/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15335067
>I don't want to make a fool out of myself if I do this around other people
They already know

>>15335067
Co2 opener. I thought they were a boomer meme for wine party shit but I imagine they would actually work really well for this purpose.

>>15335067
Store the bottles on their side so that the wine keeps the cork hydrated.

>>15335067
>wine
you better be a girl

>>15335067
Get an ah-so and learn how to use it properly. Practice in private until you get the hang of it, shouldn't take long. Deals with rotten corks easily and makes you look like a fancy-schmancy wine snob too.

>>15335076
t.American

>>15335067
store bottles on their side

>>15335093
you'll never be a woman

>>15335075
>>15335098
Don't listen to these retards, your corks will still be dry and crumbly
For the authentic experience store your wine bottles cork down preferably in direct sunlight, the sunlight will encourage the flavor of the wine to mature and will make the corks easy to remove in one go

Just buy boxed wines. We know from studies that even someliers are not able to tell chep wine apart from expensive wine when presented with unlabeled samples in a blind test seting.

>>15335124
>Just buy wine infused with plastic
Just fucking kys, plastic bitch

>>15335118
You actually want to keep the wine (still in bottle) inside a large, empty, barrel. The cork will be drawn to the sides of the barrel, and the wine itself will obtain an earthy, robust texture and taste. Never keep more than one bottle inside the barrel at at time, as this may demagnitize the corks and sour the flavour.

>>15335124
>Boxed wines
literally only used for shit tier wine for alcoholics, ignore this clown

drink a real man's alcohol if you're going to be a degenerate, or have some self control and abstain from the liquid jew all together.

>>15335087
This, it's literally the tool you're supposed to use for old crumbly corks. Everyone else is an uneducated memer.

Screw top or bust. Keeps better and easier to use.

Can't you just do the bottle-in-shoe trick?

>>15335140
>>15335118
poop in the wine and use your poopy butthole pull the cork

>>15335181
>storing corked wine vertically
do retards really?

>>15335234
I feel like the odds are that they didn't store the wine for 10 years sitting on a white table ready for photography. You fucking ponce.

>>15335234
Yeah wine cellars aren't a thing retard.

>>15335076
>being this uncultured

>>15335181
Screw tops are an australian innovation created due to cork being unavailable. It might be a meme to some but there is real technology there that an entire nations wine production depends on.

>>15335067
Push it in, decant, and strain. This is what restaurants do. Decanting also has the added benefit of aerating wine.

>>15335303
I don't consider it a meme. The screw top is the superior seal. Cork snobs can go blow themselves.

>>15335076
>you better be a girl
>>15335300
>>being this uncultured

It is weird how in america if you drink wine you are either a girl or you are cultured. As an euro this is really weird because drinking wine is just as normal as drinking beer and it doesn't make you a girl or a cultured snob. It is just normal

>>15335382
>euro
>normal
I audibly laughed out loud

>>15335382
It’s not “in America” it’s some kinda weird meme from upper Midwest states or some shit.

>>15335076
Based

>>15335404
Wine haters are all 20-35 year old males who are proto-alcoholics or exclusive binge drinkers chugging as much natty daddy or cheap wells as quickly as they can.

>>15335415
I cant drink wine because of the sulphates. Idk if I'm allergic or what but every time I drink it I end up with a massive hangover.

>>15335276
you expect me to give them the benefit of the doubt when it's stored in completely transparent bottles as well? It's not like I can reverse search the image to see the methodology.

>>15335401
Yeah, and I just sharted straight onto your face. How did you like that? What is your next move, you nigger bitch?

>>15335404
>It’s not “in America”
I'm not entirely convinced to be honest

I'm Norwegian so it is strange to me how even a backwater country like mine is more accustomed to wine as a huge ass country as USA.

>>15335431
Drink less?

>>15335382
Is social drinking a thing in america? Not judging, but I want to actually know if americans understand the concept of having a few drinks to get buzzed then heading home

>>15335356
As long as you remember to tighten every couple of years. It's vital

>>15335431
There's a difference between "can't drink it" and "refuse to drink it because my bros will think i'm gay so it's shit and you're a fag".

>>15335438
>Is social drinking a thing in america?
I'm Norwegian so I wouldn't know. In Norway you get shitfaced drunk in social gatherings from 16-28 years old +/-2 years. After that social drinking is more the norm when you get buzzed over a dinner with your friends and then head home. Shit faced drunkenness still happen after 28 years old though, but it is less common and it is with closer and closer friends. In south Europa I think it is more common to have only one beer or a glass of wine in the weekdays with your friends even as a youth

>>15335438
No, americans exclusively binge drink so that they can build up the resolve to stumble home to beat their wives while beating every unarmed black man they see on the street to death.

This is Trump's America.

>>15335435
Fuck u

>>15335435
>more accustomed
My family and friends have been making homemade port in America for over 100 years. I think the part you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around is that the United States is less like a country and more like the EU. There’s 330 million some odd people all with different cultural backgrounds and 50 unique states each with their own inherent culture and some of those states like NY, California, and Texas they have their own unique sub cultures and barely get along with each other inside their state. It’s kind of a mindfuck when I think about it but I’ve traveled around this country a lot and I can assure you it’s true

>>15335466
I'd say in the US its similar but starts for most at 18-20

>>15335087
>>15335172
Only the finest of vinos will know. Sadly I don't think I've seen anyone EVER use ah-so corkscrew opener.

>>15335479
>I think the part you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around is that the United States is less like a country and more like the EU
I think you are right. It's not easy to grasp as an outsider because you are not like the EU, but still you are not like a single country

>>15335067
You need your corkscrew to penetrate completely before trying to take out the cork.
>line up dead center of cork
>penetrate deep
>slowly begin to pull out
it'll come

>>15335067
Cucks and cowards. You DO have a spare saber to open bottles with, I hop?

Oh my goodness this thread is so fucking gay

>>15335544
And now you have a million shards of glass in your bottle so what's the fucking point?

>>15335542
>>penetrate deep
>>slowly begin to pull out
>it'll come

Hehe

>>15335556
entire point s that it's clean cut, anon. it doesn't fragment.

>>15335300
kek. thanks for the laugh anon

>>15335093
Costal Americans drink wine. Wine is delicious. It's just the flyovers, point and laugh.

>>15336112
>costal
>doesn’t even know that Missouri is the oldest established viticulture region in the US outside of Jefferson’s failed experiments in Virginia
>doesn’t recognize the many types of fruit wines made throughout the Southeast
Get knowledge

>>15335516
Yep, these are the best for getting corks out of bottles without shredding the cork. If you are careful you can reverse the process and re-cork the bottle to help save the contents.

>>15335124
>we know from studies that great wine and shit wine is the same
Such an embarrassing cope from winelets.

>>15335148
If you're drinking wine you're already an alcoholic, it doesn't make a difference that you're in denial.

>>15336318
t. Underageb&

>>15336325
Wino cope.

>open a 2003 for christmas
>cork is perfect, no seepage
>wine is great, gets even better as the evening progresses
wine is truly the thinking man's hobby, ultimate delayed gratification

>>15335404
I've lived in the midwest my whole life and I've literally never heard of this anti-wine meme, that guy is just a fag.

>>15336329
Underage cringe.

>>15336581
You've never left your basement so how could you.

>>15336581
Been in Ohio and Michigan my whole life and can confirm that around here wine is for women and pretentious fags.