/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Make her some tap water, remove the illusion that she will have something to look forward to.

Guess you should have known what you were doing before you said you'd do something, incel. Fuck you, I hope it's a train wreck.

>>15104935
Something heavy, so she doesn't want to leave. Maybe a chiliburger with french fries and mayoketchup.

>>15104935
The dessert is more important for women. Bake brownies. Cut a piece, put in a plate with some vanilla ice cream and hot chocolate.

Chocolate triggers the center of pleasure in our brains. Effectively making her horny.

Hi friend since you’re retarded you need to understand you shouldn’t lie when it comes to cooking for someone. If you are refusing the order out, keep a meal simple. YouTube meal ideas and practice the meal first before making it for another person

>>15104935
Make some pasta with bolognese sauce.
Also, as that anon said ,invest more in desert. I recommend buying a tiramisu cake.

Salmon,rice,grilled veggies, maybe some oven roasted potatoes

>>15104935
>buy salami lunch meat
>one of those long hard baguette things at walmart
>dijon mustard
>"we're having jambon from paris" (pronounced pair-ee)
>she's instantly wet
shit is easy anon, just make up some bullshit and call it foreign

>>15104935
https://youtu.be/4jXEuIHY9ic

I forgot to mention that I only have a microwave and a hot plate

>>15104935

Thanksgiving's coming up so there's that.

>>15104935
Put a bunch of weed butter in it without telling her

>>15104935
Carbonara bro, its simple

>>15104938
funny
>>15104939
rude and angry, wanna talk about it?
>>15104984
ooo brownies are a good idea, thanks
>>15104992
oh shit oh fuck that's right we could just order food, i'll probably do that. i forgot that exists as an option
>>15105012
bad idea, she's italian and i am not, i'm not getting near their cusine
>>15105022
comically bad idea with an italian kek
>>15105044
this is not me, as evidenced by being a new ip
>>15105046
already have different plans, could do a thanksgiving part 2 maybe though
>>15105053
aint got no weed
>>15105067
see above about italian

>>15105128
Buy a bag of popcorn and put it in the microwave.

>>15105128
>italian
should have said so. obvious choice is spaghetti-os

>>15104935
Chicken and sweet potatoes or garlic bread

>>15104935
Make her some fresh lobsters. I hear it's fancy and you'll get to wear your new cleats to get her all moist.

>>15104935
Honestly? Go to a grocery and buy a rotisserie chicken and side dishes like potato salad, cole slaw, a baguette, a fruit tray, a meat log and decent cheese then assemble everything on plates so it looks like you made it yourself.

Seems like cheating, but think of it more like the makeup and perfume grills slop on their faces to cover their hideous real image and insufferable stench.

>no mention of cream pies
Package of cream cheese
1/2 container of dream whip
1/2 can of cherry pie filling
Mix and spoon over graham cracker crust. Top with rest of pie filling.

Dinner itself if you don't know what the fuck you are doing cook a frozen lasagna and garlic bread.

>>15104935
cook a good omelette. It's easy to do. Scrambled eggs maybe, have breakfast for dinner or something. It's fun and quirky :3

homemade baked bacon mac n cheese. gets me laid every time.

just make macaroni noodles, then when they're still hot dump in shredded sharp cheddar cheese, bacon bits, half and half, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne powder, salt, black pepper, and a tiny bit of whatever hot sauce you like, franks buffalo is my favorite for the easy baked mac n cheese. put it in the oven at 400 for maybe 15-20 minutes. halfway through pull it out and sprinkle some more shredded sharp cheddar cheese and panko on top.

>>15105267
mental to think this stuff works in america

>>15105128
Follow this for brownies https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2018/02/bravetart-glossy-fudge-brownies.html

>>15105287

women like two things. carbs and cheese. therefore put some effort into a baked mac n cheese.

>>15104935
Pasta Aglio e Oleo. Pasta, olive oil, garlic, parsley, Parmesan, red pepper flakes.

>>15104984
this is Really funny

>>15104935
Mac and cheese, with toppings. For dessert, brownies.

>>15104992
this. practice the meal and have someone else taste it. ask them to be brutally honest about it. make sure you measure all your spices because you aren't good enough to sight spice yet at all

>>15104935
Any idea the foods she likes? What race is she? Also don't serve her too much, even the horniest man has had his fire quelled by too big of a food baby.

>>15104935
Easy: roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and veggies
>all the ingredients are cheap esp if you buy frozen
>spend a little on fresh herbs and butter
>everything is easy to cook
If that scares you, send her over to me OP

>>15105455
And if you want to not look like a child, buy unfrozen vegetables, and roast them (put them in the oven with oil)

>>15105467
You can still roast frozen vegetables. Just thaw and pat dry first.

>>15104935
Do some shit off tasty or delish

>>15105216
For the unenlightened:
>P.S. – It's worth the read

>>15104935
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZPkIPfnzqs&list=FLGJUlO-_YyG3ukkIsGV_Rrg&index=125

Lamb shanks
Mashed potatoes
Carrots, roasted
Melon sorbet w grand Marnier for dessert

>>15105467
>frozen vegetables are bad

>>15104935
If you're serious, I'm going to respond with a guaranteed panty dropper and something very easy for even a retard to cook.

Get a deep pan

Good quality EVOO cover the bottom of the pan.

Chop like 3-4 cloves of very thinly sliced garlic (use a razor blade like in Goodfellas) for every 12 ounce can of San Marzano tomatoes.
Oregano to taste
One small shake of red pepper flakes

Cook until the garlic slices are just slightly browned. Then dump in a can of San Marzano tomatoes. Must be real San Marzanos. Slice them if they aren't already. Low simmer.

Boil water in a big pot nearby. Get spicy italian sausage and boil them until they're almost fully done (slight pink is perfect). Pull them out and slice into 1/4 inch slices. Add them to the red sauce and continue to cook them down until the pasta is done. Save the sausage water (important).

Boil some penne pasta or your choice of pasta in the sausage water.

Don't combine the pasta and sauce. Serve separately so that your date can have a small serving of pasta and a heavy heaping of the flavorful red sauce.

Easy bonus is a baguette sliced in the oven but the pasta and sauce will speak for itself. If you're not a retard it should be easy to whip up a salad to go with this.

I learned this recipe from a legit Siciliano italian chef and can guarantee its a slam dunk for a date night.

It's very hard to fuck up, it'll make you look like a good cook, and it's cheap. Perfect for a /ck/tard entertaining a date.

Best of luck anon.

>>15107051
Ok chud

>>15106959
>>15106826
They don't roast as well unless you let them thaw which is effort. Also they're often chopped up and mixed like your feeding toothless pensioners

>>15104935
Just boil some potatoes and make a meat

>>15107058

Imagine being so much of a pathetic fucking hopeless loser that you have the free time to stalk arcane and niche food recipe forums to troll people that you perceive as having slightly differing political opinions as your own. Imagine being a person like that and how little anyone would give a shit if you just slipped off the face of the earth. Fucking bleak mate. I'd hate to be you.

>>15107123
Stop acting like a chud and I won't call you one

>>15107123
ok chud

>>15104935
Swordfish, so that if she happens to have another man's child developing inside her it will assuredly come out brain damaged
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2RDudOyKx9Y

make rice paper rolls. It ticks several women boxes very well
it's:
>fresh 'clean' and healthy
>both exotic and inoffensive
>lets you play around in the kitchen with her with zero stakes. have her help

so basically prep/blanche some shrimp, or buy some fried tofu puffs, or saute some strips of chicken or all of the above, ahead of time.
buy a bunch of nice fresh veges like cucumber, carrot, radish, cabbage, lettuce, bell pepper, etc. wash and lay them out but jullienne them with a knife or a mandolin at the last moment.
make nuoc cham ahead of time (basically fish sauce, lime/lemon juice, sugar, chilli, garlic, to taste) to dip and to spoon a little on the protein inside each roll.

then you just dip a sheet in hot water in a bowel, fish it out when it goes translucent and then place stuff in it and roll. It's piss easy and fun.

>>15107154
oh yeah also get some herbs like mint and basil and coriander to put in them.

and have something else onhand to eat. Like a pot of rice and some spare of your protein to eat with it and then a dessert. Because these aren't that filling. You don't want to have to make them forever.

Order in but like previous anons said do brownies ala mode.

And something fun while you eat. Watch a movie or series or something that wont have her just thinking about the food.

>>15107097
Taking a bag of frozen vegetables out of the freezer a couple hours before you need them is no effort.

>>15106959
frozen broccoli and frozen carrots are bad, if you have availability to reasonably priced good fresh carrots and brocolli, which most people do, because the texture is far better and both of those things will easily keep for a week in the fridge which means you can buy them at a weekly shop.

frozen beans or peas, ok.
seasonal things like asparagus or corn, also retarded. Just eat them seasonally and fresh.

It's not blanket good or bad. There are reasons why. What frozen vegetables do often signify though, is that in your mind vegetables are a mindless afterthought that should be as cheap and easy as possible. Which means you're a bad cook.

I am gay.

>>15104984
yeah, women really like chocolate...haha...

>>15104935
Pasta. And a very good quality bottle of red wine.

>>15107845
Please kill yourself.

>>15107857
No, I like being alive (and gay).

>>15107711
Remembering to do so is the effort

>>15104935
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP0J7cI9YIQ

>>15104935
macaroni, potato wedges, hamburgers, eggs, scrambled eggs, eggs on toast, salad, chicken and rice, eggs and rice

this is all super easy shit

>>15104941
Yo that is so devilish, will be definitely be following this idea

>>15104941
Delightfully devilish, seymour. Very good idea, will be using this next time

>>15104935
I'm kind of spamming this, but here is my go to:
Starter: Badridschani
Main: Khachapuri

Alternatively make an impressive ramen.
Thank me later.

>>15104935
Just make a good stew, its simple, and delicious

>>15107051
If you’re not finishing the pasta with the sauce and some pasta water you fucking up

>>15104935
get some chicken breasts, butterfly them, and marinate them in mojo marinade (usually in the hispanic aisle, but italian dressing is also fine) two days ahead. cook them in a pan or in the oven

chop some potatoes into 1/2 inch cubes. boil for like 10 minutes. remove from water, then toss in a bowl with a little oil, herbs, salt and pepper, then finish them in the oven, 325 F for around 20 minutes

saute some fresh green beans until they start to get a little tender. drizzle with olive oil (or butter) and salt and pepper. das it

So you are cooking something for a date. 1st of all it's in a week so you don't have to be that nervous. Anyway don't don't make don't make Mexican food that's don't do that. Just make something simple like red beans and rice wait when did I just

>>15104941
Based sleazeposter

>>15104941
Nice trick for having girls stay the night without being obliged to have sex with them. I'm so sick of being expected to have sex with people before I really know them deeply.