/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>15032844
>Eating Ice Cream
>Zero ice, zero cream
>I scream

>eat chicken wing
>it's actually a malformed chick leg
>wtf???
I'm gonna coom.

>spend time making food for someone
>They think I'm being cheap for not eating out
I hate dating

>>15032844
>Spend days making chicken, brine, marinate, slow cook, with all the trimmings for normie partner who never cooks and pokes fun at me giving a fuck when I cook
>Eat a couple of slices and before I finish my plate they've eaten the literal entire chicken leaving nothing for me
>Gee Anon, that was delicious

>start cooking
>Get yelled at because smell and noise
>Finish cooking
>get yelled at for not doing dishes even through I haven't started eating
>Do dishes
>Half of food is gone and it's all gone cold
I can only think of commiting war crimes

>making food for parents
>usually i end up making steaks
>default to filets cooked med rare to rare
>send out first two steaks
>im still cooking my own steak
>dad comes back
"anon theres too much pink r u sure this is cooked all the way through"
>take steak back
>overcook it on purpose
>send it back
>no complaints

>>15032844
>Absentmindedly eating bag of chips
>Reach out for chip
>Hand scraps around packet searching
every crevice
>None left, I didn't even know that was the last one when I ate it to appreciate it
-Reeeeeeee

>>15033231
Lol sometimes well done steak with a1 steak sauce is pretty good

>>15032844
>eating pistachios
>like to suck the salty shell before peeling
>watching the so not paying attention
>peel shell and bite into pistachio
>instant sour taste and goo in mouth
>spit it out
>it was a bug
Haven’t had pistachios since

>>15032844
Making tea
>Add teabag, sugar and water
>Leave to steep
>Remove teabag, accidentally add more sugar and add milk
> Wait to cool down, take a sip
> Wince as the overpowering sickly sweetness coats my mouth
I am the master of my own demise

>>15033307
>tea
>any amount of sugar

>>15033339
Builders tea must have or it's not builders tea

>>15032844
Damn that's the worst.

>cooking peppers and sausages in the kitchen
>boiling pasta al dente
>make a bowl and sit on the couch to watch netflix
>mr. kooky watches me from the corner, but doesn't say anything. I don't like when he stares.

>>15033361
who is mr. kooky anon?

>>15033361

>grill onions
>no breading
>eat as-is

>>15032844
>eat spinach
fuck spinach
ifucking hate spinach it tastes like shit

>>15032844
>take bite of burger
>pickle slides out

>eating berries
>hands all stained
nooo

>>15032844

>>15032844
This happens every other time you eat onion rings, you just put the empty breading in your mouth right after to get mostly the same culinary effect. You must have a very low threshold for suicidal depression.

>>15032844
>drinking liquid orange juice
>feel the pulp through my teeth and the walls of my esophagus
why, WHY
WE HAVE THE POWER TO STRAIN OUT IMPURITIES
JUICE
SHOULD
NOT
HAVE

FUCKING

TEXTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>15035228
What is this meme? Spinach is great in ramen.

>>15033142
>They think I'm being cheap for not eating out
Another fine example of consumerism

>>15035552
>buy no pulp orange juice
>there's pulp
I can only take so much

>>15036117
>Buy orange juice with pulp
>Forget to shake it
>Get a goopy mess at the end

>>15032844
>dad asks me if I have a strudel
>I'm holding a fucking cheese breadstick.

most people can't cook for shit and will pull their best poggers and praise you just because you boiled the noodles right and added a handful of seasoning, does it bother you when people compliment something that isn't even that good

My mom leaves raw meats out in room temperature for hours before cooking them because it's apparently "easier to cook" that way.
She also thaws frozen meat by leaving it in room temperature overnight.
Then yells at me when I put it in the fridge.
I'm still surprised none of us are in the hospital for food poisoning

b...but anon I domt want that tricknosis or small monella or ecoli from dur undercooked meats

>>15032844
>eating cereal
>it's hard to chew
>it's actually a whole fingernail

>>15036844
>>15033231
I forgot to reply to the post and will now commit seppuku

>>15033142
In what fucking reality is making food for someone you're dating not a romantic gesture, assuming it's good food and not like microwaved pizza rolls?
Consoomerism really has ruined everything.

>>15036841
Btw I'm in my 20s not underaged. Had to move back in with parents because I lost my job when the restaurant I was working in shut down

>>15036841
This is literally fine, you autist.

>>15033216
stand up for yourself you fucking whimpering labia

>>15036910
How?

>>15036952
Temp the meat, the next time you feel like freaking out to your poor old mother. If it's below 41 degrees, it's ServSafe certified to eat. 41-141 is the "danger zone" for bacteria growing on food, salmonella only lives in that temp range.

>>15036968
I see. I was yelled at by the head chef anytime I left raw meat out more than 5 seconds so I thought you hated to always keep it refrigerated.

>>15036986
He probably assumed you were just another retard who'd leave it out forever, and once it's thawed it starts to come to that danger zone pretty quick, especially in a hot, humid restaurant kitchen. If frozen, there's nothing wrong with leaving it out for a while, although overnight is too much, that's why I said to temp it because you could be the one who's in the right, in that situation. If you're going to think that far ahead, just stick it in the fridge overnight, it should be mostly thawed the next day, but if you're pulling something that same day, with the intention of using it that same day, leave it out.

>>15037003
Also, set your meat on something aluminum, it'll thaw faster.

>>15033339
what? not even a teaspoon with a small squirt of honey?

>>15032844
>Crack egg
>Egg Yolk breaks on way down

Why?

>>15032844
bite it and then grit your teeth

>>15038211
slam it against the counter, once, with confidence, that's all I have to say, it can sense your fear

>>15032844
bump

>>15033216
Lol you cook for someone and clean the dishes before eating WHILE they eat?
Tell them to clean the dishes or cook for them damn selves you self-victimizing cum slut

>>15033361
Is al dente a secret /ck/ meme meant to trigger people
Because it’s fucking working

Test

>>15033142
Peak consoomer. Don't waste your time with them.

>>15040469
Do you actually not know what al dente is?

>>15033175
You sound like you're dating a fat piece of shit anon

>>15040477
I do but the fact that everyone on here specifies
>cooking pasta al dente
Like it’s some extra special cooking technique or relevant in some way when it’s completely pointless information seems like some kind of ultra-autistic b8

>>15040483
How about I fuck your mom with my 10 inch al dente cock, retard

>>15040495
I like my cocks fully cooked and salmonella free, thank you

>>15033361
uuhhh

>>15032844

This happened to me around a year ago

>live in NYC
>there's this 24/7 halal food stand that's a couple blocks away from where I used to live
>food wasn't really good quality or anything, but it was cheap
>coming home from school one night I decided to get myself a lamb gyro platter
>get home, turn on TV, start eating the food
>everything is going fine until I get this strange crunch and weird texture in my mouth
>pull a literal fucking cockroach out of my mouth

Since then I've sworn to myself that I'd never eat sandnigger food again.

>>15033239