/ck/ - Food & Cooking

what the fuck am I looking at

>>15284546
>https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9087463/Christmas-Dinner-ruined-families-discovered-turkeys-GONE-OFF.html
A load of people in the UK got rotten turkeys from Lidl, Tesco and Sainsbury's

>>15284546
some sort of paltry

>>15284562
jesus fucking christ

quintessentially english

>>15284532
im dusgsted

England truly is God's forsaken land.

FUCKING STUPID BONGS LMAO

>>15284562
What a stupid title those events are unrelated

>nooo not the heckin turkey not the freaking traditional holiday birdie

Kys eternal anglo scum

Lmao, how’s that Brexit working out for you?

>>15284532
Darn, he got tesco'd!

NO TURKEY?!

>>15284677
Just wait until they send Tesco a sternly worded letter

>>15284646
anything to get you to fear the notherburger chinkflu

>>15284693
It will all be over

>>15284646
They are related. they both happened to the same lady.

>>15284689
You fucking idiot Jeremy, you total fucking idiot, that was your job you fucking moron, you cretin, you’re a fuckhead, that’s what you are, a fucking shithead!

>>15284532
>>15284562
Do yuros really eat rotten turkeys? Jesus christ how horrifying

>>15284532
>2020
>not living in America the greatest country on earth

imagine the SMELL

>buying your bird from a discounter
>complain about the quality

Vile County vile people it's only fitting they eat vile rancid food

>>15284532
I hate british "people" so much bros

>>15284595
>sneed

>>15284562
>>15284554
>Dec 26

I bet they have it sitting in the fridge for 10 days.

>>15284755
>>15284767
Okay mac

>>15284767
You seem to be the racist, as is very common with your types. I simply don't give a shit about your fucking nations and don't want to visit them.
If you want to call me racist for disagreeing with you then you must have been shillary supporters since that's the best that they can do.
Are you still seething in your closets because Trump beat your annointed one?

>>15284907
huh?

>>15284907
Learn English before you try to argue, ESL vato-kun

Is weatherspoons open for Brits to get some dinner?

>>15285048
Sorry m8 ol BJ put em on locky wocky so no diddles for christmas this year
Sad innit

>>15285076
Just have to dip into the advent calendar

It... it’s meant to look like this, right bros?

>>15285191
It's k, it's just a fruitcake turkey.

>>15285191
Yeah, that’s how turkey is meant to look. At least we’re not like the yanks with their chlorinated chicken, haha

Do they really not have freezers in the UK????

>>15284532
europoors have the GALL to talk shit about american health and safety standards? suck my dick

>>15285416
We don’t need to freeze our meat because we have better farming practices than America.

jokes on those retarded poors for buying their christmas bird at a supermarket over a real butcher

>>15284532
Nope. Not in the slightest. Everything was in stock, everything was good quality. Had a very traditional board of fate with roast beef, roast goose, ham and the traditional sides this day and very nice it was too.

>>15285429
Looks like that paid off well for OP, ya dumb bongaloid.

>>15285434
I'm poor and I still got my bird from a proper butcher. I can understand just buying some Birdseye chicken breasts from Tescos, but proper meat should be bought from a butcher, you just can't trust supermarkets.

a little bleach wash would have prevented all of this

>>15285466
amen

>>15284532
Turkey is a North American food. Bongs have no idea and should be required to stuck to chickens, ducks and geese. And mutton. A big rubbery slab of boiled mutton for you on Christmas. No turkey for you, losers.

So will this be the standard quality of meat now that Brexit is official?

>>15285495
goose is an infinitely better bird than turkey so thank you

>>15285505
words of truth

>>15285500
Yes especially before veganuary

>>15285505
I don't disagree. I have had both and very much enjoyed the roast goose I ate. Locally raised, skillfully butchered and roasted to a delicious perfection.

So stick to what you know, particularly now that you've gotten your malformed Brexit and imported meats are about to become very scarce and expensive. You'll be paying 10 pounds for a tin of sardines before long.

Why do British people eat turkey for Christmas? Didn't they just have it for Thanksgiving?

>>15285541
A Christmas bird is traditional and at one time much less expensive than a cut of roast beef or mutton. So some choose a turkey today.

>>15284532
Serves them right for eating that bland shitty bird from the Colonies instead of duck or goose.

>>15284554
>buying meat from lidl/tesco
enjoy vCJD

>>15285541
Do brits celebrate thanksgiving? I thought it was more of a north american thing

>>15285559
>aldi

the germans once again the enemy of the bong

i've never purchased rotten meat in my life
how does this happen?

>>15284646
Adding more bad news to a shitty Christmas you fucking autistic cunt

do
yuros
really

>>15285577
No, it's an American thing. Most in the UK would only eat a whole turkey at Christmas, the rest would be sliced turkey in sandwiches.
>>15285586
Supermarket whole chickens and turkeys are usually covered in colourful plastic so you can't actually see the meat until you open it.

>>15285425
>europoors
>lives in a trailer in Dogdick, USA

>>15285696
the trailer in Dogdick has a yard that you don't have to pay the council to access

>>15285696

>>15285429
Yeah it shows

>>15284532
This was the year before last? Yes, the turkey stunk and was rotten, threw it and had chicken breaded wrapped in bacon.

>>15285717
Ah fuck it happened again this year? No, lesson learned, bought a turkey last week and put it in the freezer, took it out Christmas Eve morning. Not getting fucked by the rotten turkey juju again.

>>15284755
>>15284669
>>15284595
>>15284637
Why do anglos cause subhuman mutts to seethe so much?

>>15284532
Well at least the birds weren't washed with bleach.

>>15285709
Lol we don’t keep any English people in places like that.

>not having roast beef on xmas

ishygddt

>>15284646
Nope, its very clearly related to a very shitty 24 hours

>>15285731
It's the result of years and years of the Bongs claiming unwarranted superiority. Now that the truth leaks out, what with a failed Brexit, failure with regard to Covid, failure with regard to immigration policy, and so forth, the Yanks are finally watching the snooty twats begin to fall flat on their faces.

Act like you are better than everyone else, and everyone will cheer when you step in dogshit. It has always been so.

>>15285749
Neither are our birds. The only fowl in North America that receive this treatment are destined for fast food restaurants and grocery store processed food products. Buy a whole bird from a decent butcher and you'll get the honest product, unadulterated, unsoiled and above all, unspoiled.

>>15285868
All I read is seethe, what shithole do you inhabit to that causes so much seethe

>>15285844
This, imagine on the most special day of the year, you choose the most basic and accessible bird you can. I get that you're poor, but come on, live a little.

>>15285759
true that

>>15285915
All I read in your post is cope. And i don't care where you live. It matters not a whit to me, and neither do you.

>>15284532
>>15284554
Serves these idiots right for not fucking brining it days prior.

Why are they roasting turkeys? Should be a goose.

>>15285868
>the Bongs claiming unwarranted superiority
I don't think we've ever done that though?

>>15285442
Sounds like you copied that out of a Dicken's book.

>>15286017
Look back over the last 300 years and you might find a teeny bit of evidence to support my contention.

>>15286081
Impossible. it's "Board of Fare" not Board of fate"

>>15284689

You laugh but its not really funny if it happens to you. This christmas was probably the last time I will ever be able to enjoy a Turkey dinner with my father because his religious sect is banning poultry meat in the new year. Me and my mother went out for fucking hours looking for a suitable, big Turkey so he could enjoy the meat one last time. Eventually settled on one from Lidl, which expires on the 27th according to the packaging. My mother spent so much time touching the fucking cold turkeys that her arthritis has been playing up all week. She couldn't open her fucking presents without me helping her, so they are still sitting unwrapped in the main room and she might never get to open them because I have to take all the christmas stuff to the loft tomorrow and she won't be able to climb up and get them when I go home. It was all for fucking nought. we opened up that Turkey this morning. it was fucking slimey and green, fucking disgusting and impossible for us to cook. we had no other meat in the entire fucking house other than in sausage rolls so we spent an hour fucking opening up sausage rolls, scraping the meat into a bowl and we microwaved it and that was our christmas meat. My dad was so fucking let down. Did I mention he is fucking 78? He said it was the worst Christmas dinner he ever had and he spent 4 successive Christmases working in the coal mines where the only food they had was fucking pork pies consumed beneath a fucking christmas tree too big for the mineshaft. You fucking pricks need to think about others.

>>15286223
>his religious sect is banning poultry meat in the new year

That's on your father then. It's very unfortunate when people feel the need to submit to arbitrary rules based on magical thinking.

no because I'm not a council flat living subhuman and went to a butcher

>>15286223
Based.

>>15286223
>we had no other meat in the entire fucking house other than in sausage rolls so we spent an hour fucking opening up sausage rolls, scraping the meat into a bowl and we microwaved it and that was our christmas meat.
just eat the sausage rolls normally or don't have meat at all

>>15284741
yes, its totally normal for them to eat rotten turkey, thats why theres an outcry about turkey being rotten.
you are aware that by pretending to be retarded to make a point, you only make your point unbelievable and still seem like a retard,

>>15284737
That wasn't very Christmassy.

>>15286223
Unfortunate, but all old people are supposed to be dead from coof by now as God intended.

>>15286017
Oh, c'mon now, even you know that's not true. They started to tone it down after the last vestige of their empire, India, the Jewel in the Crown, was ripped from their shriveled, grasping hands in '48. But among the knuckledragging Tories you can still see vestiges of it.

>>15285090
Is that a pie a day advent calendar? Do bongs really?

>>15286317
Yes.

Put the words ‘rotten’ and ‘turkey’ into the Twitter search bar to see the unholy reality that is daily bong life

>>15284532
This is what I look like after a night of getting my bussy pozzed by the lads

>>15284562
Just run infront of traffic at that point

>>15286393
You couldnt tame your fucking faggotry for the lord's birthday?

>>15284554
This is why I used a bird I raised and slaughtered and butchered myself.
Salt cured was delicious. Now I'm stewing the carcass.

>>15286223
What the fuck cult is your dad in?

>>15286413

>>15286507
If they really trusted in God, they wouldn't be looking at the snake in such an ardent manner.

>>15285400
Nah bro.
Nah.

>>15285876
Any fowl that is water chilled is likely chilled in chlorinated water. Im just poking fun at brits because even in parliament the green party and labour party say that the uk shouldnt allow us chickens sold because of chlorine in the chicken.

>>15284744
>2020
>still thinking America is the greatest country on,earth

>>15286507
guy on the right is missing an arm

>>15286730
That may well be so. However, if you have a decent butcher, you can buy birds who have not had such swimming lessons. The turkey we had Christmas eve, and today again and likely will have in various ways for the weeks to come, came from such a butcher. It was killed, plucked, dressed and then air chilled, as opposed to being dunked in the pool.

Mass produced food, with exceptions is never as good as food items grown or made by individual small businesses.

>>15286773
That's where the snake got him last time they tried this nonsense.

>>15286777
trips
of
truth

>>15286270
Hello Poe, meet Law

>>15285213
Underrated.

>>15284532
It's rotten you fucking idiots!

IT'S ROTTEN!

>>15286270
He's only acting. You're the real deal.

>>15284532
Anglos just got their right to laugh at American food revoked.

>>15286775
No argument here. Water chilled fowl usually have much soggier skin which is the main problem i have with water chilled.

>>15286331
Sus

>>15284532
brits be like
>you Yanks dun know quality food bruv

>>15284532
who the fuck gets a turkey for christmas?

>>15284532
Not long ago people let their meat to rot a little to improve flavour

>>15284532
I swear 90% of these will be people overfilling their shitty fridges, while simultaneously incapable of setting the temperature correctly. Too often I go to people's houses, put beer in the fridge to find it's clearly about 8-10°c and rammed to the point there's no air culation to be had at all. I'm not surprised most people are paranoid about meat going off on the best before date, they can't comprehend looking after food, they think the fridge magically protects it till the packet says chuck it out.

theres just something about laughing at brits thats so funny. why are they so fucking weird and cucked?

>>15287324
Even the larger British fridges I've seen online, are about the size of what we in North America would consider a good bar fridge. No ability to store foods for any length of time, no chest freezers for long term storage of meats. Keeps everyone rushing off to do the daily shopping, completely reliant on the supermarket chains. .

only way to eat turkey is brined 48 hours in apple juice and salt, then smoked

>buying their Christmas turkey dinner at Aldi

Who gives a fuck what happens to poor people?

I don't get why they're upset. It isn't like rotting meat can make British cooking taste any worse.

>>15284532
Brings an entirely new meaning to the phrase "Blue Christmas".

>>15286228
Based and enlightened pilled

>>15286407
imagine harming an innocent animal so you can freeze and cook its "carcass" and post pictures of that on an anime imageboard

>>15284532

Jesus
Didn't any if the people grow up destitute, I grew up with druggie parents, food stamps were sold for drugs.
I used to eat garbage and dumpster harvested/scavenged food my whole childhood.
Trim off the (really) bad parts, season the hell out of it and cook it to well done.
No worse than any of the meat eaten from any the Paki take-away places that litter South London.
Trim, season, cook, enjoy.
An alcohol rinse can also help, both the meat and the cook.

>>15287540
Imagine whining as much as you do. Imagine it. Just imagine.

>>15287597
Forgot to add, my sister used to call soggy-moldy meat "Wet Aged".

>>15287540
I didn't harm him, I killed him.

>>15284562
why couldn't people have just worn the mask

>>15287754
There is a notable difference between harming and killing. That's a well known fact that should be taken into account at all times.

>>15286223
Boo hoo faggot

>>15284562
Rotten turkey, brother on his way to the same state. Good god 2020 is beginning to suck just a little bit don't you tink?

>>15287597
wew lad, if not a larp then I feel for ya man. Hope you're in a better place this Christmas than when you grew up

>>15286223
>cash your chips on a frozen turkey from the nearest poorfag store
nothing could go wrong

>>15285400
looks like it has morgellons

>>15286223
The fact that nobody realizes this is satirical shows the decline of the internet as a whole

>>15284554
hey, at least some bong faced mecca and prayed to allah before they were killed, that's all that matters

>>15285191
Yeah that's normal when all the guys working at the plant came over on a boat from Eritrea. Try to be more culturally sensitive

>>15285425
>american health and safety standards
those even exist, you fucking amerishart?

>>15285868
And yet here you are, speaking English.

>>15284741
>uk
>euros

>>15284532
Heh
>>15284562
Heh heh
>>15285400
Ha
>>15285559
Haha
>>15286223
WE'VE GOT A LIVE ONE HERE! HOOHAHAHAHA

>>15284554
Heh, good thing I bought from Aldi.

>>15285868
>unwarranted
Is it really though?

>>15284532
I don't want to get /pol/ with it, but this is what happens when you get rid of oversight from the strictest food quality inspectors in the world for votes for your dumbass fucking party by appeasing mongoloid retards.

>>15287324
>all of that uncovered exposed to air foodstuffs
what in the actual sweet fuck tit

>>15284637
>HA, DEAD BIRD IS ROTTEN, THAT MEAN YOU ARE STUPID

>>15284673
Got a trading deal no worse than when we were in the union, hows communism going?

>>15285759
London?

>>15284546
A 30 year old gal thats finally ready to settle down.

>>15287540
So a man raised his own fowl, presumably treated them well to make sure the best quality meat was provided, slaughtered them quickly to avoid gamey taste, and will, not only feed his family for days to come, but also use the birds in its entirety to get the most cost effectiveness out of it through using the bones for stock.
...and this is considered cruel because he likes to show it off on a vietnamese rattlesnake milking board? I think you need new battles to fight anon, and allow people who raise their own animals to be left alone.

People should really learn to cjeck their food before putting it in the kart. I bet they get flabbergasted when half their eggs are crushed in the carton too

>>15285090
That would be a very expensive advent calendar. Probably in the £50-£70 range.

>>15286882
>Anglos just got their right to laugh at Anglo food revoked.
wat

>>15286223
what else did all those men manage to cram in despite it being "too big for the mineshaft"?

>>15287793
99.9% of them did
but 0.01% of them didn't and therefore the 99.9% have to pay the price because uhhhhhh WEAR THE MASK COVID COVID WEAR THE MASK IT'S TIER 36624 LOCKDOWN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (also you're out of work)

>>15284554
Brexit means brexit

>>15284532
What did these limey fucks ever expect when they voted for Brexit? Anglos are vile creatures who only deserve garbage food, Europe was the only thing keeping England tied to modernity, now, without colonies and power, they will return to their savage state and the European and American companies are free to rape the remaining anglos with their trash produce they cant sell anywhere.

>>15284532
When are anglo cucks going to vote to enter the EU again? You anglos are such utter imbeciles its not even funny.

>>15288771

Will never wear a mask

Will never social distance

Covid is fake

>>15288818
>>15284697
get out of here /pol/tard

>>15288373
Don't worry, he's clearly a giant faggot.
Maybe he can grow his own soy and turn it into a cruelty free tofurky.
Though idk how cruelty free it will be considering when I grew soy I didn't even eat any of it because voles ate all the beans. I let them because
A: I don't wanna kill anything I'm not going to eat
B: I don't like soy
C: I had better crops that the voles were leaving alone.

>>15284554
>greentexting a link

>>15286223
good post

>>15288818
>Will never social distance
you sure?

>>15286223
Kek

>>15288806
you have been seething all thread you shit skinned subhuman, give it a break.

>>15285090
Why do all brits look like oversized Down syndrome children?

>>15285559
>nan has been sat
>nan
>has been sat
>2 kg turkey
I hate br*ts so goddamn much bros

>>15289108
Because they are.

They are island people who worship pure bloodlines.

Turkey is god awful. Dry and no taste meat

Imagine being poor and buying supermarket turkey. Disgusting.

>>15289427
imagine being a bong

>>15285586
Luck of the draw. You shop every week, for an entire lifetime. Statistically, the odd bar of moldy cheese or off chicken is going to slip thru. You just take it back and get a refund.

>>15288141
When in fact it was you who is the autist.

>>15287950
Thank god you were here to let us know. Now I'm very embarrassed about my 100% serious response.

>>15288818
I've been social distancing for years already.

>>15290065
>implying autocorrects to unhinged

>>15286223
>scraping the meat into a bowl and we microwaved it
Y-you couldnt at least pop it in the oven? wtf
>He said it was the worst Christmas dinner he ever had and he spent 4 successive Christmases working in the coal mines where the only food they had was fucking pork pies consumed beneath a fucking christmas tree too big for the mineshaft.
what a melodramatic faggot

>>15288818
simple as

>>15287540
imagine being a faggot

>>15288818
You've obviously been social distancing since the day you found out no girl would dance with you at the school prom.

>>15287540
imagine? you don't have to, this kind self sufficient anon did it for real! check the post out friend!

>>15286223
excellent post

>>15286270
The outcry is due to the fact the turkeys haven't reached the requisite level of putrifaction. Bongs need their raw meat to have the consistency of pudding, or they'll have trouble chewing it with their fucked up teeth after it's cooked.

>>15287361
we have chest freezers wtf are you smoking

>>15284532
I bet most of these cases were just poor refrigeration from the customer.

>>15285191
It's normal. The pigment from the feathers can bleed into the skin, it doesn't affect the taste. Raw turkey also does have a somewhat funky smell too, but you'd know if it was off, since it would have a really unpleasant smell, like rotten eggs.

>>15291328
what's with white ppl and refrigeration? just put some spices and eat that shit.

>>15287950
ur an idiot

>>15286773
wtf

>>15290788
Only fags go to proms. That's the faggiest shit ever.

>>15284562
>>15284532
Ah yes, the superior English poultry

Meanwhile the rest of Europe has neither mold nor antibiotics nor hormones in their poultry. Fucking losers.

>>15284741
>Island monkeys
>Europe

Pick one and only one

Also turkey is wildly unpopular outside the anglosphere. Because it's shit. Civilized people eat chicken or duck. Maybe goose or quail.

>>15286223
>implies putting the Christmas decorations away means he has to shove his moms unwrapped presents in the attic instead of just opening them for her
My fucking sides holy shit

>>15285580
As a Hans, this is the one thing we got fucking right.

>>15286773
He didn't love God enough so the snake got him
Fucking pentecostals

>>15286406
Ironically this ended up being the gayest post itt

Keep sucking the dick of a Syrian Jew

>>15288339
Swedes and Norwegians actually have dental care. Hard to imagine for you, but it's quite useful.

>>15288799
>>15288806
Based af

How will anglos ever recover?

>>15286223
>>15284562
Why did the these guys buy birds that are going to go bad THE DAY AFTER they want to use it?

>>15286228
Gott agree with this anon here.

>>15286270

>>15292117
Use by dates are usually very conservative.

>>15289305
turkey is all about the gravy. if you can't just do something easier.

>>15284737
Based

>>15286317
Only boomers eat those scummy pies. Fucking disgusting, they use the lowest quality meat you can imagine.

>>15284532
i dont see the problem? just a lil green like just cut it off lmao

>>15286223
>his religious sect
Piss off you jodacky cunt. You aren't, nor ever will be, English.

>>15284532
Probably would taste like the average bong food. What Is the problem?

>>15286223
LOSER!

And for New Year's eve, the traditional Blue Waffle feast.

>>15288829
seething

>>15284637
>>15284595
>>15284578
Americans were trained to like the taste of vomit because Herseys was made with spoilt milk. You idiots have nothing to be proud of.

Bong here. Got my food from Morrisons. No issues.

>>15292093
>>15292093

statistically british have the healthiest teeth you dumb ameriblart.

whats it like having the same dental health as the polish?

hell even poland is handling the koronavirus better than you dumb fucks and you guys get SHAFTED on your healthcare hahahahahaha

AND U NIGGAS PUT SUGAR AND CORN SYRUP IN BREAD AND EVERY THING HAHAHAHAZHHFSHFHAHAHADSFSFS

>>15292117

If you order it online, they'll grab the most recent ones and a lot of places have turkeys that arrive sooner than the 18-19th but are air sealed until the 20th-21st when they can be cut open and put on shelves

>>15286223
The absolute state of Bongs

>>15293388
>Projecting this hard

I'm from a civilized country, not an anglo shithole. Making fun of mutts (you included) is the local pastime

>>15285090
absolutely choice

>>15285559
26th Dec again, must be all from the same farm. My Aldi crown has been great but it has 29th on it.

>>15293457
>I'm from a civilized country, not an anglo shithole.
choose one

>>15284646
Hey look, it's a sociopath

>>15285416
They don’t even have central heating/AC

people dont age their turkeys?
its prime turkey bros, just eat it

>>15286009
Britain just tries to copy everything American now. Their soccer league is still doing the kneel for black people thing even though there are no police killings in UK and American sports stopped doing it months ago.

>>15284532
>buying shit from the supermarket
>not from trusted sources like a butcher you know
Fucking never will make it.

>>15287230
Curing is different from rotting. It’s all about the type of cultures you get on there. I’m guessing modern processing methods make different bacteria flourish than the kind you’d get if you just butchered a bird by hand and hanged it out to dry for a few days.

>>15288161
Yeah we have some of the best in the world. Lower rates of food borne illness than yurop

>>15293735
lmao the fucking myth.

>>15286223
>so we spent an hour fucking opening up sausage rolls, scraping the meat into a bowl and we microwaved it and that was our christmas meat.
Kino

>>15293904
You get what you deserve. That's the only read I got from that wall of text.

>>15287597
This nigga ate garbage lmao

>>15293266
>seething
is literally what youre doing right now

>>15285709
they had the comfiest threads at /pol/ back then. Everbody just coming together and laughed at roasted pakis

>>15286223
But it's not happening to me, so it is funny