/ck/ - Food & Cooking

is that a real girl

>>14936200
Yeah, 100% real.
You can check the serial number.

>>14936192

of course it worked out you fag

>>14936209
Tell us your story, cooking boy

>>14936192
Yes, a few years ago, it was chili.

I'm quicker and more accurate, this chick is cute and I'd cook for her. One has to be very careful the other way is stupid.

>>14936206
Isn't this bitch dead?

>>14936223

It wasnt even anything marginally impressive

>seared pork loin basted with butter/thyme/rosemary/garlic
>polenta, 1:1 milk:chicken stock, chevre, hot sauce, maple syrup, sherry vinegar, brunoise veg
>seared broccolini w garlic/red pepper flake/salt/pepper
>red wine/butter emulsion

We ate the food, then i put my pp in her and then romance explosion in the mouth. Then we cuddled and watched cold case files til we fell asleep.

>tinder date, cute 22 year old
>tell her im a great cook, blah blah
>make plans to meet for drinks then go back to my place to cook
>cornish game hen, nice and crispy roasted
>pears on the side
>creamy spinach
>roasted potatoes
>we fuck while it's cooking
>eat, it's great
>fuck again
>she stays over
>morning is super awkward, like waking up next to a girlfriend but neither of us really know each other
>make her some tea and eggs. i don't make her eat all the eggs.
>she's too hungover to go home, i have to go to work
>"h-heh, you can stay here until you feel better but don't steal anything lol"
>she's gone when i get back, nothing stolen
>text back and forth once more
>says the first date was "way too much"
i save cooking for followup dates now. it definitely felt a little too intimate for a girl i had only just met. don't do backflips trying to impress someone that you have no idea if you actually want to spend more time around yet.

>>14936271
That might be the dead chick from /b, that's hilarious.

>>14936276
You forgot the "trade wiskey" to make sure she stays.

>>14936276

Anon learns a valuable lesson. Proud of you, bro.

>>14936276
I know you. Oh my goodness you're such a fucking loser! Wait till Coby hears about this.

>>14936334

>mfw coby hears about this

anon, please.. dish the deetz, what the fuck

>>14936274
Had a similar meal tonight and you know, it's pretty darn good.

>>14936334
>Coby
what a stupid name

It works every time I have a girl over.

I’m so fucking lonely, bros.

>>14936380

There are few things more enjoyable to me than reducing something syrupy and then emulsifying a tbsp of butter in and watching the consistency become velvet and seeing the SHINE of the sauce. fuck.

Pork/polenta is classic comfy. Its bizarre to me that a simple meal like that is out of most peoples skillset

>>14936413

iktf bro

i have never had a girlfriend

>>14936423
Every meat I make I love reducing its sauce, I just know I need to keep my salt levels down too.

>>14936441

Do you hit it with a bit of butter at the end? Thats what separates the men from the faggots

>>14936460
Yeah, but that's also the most unhealthy part.

>>14936192
Feeding women anything other than liquor doesn't get you laid. I might show them a picture of the steak I made myself several hours before seeing them.

>>14936473
Fair point.

>>14936466

>butter is unhealthy

come on

>>14936477
It is with my sedentary lifestyle.

Cooking date...? What the fuck is that. You mean making someone else cook for you? That’s just a date at a restaurant. Mandatory first date. Anything else is trying too hard.

>>14936534
It's just the thread name.
Could be when you and a girl cooked/baked together.
When you cooked for a girl.
Maybe made her a fancy sweet treat that makes her go "wow I bet his dick tastes great too"
Whatever the fuck you feel like.
As long as cooking is involved in trying to get some.

>>14936192
I only cook for women I'm exclusively dating or for my mom when she visits.
My last girlfriend liked my egg-drop soup so much that I actually don't enjoy making it anymore. Not that it's an especially thrilling recipe to begin with.
Random chick who stays the night? There's leftovers and cheese and crackers.
I don't eat breakfast before work so I'll make enough coffee for two.

>>14936334
he sounds fine dont know what youre talking about roasty

>>14936334
what

The girl I want to impress is vegan. What the fuck do vegans eat.

>>14936775
Make her a vegetable tempura and zarusoba meal.

>>14936192
8ish years ago, made Chef Johns garlic shrimp. Married now. Still cook for her and our kids.

>>14936789
Godspeed.

>>14936192
On my second date with my ex we went to the river and caught crawfish together. Then we cooked em up at her place. I think she was impressed. After that we got handsy in the hot tub and then fucked in her bed and ate sweets. It was great.

Now I cook for guys instead cuz I turned into a tranny and no woman will date me

>>14936775
Run away

>>14936824
She's so cute bro. I've never had a girlfriend before I think I have a shot

>>14936874
Give it a shot, but also run away.

>>14936192
I normally reserve stuff like that whenever I spend the night/vice versa and most of the time it's a hit. I think the first time doing it was years when a girl I just started dating came over to my place. She was still tired so I offered to cook breakfast. Forgot exactly what the whole meal was but she came out while I was doing prep work qnd had the following exchange.
"What are you doing?"
"... dicing potatoes for hash browns...?"
"Oh, I figured you were just going to heat up something in the microwave."

My last girlfriend used to try at least one new dish together a week if we had the day off together. Usually something from Food Wishes.

>>14936334
>wait till Coby hears about this.
Do tell anon, do tell

>>14937029
>>14936334
what

>>14936192
Been a while since I even managed to go far enough to cook for a grill, but I did all kinds of crazy pastas for my ex and she liked it, then she broke my heart

I miss cooking for other people, I'm so alone

>>14936775
You can very easily make Vegan Curry, and it's delicious, just replace protein with tofu

must have been around 5-6 years ago
I made salad with chicken liver and a mustard sauce and a side of Italian bread
she said it looked impressive, but she wouldn't eat the liver, even though I had heard her say she loved the seared veal liver her grandma would make her
I've pretty much only cooked for my friends since then

>>14937401
what a bitch, did you assault her

>>14936874

Will it be worth it..?

>>14936334
how did you get out if you didn't eat all the eggs?

>>14937660
He died in a car accident instead

Why are there so many normals here?
I am a 29 year old virgin

>>14936192
one time i made a cheesecake for a girl for her birthday and she only had one slice, so i took the rest of it to my family's thanksgiving and they thought it was really great.

>>14937727
Did you expect a girl to eat an entire cheesecake in one day?

>>14937361
God damn this is one of the reasons the vegan lifestyle doesn't resonate with the majority of people
A normal person doesn't simply think in terms of protein, carbs, fiber,... In the same way a lot of vegans don't think in terms of minerals and vitamins
Due to the Inability of most vegans, veganism will never have the impact on the environment it could have

I'd make her whatever she wants if I can have her feet for my meal.

>>14937772
I'll see that and raise you a Krysten.

>>14937794
she looks gross
would not cook for her

>>14937797
What are you, some kind of cannibal?

>>14937797
hahaha, happy feet

>>14936413
It happens to all of us from time to time, "so lonely" "The Police"

>>14936192
>image
If I arrived to a date and were served mac n' cheese I'd turn 360 degrees and walk away.

>>14937816
double double toil and trouble

>>14937816
There's nothing wrong with a mac & chz on a late night, gotta serve the crew something, its certanily better than gruel.

>>14937816
GROG AND GRUEL FOR SOME BLIGHTLY

>>14936192
last week Thursday, but she ended up cooking for me halfway through

>>14936334
Explain

>>14937473
Yes 100%

>>14936192

my gf and I cook every weekend together. As lame and gay as it sounds, it's fucking nice doing so. Something about it just feels great.

>>14936192
DEENZ
GRUEL
BUTTER
BANGERS
SIMPLE
AS

>>14938122
>As lame and gay as it sounds
Insecure little faggot, I fucking hate people like you. Why would this sound lame and gay? It sounds lame and gay now because you are an insecure little bitch who's scared of being judged. Lame and gay faggot.

>>14936358
>>14937029
>>14937884
Genuine retards.

>>14938122
>lame and gay
I think you allow this place to affect your thinking too much.

>>14937358
why don't you post your food on cooking reddits? you can meet people through there, probably some that live by you

>>14937733
he's a fat shit who made a cheesecake for a girl who doesn't even care about him lol. of course he expects someone to eat it in one day

>>14938122
My gf and I cook often too since we moved in together. Well it's more like 70% her and 30% her but it's gotten to a point where we barely eat out and don't have the desire too. There's times she'll cook something like chicken picatta and then make chicken wings an hour later so we can eat it the next day.

>>14936192
2 years ago now
>first attempt at cooking for a girl
>Latina ravioli
>pot was too small and boiled over
>then i realize i didn't buy the sauce
>date was laughing at me so hard she was crying the entire drive to Coles.
>She tells me to buy her a bottle of wine too.
>dump her arse last month because she belittled me way to much and i lost my mind

>>14936398
Could be worse, it could be "Lance"

>>14936192
Probably 10 years ago. I made chili. It was so good that we got married. We're still riding that high and regularly cook together.

>>14936192
I have never been on a date

I regularly cook for my fiancée and occasionally do "surprise" meals with a romantic feel, a bottle of wine, some candles, some music.

My fiancée is greek and we met up for a date weekend in Milan when we were first seeing each other - honestly just because it was a neutral location and the flights and accommodation was actually very cheap. It was the weekend before valentines day and we had a nice apartment within walking distance to the city centre.

I made sure i got an earlier flight there so i had time to prepare, then went food shopping. I went to a wine shop and asked for wine advice, told them what i was going to be making for starter and main (simple stuff; mozzarella and tomato salad to start and chicken and mushroom risotto for main) and wanted white wines, one for the starter and one for the main. Once I had those I went to a deli to buy the mozzarella and went to a local grocers to buy everything else.

I'd bought her a valentines card and an understated sterling silver dragonfly necklace, and when she got to the apartment i had some candles out, gave her the card and gift and got to cooking.

Got my brains fucked out that night let me tell you.

>>14936192
10 years ago
I think it did.

I just eat them out of the bag.

>>14937462
I didn't

>>14938538
Nice.

>>14936192
>When's the last time you cooked in an attempt to impress a girl?
Many years ago
>Did it work out?
No in both cases, but they were quite happy about the free food. I just keep to myself these days.

>>14938538
And then you went and spoiled it all by sharing it on the internet. Why would you want to defile the memory like this?

>>14936413
Stop being a lazy coward, loser.

>>14939116
Calm down mate, it's just a madeup story

>>14936274

This is a surprisingly decent thread. Heres another one:

>have this little cutie over
>living in seattle at the time, we go to met market together to shop
>shes in a short skirt and tights with cute heeled boots (pic related, muh dick)
>buy a nice prime strip
>taters
>bottle of cognac (also pic related)
>have some foie gras scraps from work
>get back to mine, smoking some DUDE LMAO, sipping on the ‘yac
>okay time for food
>sear steak in pan, baste with thyme/garlic butter
>finish in oven
>butter baked and seasoned potatoes come out as steak is as well, resting
>pansauce.exe
>a little drunk and DUDE
>deglaze pan with liiike what had to have been 3-4oz of ‘yac in a med sautee pan
>grab lighter
>put in electric stove til its simmering
>”shes gonna be SO turned on, man”
>alcohol boiling, take lighter
>INFERNO IN APARTMENT
>am legitimately scared, BIG mistake
>not a coward or a retard so dont drop pan
>glance over while holding a three foot high bonfire, she impressed
>fire dies, apartment still not on fire, thibk were good
>throw in a sprig of thyme and some cream, black pepper, sherry vinegar, a touch of dijon, and the foie gras
>emulsify
>sauce is GOOD
>but could be BETTER
>rummage through fridge, sour cream
>next mistake
>assume sour cream = creme fraiche, good for pan sauces
>wrong
>beautiful sauce breaks like its a tv show on AMC starring bryan cranston
>exercise in futility trying to save it with tap water
>shes becoming skeptical of my abilities
>”anon, its fine! Im sure it tastes great! :)”
>am now fucking mad
>seriously consider throwing the lovely steak and taters in trash and telling her to fuck off and never call me again
>sullen, defeated, eat thr disgusting broken sauce in silence while she tries to reassure me how good everything is

bros.. i still think about the sauce that shouldve been.. FUCK.

>>14939116

>female hands typed this post

Lighten up you crazy broad

>>14936192
Last night, for my wife.
The other night I got home and my wife was craving some "soul food", baked mac and cheese, beans, and collard greens.
Mind you, I just got off a 14 hour shift, my wife has been work from home for the past six months, and yet as soon as I step through the door the demands for food starts.
I am exhausted. The least she could do would be to start dinner. I don't even expect a full meal for me, ready and on the table, for when I get home. Just start the fucking food.
But no. House is a mess, dishes need to be done. I've had it
I threw everything into a pot, everything. The noodles, the cheese, the canned beans, all the spices and the collard greens. I made her watch as I cooked it.
Knew it was done once the pasta cooked through.
Next thing I did was make her eat her hot bowl of everything soup
She kept crying, saying she didn't want it, that it "tasted bad"
Well too bad, I made her stay at the table for two hours until she finished the whole damn bowl.

>>14936775
vegetables

>>14939257

have you tried hitting her?

>>14939257
don't cut yourself on all that edge, you fucking doormat

>>14939257
UHH HELLO
BASED DEPARTMENT?

>>14939257
U ok?

>>14937672
>29 year old virgin
me too, bro

>>14938283
>70% her and 30% her
So you don't do shit?

>>14939292

How is this even remotely possible?

>>14939292
got you beat by 7 years

>>14936775
Ratatouille is fucking awesome and traditionally vegan (although not the right season atm). Curries are your next best bet. Cauliflower curry is amazing, dal bhat actually one of my favorite meals. Just don't do any "meat substitution" shit, where you take a meat recipe and replace the meat with tofu or something. That never tastes good.

>>14939338
it only gets harder once you get older

>>14936775
don't make tofu curry, just make lentil curry. learn some asian food.
>>14937764
normal people don't even cook and are fucking morons. my parents raised me cooking around the protein and just picking sides to round the meal out. my mom would also say that the meal needs color and pick sides around that too. if you're fixing a plate and you didn't grab some veggies she would yell at you. the us government has switched to the myplate system because this should be easy enough for even an idiot to figure out.

>>14939426

How did you not as an early 20s? Are you hideous, autistic, dont party or have fun, all of the above?

>>14937672
35. I'm convinced that if I could land a couple dates with the same girl and actually get a chance to cook then my pasta would basically seal it.

>>14939696

If youre 35 and have no idea how to operate a vagina or the annoying thing its attached to.. just be a monk or something

>>14939426
>falling for the bait
anon pls

>>14936276
Life is interesting. This story right here could go two ways. One, this is what actually happened, both people feel awkward even though they fucked a bunch of times and shared what should have been a really personal and intimate moment. Second, this story would be the beginning of a love story told to their future children.

The question is, why did the first one happen and not the second. There was enough intimacy for them to fuck, share a meal, spend the night, but not enough to feel a deeper connection and a second date?

>>14939598
Not him, but I lost pretty much that whole decade to depression.

>>14939704
No. Worst case scenario I'll retire to some SE Asian country and just buy a wife, but in the mean time I'm going to try for a white one here.

>having to put in this much effort for a hole that won't put in any effort

>>14936192
made my gf blueberry pancakes this morning like usual. Wasn't really an attempt to impress her, but she always appreciates it

>>14938312
jfc

>>14939849

Sometimes people like doing nice things for others. Feeding people is a visceral satisfaction second only to feeding a woman your cock

>>14939224
you type like a faggot and sound like a faggot

>>14939734
great post

>>14939849
based incel

>>14939734
Because women are fickle children and despite the fact that at 22 she is rapidly approaching her expiration date she still wants to fuck around and get pumped by randos for a few more years. That's literally the explanation. Anon set his shit up perfectly for his tinder whore to see what he had and she took part in it and left because she was too addicted to the modern female's degenerate lifestyle.
Thank you for reading my blog.

>>14937672
22 year old virgin here.
You already knew it was over at my age right?
I'm pretty sure it's over for me.

I made my mrs a papardelle ragu followed by a classic cheesecake. I was a student at the time and only had shitty flat ikea plates and cereal bowls. Went out and bought two large fancy pasta bowls for like £8 each.

3 years later she moves in and says I should get rid of those stupid bowls she never liked.

feels bad bros

>>14939927

that's not even remotely true for that scenario

>>14936192
Made some Taggily tally from scrafch for someone with a duck and chorizo ragu.

We fucked of course, but we are dating anyway so thats a given.

>>14940011
Don’t try to reason with incels. They have no experience of real world or women but still think they havw them all figured out.