the grill
The entire time he wasn't shouting or complaining, like it didn't even hurt him. Even started making the cashiers feel sick by wiggling the cut part about on the end of a wooden skewer

>>15614008
Sad and pathetic.

>>15615315
you are retard anyone could understand what was meant a comma after the clause you quoted would be necessary to show what you thought

>>15616478

>>15616500
anything I don't like is bait, says the retard

>>15616506
Nah, you responded to a grammar fag, hence the bait

>>15613877
got 1st degree burns all over my left hand at a candy store when the dumb fucking manager bitch moved the spoon the wrong way

was alone one christmas and was making a frozen pizza, box said 20-25 minutes, 10 minutes later the smoke alarm starts blaring and the kitchen is full of smoke, no idea what happened.

coworker didnt mop properly in the back one day, left a big puddle of water, I was carrying a few plates, dropped plates, fall on my ass, somehow cut 3 veins in my right hand, nearly severed some tendons in my fingers.

>>15616529
>>you're a retard
>stop baiting

overall, there's a lot more blood and broken bones in this thread than i was expecting...

bump

>>15616546
And yet you keep replying to my bait

>>15613877
I bought a shitty fucking pair of skechers work boots that advertised as slip resistant but it was like walking on ice at work and I wound up falling on my ass once. Got a refund for the shoes even though the stacy at the counter was pissed that they were already worn.

>>15616733
>sketchers
Why would you buy those? Shit tier, work boots I got from the supermarket work better

>>15616727
I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what a bait post is.

>>15616762
>you don't know what bait is
>replies to bait
Whatever you say bud

>>15616761
Outside of that one pair of boots, Skechers have never let me down, really. I have regular slip resistant skechers that are actually slip resistant. Most of my daily shoes have been skechers and they last a long time in my experience. They're kinda boomer-tier looks but I don't mind.

>>15616805
How can I not know what bait is if I've been baiting you into replying to my posts this whole time?

>>15616814
Really? Because pretty much all the sketchers I had just fell apart after a little while. My mum even stopped buying them for the kids after seeing how shitty they were. Maybe they've improved but I wouldn't know
>>15616805
>>15616831
Fuck off retards

>>15615428
>Weird motherfucker didnt even yell he just walked up asking for a rag
Some people don't scream in pain, dont know why. I dont either. I work in sheet metal fabrication and just last week I got my finger pulled into a bead roller. Didn't yell or anything, but I was panicking inside my mind. I had to turn off the machine myself and then loosen the parts to pull my finger out. I walked up to the foreman and told him what happened, he told me to go sit down, I go to sit down, pull my glove off, and my finger is sliced open all along the side, blood spills all over the floor. I walk back to the foreman and just say "its fucked." Then i went to the ER

>>15613877
>dipshit worker
>carrying plastic tray covered in plastic cups
>they’re in stacks of 10-20
>try to lift it over my head
>they all fall
>loudest noise I’ve ever heard
>friendly 40 yo waitress laughs it off with me, apparently a sleeping baby managed to sleep through it
>clean up my mess, only mildly embarrassed

>still dipshit
>working as a complete new guy (first day)
>”training” with some actual retard
>they give us a big pot of soup
>I say we need to drain it
>after about 2 iterations of pouring soup into strainer and it taking too long, he dumps the whole thing in the sink
>it stops up the floor drain
>the whole kitchen is flooded
>it’s my first fucking day
>we clean it up and nobody gets mad because the restaurant was barely opening

And finally
>prep cook at summer camp
>boss tells me to put away the strawberry compote
>yes boss I’m a good little boy (my first job)
>can’t even remember what the fuck I did
>a fucking deep tray of compote falls to the floor
>covers a good 5 square meters
>sticky as fuck
>all the people in the kitchen are laughing
>my boss: “Gee, anon, I told you to put it away but not throw it away!”
>say something like: “I was gonna but it smelled a little funny”
>clean up my mess through my chagrin

>>15616277
Count your blessings, anon.
And for gods sake, move to safety razors.

>>15616393
I have a story about a guy that for some reason just didn't feel pain. He was also out of it do it being in a bad car wreck years ago. His name was Mark.
>working on the line Friday night with new guy, Mark
>just started so I'm trying to get him through the night Friday's are super busy
> eventually able to somewhat hold his own so we split up salad/oven
>get through the shift and start cleaning
>as I'm mopping Mark walks up to me and shows me his right hand
>"do you think I should go to hospital/medxpress for this is kinda hurts"
>dude burned a layer of skin off because he put his hand in the steamer right as he opened it
>said he left it in for a good 5 seconds
There were 2 other guys working with us that night and none of us heard him scream let alone tell us about it till the end of the night.

>really want fishsticks
>grab the frozen ones out the freezer throw em in oven on glass tray
>so good
>grab the tray and set it down on countertop
>tray fucking explodes
>RIP fishsticks
>later eye's itchy
>gently probe with finger
>shards of glass come away
>somehow got through my own glasses
Lucky I didn't fuck my sight.
>>15614696
Brutal.
>>15616042
Based grizzled chef
>>15616393
>cauterised his own finger
Badass.

>>15616106
there is nothing more painful than dropping a final product, fugg

>>15616319
>>15616303
im not an alcoholic or druggy, anymore. I was a substance abuser before I was an adult and working though. I like it and I dont even have the satisfaction of working in a kitchen that sells good food right now, had to take a job in a bar franchise because covid really did a number on restaurants.

>>15616393
I wanna work for this guy more than you can even imagine

>>15613877
Nothing too bad. Probably the time I raked my hand across the serrated plastic wrap cutter. Didn't need stitches, but my hand was fucked for a couple weeks. I hated cooking with gloves on.

>>15616831
>filename
good chuckle/10

>>15617181
ah god that thing has a uniquely severe way of delivering pain. even the smallest cuts hurt like all fuck from that thing

>>15613877
I was grading cheese and I help it against my hip like towards the top of my femur and i had the bowl on the floor and was shredding dat good cheese into the bowl and it slipped and I accidentally cheese grated my pee pee

I would post pics but I'm pretty sure the mods here are women they are very ban happy on this god forsaken board

>>15617004
There are even people like me, which start to laught. Once tried to jump a fence and my wedding ring chose not to follow, so it scrapped my ringfinger to the bone. Should consider myself lucky, that the momentum wasn't enought to rip it off. Either way, been with my friends and just started laffin like a retard all the way to the emergency.

>>15616319
yeah def, I've worked in kitchens before, it can be a lot of fun. just not the type of job i'd want to have or culture I'd want to be a part of after age 25 or so.

>>15614000
My manager at the restaurant where I used to work accidentally her whole hand into the deep fryer

>>15615289
offering her a pan now would just be asking for trouble

Wasn't cooking and it wasn't in the kitchen but I put a blender on an old electric plate that was just turned on (plugged it into the outlet without noticing the knob was cranked and left to get something)
You can imagine what i discovered 5 minutes later, a melting blender dripping down from the table making a puddle on the carpet

>>15613877
Sliced 7 inches up my forearm with a mandolin during my unpaid culinary school externship

>>15613877
this dude is like a black Mr Bean

>>15613877
Depends, chef hitting someone on purpose with a thrown pan is strictly speaking not an accident. Otherwise small but easily extinguished fire. Never had anything worse than a knife nick at home

>>15615926
no difference

Cut the tip of my finger off opening a new knife.
I was being retarded and using my hands to rip the plastic packaging open instead of listening to the GF and using scissors so I 100% deserved what happened lol.

>>15617272
I might misremember the exact hormone, but the body shits out endorphine when injured, and probably adrenaline too.

Shock is weird - I cut myself in the finger while prepping maybe two years ago, did not hurt but I was bleeding proper.
Was thinking
>oh cool, I thought this would be worse, but it aint so bad
and started calmly fetching gauze, band-aid n shiet. About a minute after the cut I suddenly damn near fainted and had trouble sitting on a chair without falling over, vision blurred and sound muffled. Got handed a glass of water and that calmed me down swiftly.
I was shocked by how shocked I actually was, lel.

>>15614094
kek

I worked in a bacon factory and saw a guy get his mesh glove stuck in the de-rinder.
The machine twisted the metal glove all around his hand and pulled fast, removing the skin off all his fingers

>>15617039
haha what a charming fellow.

>>15618020
>>15617039
wholesome garbage-tier job stories

>>15613877
You cook and cook and realize its to much for the pans you chozen, so bigger pans and twice the dishes :D kitchen looks like like a nighmare afterwards and take all night to clean :D

>>15613877
poured a bowl of nuclear hot lentils all over my hand and burned the shit out of it

>>15614002
He's a comedian you retard

>>15617206
Wut?
Did you have clothes on anon?
Why are you naked?
Why was the bowl on the floor?
I NEED ANSWERS!!!!

someone I was working with once dropped a timer into a fryer, which proceeded to explode and cover his body + face with burning oil. dude was perma fucked up and nearly went blind

>>15616194
Cuzzo just cant catch a break huh

I think the worst I ever did was burn a small patch of skin on a cast iron pan trying to sear some tuna steak(s). I don't even remember how it happened, but that the burn was in a weird place, so I think I was moving something and ended up resting the heel on my hand on the rim of the pan.

>be 15/16
>summer job
>cleaning a flattop with a grill brick
>hands slip off brick
>both palms down straight onto still hot flattop
That was the first real burn I remember, it sucked dick but this super hot like 30yr old waitress helped get me patched up

>that winter
>cooking burgers outside on grill
>had sprained my ankle goofing off with my friends but went to work anyways
>halfway through my shift completely unable to walk
>boss wants to call 911 I refuse
>drive to hospital using wrong foot
>ended up with severely sprained ankle and an infection from swollen ankle rubbing against my boots
>unable to walk for like 2 weeks

It only took me like 6 more years of that to get out of the industry...

>>15613877
a glass bowl exploded in my hand, still have the cut scars

>>15619329
if that's because drugs, you deserve it

>>15619338
nah I was in high school, just reached into the cupboard and grabbed the bowl and the cheap piece of trash shattered right then and there

>>15614007
Nobody knew how to use a mop?

>>15613877
I only ever used my family's shitty knives that they never sharpen until moving out on my own. So when I bought a decent Mercer set, I got too careless/hyped and ended up slicing my thumb down to the bone and also cutting the top half of my thumbnail off. Both healed with a barely noticeable scar though, thankfully

>>15619329
>>15619366
What the fuck? How could that happen? That literally doesn’t make sense unless the bowl was either moving, or so unstable that it literally just fell apart. “Exploding” suddenly just doesn’t make sense in any sense, so there’s definitely something wrong with your story.

>>15619479
apparently it's because they're produced with cheap lime
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/ConsumerNews/holiday-cooking-hazards-glass-bakeware-spontaneously-shatter/story?id=12328800
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/glass-explosion-dishes-1.5210729

>>15619507
Yeah that’s why I said I can understand it falling into pieces but not “exploding” as exploding implies the pieces were literally thrown with some velocity outward from the center. That would be a lot fucking worse, although having it shatter in your hands sounds pretty fucking awful also. I can imagine you probably were holding the bowl with unnecessary grip which may have made things worse, as you came to find yourself clutching broken glass.

>>15619402
i spent 20 minutes mopping anon

>>15614813

>>15619524
Glass in a shape like that is under tension. It releases energy when the piece breaks.

>>15613877
>working as a dishie many moons ago
>have to clean some of the kitchen equipment after close
>go to clean oven
>open door to clean inside of the glass
>immediate burning on the the side of my arm
>didn’t realize both oven doors were linked together and opening one made the other open and press lengthwise down my arm
>.5”x18” burn running down my left arm
Pic related is similar to what I was cleaning.

>>15614564
F

>>15616217
its called being american

>>15614034
that genuinely sucks

>>15617206
lol they wish they were women

>>15617073
straight razors are fun anon
they take too long once you get a real job though

>>15613877
Outdoor grill. Decided to see how much I could sear a steak. Put a cast iron skillet with some oil in it on it. Heated it. Laid steak down towards myself and it was like a hot oil shotgun. Right arm and hand all Jackson Pollock 1st-2nd degree burns. Wasnt as bad as I thought it would be the moment it happened. Fine now.

One time while I was putting away a fresh pan of curry sauce in the walk-in I was making room for it on a top shelf while it cooled. Some asshole left a lid loose on a jug of dressing so when I picked it up the jug fell from the lid, clipped the edge of the pan and splattered the sauce all over me and the walk-in.

>>15616393
Eh, more like he didn't have insurance or money for the co-pay. Also probably read about someone doing that in Anthony Bourdain's book and secretly always wanted to do it someday.

>>15613877
Cut my index finger stright through the tendon while hacking at a bone with a butterknife. Finger works fine but the healing was a bitch and I have a funky scar.

>>15613877
Owning a gas stove, killed my whole family and destroyed my house. Never again, I'm an electrichad now

Cut the webbing between my thumb when I was like 6-7 years old and I wanted some apple slices. Just a lot of blood, but no damage.

>>15614452
I've had a few times where I avoided getting a knife on my foot because I dropped it.

>>15614547
>Family: "Hey anon you should get into the cooking industry, you like to cook!"
I don't even keep a pulse on a lot of kitchen people and I know how traumatized you guys are. I should say next time they mention the idea "Yeah I really wanted to become an alcoholic or addicted to cocaine that's a great idea I'll work in a kitchen"

I tried that "get the avocado seed out by slamming your knife on the seed and twisting it" meme, ended up grazing my pinkie and thankfully only slighting cut it.

>>15621174
>meme
But that's how you do it. How else would you?
I don't understand how you even messed it up that badly; not only is the pit a huge target, but you don't need a lot of momentum to get a blade into it in the first place. Seems like you'd have to have a real hand-eye coordination problem to not be able to do it, and at that point any use of a knife could be dangerous.

>>15613877
First time trying to fry store-bought frozen fries. My grandpa bought them for when I joined him for grocery shopping or just hanging out and having lunch together. His oriental caretaker would make it for us. When he passed away, I found that bag of fries in the freezer and took it home. After like a year I remembered it existed, so I took it out and intended to fry them fries. They had ice attached to them. Putting them in hot oil got rather violent.
I had a lid on standby, and I immediately covered the pot and removed it from the stove. Only damage was oil droplets all over the kitchen, which I of course cleaned.

>>15619402
That's a scrub and hose job, anon.

>>15613877
This was a eating accident so sorry it it doesn't count but once I was staying great aunts' house where they run an in-home day-care. One boy they watch has SEVERE autism. Once I was eating ramen I just took off the stove and he wanted to see what I was eating so he tipped the bowl and spilled the really hot water all over me.

>>15613877
I've never had a cooking accident because I'm always because I saw that one Canadian work safety ad of a woman spilling boiling water all over herself online. The biggest one I've ever had was when I cut my finger a little cutting pineapple. The juices seeping into the cut hurt worse than the actual cut.

>>15620474
>>15614452
>>15614454
In the future, don't pull it out. That'll "unclog" the wound and blood loss will happen.

>>15616194
Fuck, so he's 100% blind. That fucking sucks, the the thought of losing my vision or hearing is horrifying.

>>15621325
That's only usefull in actually life threatening situations. For any other cut you just compress the wound, which is much afer than running to the ER with a fucking knife in your hand or foot.

>>15615926
you're a fucking faggot, free of charge

>>15620377
That's why you move to the safety razor anon. It's the quickest and safest way to shave.

>>15616042
how the fuck are you not dead yet

>>15621314
Pineapple juice is the fucking worst

>>15617339
Not everyone's a nigger like you though

>>15614452
jesus christ

when i was a kid i tried to make caramel on the stove by melting sugar. i dipped my finger into the molten caramel to taste it and got 3rd degree burns on my finger. i'm just grateful i wasn't retarded enough to take a spoonful and eat it as i imagine i would have majorly fucked up my esophagus.

>>15613877

in my personal kitchen, the other day I left oil and water mixed on the flame for too long and it burst into a giant fireball. i held the pan as far away from my face as possible, and I was about to put it in the sink because it's metal and designed to handle flaming pans, but the 3 foot high flame eventually died out.

>>15613877
Making a ham sandwhich then my eyebrows flew off

>>15616393
>Even started making the cashiers feel sick by wiggling the cut part about on the end of a wooden skewer
>he called it the stick niggler

>>15613877

freestyle deep frying is possibly the most dangerous form of cooking that there is. if you somehow get that oil on you, it's worse than boiling water because it sticks to your skin.

>Be the school faggot and the only guy that took Home Ec
>It's Apple pie day!
>Have to use an apple corer like pic related because the other girls are catty bitches that hoard all the knives
>Blades break off inner ring and slide perfectly up my wrists.
>"Well shit"
>Profuse bleeding
>Instead of freaking out or reacting at all I just quickly turn around toward the Teachers desk, slinging blood all over a gaggle of the most popular girls in my class.
>horrified screams of blood spattered teenage girls
>"Can I go to the nurse?"
>Teacher screams and yells for help
>I end up casually walking to the town doctor down the street leaving a blood trail
>The doc was an old family friend and always a little eccentric but he looked unusually disheveled and was smoking alone in his darkened tiny office.
>Patches me up on the house, I tell him how I had to use a shitty apple corer instead of a knife because of those other bitches.
>He tells me he slept there because his wife threw him out.
>"Women."

>>15617206
>I was grading cheese
If i email you my dickcheese can you taste it and give me a grade?

>>15618071
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa benis in bobo aaaaaaaaaa?

>>15622482
>>Blades break off inner ring and slide perfectly up my wrists.
Holy fuck I know people throw around the word cringe too much, but this thought actually made me reel.

>>15621566
Imagine how retarded I am at everything else in my life.

>>15614813
>.25ACP
Fucking useless mouse guns. Why do people even carry that crap?

>>15614002
Imagine being this stupid and criticizing a parody.

>>15621566
God watches over fools

Worst I've done is slight burns and small cuts. Blisters and minor bleeding.
The one that springs to mind is when I made too much stuff and it didn't fit in the oven pan, so I split it into a steel kettle and tossed that into the oven too. I used oven mitts when I took it out, but then something caught my attention for a little while and I grabbed the handle with my bare hand afterward. Didn't even get blisters from that one since the handle is thin and cooled very fast.

>>15615265
Does she not know how to buy a new pan? Or is it just that women enjoy bitching and moaning far more than actually accomplishing anything?

>>15614222
Forget the salami. How much for a finger?

>>15616042
It's the boiling béchamel for me. I too have been hurt by the delicious möther sauce.

Had to go to ER from a burn from oil. Took 6 mos to heal.

>>15620425
Nah the company covers all that, he was just a mad one, and he read up about it once because his friend lost his foot

Gave myself a first degree burn from boiling water

>>15613877
Dropped a big roll of seran wrap and caught it sort of and it kept falling while the plastic saw cut my fingers and palm.

>>15613943
dude weed lmao

>>15613877
>Frying food in pan
>Finish off in the oven
>Take pan out of the oven
>Forget pan was in the oven
The rest is history

>>15623202
I did too when I was 2.

>>15613877
I almost sliced the tip of my thumb off as a potato boy at a local fish and chips place cutting a bad part off a tater before I chunked it. Just got some gauze and a glove until my shift was over. Wasn't too bad

>>15623456
I’m 31 though

>>15616217
well he's 14 now so his knowledge of mature food for grownups has increased exponentially allowing him to recognize his earlier follies and anachronistic behaviour

>>15613877
Used to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at lunch time at a factory I worked at. Boss caught me and fired me. The pickle slicer? She got fired, too.

>>15617206
they will never be women

>>15613877
>bake something heavy in a heavy baking pan
>open oven door, use both hands to get pan out
>hit the door with my leg, hot metal oven door spring kicks in and snaps closed on my forearm
It's been almost 2 years and the skin is still a bit discolored. Had to put sunscreen on it basically any time I went out, shit was not cash. Welp at least I'm one of the chefboys now I guess.
also
>at parents' house
>cook lunch, do some frying in a cheap, chink pan that they have
>do a fancy chef pan flipparino
>pan handle breaks off, get food all over the stovetop
Don't buy flimsy pans, people. I was literally able to fold and roll that one with my hands lol.

>>15613877
Got a bad burn under my belly button she I was pouring pasta into a colander.

>>15613877
I overcooked my tendies. Biggest waste of tendies in the history of tendies.

>>15615265
>cheese
>bruchetta
I thought it was just tomato and olive oil, am i being memed?

>>15613943
Zack?

>>15616217
In based USA kids only eat spaghetti, pizza, food like they serve at mcdonalds, hot dogs, grilled cheese, and mac and cheese until they are, well, about 10 and kids menu portions are too small to satisfy and they need to branch out

>>15620447
if that's true, i'm really sorry to hear that anon. how did it happen?

>>15613877
Christ, it was about to go out on its own before he interfered.

>>15616393
They definitely could have reattached it, he's an idiot. Fingers can last for like 2 hours without blood

>>15617206
u was just grating ur dick cheese lol
also why the fuck are you cooking naked?

>>15614696
>left a 2mm deep nick in the bone
>from a can lid popping up
Lol wtf, how the fuck?
My brother is a line cook, and I was using his sharp ass knife to cut an onion drunk. I didn't bother to peel it before cutting off the ends. The knife slipped and cut to the bone in my finger. It was spurting blood in synch with my heartbeat.
I wrapped it with a paper towel and squeezed it over my head for 15 minutes and it was basically fully healed in the morning.
Should have drank your milk as a kid/teenager.

>>15616478
I hate faggots like you. Oxford commas are important. My dad's smart and doesn't get this. As a result, he literally got shit at his job for not clarifying better.
It's one keystroke or short penstroke to make sure what you meant lands, you lazy sack of fat shit.

>>15621174
>>15621205
There isn't a "better way" but if you're going to take a minimal precaution then you should nestle the 'cado in a towel folded over a few times

>>15621325
doesn't apply to small thin objects like a knife wound. Does apply if you get a large diameter puncture wound like a big splinter or piece of rebar or something

>>15614904
Eat the shell on the tail of fried shrimp or sething, you need more keratin.
I don't even knuckle shit because I know it'd fuck me up worse than the thousands of times a knife hit my nail and stopped.
I can tell when I'm really sick because my nails get thinner.

>>15622884
It might have been kinda old and out of production or she didn't know what the make was. You could go to Target and get a new one but it still wouldn't be the same

>>15623717
grim

I don't have any pics, but I think the worst injury I've had is when I was cleaning the flat top once, and a huge dollop of oil covered my entire thumb, causing the entire thing to turn into one big boil. I also have a permanent scar on my arm from an incident with a tray of oven-cooked bacon.

Overall, my six months in a kitchen was pretty okay, I just fucking sucked at my job.

>>15616042
You sound like a retard. If I'm fucked up bad, I'm going home. They're unlikely to fire you with the high rate of turnover. And with the experience you presumably had, it's even less likely, and you can always find a new joint to work at easily.
>le crocs meme
This is exactly why I bought actual work shoes that cost less with twice the material, despite most of my coworkers wearing crocs. That shit always struck me as extremely retarded, but I guess that's what should I expect as an intelligent fuckup loser that ended up in this industry.

>>15624041
In its pure form its bread garlic tomatoes olive oil
In its slightly less pure form it also has basil and some parmesan
In its chain Italian restaurant in Wisconsin form it also has mozzarella and maybe a balsamic drizzle

>>15616563
You work around a lot of heavy, sharp, and hot shit. It's to be expected. Nothing like working on an oil rig, but still.

>>15617039
>>my boss: “Gee, anon, I told you to put it away but not throw it away!”
>say something like: “I was gonna but it smelled a little funny"
Chad as fuck. I'd say utilize that to get a better career, but the chaddest guys I knew were all in meh jobs. Like the electrician I was under that couldn't figure out why his setup wasn't working, and when I asked why, he said "I put the wire in backwards". Or mechanics asking for a left handed spanner.

>>15617272
Laughing isn't that weird. It activates similar neural pathways as crying and screaming in pain.
Happened to me when a snapped a couple ligaments at the same time. I just laughed like a mad man, joker style.

>>15617987
Ironically, that injury is called degloving.

>>15624457
It really has bad optics. People around you rather keep their distance than to help, because god knows what's wrong with that maniac. Maybe I self conditioned, as I was always laughtig it off when talking about my childhood abuse. Pain goes brrrrt-ha-ha.

>>15624457
happened to me when I broke my leg trying to jump a fence. Shin snapped in half and I said " I think I broke my leg" held it up and my foot is dangling at 90 degrees and said "yeah that's definitely broken lol." I was fat at the time so I kept making jokes with medical people acting worried that the gravy would spill out of my leg

>>15621174
Literally just stick a butter knife or spoon under it and pry/pull it out. I feel like whoever came up with that technique was the type that tried to shove a cube into the triangle hole. It makes no sense and I don't get why it's popular.

>>15624512
you said "lol" out loud?

>>15615407
it was also my middle finger i'm surprised it healed without much fuss

>>15624333
>keratin.
bro do you know how sharp a a razor sharp knife is?... razor

>>15624794
Sure. This knife might not have been razor sharp, but it was sharp enough to peel off fingernail at a 10° angle the way I was taught in scouts. Dull knife slides, somewhat sharp knife bites into it, sharp knife peels it off. Banging off the nail at 90° is a different scenario.
I think that's why the would healed so fast, it was practically surgical, because I generally don't heal quickly.
I feel like a razor would do less damage hitting the nail perpendicular because it weighs so much less.

>>15613877
Microwaved boiled eggs and they fucking exploded. Ended up with a bad burn and egg all over my kitchen, there’s still some on my ceiling

>>15624310
Based and Oxford Comma pilled.

>>15624874
How long ago was this and why haven't you cleaned it yet you lazy nigger

>>15624824
i didn't knock my nail off or anything. it bit into the nail and with a forward slicing down motion passed through my nail effortlessly without its path altering as if it was cutting through an onion. it didn't just cut my nail it took a chunk of the skin underneath with it, this is a knife that can effortlessly shave my forearm dry or wet

>>15624874
i did that when i was a kid but i ate the explosion and thought it was a cool way to cook an egg

Worked cook at a diner, water main burst in the summer during a Sunday breakfast rush. Only the back was flooded so we ended up working the whole shift in shit water up to our ankles. I am still shocked that we just continued service like we weren't a sinking ship of brewing E. Coli.

>>15614509
after playing football for years as a kid i still try to catch anything i drop with my foot, can't wait to do that when i eventually drop my knife while cooking

>>15624958
lmao, that must have been a spicy shift

>>15624636
no it's not a direct quote don't be daft

>wife and I both work from home
>she can't really cook and I'm an artist so I have way more free time
>do 90% of the cooking
>get a mandolin one day so we can have pickled red onions in the house
>get a cheap $30 and complain the entire time the guard is shit
>get through 4 onions and fill the first jar
>start working on some carrots
>get through the first one and consider switching to a knife because the mandolin was giving me way too thick slices, like 5mm thick and I wanted paper thin
>"I'll finish this carrot and switch"
>carrot breaks in half and decide fuck the guard I'll be careful
>swipe it twice
>feel a twinge
>2cm of my middle finger is gone, now gushing blood
>assume it's the same as every other minor injury I've had to my hands over the years
>calmly ask wife to help me out in the bathroom
>start realizing how bad it is because holding gauze to it isn't stopping the bleeding
>wife is panicking super fucking hard and can't help me too much because she's so scared
>tourniquet my finger and sit down, ask her to go look up what to do
>she runs out of the room to get her phone
>next thing I know I'm on the ground
>turns out my blood pressure dropped and I spiked my head off of the ground after passing out for a moment
>she's shaking me trying to get me awake and telling me she's calling the ambulance
>end up regrowing 99% of the tip of my finger but unable to hold a pen for a month plus

Cut myself worse doing hobby shit years earlier when I took the front side of my thumb mostly off but there's something to be said when you're simultaneously worried about not scaring the person who's helping you and terrified of why that shit is still bleeding.

>>15613877
>working at McD's
>there's a wide black scoop that you're supposed to use to pick up bacon
>everyone also uses it to grab sausage even though that's not procedure
>follow everyone's example
>grease splatters onto my pinkie
>got at least 5 nested blisters
>even 6 months afterward there was another blister that formed and I have a permanent red welt on that finger

>>15625165
>held it up and my foot is dangling at 90 degrees and said "yeah that's definitely broken lol."
You specifically used the word "said" and then literally quoted yourself

>>15625455
ok "yeah that's definitely broken" and then I proceeded to laugh
much better and efficient. nobody says lol irl

Stubbed my toes

Got this by trying to open a cup of dried noodles with a knife for reasons. The blade hit the bone. Probably should have got stitches, since it healed weird and now my pinky finger is deformed.

>>15622603
I guess they just see grandpa's grandpa's gun lying around and think "fuck it lets kill my ex"

>>15625806
Do you get any pain still?

4 years through and I never suffered from much physically. I make a fool out of myself in other ways
>working in large college cafeteria
>walk-in is huge, the shelves are lined with 4 gallon cambros topped off with pic related
>shelf isn't tall enough to fit the ice wand so the tips lean out into the aisle
>across the aisle are huge lexans
>try to move a #50 lexan of potatoes in water from a cart onto another stack of lexans across the aisle
>bend my legs to attempt a safe lift
>waistline of my pants get caught on an ice wand mid lift
>ice wand was cooling cheese sauce
>ice wand gets stuck and pulls the whole 4 gallon cambro off the shelf
>the drop makes the ice wand pull my pants to my ankles
>bare legs, shoes, pants, floor, and underwear are now covered in yellow american cheese sauce
>all while I'm shaking and struggling to lift something I shouldn't be carrying by myself
>drop potatoes on another stack of lexans and break the lid I was supposed to place it on
>potato lexan sinks into 20 gallons of chicken stock
>somehow the cambro of cheese sauce lands safely on its base
>I'm bent over gasping for breath
>grill cook was watching me the whole time from the window
>she opens the door and calmly asks if I need help
>NO I'M FINE HAHAHAHA
>gives me a weird look and walks away
took me a good 15 minutes to change pants and clean up the mess. I was always in too much of a hurry to find people and ask for a team lift, I'm lucky I never pulled anything

>>15626920
mmm did your bum hole and sack smell nice and cheesy afterwards?

>>15626920
another one from the same walk-in
>college handled all the kitchen maintenance, our chef never had a say in actual work done on the kitchen
>walk-in floor gets replaced one day
>we find out the college just told them to put another layer of metal on top of the old one
>new floor is made up of steel tiles, with cracks in between tiles
>all sorts of sauces and liquids end up getting spilled in the cracks
>mop the floor and get the cracks wet night after night
>cooler gets a gross moldy smell after a couple weeks
>tiles have too much liquid under them and tilt a little with given weight
>one day I'm taking off a 60# lexan of herb marinated chicken in the same fashion as the last story
>end up slipping on something and drop the lexan
>10 lbs of chicken fall to the ground and the bright green chicken marinade seeps through the cracks
>couple days later the smell gets worse
>the tiles where I spilled the chicken have a green liquid ooze out when stepped on
>sous chef kyle calls this horrifying liquid "the beast"
>he and my other sous are doing inventory, other sous has a really sensitive stomach
>go in to walk-in and kyle gives me a shit-eating grin
>he walks over to the cursed tile next to my other sous and jumps on it as hard as he can
>vile dark green chicken juice shoots up from the cracks, gets about a foot off the ground
>he yells AWAKEN THE BEAST
>smell hits us all and our other sous runs out to the bathroom gagging and cursing kyle out
>laugh our asses off
>kyle makes me mop it up
the mop water gradually diluted the the beast but it took a couple weeks. one accident I don't regret
>>15626935
it was too thick to soak through my undies. shit was like the gas station cheese sauce, just made in a "scratch kitchen"

the worst injury i ever got in a kitchen was probably the day i left kitchen service for good
>be me
>working as grill and fry chef in a chip shop
>in the back kitchen frying up chicken in a pressure fryer
pic related
>thing was like 15 or 20 years old and in shit condition, owners got it second hand
for those of you who dont know, a pressure fryer has 2 compartments
one on top for the frying, and one underneath for holding filtered oil
>now it had been a busy day and the regular prep chef had just quit, so it was me and one of the owners in the kitchen, him in the front kitchen and me in the prep kitchen
>owner was a retard foreigner, if brains were dynamite he couldnt blow his nose, you get the deal
>he had filtered the fryer and left the hot oil in the bottom
>despite this, the machine insists that it needs to be filtered, and refuses to fry if it isnt
>boss doesnt say shit so i hit the button to filter it again
>the pipe must have been clogged right at the valve, because it took a few seconds for it to start flowing
>sorry did i say flowing? i meant blasting out under pressure because of the clogged pipe, the sealed compartment, and the fact its a fucking pressure fryer
> 80 liters of scalding hot oil splash me and everything else in the kitchen
>i, of course, immediately run to where we prep the potatoes for the fries, and hose myself off
>back inside, soaking wet, i throw my hat at the boss and tell him to stick his job up his ass, and walked out
to this day that is the only time i have quit a job mid-shift

>>15616042
>spanshed back of hand with super-heated custard. Sticky and hot as fuck. Basically napalmed myself
KEK

>>15623456
based
I stuck a fork in a power socket and stole heart medication and lived to tell the tale

>>15613943
Ian?

>>15623325
you can be high on other drugs than weed retard. what are you 14

>>15613877
As a bartender, just busting about 30 glasses in under a second because I fucked up holding the rack. Got shit in for a solid month for it, got to shit on another bartender earlier today when she nearly did the same.

>Be manlet working in kitchen
>Dishwasher
>Kitchen staff keeps giant Lex Pans on top of speed rack in corner of kitchen
>Told to just throw them up their since I cant reach
>Lexpan hits the ceiling knocking a Vent cover loose making it fall on my head
>All the cooks are staring at me terrified
>MFW i was completely fine

Sliced off a good chunk of my fingernail, got lucky and didn't cut too deep into the skin

>>15613943
Pete?

>>15626985
I visited the states once and became instantly addicted to gas station nachos with the plastic yellow goo on top. how do I make the yellow goo at home?

>>15621476
We wuz chefs n shiett

When i was 4 years old, i wanted to be like my dad so i took his thermos of coffe and was trying to figure out how to drink it. I held my mouth open and tipped the thermos upside down after srewing with the lid and boiling hot coffee poured down my throat and onto my face. I still remember the pain

>>15613943
Ethan?

>>15613943
Joe?

>>15614064
I’ve done this. Left an impression of the handle in my palm like the guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I ended up claiming it was from our blanching baskets that had no rubberized handles so the cheap fuck boss would buy new ones. He never did.

>>15627706
just make a cheese sauce with just american cheese, it melts easily. that's it really, seasoning is optional

>>15613877
Probably a kid. Don't ask.

>>15613877
this is my favorite /ck/ webm. the body language is so perfect.

>>15614222
Holy fuck anon that's hardcore man. You're hardcore.

Gave myself a third degree burn with a caramel spill on my finger. It was a small surface area burn, but it was probably one of the most painful things I've ever felt.

>>15625198
>ask her to go look up what to do
What do you mean? What do you need to look up? Isn't it obvious you either need to go to the nearest hospital for emergencies or just call an ambulance?

>>15615223
Can confirm, Hospitality is a lucrative and rewarding industry.

>>15613943
Nigger.

>>15624310
You’re kind of a whiny sperg but you are absolutely correct about the Oxford comma.

>>15626425
No. Of course, this was something like 14 years ago.

I had a bowl explode in my hand, made some mac and cheese and once I was done I washed the bowl, then I thought I would make another bowl of it, so I took the barely dry bowl which I just washed with nice hot water and got some water from the dispenser on the fridge, I noticed a weird noise so I was going to set the bowl down on the counter when BAM burst in my hand, I have a 2 scars, one is a line across my 2nd knuckle on my left ring finger, and on my middle finger on the same hand I have a a scar where it took a chunk of my finger off on the 3rd knuckle, its weirdly loose, not that noticeable, but at least 1 person has mentioned it before.

story a friend told me, some people in his class were having a graduation party since they were done with cook school, so the guy gets a brand new chiefs knife, immediately tries to cut something, slips and he takes off the tip of his thump right through the nail.

another story, guy was making caramel, he has no idea how to tell if its done, it looks cool so he pokes it, molten caramel sticks to his finger, he washes it off then passes out on the kitchen floor, wakes up later, the nail has completely pealed off, the caramel is ruined since he didn't turn the stove off first.

>>15614002
It's literally a comedy skit retard

>>15621300
I hope you beat his tard ass

>>15613877
I burned my hand on a stainless steel pan I'd put on the grill. I wasn't thinking about it and went to grab the handle on the pan without a glove and realized my mistake after holding onto it for about 3/4 of a second. No scaring, but my steak was cold by the time I got back from the store and buying burn ointment.

>>15622603
It's like 650fps my slingshot is faster, I wanna see it in some full retard gun like a Mac 10

>>15622603
Paul literally talked about offing a deer with one of those in yesterday's video.
Is that the joke?

>>15624512
Based lardass

>>15624949
>the virgin egg boiler vs the chad eggsploder

>>15613877
My girlfriend's electric stove caught fire once because someone had spilled something greasy inside of it at some point, and it finally caught. I turned the burners off, put the covers on all of them, and got the fire extinguisher ready.

Between fast food and restaurant shit, I feel I've been fairly well prepared. I've dealt with arcing electrical panels above a flattop with a twitchy gas connection. I've been smacked with hot fryer baskets, and had a chef throw a hot pan at me. I've burned myself, sliced myself, and had an unstable pastry chef light my apron on fire. I learned not to panic fairly early in my career/life... and learned that I'd rather cook for fun than for a living pretty early on too - less scars and burnout that way.

cut the tips off a few fingers, but nothing serious
lost large chunk of a knuckle from mandolin
Had a full coffee pot run down my back
Fell down the stairs because a fuckwit dropped oil on a tread
After several years I made it out pretty unscathed, but I've witness someone losing a whole finger to a band saw, another person had their whole face burned pretty badly by a steam kettle.. another dumped boiling water down her whole leg and into her shoes and had to go to hospital to remove her clothing from her skin and to get grafts... saw someone stick themselves trying to peel onions too fast

>>15613943
dude

>>15627287
Ayy lmao

Had chicken braising for 2 hours and pulled the oven rack out too far and it fell on the floor
Had guests in the other room

I picked the dirt and hair and stuff off and served it anyway. Nobody knew it happened

>>15613877
I dropped hot water for herb tea in my belly like a dumb idiot.

I was roasting a chicken in a cast iron skillet in the oven. Placed it on the stovetop and turned around to grab something. Then I turned around again to rotate the pan and grabbed it with my bare hand and got burned.

Cut myself on a knife some dickhead from FoH put in the sink. Cut went down my finger quite deep, it healed very nicely though with no scar. Also got oil splatters in my eye and on arms. I barely registered the pain because I'd started developing cluster headaches. Got that bad had to stop working, I miss my nob, was very chill and we finished at 7

>>15626920
>walk-in is huge, the shelves are lined with 4 gallon cambros topped off with pic related
>>shelf isn't tall enough to fit the ice wand so the tips lean out into the aisle
>>across the aisle are huge lexans
>>try to move a #50 lexan of potatoes in water from a cart onto another stack of lexans across the aisle
None of this made any sense to me

>>15631060
I was also wondering if this was some AI spam post lmao
Im 12 and wats a huge lexan

>>15631060
>Walk in
Walk in fridge
>4 gallon cambros
4 gallon (clear) plastic tubs, usually with red lids. Cambro is one of many suppliers of such.
>Shelf isn't tall enough...
They stick the tips of the cooling wands out into the aisle. This is not the best practice.
>Huge (#50) Lexans
Giant tubs (usually made of grey plastic or clear acrylic rather than lexan - as it scratches really easily, which can harbour bacterial growth) - #50 should be read as 50lb, as their nominal weight capacity is 50lbs.
>try to move
He tried to move an awkward, 50lb tub of potatoes in water onto a stack of similar tubs.

>>15627281
Retardation or suicidal?

>>15628675
I hope you learned your lesson about buying chinesium

>>15629082
Kek, hell no. He could murder someone and my aunt wouldn't care. One time he threw his tablet at my shoulder and when all I did was turn around and yell "Hey!" out of reflex, my aunt yelled at ME.

>>15629426
>had an unstable pastry chef light my apron on fire
Storytime?

>>15631120
Thx but what is a cooling wand?

>>15631362
Beat the shit out of your aunt then she sounds like a moldy cunt flap

>>15631581
Dude was a basket case. He would regularly kind of threaten me with caramel - "If I were to pour this on you, it would burn down through your muscle tissue. For a few moments it would be excruciating, but it would quickly kill the nerves." "So... do me a favour, and don't pour your caramel on me."

I was helping him make some caramel balls for the next night's event when the party cancelled. He decided that rather than tell me that there's no reason to keep drizzling caramel on frozen molds, he would stealthily untie my apron, light one of the strings on fire, and light a smoke with it... and not tell me that I'm on fire. I caught a whiff of the smoke, then caught a glimpse of my apron being on fire - quickly tossed it in the sink and let the water run a bit, then stole the smoke out of his mouth and crushed what was left of it in two breaths while I stared him down, and told him "Smoking's bad for you."

That was not a normal job.

>>15631651
It's either metal or fillable plastic - you freeze it, and put it in hot liquids to cool them down. There are electrical ones too, but I don't imagine the ones at play in buddy's story were.

>>15631124
I was 2 at the time

I accidentally pressed and held my arm onto a 450 degree oven grate I am not even sure how I managed to do this. It was right on the corner and for years I had to look at my retarded grill line branded arm. Luckily it has faded away after 5 years.

>>15622603
you just need to use good ammo for them

>>15631663
Holy shit there has to be more, dude was a fucking nutter by the sounds of it

>>15613877
Put a knife into the flesh under my skinn in the meat between the thumb and the line of bones that becomes the index finger. Didn't hurt, didn't really bleed, but required stitches. Had a purple scar which has faded to nearly invisible.
Did it by trying to pry off what I thought was the seal on the top of a bottle of oil. It wasn't the seal though, it was part of the bottle neck, and when I pressed hard enough on it the knife slipped and went right into the flesh. It was a sharpened steak knife, so I guess that's why it went in and out so clean.

>>15631663
>smoking in the kitchen

>>15628249
Americans get charged $10,000 per ambulance ride before tip

>>15632299
The head chef had gone home... I think we had it down to three other people, probably just on prep and cleanup by that point - I remember it was a slow night for reservations, and we didn't take walk ins. If either of us had done that in front of the chef, he'd have fired our asses on the spot. The smell of charred apron covered the smell of charred tobacco quite well.

>>15632234
I caught him crying in the freezer fairly regularly. The first time was my first time meeting him on my first day. The chef told me afterward that it's kinda normal for him, and he's talented enough to keep on. It was really rare he even needed help. He had two underlings that spent most of their time learning rather than doing, or getting pulled onto the line when we were in the weeds. They probably cooked more steaks than cakes there.

>>15614521
Hope this teaches you to keep the sauce for after work. Seriously, next time you could hurt someone else and that’d be a real tragedy. Like, if you come in drunk and burn me, I’m going to break your teeth.

>>15632404
I kind of want to test this theory. Open flame? Hot oil? Boiling water? A combination of the three?

>>15631157
we still have one more bowl from that set, its a white glass but its not a super solid white color, I avoid it like the plague, super fragile shitty bowls.

>>15632279
You're either ESL or as high as me rn

>>15614696
I hate blood so fucking much i want to vomit wtf

Prepping food at a restaurant I was working at. Cutting small yellow potato's in half. Dull knife slipped and I MOSTLY cut off the tip of my thumb.the Sous Chef told me to bite the rest of it off. In my immediate panic, I did ,and I spit my little piece of thumb off onto the floor. I bled for the next four hours of my shift and was unable to work for the rest of it. I just sat where we roll silver ware with my arm above my head and my thumb wrapped in gauze.

>>15613943
Dave?

>>15622603
They have their uses but I recommend you better be up close and personal with it if you do. Like real up and close. Its not some 100 yard shooter more like less than a yard.

>>15613943
Mike?

>>15631651
a big bottle of ice water you put in sauce when you want to cool them quick. example a morning prep cook makes a sauce when its hot in the morning but it will be needed for dinner service. if that is the case you need to cool the sauce to proper cold storage temp fast so bacteria cant grow. this is pretty basic food sanitation on a professional level. so an ice bath or an ice wand is used to ensure this happens

>>15633146
Daves not here

>>15622482
You obviously used it upside-down.

>>15614008
>>15616453
It's funny when it happens to aomeone else