/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14988125
holy fuck that sounds awful
i hope you get away with the eventual murder

>>14988125
>for my girl, she crumpled it up and threw it in the trash
sorry that should read for my bull, HE crumpled it up and threw it in the trash.

go ahead and post it but going off this one interaction really sounds like your gf is a bitch and you should probably take some hard steps to improve the relationship for yourself and then break it off if nothing changes

>>14988125
i would like to see it. Your gf sounds like a bitch, did you guys fight about something and she is angry with you?

>>14988125
what a cunt
show me your menu dude

>>14988148
>>14988150
here's 2 I hope these post

>>14988154
is it just a normal breakfast menu? I was expecting some kind of attempt at making the foods "spooky" beyond the names but either way, that's more effort then I've ever put into my relationships and my girlfriends have always been great.

>>14988154
spooky breakfast sounds nice. maybe it will cheer her up.

>>14988125
Im torn.
On one hand your gf is a fucking bitch for outright rejecting a show of affection.

On the other hand I feel like halloween food should be the thing the girl makes for the guy. Unless he really, really likes cooking.

But idk, if my bf did this for me I'd think it was cute, but we've been together a long time and I want him to father my child.

>>14988188
>On the other hand I feel like halloween food should be the thing the girl makes for the guy. Unless he really, really likes cooking.

Modern girls can't cook.

>>14988188
>Unless he really, really likes cooking.

If only there were a board where us weirdos who actually like cooking could hang out...

>>14988125
i don't care how hard true love is to find dump that trash bitch

You deserve better, anon. I hope you find happiness and love.

>>14988205
they can reheat tho
>>14988218
haha naw it's ok she wasn't in the mood for my bullshit today
>>14988225
I do deserve better but unfortunately thats impossible as no one's better than me

cont

?/? I forget

>>14988229
>haha naw it's ok she wasn't in the mood for my bullshit today
Holy shit dude, did she crumble up your balls too?

Your writing and drawing is nice, too bad your girlfriend is a stupid cunt. I now think less of you.

>>14988238
that is a lot of food, how many people are you feeding? or is that so she can order off the menu and that is what you will cook?

not sure I get what you were goin for OP I dont think you should listen to the other fags saying you could do better. What is the point of writing down :0monster on a piece of lined paper, its just an omlette

>>14988239
dude I had a vas 2 years ago what's there to crumble?
>>14988242
thanks and fuck off I guess

>>14988229
She wasn’t in the mood for you planning to cook breakfast for her?

Did you fuck up and this is your half assed way of extending an olive branch? Buy some goddamn flowers dude

>>14988247
yes I will cook whatever.
>>14988251
the o is a screamy face . ... think halloween

>>14988258
I read that as he is a pain in the ass and it's fine and she is probably not a cunt, he is just silly and it was half mockingly playing with him.

ok so what do you want me to make....
>>14988263
close I think it was bad timing and high expectations on my part

>>14988125
This looks like something I would have made for my mom when I was 8. Apply yourself my dude

>>14988213
/ck/ is not full of people who like cooking. Look at all the fast food posts on here.

>>14988272
Honestly I think it’s pretty cute but low effort. Not everything has to be the finest in the land. She should have appreciated it man, don’t knock yourself.
If she makes a pattern of making you feel like shit, you should consider voicing your feelings. If she doesn’t listen to those feelings, she’s not putting in the effort.

>>14988274
I applied myself right now

>>14988205
Uh excuse me I can cook. I need to work on my baking though. All I can do now is cookies, biscuits, and pie crusts. I wanna do bread and pastries like doughnuts.

>>14988205
old noodle free ramen I cooked (for myself)

>>14988125
/ck/ is your girlfriend now, anon. Hope you like Jack threads, sips, and unwashed boipucci

>you have to eat all the eggs.
I mean sure she was mean about it but she did the right thing.

>>14988205
Roast duck (its butchered like shit because it was one of my first times butchering a duck)

>thread not full of shitposts
Forgot I was on 4chan for a moment.

> Uhh yeah, can I getta "boorita" please?"

>>14988309
no thanks, but maybe one day anon.
>>14988314
the duck butcherer anon has become a meme
>>14988319
>complains about shit posts
>makes shitposting look like pottery
holy fuck

>>14988329
I hate phone posting...
forgot pic

>>14988328
ok sorry I was out by the dumpster having a ciggy

>>14988328
working

>>14988354
>>14988369
Oh thank goodness, i thought i was gonna have to eat raw eggies for a sec

>>14988396
potatoes take a bit...

>>14988125
>>14988254
>bitchy girlfriend, but possibly period
>getting a vasectomy
Your relationship will last two years more at most, get prepping.

>>14988229
>she wasn’t in the mood for my bullshit today
Op, are you being abused?

>>14988254
>faggy Halloween menu
>stays in an abusive relationship
>vasectomy
Nuff said

>>14988414
stop pretending you know more than you do.
>>14988420
define abused
>>14988428
idk, maybe you're one person who is actually jealous

>>14988254
Oh yeah I forgot, this guy
>>14988239 meant you're a spineless faggot, nothing about a vasectomy you retard. Forget two years, one and a half years you'll have left if you're this clueless.

>>14988444
i know you're an incel and I'm sorry, consider it a blessing

>>14988254
Why did you get a vasectomy?

>>14988410
>>14988442
Looking good

>>14988472
I had a coupon
>>14988478
working anon, sorry about ticket times

>>14988480
Sorry you don't want kids. Probably for the best your lineage ends tho.

>>14988463
Nigga I just want you to know is all, trust me it's things like that that can snowball. Little tiny things you'd think nothing of she might remember and possibly use against you if she's pretty bitchy.
>consider it a blessing
What do you mean by this?
Your food is looking good by the way

>>14988478
*ding
order up!

>>14988523
> Divine
Ok now I actually want a burrito

>>14988577
shitty pic

>>14988442
Your girlfriend is more of a man than you are. Kys

Well this thread turned shit

I'd probably never offer to cook for her again desu

>>14988296
>I can cook
>All I can do now is open a package labeled "Pillsbury"
lmao

>>14988238
How the fuck does a "one person cooking for one other person" menu work?
Did you buy all the shit to make any one of these things? What are you going to do with your extra food?
This all seems very fake and gay, otherwise I guess a sociopath is fucking a literal retard out there somewhere.

>>14990021
are you retarded? a lot of these share ingredients and are pretty normal ingredients to have on hand anyway.

Anon I would be ecstatic if you made me that cute little menu. It's really sweet, you might even get a cheeky blowjob out of it~

>>14990003
Made those from scratch with oats I fermented at home.
Fuck Pillsbury.

>>14988229
shut the fuck up nigga, she a bitch, you aint
make your own fucking sausage and let her eat shit

>>14990417
post recipe those look better than how mine come out

>>14988125
Mate I'll be real. If this lass I've been with, the fucking perfect woman for me emotionally and physically, did something a quarter as emotionally repugnant as that and she wasn't in "parents fucking died and she watched" levels of stress, she'd be kicking rocks within an hour. Hope you can talk with her and see what her deal is because goddamn that's gross to just shit on another person's affection like that. I wouldn't wish that kind of relationship on Stalin

>>14988205
Wrong. They can cook as well as modern men. Get out more, maybe meet some people, take an interest in their lives.

>>14991928
Preheat oven to 350
360 grams flour
12 g baking soda
3 g salt
60 g sugar
mix
90 g butter cold, not frozen cut into peices and put in and break down into pea sized peices with your clean hands
add 240 grams of cooked fermented oats (I soak mine for 7-10 days before cooking, you can do less time if you want)
90-100 g of milk (you can use buttermilk if you want)
fold until combined, do not overmix or you will lose flakiness.
grease pan (i use glass pyrex but you can do this on a cast iron skillet too) with peanut oil (you can use any oil but peanut is my favorite. Others would be canola, vegetable, or melted lard/tallow)
On a floured surface, roll out dough untill 1 inch thick, cut out with cutter of your choice. Do not twist cutter otherwise you can lose flakiness
Scramble one egg and brush the top for golden finish

Bake for 10 minutes, then rotate and check every 5 minutes until tops are golden.

Enjoy!
p.s
fuck pillsbury.

>>14993033
also my cooked fermented oats are usually chilled in the fridge before using. I make a big batch, it can be in the fridge for a week or so for multiple batches of oat biscuits.

>>14988125
You don't have a gf, you just did this shit because you were bored

>>14988154
your menu sucks no wonder she threw it in the bin

>>14993206
I actually do.

>>14993033
how would this work without the oats? add more milk?

>>14988272
I'll have the Toasty MeGhosty with a side of rice, please.

>>14988154
Well you didn’t tell us that you’re retarded

>>14988247
>>14990021
You two are so fucking retarded all of it is normal food
You have literally outed yourselves as fat shitlords with hot pockets and milk in your fridge and a fuckload of fast food containers in your trash

>>14988272
Pure unadulterated cute-tism.

OP for one your menu is trash and you clearly can’t cook worth a god damn if this is all you can come up with for a “creative Halloween menu” like god damn nigga that shits retarded. Not a single sweet? Just a bunch of basic ass Denny’s shit? Come on bro, children can do far better than that.
Second of all, what the fuck man? You made her a shit menu, which makes you kind of a faggot, but she just crumpled it and ignored you completely? She’s basically stating to you with her actions that in her world you don’t exist, and that’s fucking disgusting man. Either she’s emotionally and physically invested in someone else, or she has some serious personal issues she needs to get figured the fuck out.

Let me clue you in on what’s wrong here, here’s some normal responses: if you’re really shit at cooking and it would be inedible, then she would thank you for the effort and offer to make something you made up; if you’re able to create edible slop, then she would ask for whichever one she thinks you could do best and thank you for your effort; if you’re decent at cooking, then she would basically do the same as the one before. The way she acted is absolutely wrong and in no way an acceptable way to treat another human being. Think of it like this, if some kid did this to you in elementary school you probably wouldn’t fucking talk to that kid much afterwards because they clearly want nothing to do with your bullshit. That usually means they find something else more, dare I say, tantalizing.

>>14990141
That's nice and all but you have to get into the head of a woman to understand her disappointment.

Girls want an easy life, they want to be on yachts and in high rise fancy restaurants being pampered.
She crumpled up that menu he spent time making because it wasn't the menu at a 5 star restaurant.
Because she wasn't in hawaii
Because she wasn't satisfied with her normal life.
She wanted to be special, like other whores that brag about their perfect lives on social media.

When she scrunched up that menu she was complaining about what she didn't have and wanted, not what she had.
Probably best to leave her.

>>14988272
Are you underage or just a supremely cringey autist?

>>14988125
Cute ghost

>>14988272
It’s a cute idea but very low effort. You could’ve printed out a menu or at least used markers or something...I don’t know

>>14988272
She’s probably sick of eating bottom tier breakfast food, we don’t know this guys relationship. Start cooking for her like a real man

>>14988154
> o/pep
fucking hell, kid

>>14993826
what's wrong with those abbreviations

Does your girlfriend know you had a vasectomy? This is important information, and kids are a nightmare.
Also I'll have the toasty mcghosty please

>>14988442
I mean he knows all he needs to really, he's not wrong.

>>14993627
based
>>14993639
neither
>>14993712
thanks
>>14993723
I spent 5 min on it cut me some slack. that's all it deserved
>>14993734
but I am a real man
>>14994094
the vas is unimportant
>>14994132
if he said something he's wrong not me

>>14988125
Beat her OP. A woman needs put in her place from time to time. Smack her around then throw her on her stomach rip her pants/panties off get her good and pinned then throw it in her ass dry. She’ll learn her place

>>14994223
>the vas is unimportant
Nigga getting a vasectomy is quite an important decision when you're in a relationship, because it's either your tubes and her's. It's also harder for her to get her tubes tied than you getting yours. You saying it's uninportant doesn't say much about your character.
For your menu I wouldhave added some sort of fruit, like candy apples but sliced and dunked in custard

>>14988229
>she wasn't in the mood for my bullshit today
She sounds like trash. Most women would be happy to see that kind of effort and affection. Unless you were going to make a mess, make her late for work, or she is allergic to all this, she's just being a bitch.

>>14988272
>bad timing
How so?

>>14988334
Kid Meal? Is that where she blows you?

>>14988523
Yeah she's a cunt.

>>14988125
Why the fuck are you still with her? She's the one who should've made you a spooky halloween dinner in the first place, even the throwing away aside.

>>14993333
You could give it a try without the fermented oats. This is how I do it though as I need probiotics in order to digest complex carbs and I find the flavor to be quite nice. My assumption is that it would probably come out more dry, and with more milk it may come out too soggy or flat. You can try it though and see how it goes! I would recommend buttermilk or yogurt instead of plain milk.

>>14994245
Just make her get an implanon or IUD, it's as effective (if not more) than sterilization of the male or female and can be taken out at any time, wa la

>>14994355
I had to look those up because I wasn't aware they existed. Implanon was discontinued, but replaced with another. The IUD releases copper into the womb, which sounds bad but isn't, but copper toxicity is a thing but you would need a far much than whats in the IUD. It's good if you want kids but not yet, pointless if you don't plan on having kids. I think a downsideis more pain and discomfort, but depends on the woman.

>>14988125
She probably hates you because you have no future together. I would be turned off if my man had a vasectomy. Like wow, you don't even want to have kids with me? What a fucking rejection.

What you did to her by neutering yourself is far worse than what she did to you, rejecting a childish menu that she would have loved if it had been made by the creation of your loins.

>>14994450
I have a copper IUC, it isn't uncomfortable. I had a mirena before and it caused hormonal (emotional) problems and migrated and I had to have a surgical procedure to get it removed. This one is staying put though, no issues. Most doctors won't put an IUD in unless you have already had a child or you are over a certain age.

>>14988125
>>14988125
>>14988154
Are you literally 12 years ? She is def cheating on your beta ass.

>>14994466
>Most doctors won't put an IUD in unless you have already had a child or you are over a certain age.
That's outdated information. Most doctors will give any woman an IUD as long as her uterus is not undersized.

>>14994466
lmao what bs, a doctor will now chop your cock off if you just claim to be a woman. They'll put in an IUD if a woman wants one.

>>14988125
>>14988154
are you literally 12 years old???
She is definitely cheating on your beta ass
>>14988254
>got a vasectomy
oh my fucking GOD

>>14988125
>half this thread is about OP gf
Excellent bait OP

>>14994486
Nope, I tried getting an IUD years ago and the doctor I went to refused because I didn't have children. I'm glad I didn't get it. I dont wanna fuck with my hormones.

Hold your head up king