/ck/ - Food & Cooking

But you could win an action-packed trip to Detroit.

>>15163028
For me, it's the suspiciously shelf-stable vending machine bacon cheeseburger.

>>15163028

no, it isn't. it's not anywhere close to as good as mcdonalds, which is much better than the burgers most people are capable of making.

>>15163028
It's garbage.
That said, I had one recently and they'd actually changed the cooking instructions to microwave the burger and toast the bun separately (which is what anyone sane did anyway).
It's still shit, but a big improvement on the soggy mess when it all goes in the microwave at once.

>>15163145
insecure teen not willing to try actual food? even a child could make a better tasting & cheaper burger

>>15163028
why the fuck do you need a premade burger. most people can buy their own ground beef and hamburger buns and make their own i thought

>>15163028
enjoy you ass cancer

>>15163172
Because it takes 90 seconds to prepare.

>>15163177
it literally takes 10 minutes to cook a burger. what are you doing that is so important

>>15163179
but u gotta touchi raw meat :(

>>15163172
>>15163179
People are willing to eat absolute trash if it's quicker and easier. This is a well known fact around the world.

>>15163175
Kek

>>15163179
Nothing, usually, so I don't eat the shit things.
I'm just telling you why people buy them.

>>15163169

no, they sure couldn't, you jackass.

any old slop you shit together isn't better. mcdonalds has literal teams of scientists who understand hamburgers at the chemical and molecular level, producing burgers on machines specially fabricated for producing hamburgers, by people that make 1000 hamburgers a day, five days a week. i'd be surprised if you made 1000 hamburgers in your entire life.

the quality of mcdonalds ingredients is average. it's neither bad nor great. but the theory and planning and execution is perfection, unless a black person makes it.

i would easily wager you've NEVER made a hamburger better than a mcdonalds hamburger; you'd not only have to use better ingredients (fresh ground sirloin with bacon fat, bare minimum) but you'd have to have mastered prep and ingredient combination.

i'm someone who can do that. and i'm sick of seeing jackasses on ck who think they can do better than mcdonalds, because they haven't put in the effort to do better, and they're not better. m

>>15163193
You put in a lot of effort for replying to one of those brainless board tourist "hurr, why doesn't /ck/ cook?" faggots.

>>15163193
>i would easily wager you've NEVER made a hamburger better than a mcdonalds hamburger
who the fuck is this retard. literally anything from the store is better

>>15163193
burgers are easy to make. you are out of your mind

an autistic breakdown cuz someone insulted his fav childhood vomit

>>15163193
>producing burgers on machines specially fabricated for producing hamburgers, by people that make 1000 hamburgers a day, five days a week.
So which one is it ? You cant even write a whole sentence without contradicting yourself.

>>15163256

nope, you are proving that you can't actually judge quality of ingredients. and also that you're unaware of the aspects of cooking that are paramount for the final experience - temperatures, humidities, saline, textural ergonomics. you don't know anything about all that, and that's why your burgers will NEVER be as good as mcdonalds.

>>15163269

burgers are easy to make, but hard to master, your burgers are complete jokes compared to a masterful burger, or at least a professional or service grade burger from people whose job is to make them.

the thickness of a patty, or the fat content, being off by 2mm or 2 percent fat or being ground just a little too much or too little or cooked just a little too long or not long enough - and suddenly you have a very sub-par hamburger and you might as well go to mcdonalds.

it's fine to make your own burgers but don't kid yourselves. unless you're very intelligent or experienced and have put some real thought and introspection into the 'nature' of a burger and what it's ideals are, your burgers are very much below average, and mcdonalds knows more about a burger than you.

>>15163297
holy hell, i almost thought he was trolling. this kid needs help. people working at mcdonalds are anything but masters. christ

shoot that stoner
all they care bout is saving money and making u addicted. flavor doesn't matter as long as it's full of crack. if a hamburger patty is off by 2mm it's veggie all of a sudden

>>15163308

people working at mcdonalds are beneficiaries of greater minds than theirs. they have access to a purpose made supply chain, courtesy of literally the greatest global burger emperium.

the individual tardling at mcdonalds is not a master, no. but the people who are at the top of the mcdonalds technological division have created a restaurant system that ensures they have the tools, the ingredients, and the instructions, to provide a repeatably good burger. all they have to do is follow the instructions. everything else is controlled, regulated, standardized, metered, measured, and matriculated.

it's like an army. is each individual soldier good at fighting? absolutely not. they're the scum of society. but, in the system they're trained and controlled in, they are a powerful fighting force. that's what mcdonalds is. the worlds most elite hamburger army.

>>15163325

mcdonalds doesn't become mcdonalds by making bad hamburgers. they know more about hamburgers than anyone else. of course they're addictive. they're good. anything good is addictive. that is proof positive they understand the golden hamburger formula.

i wonder if you're a nigger?

>>15163028
>>15163169
You may be able to make an equal or superior burger than McDonald's, but you'll never be able to emulate McDonald's. Their burgers have a unique taste and that's why they're still around.

>>15163340
you need help dude. seriously

>>15163120
haha le detroit rustlers meme, it only gets funnier every hundred times I hear it!

>>15163341
does being unique give anything the right to exist? mutts just too obsessed with brands, coke is mad shit aswell compared to legit cola
outta here shills

>>15163367
>my sugar drink is better than your sugar drink
wow, impressive

>>15163372
not even my sugar drink
every other cola brand > coke, pepsi, no name

>>15163350

help? i think i'm handling the education of the ignorant in this thread quite well.

>>15163341

superior? very difficult. most people get the density of the meat wrong. i've experimented with grinding some meat with the wide holes on the grinder, and some with the small holes, and then blending them in different proportions, but i think that the fat needs to be processed in some particular fashion to really get the correct hydration and give in the patty.

right now i'm working off of 75/25 rough grind to fine grind, 1lb sirloin to 4oz bacon fat., 1.5 tablespoon of salt. i've been using the lid from a large mouth peanut butter jar (the fat 32oz jars) as the form for the patty, using wax paper as a release agent. i used sandpaper to shorten the lid by about a quarter and drilled holes in the back to push the burger out through once it's been shaped.

for some reason letting the formed patties sit in the fridge for several hours improves cohesion.

>>15163145
>which is much better than the burgers most people are capable of making.
The absolute state of amerimutts

>>15163028

>>15163400
hey, this one just has severe autism. so leave the rest of us amerimutts alone :(

>>15163400

you're clueless, i understand that. someone who's never really judged a burger and tried to make a better burger wouldn't have any idea about the estimation of burgers.

so you really don't know what goes into making a GREAT burger. you just eat fucking anything 'yeah that was good!' well good for you, most burgers are edible, but we're reaching for something more than just ok here, we're looking for something truly exceptional.

>>15163410
why do you keep capitalizing words like GREAT? you seriously look like a faggot

Stop taking the bait you mongoloids

>>15163419

it's for emphasis. i am highly literate. don't make me suspect you of being a nigger.

>>15163424
he wouldn't dedicate this much time to this shit if he didn't actually mean some of it

>>15163428
Nah anon you'd be surprised how far baiters will go for (you)s

>>15163442
>>15163428

what part of my lesson here today do you think i 'don't believe'.

i'd probably eat your burger if i was hungry. but i have a deeper appreciation of burgers and i'm not going to tell you it's better than mcdonalds if it isn't.

these are inedible
fastbites are ok tho
White Castle is the best Frozen burger

>>15163470
>what part of my lesson here today do you think i 'don't believe'
>but i have a deeper appreciation of burgers
I didn't realise you were trying to shill ready for the mcplant

>>15163509

nigger please, you're going to have to try harder than just 'be stupid'

>>15163401

>>15163513
The absolute state of you, I don't need to try

>>15163529

if you just wanted you's all you had to do was ask

>>15163400
>Implying that euros are good cooks or have functioning taste buds.

>>15163179
not everyone lives in their parents basement and have to go to a place called work where it is impractical to make a burger from scratch for lunch

>>15163644
you dont have a stove or a grill at work? that's your problem faggot. keep making mommy's microwavable meals

>>15163647

>you dont have a stove or a grill at work? that's your problem faggot. keep making mommy's microwavable meals

so you work at mcdonalds? do you care to tell us about what makes a burger good? share some of your training with us.

>>15163644
where do you work. what does your break room at work have. almost everywhere i have worked has had some kind of kitchen

>>15163662
no i literally have had kitchens everywhere i have worked. there are things called break rooms. what do you do.

>>15163389
Mcdonalds burgers cant be compared to other burgers. It's the best burger I've had from the fast food industry, and it tastes miles better than rustlers. They have nothing on decently made burgers though, and the premade burger patties I can get from the shop are also better. Mcdonalds burgers usually have more salt and flavourings than the regular beef you can get. They are designed to make you want another one, or to go there regularly. It becomes addictive to some people.

are these anything like a mcrib?

>>15163663
>some kind of kitchen
yeah like a toaster and a microwave not a friggin grill. even if some random places do have the facilities, what kind of turbo autist would fry up burgers on their lunch break?

>>15163716
i have always had a stove top with the exception of 1 or 2 jobs. and no, i don't work at mcdonalds.

>>15163721

i don't think you've ever had a job

>>15163735
think whatever you want. keep making microwave meals at work. i'm sure they're great

>>15163742

>>15163746
if your break room at work can only afford a microwave, you must have a great job. lmao

>>15163753

>>15163764
it's funny because now i don't think you've ever had a job

>>15163767

>>15163772
must be too hard to put a grill outside or install a stove in the kitchen area

>>15163785

>>15163753
I worked in a olacr thag could have a stove but the manager couldn't be bothered sorting it out. We have a fridge, microwave and two couches and a table.

>>15163796
i'm sure guys at work would love if you cooked them burgers. preferably not the microwave kind

>>15163389
>i used sandpaper to shorten the lid by about a quarter and drilled holes in the back to push the burger out through once it's been shaped.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Sandpaper?

>>15163817

>>15163817
>>15163833
Ignore that I was being retarded. I didn't see he meant sandpaper on the lid, I read lid as bun.

>>15163863

>>15163193
>mcdonalds has literal teams of scientists who understand hamburgers at the chemical and molecular level, producing burgers on machines specially fabricated for producing hamburgers, by people that make 1000 hamburgers a day, five days a week
>the quality of mcdonalds ingredients is average. it's neither bad nor great. but the theory and planning and execution is perfection
hahaha amazing bait

>>15163833
>>15163877
My man just murdered someone and posting it here

>>15163906

where's the lie? it's not bait, it's true. it's just that people usually don't have accurate opinions about this.

>>15163906
>>15163925
It may be true, but that would just make them look worse. Scientists who know burgers at the chemical and molecular level would know how to take shit meat and make it taste good for tastelets like you.

>>15163968

if it tastes good, then it is by definition not shit meat. meat is as good as it tastes. meat that tastes good, IS good. and someone that ate meat which tastes good and said it's bad would be the tastelet.

the knowledgable man would not call good meat, bad. or bad meat, good. that's self deception, somehow, people like you get into some epistemological disease where you think the smart thing to do is to say that good is bad and bad is good. you are the victim of diabolical jewish psychological warfare.

>>15164046
you are the victim of drugs

>>15164066

no, drugs have always been pretty useful to me and have improved my life. never really had a bad experience with drugs or come to loss through them.

also, what does that have to do with the price of tea in china? the subject of this discussion is the estimation of hamburgers and a real understanding of the degree to which hamburgers can be mastered.

>>15164077
knew i was right

>>15163179
Because when my antidepressants wake me up at 3am absolutely ravenous and I know I won't be able to sleep without eating something, I'd rather spend 90 seconds in the kitchen with the light off, before slapping the cheese on and spreading the sort of bigmac sauce all over it before wolfing it down as quickly as possible and going back to bed than I would actually cooking a burger

If I had 10 mins, I'd make something good, but I just need something I know the exact calories for so I can stick it down in my spreadsheet in the morning

>>15164091
antidepressants ruin brains. i'm sorry someone did that to you

>>15163193
>the quality of mcdonalds ingredients is average.

No the fuck they are not. My brother worked there. The meat is 35% connective tissue as advertised on the patty boxes. The onions are rehydrated and left soaking in tapwater all day at room temperature. The buns are stale as shit and they pick bits of mold off them before toasting them to fuck so there's an excuse for their dryness. Lettuce comes prepacked and shredded in bags and is usually limp and translucent, made of the leftovers that shops didn't want because it didn't meet their quality standards. All their sauces are 90% sugar and MSG.

They're not average, they're as cheap as possible to make as much money as possible

>>15164046
>if it tastes good, then it is by definition not shit meat.
This has to be bait, but I'll bite. Different parts of meat taste different. You may not be able to taste the difference but others can. Mcdonalds burgers have salt and other flavourings to make them taste good, to mask the lack of flavour from the meat, and to bring people back. If a burger says it's made from 100 percent beef it can mean the shit and waste parts of a cow, combined with fillers and flavourings. Basically what this guy
>>15164118 said.
The knowledgable man would know fast food is for speed, not quality.

>>15163120
oi we right snoggered now mum

>>15164118

A. there is nothing wrong with connective tissue, nor in using every part of an animal. it gave its life so you could eat, the least you could do is not waste it. perhaps the most you could do is achieve 'meat mastery' and find a way to make what would be scraps in the hands of less talented culinary scientists into a delicious meal.

B. the dehydrated onions are great. i prefer them over their chopped onions.

C. they do not pick mold off the buns.

D. the lettuce is pretty good too. when i get lettuce for food i'm making, i get the same thing mcdonalds does - the packaged ribbon bags.

E. MSG is good. good cooks use it. sugar is important in many sauces.

mcdonalds makes really good hamburgers at a fair price, which is a noble undertaking. i have zero complaints or problems with mcdonalds and think that they're a good company, providing a valuable service.

>>15164134

A. meat doesn't work like you think it does. i am a hunter and about half the time i cook meat it's pig or deer i put in the freezer. i make meatballs out of heart and i plan on learning to make braunschweiger out of liver sometime soon. the quality of their meat isn't the highest, but nonetheless, because they are skilled, they make it taste good. thus, it is good. good is as good tastes.

B. there ARE no 'shit' parts of a cow and your attitude in that sense is absolutely petulant and chilidish. there is no 'waste' parts of a cow. all of it had a purpose in life and all of it is nutritious in death.

C. they do not use fillers.

fast food, when done right like mcdonalds does it, is not a compromise. they achieve a lot.

it is my belief that you would be unable to produce a better burger than, say, a quarter pounder with cheese with lettuce, tomato, rehydrated onions, pickles ketchup, mustard, and mayo.

>>15164096
Yeah I'm getting some pretty serious side effects from these, they put me on the highest dose right away too for some reason

I'm super tired when I take them, and I really have to force my way out of bed in the morning or I'll just sleep in another 4 hours. I'm super sleepy all morning which is a pain for work. They put me on these ones because I had the opposite problem where I'd just lie there without sleeping at all. Last time I tried asking for something else to get me to sleep they just said I was angling for benzos though and said no, so I don't know what to to

>>15164189
if it doesn't help, talk to your doctor about getting off them. asap

>>15164198
Nah they do help with sleeping, and I don't sleep nearly as well as when I don't take them, but they work too well if anything and if I don't force myself to wake up I'll just sleep for 12-14 hours

I'll ask them about something else, though. Would they be more likely to give me something new if I said they stopped working or just saying the side effects are really strong? They are, the hunger is insane, ir feels like I haven't eaten in days regardless of when I last ate, and I'm tired all day after taking them and can't focus well. I've been told they just don't like taking people off antidepressants though

>>15164189
>>15164226
The point of medication isn't just to keep you "good enough", but to get you functioning normally. Losing large chunks of your day to sleep, being unable to focus, waking up in the middle of the night, etc. are not normal and any doctor worth their paperwork knows that. You might feel that this is "better" than before, but you really shouldn't settle for that when it comes to your health.

Take the initiative. Tell your doctor the problems you're having and they should be more than open to discussing other medications or alternate treatment options. Yes, doctors are hesitant to let patients just drop psychiatric medications, like any other medication, but if it's doing harm to your daily life then continuing with it isn't the right course of action.

>>15163193
Now that's some McBait.

>>15164256
I can work through it, but I'm super tired as a result. I only actually sleep for 10 hours plus on days I have off anyway, mostly because I don't have a lot to do anyway.

Technically it is better than before, not sleeping all night then going into work for 10 hours isn't something I'd want to do again

You're right though it's worth speaking to them about, even if they just give me a smaller dose that might help me not be so tired. I'm not sure why they went straight to the max dose

>>15164256
thanks for the backup anon. it can be a tough crowd here sometimes

>>15164046
>If it tastes good, then it is by definition not shit meat.
Nigger, what? If I season a Steak-um to make it taste better, that affects the quality of the meat? This has to be bait.

>>15164312
Go back, faggot.

>>15164326

meat is a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. i've seen plenty of good cuts of meat ruined by incompetent food makers.

>>15164184
>the quality of their meat isn't the highest, but nonetheless, because they are skilled, they make it taste good. thus, it is good. good is as good tastes.
They make it taste good by masking the flavour with sauce and cheese. Yes sugar is important in sauces and msg is good. But the amount of those ingredients is the problem. Have you ever tried a mcdonalds patty without everything else? If you have then as a hunter you should know that it doesn't taste as good as stuff you've had.
>there ARE no 'shit' parts of a cow and your attitude in that sense is absolutely petulant and chilidish.
I'd rather eat a steak than the stringy bits of shit left over from preparing. It's waste which is either thrown or sold to people who'll mash it up and turn it into spam. Mcdonalds is a great burger for what it is, a cheap fast food burger. They could make them better if they wanted to, but they don't because it's cheaper for the company.
>i have zero complaints or problems with mcdonalds and think that they're a good company, providing a valuable service.
You sound like a shill, try making your own burger and taste the difference. You should know how to.

>>15164347
Its a physical object you goddamm mongoloid. There are different quality cuts of meat, the animal's diet and health is a factor, how the meat was handled is huge as well. If your tiny, chimp mind could comprehend that, you wouldn't be defending McDonald's in such an obtuse way. Slather some A1 on dogshit and you tell how much taste outweighs everything else.

>>15163690
No but they're the best of all the rustlers

>>15163563
we are what we eat

>>15163172
I have them at work.

>>15163139
I wonder what that has in it to make it shelf stable.

>>15165366
I think it's more just a matter of sketchy vending machine operators getting away with selling things that probably shouldn't be sold in a vending machine. I saw one of those in a vending machine in the lobby at my local college, and I swear it was probably the same burger in there for years. Saw the restocking guy come in once and he didn't bother replacing the burger or even restocking them.

One day the burger just disappeared, never to be replaced again. Nobody knows who ate it or if it was just removed.