/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Ladies: if you meet a guy who carries one of these suck his dick. Just trust me on this one.

What's wrong with them? They're handy at a kickback when some fag brings beaner beer.

Also my gf loves me and has for 2 and a half years so get owned.

>>15467511
just use your teeth you retard

>>15467473
just use a spoon

Bros: all femoids are whores, do not date them. Just trust me on this one.

>>15467519
Some of us have good teeth and want to keep them that way

>>15467511
its only bad if you buy some branded one and think its some sort of brand new invention, like the hipsters who think Hydro Flask invented the concept of a thermos.

>>15467511
Let me guess, you only drink Coors Light like some faggot Amerilard.

>>15467547
That is pretty fucking gay true. Can't even recall where I got mine it came free in some goody bag for some conference shit I had to attend. Whatever logo it had has all but faded away and it's just solid green.

>>15467473
Only a faggot feels the need to carry a bottle opening everywhere
I hate fat people btw

>>15467473
there are five hundred ways to open a beer without that

>>15467553
Miller High Life, the champagne of beers faggot

I some times use a side of a brick or keys or a knife. Ladies I'm single.

>>15467570
>>15467587
I bet you're proud but whenever there's a gathering of friends I get asked probably a dozen or more times for people to borrow my keychain to open a beer. But you go smash a beer on a rock to feel cool :^)

>>15467524
t. gay recruiter

>>15467610
i just pop it with my lighter

>>15467618
thats the chad way

I’ve got one that says “pop the question, get consent” on it that I got in college at a party. Been on me for 5 years. Works great, married as fuck tho we do fuck around together occasionally

>>15467610
Imagine having the personality of being the guy with the bottle opener. Even worse imagine being in a party where no one knows how to open bottles without a bottle opener. Sure bud real cool.

>>15467618
Imagine smoking

>>15467636
weed, not faggots

>>15467671
It's funny because weed is for faggots, get cancer like us cool guys.

>>15467636
cigarettes are good for ya

>>15467519
>>15467511
The only time I had a woman flirt with me first was when I used the edge of a table to pop off a bottle cap.

>>15467636
Dont have to imagine.. virgin who doesnt know how to open bottles with a lighter detected

>>15467553
I find these comments humorous yet sad. I end up realizing that there are poor people that don't live in the greatest country ever. You have internet access which is progress, but your life is likely horrible. All the while you access the internet to try and talk shit to people from the very country you undoubtedly envy. I hope you're able to find solace in your meager life

>>15467632
bu bu free beers if you're the guy with the opener and knows how to connect kegs and stuff.

>>15467722
Do americans really?

>>15467722
Man, you fuckin people are just right out of touch. The only people that want to live in America are from countries where there’s nothing but rape and muddy drinking water. Your country’s a dump, and what’s worse, it’s full if Americans. Enjoy your civil war, dickhead.

I don't understand. You guys are angry with bottle openers now?

>>15467722
Lol they just don’t understand anon, they can’t understand.

>>15467710
And then you woke up.

>>15467716
Imagine the smell

>>15467473
I just use my ring to open bottles.

>>15467774
Americans are savage, unhuman creatures with no humanity, and they're all brainwashed sheep to some degree.

>>15467859
And everyone whose not from American is, well, not American. Except for Chinese people, who are nega-Americans

>>15467722
At least you don't live in Australia, it's hellish.

>>15467805
Indeed, they watch some retard news show and think that represents the entirety of this country . All good, but comical if they think their life is better. My life is fucking awesome, I was gifted with being a decently well off person in a great country. Yes there are problems but nothing insurmountable . If my biggest problem is I have too much clothes and other items which I'll throw away, I know I'm better off than some euro eating kebabs on a street corner with cold hands watching his girlfriend get raped by a muzzie

>>15467881
Australia sounds cool from all I see and hear, but I guess we all have problems, be they abbos, niggers or something else

>>15467774
Enjoy watching your mum get raped by a pack of pajeets

>>15467734
>knowing how to connect kegs
bar chads unite

>>15467511
ex gf loved me for 4 and half years before I left her and she had another man in under 2 weeks. HAHAHA,,,,......

>>15467813
Nah, it was in college.

>>15468021
that sucks man screw that bitch I'd buy you a shot and a beer

>>15468021
>I left her
Was she supposed to be sitting around moping or what? You shat on her so she went out and got some dick.

>>15467774
>Enjoy your civil war
I will thanks! And when we are done we are coming for your shithole country next. Get ready for some democracy faggot.

>>15468030
thanks, ots a bad time for me, was a bad time then too. hoped to get better but it was quick decision.
>>15468048
no, I just needed time to myself. she took this as a reason to hop on the next guy. spend 4 years with someone and then just hop around man.

>>15468064
Ah so you're a huge dramatic faggot that breaks up with someone to get "time to myself" then gets upset when the person won't stick around to wait out your tantrum? Hope it was BBC she jumped on

>>15468064
You sound like a huge fag. Why break up then expect her to stay faithful to you when you're now her ex?

>>15468064
slut could wait like 4 weeks at least

>>15467774
Agreed. I'm German, also lived in Sweden and Belgium for a while. I wish I lived in the United States. Europe is pathetic.

>>15467473
My bottle opener was on my keys in my pocket when I went to a Papal Mass, so every time I drink beer, it's transformed into Holy Beer.
Checkmate, atheists.

>>15468175
um sweaty it would have to be specifically blessed by a priest

>>15468201
>implying that Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the Vatican City State, Servant of the servants of God is not a priest

>>15468223
but he didn't bless YOUR opener. still very cool you got to go a papal mass and ur bottle opener is definitely at least a bit holy now.

>>15468223
Holy shit, I hate catholics.

>>15468306
Proddie's just make me cringe at this point

>>15468399
I legitimately don't understand how someone could see that title, or the mere idea of saints in general, and not immediately think idolatry.

>>15467473
I used to get all kind of bottle openers from representatives from all breweries on the west coast, and all the leading brands in the nations of course. I'd hand them out to all my employees. I do still carry a bottle opener on my keys, but not one of this design. No one flirts with me and I don't flirt with anyone either.

>>15468434
Saint literally just means "holy one". Do you not think there are people who have achieved holiness?

wow for once the christcucks are making a thread less gay

>>15468474
There's a huge difference between the literal definition and Catholic canonization. People literally pray to coins of saint christopher where I am. Praying to the virgin Mary, I can understand (though I personally disagree with.) Praying to saints means you're not a christian.

>>15468505
There's a difference between praying to a saint and asking a saint for intercession in a particular prayer. Mary seems to be the only saint who is directly prayed to, probably because of her special role as mediator to a relationship with Christ

>>15468591
I disagree both in general and in your specific point about Mary. Asking a saint for intercession means you are worshiping that saint before God, which makes you an idolater. And more specific, the fact that coins of saint Christopher exist are pretty hard evidence of idolatry,

And furthermore, I'm going to go back and bring up your point about "saint literally just means holy one." Everyone who has accepted Jesus as their savior has achieved holiness. How is someone more holy than another? Even Jesus himself was just a man - that's the entire fucking point. And I haven't even mentioned the idea of holy trinity or the pope yet.

>>15468673
>How is someone more holy than another?
By bringing their spiritual state closer and closer to God
>Even Jesus himself was just a man
Blasphemy
>Asking a saint for intercession means you are worshiping that saint
It does not, it means you have reverence for that certain saint and are asking him or her to put a good word in with God

Catholics worship the trinitarian God as defined by the various church councils that have taken place, it's very simple in its essence

>>15467473
I have one of those and a few other equivalent keychain bottle openers. They get given away for free sometimes and people have gifted me a couple because they cost like $1 and my main personality trait is "drunk". While there's no possible reason i'll need to have 3 bottle openers on my keychain, i do, and ultimately OP is right that i am not a good dating decision.

>>15468760
>By bringing their spiritual state closer and closer to God
Are you a fucking buddhist? Christianity isn't about becoming God or becoming close with him. That's impossible. Christianity is accepting that you are imperfect and that you are a sinner and then about asking for forgiveness and asking and trying to be better.
>>Even Jesus himself was just a man
>Blasphemy
I wish you led with this. That's all I need to know about you and your thought process, and that's why catholics are idolaters. Literally the entire point of the new testament is that Jesus is just a man. He is flawed, he has desires, but he sacrifices to redeem you. Yes, he obviously has divine blood as the son of god but he, himself, is a man.
> as defined by the various church councils
I don't care about "church councils." I care about the bible and I care about what Jesus and God said. You are putting the words of man over the word of the lord. I understand the appeal since there's quite a bit of his word that can be vague or can be left up to interpretation, but trusting another to interpret that word for you is dangerous.

>>15468835
>Christianity isn't about becoming God or becoming close with him. That's impossible.
not even reading the rest of your post. literally glance at your bible that you smack over other people's heads

>bottle opener thread devolves into christcuck pissing match about whose flavor of dead kike on a stick is better
Wow,

>>15467495
I have one of those and I only occasionally get my dick sucked. What gives?

>>15467511
Just use a lighter

>>15468835
>the entire point of the new testament is that Jesus is just a man
He's the Son of Man. He has a divine nature and he has a human nature which are united in one nature called a Hypostasis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypostatic_union
They defined it long ago that he's as much a full man as he is fully God

>>15468852
You should really try buddhism, anon. Trying to reach Nirvana seems more your speed since you don't seem to understand the concept of god and seem to conflate it with the idea of heaven.

>>15468892
>They
Other than saints, that's my issue with catholicism. I don't care what "they" say. Man's interpretation will always be imperfect, and I understand that I am just a man as well and therefore my interpretation will also be imperfect. What I don't understand is willfully making that even worse by going through ten more layers of that with all these councils and with each new pope coming up with a new interpretation. God's word is all that's needed. If I am wrong, I'm sorry. I ask for his forgiveness, and I understand that as long as I was making the attempt, he will forgive me. The pope has no such authority.

>>15468900
I think I'll keep trying to understand the mysteries of Christ in my way, thanks for the recommendation though

>>15468932
>in my way
That's the problem though. You're not. You're just listening to the pope.

>>15468922
I really think there is only one pure Christian religion just like any protestant, at the core the protestant arguments have some justification. The thing is you end up rejecting saints and really based people from the past. idk I don't have the answer I just pray the Rosary sometimes

>>15468957
I think the current pope is corrupt as fuck and vatican 2 was a mistake. freemasons and satanists literally have influence now. I can't get into it all rn. If you want a based pope read up on this guy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Pius_X

>>15467828
who are you smelling good for you faggot?

>>15468172
KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK

>>15468961
I'm not saying we can't learn from saints or from the past. I'm saying that Catholics have taken that WAY too far. I'm not rejecting saints as people or rejecting them as historical figures we can learn from - I'm rejecting them as being more holy than anyone else. There is no such thing as being 'more holy' with the possible exception of Jesus himself. No problem with rosaries. That's more like directed prayer or meditation - you're not worshiping the necklace like you would be with saints. I agree that there is a pure Christian religion, but I'm not quite sure what that is. I'm just trying to distill it to its elements by trying to be good, accepting Jesus, and asking God for forgiveness for anything I might have fucked up along the way.

>>15468980
I don't understand how someone could be a catholic and think that way. If the pope is corrupt, then he wasn't chosen by god - or at the very least, he doesn't always speak for god, which means you're listening to the word of a man that's no more valid than your own interpretation. Why?

>>15469012
My girl friend and those around me you ass smelling weak lung piece of shit go get winded up a flight of stairs smokey

>>15469031
If the pope is corrupt, then he wasn't chosen by god - or at the very least, he doesn't always speak for god, which means you're listening to the word of a man that's no more valid than your own interpretation. Why?
For the sake of tradition and culture but the papacy has gotten especially bad since vatican 2 at this point I simply rely on a conviction that God that wouldn't lead me astray and just hope the stuff I read about Christ is enough. One is Catholic by blood though

>>15469038
I just want to date a grill who smokes

>>15467553
i have one of these and i will drink pretty much anything, deal with it faggot.

>>15467859
True, I expect nothing less from a nation if immigrants

>>15467881
>At least you don't live in Australia, it's hellish.
because?

>>15467722
>>15467734
>>15467914

Spoken like true Patriots.

Glad you guys are here.

>>15469517

Sorry meant to quote:

>>15467722
>>15467805
>>15467914

>>15469494
The wildlife and the heat...

>>15467473
Male hands wrote this post.

The hot bartender a few jobs back gave me the bud light one I keep on my keychain.

>>15467547
I thought this was the kind of thing you either randomly get for free from somewhere or accidentally steal from one of your friends, but you don't remember which one so you can't give it back.

>>15467716
Based as fuck. I've literally never seen someone whine about smokers who wasn't a female or a massive faggot liberal

>>15468137
So she could take care of your feelings?
After you broke up with her...?
Wow, check out this loser. Pussywhipped bitch. Mommy didnt love you enough?

>>15468223
>bragging about attending a papal mass officiated by the current pope
Ask me how I know you're some third-worlder, likely from South America.

>>15470538
No, I went to one with the Hitler Youth Pope

>>15467636
imagine not smoking LOL

>>15467627
>tho we do fuck around together occasionally
ngmi
>>15469788
It should be. I've thrown countless bottle openers out, since they are a popular freebie.

>>15467473
Sir, this is a food and cooking image board.

I use this pos.
It's nice and small, but it's a real bitch to use. No where near as convenient looking as the gif. And when you pull on it, it jams into your finger which hurts a bit. Really only to be used if you're in a bind and have literally no other improvised way to open it.

>>15467473
>he doesn't have a geekey
You know how much pussy I don't get with this thing?

I have never been in a situation where I needed to open a bottle and could not just use a nearby object.
You can literally just use a stick you pick up from the ground.
Or you can use another bottle.

>>15471838
I see it has an appropriately sized penis measurement gauge, for when the lady's doubt your claims.

>>15471838

looks like anyone owning one of those would be able to measure their dick with it

>>15471292
Is it though?

>>15471875
>>15471879
Your jealousy feeds me. I am full now.

>>15471917
>he drives a Toyota
I could possibly be less jealous.

>>15467710
Note to everyone else: Women who are impressed by dudes ruining tables trying to pop bottle caps off are not worth chasing.

>>15471943
Please! A man can only get so full!

>>15471954
What does impress a good woman then?

>>15467520
you'd be more repulsive by bringing a spoon wherever you go

>>15467473
If you think I'm using my teeth, you better pay my dental bills.

>>15472053
My fat sweaty hog

>>15472117
I thought pigs couldn't sweat...

>>15467716
once you learn how to open beer with a lighter you can open a beer with pretty much anything as well

>>15467473
>there are people ON THIS BOARD and IN THIS THREAD and IN THIS VERY SECOND who do not know how to open a bottle with another bottle
you must be niggers cause you obviously never had a dad. I bet you read JBP you fucking philistines.

>>15467636
>imagine not carying at least 3 ways of starting a fire on your person at all times, ( excepting the shower and bed.)

>>15472053
nothing, unironically

>>15472884
That's comforting, actually.

>>15472889
no i mean, do nothing.

>>15472755
My dad gave me a swiss army knife when I was a kid. I didn't need to learn your ghetto beer-spilling trick.

>>15471943
a toyota is nice

>>15472898
Do you mean "nothing will impress women," or do you mean "doing nothing will impress women?"

>>15472966
second one

>>15472911
Oops, touched a nerve. Ah yes, the Swiss army knife you keep with you at all times to remind you of how your dad fucked your ripe little bussy while cupping your prepubescent balls before ditching your black ass, I can almost relate.
Now what if there's no Swiss army knife? And what if anyone could, purely and completely hypothetically, go out and buy a Swiss army knife and render your faggy heirloom pointless? What if I both own a Swiss army knife — from my granddad who was too old and flaccid to fuck me — AND I know something that you don't, possess a skill that you don't have?
Hey but you have appliances to do the work for you, guess the joke's on me. What an accomplishment. I bet your dad wouldn't be disappointed.

>>15472971
That sounds like it'd impress 16 year old girls that would be happy with you having a fake ID to get them wine coolers and weed. Not women.

>>15468673
>Even Jesus himself was just a man
Jesus was/is 100% man and 100% divine. You need to pick up your Bible again

>>15468673
That other Catholic poster isn't very good at explaining the concept of intercessory prayer, but boy you sure don't have a clue about the basic tenets of Christianity.

>>15472993
lol, that's why you don't impress good women

>>15473115
>good women
nice hedging, faggot. Fuck off.

>>15472120
I thought so too until I met your mom.

>>15472218
I have almost that exact one. However the fucker is made of aluminum so it wears down over time and becomes less effective with each use.

>>15473141
i'd say i struck a nerve but there is no nerve to strike

>>15467632
imagine thinking material possessions like a bottle opener define your personality, what a vapid retard holy kek

>>15473172
This is a concession, not an argument. I'm not even >>15472993 but I could see through your bullshit. Try again in 2022 maybe.

>>15472973

>>15468881
I just use a nearby table.

>>15467636
imagine drinking

>>15472755
I don't know many people who know how to do this. I do it when around people and every so often someone asks "what do you do when you don't have another bottle?" the answer is "buy more beer" but truthfully if you open things this way it doesn't damage the cap so you can just slap an old cap back on a bottle and use it to open your beer.

>>15472973
is this pasta?

>>15472053
>>15472117
>>15472120
>>15473145
10/10

>>15472995
something can't be 200% lmao what a dummy

>>15467587
i can use anything with a flat surface that can be levered to open a beer bottle

>>15467511
>he doesn’t know how to open a bottle with another bottle
lmao fag get out of here with your gay ass bottle-opener

>>15473271
>>15472755
There is never a situation where I’m drinking beer or any crown capped beverage while not having my keys and key ring. Opening a bottle with another bottle is definitely a cool party trick, but it’s hardly a skill. It’s a solution and one that people only seek because they’re completely unprepared and don’t have any other options. I have been at parties and people have asked to use my bottle opener, and in a handful of cases it was over someone else offering up their “skill” of a novelty opener like a lighter, piece of paper or another bottle.

In any case, I 99% drink bought beer in cans anyway because it’s more portable, preserves longer and takes up less space in my bag when I commute and pick up beer on the way home.

>>15473556
not all of us are degenerate pieces of shit who makes sure to always have their car keys on then while drinking. I open beers with other beers while sitting at my desk. it is hardly a skill and it's faster than using a bottle opener because there are two beers next to each other already

>>15473592
I just have a wine bottle opener sitting on a magnet on the refrigerator. I just open the bottle when I take it out. Not that complicated.

>>15473592
So you don’t carry your house/car keys with you when you go to a party?

I have a bottle opener at my desk. One of those ultra cheapos that’s just a piece of wood with a bent nail in it.

If I’m anywhere else in the house I use a bottle opener that I keep in my silverware drawer. If I’m planning to drink more than one beer throughout the night then I don’t put it away. I’m I’m going to be a total degenerate and drink a sixer in front of my TV I take the bottle opener with me into the front room. I get that you don’t have a problem using a bottle but I really question that it’s easier, faster or more efficient than a dedicated tool. But whatever.

>>15467495
BASED and fucking shard-pilled

>>15467722
Your country is a third world pile of shit.

>>15467914
Why are you gross mutts obsessed with interracial sex?

>>15468835
God doesn't exist. Grow up.

I use a either a card bottle opener or an Estwing Sportsman.

>>15467859
This.

>>15467914
Europeans have healthcare, whiteness, lower crime rates, less junkies, more history, less homeless, etc. We're better than you in every single way, all backed by actual statistics, you third world obese faggot

>>15473814
You also have more peaceful trucks running over scores of pedestrians and diversification bombs erupting in stadiums and public transit. :^)

>>15468052
You can't even defeat Assad with your mutt troops plus the jihadists you funded, fattie, you can't do shit to Evropa, fat vermin.

llllladies *wiggles eyebrows seductively*

>>15473849
Cheesy reddit-tier post
I bet you're a woman

>>15473860
a swing and a miss *kisses you smoothly*

Ok son.

>>15473814
Also more money, better infrastructure, non-rundown cities, better transportation, we don't suck Israeli cock, edible food, actual culture (i.e. not worshipping trannies and drug-dealing thugs) and not being a nation of schizos.

>>15467495
lame.
these are a very shitty and blatant ripoff of Peter Atwood’s pocket tools such as the Prybaby etc

>>15467473
this is true.
i pretty much only open my beers with anything but an opener. usually a machete for the theatrics

Any homo can use teeth, lighters, tables, keys etc to open a beer. The real question is how the fuck do you open a corked bottle of wine without a wine opener?

Also
>Ladies
>imblying there are women on this board

>>15474120
Sabre.

And there are some, I've met one or two.

>>15474120
you can use a fork, just bend one of the tines, stab it in, and use the leverage to rip it out

also imagine using a bottle opener and not a lighter

I was staying in a hotel and broke part of the rooms counter opening a beer on one. Didn't want to risk more (or teeth) so I bought a $2 one

>>15474120
push the cork in with something

>>15474120
Hammer and nail but it takes some focus

>>15473814
>Europeans have whiteness

>>15473402
It is now.

>>15474120
Lighter. Heat up neck where cork is. It pops out.

>>15472751
this is true
i've opened beer bottles with a chef's knife, and it's way easier than a lighter, and less risk of it exploding
i could probably open one with a house key, but i have a churchkey on the same chain, so it's kind of pointless

>>15469113
Too ez

>>15467473
fucking alkies do meth like a real man

>>15474120
A woman can still have a benis

>>15467473
> Not having the electrical switchboard key/ bottle opener.

>>15474355
And the wine is ruined

>>15471838
Is that hexagonal bowl supposed to be a pipe? Pic semi related: /out/ tier autism

>>15475485
>And the wine is ruined
If you're without a proper opener, then odds are the wine isn't that special to begin with so nothing lost.

>>15475553
pry bar at the bottom of the knife's handle is a great idea

>>15467473
New fags don't know about the seat belt buckle bottle opener.
ngmi

>>15474120
Just saw some clickbait on this very topic. Apparently you can slam it against a tree and the kinetic energy will make the cork lift after a few slaps.
-t wine drinker. pic related.

>>15467570
Name 499

>>15472973
You gave me a laugh. That's good enough in my books.

>>15467495
This is based

>>15467473
Also

>>15473822
All part and parcel, chap!

>>15467473
I got mine free from my supermarket and its blue !

>>15477294

>>15467473
>>15474120
britbongs need not apply

>>15475654
>Sure thing boss, let me finish my lunch and I'll get right to work opening that crate

Ladies, if your boyfriend doesn't open up bottles with his foreskin, you don't have a boyfriend - you have a girlfriend.