/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14879327
Jews? On my 4chan?

>>14879479

reddit.com/r/4chan

>>14879479
More likely than you think.
Click here for a free* Jew check.

As a kid I always wondered what they tasted like. But then again I was a fat kid.

What's this?

>>14880498
Etrog
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etrog

>>14879846
They are a little sweet, and make great jellies or alcoholic drinks.

>>14879327

Oh vey

>>14879479
You might learn some good recipes.

>>14879327
for crazy chassidim it is waaaay more about having the perfect shaped lemon thatn to have a huge one lol

>>14881269
It's not a lemon. It's an etrog. Hassidim also believe that if the wife bites the pitum (tip) off then she will have a boy in the next year. It's considered a segula.

>>14881283
lol, hassidim always crack me up
biting the chupchic of a fucking fruit for a boy
riding for a grill

worse than frenkim in believing such shit sometimes

>>14881287
https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/biting-the-pitum-on-hoshana-rabbah
>lol, hassidim always crack me up
Try having about half of your family in that lifestyle (Breslov, so at least they're the chill hassidim).

I grew up dati but am more aligned with masorti in my beliefs, but that side of the family never fails to disappoint with things at times.

>>14880784
What's wrong?

>>14881246
Mine always come out burnt

>>14881296
na na nachman? or not the crazy ones
yeah, lucky not to be gur or satmer, otherwise if you touch your bulbul... gotta get that hormone therapy lol

the only good thing about (being) litaim is that they dropped a lot of that shit the hassidim do.
still way too crazy
being hiloni I am quite surprised the family doesnt completely ignore me

>>14881405
>na na nachman? or not the crazy ones
The younger are closer to the na nach way, and the older are closer to the traditional breslov way.
>yeah, lucky not to be gur or satmer, otherwise if you touch your bulbul... gotta get that hormone therapy lol
Yeah those groups have special underwear for tikkun habrit. It's just crazy, honestly.
>the only good thing about (being) litaim is that they dropped a lot of that shit the hassidim do.
yeah but the litvaks have their own brand of crazy. Reminds me of a joke:
Q: What's a litvak's favorite day of the year?
A: Tisha B'Av
>being hiloni I am quite surprised the family doesnt completely ignore me
Tell them you're interesting in a chabadnik and watch how fast things change. A cousin of mine went OTD, and they stayed in contact with her and never treated her different. She went to NYC for grad school and started attending functions at Chabad and dating a guy she met there. The response was honestly insane: "Better to marry a reform goy than a chabadnik."
All in all, like I said, the whole thing with them always makes me laugh.

>>14879327
Last place I would have expected this lol

r8 my esrog /ck/

That’s what we call Jewish humor. You don’t have to understand it ’cause the words sound funny. Meshuggeneh! Hilarious!

>>14881551
is it etrog or esrog, yall got me confuged

>>14881453
Chabad - the people that are closest to judaism while not being jews.
And funnily enough here in Germany everything orthodox (and they really love to avoid calling chabad dosim/haredim/ultraorthodox) chabad seems to be the only institution being trusted with anything religious.
Never understood the intrajewish beef and hate, especially litaim vs hassidim vs mizrachim

Just dont behave like an ars or chachach.

But then as long as I am not forced to eat gefilte fish idgaf lol

>>14881551
Just want to add it is 100% homegrown with no pesticides. The local rabbi inspected all four of our trees before giving the okay. We donated the esrogim to the shul to help those struggling financially. It's finally the first year (after about three years of growing) that we could use them.

>>14881645
Same-same. In hebrew there are two different pronunciations: Ivrit vs Ivris. It depends on one's background/mesorah.

>>14879479
Gooks and Chinks hang around Jews...who'd have thunk they wouldn't be here grifting?

>>14881287
>>14881296
>>14881405
>>14881453
>>14881647
My god literally what the fuck are you people even saying

>>14881647
>hating on gefilte-fish
Come on man. Not cool. Gefilte fish is a great snack

>>14881647
>Chabad - the people that are closest to judaism while not being jews.
kek you really want to trigger them? Just say "the VERY DEAD Rebbe." It pisses them off to no end.
>Never understood the intrajewish beef and hate, especially litaim vs hassidim vs mizrachim
Hassidim have introduced too many humrot (חומרות) that they profess as halacha. Moreover there are definitely some aspects of mesorah that they profess to be codified in the shulchan aruch (hint:they're not) and you get this interfaction beef between them all. One small example is kosher meat. In the US all kosher meat _needs_ to be glatt kosher (חומרות) or else many will consider treyf. The OU has caved to the demands of hassidim on this and thus almost anyone that can "halachically" shect an animal is a chabadnik.

Moreover you have restaurant kashrus issues, where a restaurant may have upwards of a minyan of inspectors. Then there are issues of "cooking" or "bug inspection." The entire thing is a complete racket.

Don't even get me going on "glatt kosher chicken" or how apparently the rabbinute hechsher is treyf. It's all politics with a heaping dose of nonsense.

>>14879479
98% of/pol/ is jews.

>>14881749
>Gefilte fish is a great snack
How much sugar do you regularly consume?
Chraime /ck/ rise up!

>>14881749
Never liked it.
For sweets ashkenazi cuisine, for hearty dishes mizrachi, but not the other way around. (mazebreit is ok, too)
Am not a big fan of jewish melting pot cuisine in general though.

>>14881768
>for hearty dishes mizrachi
hamin >>>>>>>>>>> cholent

>>14881767
I admit Chariime is superior, but why not have both?

>>14881793
>I admit Chariime is superior, but why not have both?
If it is real gefilte fish (i.e. the fish is stuffed back into its skin) and not too sweet, then okay. But the jarred and loaf stuff is a complete monstrosity!

>>14879479
I'm a Jew but I don't get to control the world and have infinite wealth and shit. This sucks!

>>14879327
that's a big olive.

>>14881911
typical lying jew

>>14880724
>autism

>>14881911
Just join Hollywood and say you’re a jew. Instant success

>>14881996
>>>/pol/ There is much more to our culture than that.

>>14879479
We're everywhere! We even have secret symbols on most of your food you buy from the grocery store.
muhahahaha

>>14881749
>Gefilte fish is a great snack
It's good in a sandwich between two challah slices! pic related.

>>14881246

>wandering jew has 0 cultural heritage that isn't stolen
all so called jewish recipes stolen from others
co-opted and essence and soul replaced by mah kosher memes

so no thanks

>>14881732

wouldnt it work as a candied fruit? after all, its a citron, thats found in candy fruit used in fruitcake. one with citron only might be really nice, with the sharp lemony flavor.

>>14883772
That toasted Challah looks smexy

>>14882199
like drinking infant blood?

>>14879327
AIPAC is a hostile foreign agency undermining the sovereignty of America.

Google the kalergi plan and the lavon affair.

I wish I could gas this thread

>>14881921
For jew

>>14885938
>sperging out about some Swedish literal who opinion

>>14881404
Heh

>>14881732
Seriously, this secret club bullshit is half of why everyone hates them

Jews are natural hypocrites

>>14886178
>oh noooo I can't understand that language reeeeeeeeeee

>>14881732
>>14884930
>>14886178
Nothing stopping you from looking up the meaning of the words you don't know.
Have a corned beef sandwich with some potato salad and relax, anon.

>>14886178
>>14886357
>gets kicked out of over a hundred countries
>develops an autistic pidgin language comprised of every language they had to learn

>>14879327
Can you believe the ADL? The nerve of that nasty Zionist greenblat threatening the whole country because they didn't want circumcision in their country.

News flash, it ISN'T YOUR COUNTRY. This is why antisemitism exists. Your behaviour.

>>14886459
>hey look at that minority! Sure would be a heck of a scapegoat if the peoples goes unhappy, we could even seize their possessions lol

>>14886583
>it ISN'T YOUR COUNTRY.
Neither is it solely yours!

>>14880724
>>14881269
>>14881283
>>14881287
>>14881296
>>14881405
>>14881453
>>14881647
>>14881756
>>14881810
>>14883277
>>14883772

>>14886736
>it's afraid

>>14879327

Wait people eat etrog?

>>14881732
I'm reform jewish and I have really no idea either.

Ultra orthodox jews are insular and bigoted and believe gentiles are unclean to interact with socially and they try to basically create social worlds entirely consisting of other jews founded by dead charismatic rabbis from Europe. They don't participate in the secular legal system much and gay people are oppressed and sexual misconduct is ignored/covered up.

>>14881756
i mean they all worship dead rabbis.

religion is lying to people to brainwash them. I look forward to when we can move past it.

>>14886734
Israel isn't solely for the Jews either. It will be shared with native Palestinian people.

>>14887020
Yes, but usually in a jelly or alcoholic beverage. You just need to trust that the grower didn't spray a lot of pesticide on them.

>>14880784
nu?

>>14887028
>white ppl screech at jews for bladdifying them while screeching at jews to bladda

>>14886589
>m-my possesions!
>N-NO DONT KICK ME LET ME RAPE CHILDREN NO NO NO NO!

>>14886454
t.immediately assmad Judajin
k lol

>>14888903
Its yudayajin, tomodachi.

>>14883277
jewish jobs program

>>14888903
>>14889087
What are you two trying to say?

>>14889087
Nani?
>>14889557
¿Que?

>>14881647
Because their messiah the rebbe was a charlatan

Fuck off kikes

>>14881246
Like blood ?

>>14884967
>wouldnt it work as a candied fruit? after all, its a citron, thats found in candy fruit used in fruitcake. one with citron only might be really nice, with the sharp lemony flavor.
that's one of the traditional ways to consume it, candied or jellied or made into liquor. it's supposed to be good for childbirth

>>14879327
How do I best blend the blood of virgin goyim into my matzah? Every time I try it doesn't quite work. Oy vey, i'm afraid these filthy chattel goyim will realize what's happening if I abduct too many of their first borns.

>>14879327

>>14887607
>the jew cries out in pain as he strikes you
Can't fool me, chaim

Anyone else looking forward to Hanukah?
I miss playing with matchsticks and candles, while eating some tasty fried donuts and enjoying the start of the rainy season.

>>14890759
FUCKING KIKE HOLOHOAX PROPAGANDA

>>14891148
its hard to make good donuts, im working on it but i havent mastered them

>>14890679
you have to use the blood only of unbaptized virgin goyish kids or it wont taste right

>>14891188
Making Sufganiot doesn't seem too hard to me, all you need is a non-shitty mixer.
Well you've got plenty of time to get them right.

>>14879327
jewish wine, manachevitz or however the fuck you spell it, is unironically delicious

>>14881551
what the heck is this?

>>14891246
Tefilin, is some weird shit orthodox Jews do to pray because a prayer says "bind them as a sign upon your hands, let them be a symbol before your eyes"

>>14891226
I haven't gotten great results, they taste ok but they aren't fluffy and light how I would want them

>>14891148
I just hope COVID goes away, so we can finally have our community back. I miss going to shul, and seeing everyone.

>>14891297
>a prayer
That is THE PRAYER of our faith: the Shema.

>>14891297
>Tefilin, is some weird shit orthodox Jews do
Nothing weird about tefillin. I like to start my day with some S&M (shacharit and mitzvot).

>>14891246
>what the heck is this?
my etrog

>>14879327
Can I apply for a tax free Jewish loan if my father was Jewish but my mother was an Irish shiksa? I don't want to pay goyim rates.

I live in Australia.

>>14892008
I got a rainbow mezuzah (I'm a gay Jew) and put it on the wrong side of my door (accidentally). My mom asked me to put one up.

>>14892061
>I got a rainbow mezuzah
I think you mean mezuzah case. The actual scroll inside is the mezuzah.
>I'm a gay Jew
Okay?
>My mom asked me to put one up.
You have a good mom! It's important to have a mezuzah.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitzvah_goreret_mitzvah

>>14892079
yes sorry the case has a rainbow colored glass design

I'm not religious I believe religion is an oppressive human construct that causes immense pain for gay people and that all religious works are written entirely by humans and have no more power than any other words

I'm openly gay and I've heard stories about other gay Jews who married other men and their families didn't show up to the wedding. I think religion is mostly toxic but I like the food and singing. I know all this is lost on you because you are totally brainwashed but its worth saying nonetheless.

I guess if I could have found a mezuzah with a rainbow colored scroll or lettering inside that would have been nice as well but I will take what i can get.

>>14892092
>I know all this is lost on you because you are totally brainwashed but its worth saying nonetheless.
Why would you think that? I grew up in an Orthodox home, but now practice Conservative Judaism. It's not my place to judge a fellow Jew. We all have our own path. I hope yours is a happy and fulfilling one.

>>14892061
>My mom asked me to put one up
Go hug your mom, anon. Wish mine was that good to me. Don't get me wrong, she did the best she could do during shit like bemuzzah and chavzeh but so I still love her.

There was always some confusion when we got Meshidvah (היי אמנה) around late spring/early summer but we usually brushed it off lol. Gebbeh/Tel'chaim and mestizim (or bad'zimah if you're like me) Just last year we went out and ran around NYC for a day and she didn't complain a single time. Could've sworn hisbillah was anytime but cha'irme zeldeh lol.

>>14892102
You are enabling a religion that is openly hostile to gays so you are my enemy. "conservative" is a euphemism for that gays are something you won't tolerate.

>>14892138
I have no fucking idea what any of that means. Stop harassing gay people.

>>14892158
>You are enabling a religion that is openly hostile to gays so you are my enemy. "conservative" is a euphemism for that gays are something you won't tolerate.
Conservative/Masorti Judaism does not discriminate against gays at all.
https://www.hrc.org/resources/stances-of-faiths-on-lgbt-issues-conservative-judaism

>>14892158
>it's a /pol/pet didn't study his Judaism before making b8 posts episode

Does anyone know if milah done by laser is a thing?
I know that I'd still need to be bleeded by a Rabbi during conversion, but I want as unbotched bris as possible because I like having a healthy penor.

>>14892217
More than likely you'll be sent to a doctor to have it done in the office. Then once it is healed your rabbi will poke it with a pin to draw a drop of blood. It's way safer that way for a grown man. Shlomi the mohel is not going to snip you like he would an infant.

>>14892208
this

>>14892217
>Does anyone know if milah done by laser is a thing?
Ask your rabbi.

>>14892217
My son didn't walk until a year after his bris.