/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14811863
this guy >>14807240

$15 is a lot for eggs and pancakes.
That's an $8 meal at most.

For me, it’s the anon in the other thread who brings wine to restaurants as a “condiment” and dips things in it to avoid corkage fees.

>>14811879
maybe at denny's
eggs and a waffle is $10 at wafflehouse

>>14811880
>>14800739

>>14811863
You need to do a friend inventory. Drop the bottom 20% and 80% of your problems will vanish in an almost astounding manner.

>>14811889
Or you could just man up, tell them you are not paying "corkage" and that if they insist or if the food quality is substandard as a result you are prepared to leave. If they call your bluff, do so and walk out.

Restaurants today are in a panic, and will very likely not make a fuss about it.

>>14811863
One time in this quaint diner/family restaurant sort of place I went into the bathroom and from the stalls I heard the loudest, most violent coughing I think I've ever heard. It was sound loud and violent-sounding that I don't think the average person could possibly replicate it if they tried and they'd probably hurt their throat attempting it. The weird thing was that I didn't hear it the other times I went to the bathroom while I was there and I didn't hear it coming from anywhere else in the restaurant when I was eating there.

>>14811941
>I went to the bathroom and heard a cough
great story bro

>>14811880
Kek. Nice reaction image bruh.

>>14811941
Skinwalker bro. You're lucky to be alive.

>>14811941
I asked for autistic things in a restaurant, not in this thread

I went to a decently nice restaurant with my friend/roommate and some other people. He gets his alfredo or whatever, takes one bite, throws his napkin in it, says "it's shit" and refuses to keep eating. The waiter immediately rushes over and apologizes, offers a free replacement meal from anything on the menu, and the guy declines. He just went hungry, and then bitched at us about how hungry he was.

Shouldn't surprise me, this is a dude I caught throwing away a full box of clothing he ordered with the tags on it because he decided he didn't like the material. I had to stop him and at least take the whole box down to Salvation Army.

>>14812319
Is he OCD? He sounds OCD

>>14812319
Thanks for the donation, Sarmatian army can always use clothing for the needy

>>14812319
why the fuck is he still your friend/roommate? he sounds like an insufferable stain.

Saw a kid wander into the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant and leave with an egg

>>14812522
kek I can just picture typical mexican line cook just staring at the idiot staring back at him, looking around, handing him an egg and pushing him off, kid comes back feeling accomplished

>>14811941
They were probably puking, anon

>>14812367
I'm pretty sure he's close. Dude cleans a lot.

>>14812422
Nah, everything else about him is chill. He cleans the house, pays rent on time, is quiet, and stays out of my space. Plus we have a good time hanging out.

>>14811884
no the fuck it's not

>>14811863
White older women at any mexican place and they order something "spicy" aka it has red sauce on top

>>14811894
Went too far and cut contact with everybody. What do?

>>14812645
Mexican food is generally not spicy. Sure, there are jalapenos in salsa, but not in the food itself.

>>14812776
That's why it's autistic when white women complain about shit being hot because a green pepper or onion is visable

>>14812776
agreed, gotta ask them for hot sauce specifically, not just salsa. usually seems like it's made in house considering it's almost never the same wherever I get it locally even when all the restaurants are almost cookie-cutter. the taco trucks have awesome hot sauce too, gotta ask for it if it's not on the bench under the window

>>14812743
Enjoy sanity

>>14811884
waffle house to go menu from near me. for $10 you're eating steak and eggs for breakfast. a hole in the wall diner ought to be cheaper still.

>>14813333
Yeah, there's a dirty diner I used to go to a lot where 2 eggs, pan fries, toast, and sausages or ham was $3 total, and you could add pancakes for $2 extra. Mind you, those prices are in leafdollars, so that's $3.75 for breakfast with pancakes in real dollars.

>>14812922
>awesome hot sauce
Prob just Tapatio or Valentina my dude. But yeah they're good sauces.

>>14812205
Based /x/chad.

>>14811863
>refuses to eat non-breakfast foods before 12pm
BASED AS FUCK.

>go to diner
>seated at window
>look outside and watch teenage autist grab two giant fistfuls of his mother's hair and not let go for over a minute
>realize that woman's life has been over since he was born
>enjoy my hungover brunch

i saw some lefty faggot browsing /ck/ in a denny's once. i waited for him to to leave the dining establishment and when he was getting into his kia rio i raped his ass at knife point

>>14813504
>starlight
Bastedo

not me, but my wife will ask waiters to put everything in bowls or on separate plates, because she doesnt want her food to touch each other

>>14813690
That turned

>>14811880
Still utterly floored by that

>>14812522
kek

>>14812743
Heh me too, It's fucking great. "yeah I'm a insert political candidate supporter" bye

>>14811889
thank you for linking this, it was very amusing

>>14814160
>yeah I'm a insert political candidate supporter" bye
my group of friends are actually mature adults. We don't stop being friends with one another because of who we may vote for.

>>14811863
>Move into new place at the outer edge of the 'burbs
>Take a walk after moving everything in and returning the truck (at like 3am) to check what's close, see if there's anywhere to get food the next day, that kinda thing.
>There's a bar opening up that day... Alright! I'll get some buddies over to help me get some furniture in place, pay them with wings and beer.
>One dude I've lived with off and on for most of my adult life brings his new roommate/my replacement, "Potatohead". Seems chill enough... a bit lazy, but whatever, get him on smaller things while the rest of us haul the bigger stuff for an hour.
>Miller-time. Roll over to the pub. Double-staffed for training purposes, low customer count, we're getting amazing service.
>Just do a mass order of wings - a bunch of hot, a bunch of mild, a handful of their hottest, and a pitcher each of Kilkenny, Harp and Budweiser.
>Potatohead pours himself a Kilkenny... obviously new to nitro/beergassed beers. Whatever, he's drinking it quickly enough. Hey, Mikey, I think he likes it... then he takes a bite of one of the xenocide wings...
>"THIS PLACE IS FUCKING SHIT! THEIR BEER'S FUCKING FLAT, AND THEIR WINGS MAKE MY FUCKING FACE BURN!" Storms out...
>We finish, because FTGamirite? Find him hitting a bong on the porch like he's trying to overdose, and writing bad reviews on yelp - I don't even know if he got the right place, it just seemed to be for Irish-y pubs in general.
>My hetero lifemate's renting a room from me three months later. Apparently that experience at the bar ruined Potatohead for all of mankind.

one time i was really out of it and walked into a columbian restaurant with a friend and the dude behind the counter was being really nice and asking me what i wanted and i said "i dont know, i dont really like hispanic food". probably the dumbest thing ive ever done in public

>>14813690
LOL KEK based

If there is a line of more than 2 people my dad refuses to eat anywhere. He'd rather drag the entire family out for a nice weekend meal to the closest store and buy three hotdogs.

>>14811863
>Provide smaller, narrower and less cushioned seats to the males
>Taller, wider, cushier seats for females

>>14815682
Girls need support for their bountiful brappers lest they shrivel up before the third course.

I dip my napkin in my water and use it to quickly clean my mouth amd fingers so that I don't have to go to the bathroom to do it. Never at any more upscale than a bar & grill or chinese place. I know its some caveman pigboy shit and I never see anyone else do it, but no body has ever been seemed to be put off by it

>>14814310
Sounds pretty autistic alright.

>>14813910
marrying children is a crime

>>14815695
At fine dining they can bring you water with lemon wedge for cleansing automatically before a meal, depends on place.

>>14811863
>16 year old
>waiting tables
>older couple
>frowning and looking pissed off as they are seated
>approach table
>they shout their drink orders at me before I can get a word out
>"ICED TEA!"
>"MUG COFFEE!"
>Bring drinks
>take their order
>being as kind as possible
>bring food
>old man says "IT'S HOT OUT THERE TODAY"
>"Yes it sure is. Can I get you anything else?"
>"I'VE BEEN WORKING ALL DAY IN TGE HEAT!"
>okay I guess he wants to make small talk now?
>"Oh what do you do for work"
>He yells angrily "I'M A TRUCK DRIVER!"
>His wife yells "HE'S A TRUCK DRIVER!"
>They both look at me like they want to murder me
>Other customers staring from across the restaurant
>feeling very awkward
>not sure what I did to piss them off
>they leave no tip
>tell my boss what a great waiter I am on their way out
Fuck old people

>>14811863
If there's water on my plate or spoon I refuse to touch it and I'll ask for a dry version. Anyone else like this?

Not autistic, but kinda funny, when I was about 4 years old we went out for breakfast with my grandpa and when the waitress asked me what I wanted I ordered "two eggs, any style" because thats what the menu had said. I don't remember it so I feel no shame.

>>14815922
idunno they sound pretty based

>>14815757
True, although what I do is use it clean myself after a meal. I'm also very autistic about textures and stuff on my fingers so I like to keep them at least cleaned off with water when possible. Its the fact that I use my own drinking water that is kinda gross I think

>>14811941

Probably a post meal bulimic purge.

>>14816033
Naw bulimics try to stay as quiet and unnoticed as possible, sounds more like a bad hangover

>>14814175
>Actually
>May

When you finish swallowing loads do you wait to wipe the excess off? Shitty adverbs. There’s nothing impressive about what you said. Most people are like this.

>>14811863
I had an autistic waiter who kept staring at me but never looked at my wife. When I’d move the waiter would snap and say “what was that for” and when I’d explain it was nothing she’d giggle and smile. Idk if she liked me or was straight autistic. I had her one other time and ended up walking out the restaurant when turns out she never put our order in for food. Retards need to have a sticker on them

>>14813910
That would annoy me

>>14813401
>Tapatio or Valentina
two of the worst hot sauces, try Frank's or chipotle tabasco. Or pic related for a non vinegar based hot sauce

>>14816366
>Frank's
Aight den nigga

>>14816366
>suggesting Frank's while calling Tapatío and Valentina bad
Fuck off

>>14816530
deal with it, Tapatío and Valentina try to mask their shitty flavor with even shittier spices. Frank's is basic but its good when used appropriately like on a eggs

>>14811863
>go to restaraunt
>not confident in knife and fork skills
>eating around people makes me nervous
>refuse to eat anything
>keep head down for the entire meal

>drinking scotch
>bug flies into it
>spend at least 5 mins wondering if I should drink it
>anxious
>finally decide to ask for another

>>14812606
>cleans
>pays rent
>quiet
>keeps to himself

Jesus, wife that asshole.

>>14811863
>OP's friend reasonably expects a fair price
>OP spergs out about it
Sounds like you're the autistic one

A few years ago, on my way home from work I stopped at a brewpub near my house for a burger and a few beers. Girl sitting next to me starts going on and on about how she's autistic, and naming every fellow sperg under the sun. Humor her, but when my food comes say "Look, I'm happy to talk to you but let's change the subject." She loses her shit and screams "I'M NOT HITTING ON YOU!" Said, look, I didn't think you were, I just have no interest in talking about autism. She emits an unholy shriek, jumps up knocking her chair over, and locks herself in the bathroom. Said to the bartender, look, you fucks couldn't have helped me out here? Apparently, this was a common occurrence.

>>14815922
apparently old people do this a lot, my old roomie had many stories

>>14819070
Huh, that’s literally autistic.
>>14819081
Share

>>14816366
What's their black reserve good for? I got a bottle from someone and it's got a pretty hefty flavor to it.

>>14811863
>out eating breakfast with my gfs family in upstate NH
>mom and pop diner breakfast place
>my gfs stepmom orders 2 different types of juices, water, and coffee
>orders some breakfast platter
>wants “hashbrowns on the side in a plastic container.”
>her dad says something about her being Puerto Rican and tells her to just eat like a normal person
>food comes out normally
>she loses her shit and almost walks out of restaurant
>because they wouldn’t put her potatoes in a plastic container

>>14816530
Frank's fucking sucks and you're a retard

>>14815922
They were poor and half deaf

>>14816366
>frank and tabasco
You're obviously trolling but I'll suggest Melinda's as a broadly available brand with some decent quality standards. Mrs renfros for salsa.

>at local korean chicken place with friend
>order their spiciest marinated chicken because im curious
>dont take into consideration its an actual korean place ran by koreans that barely speak english
>inhale my chicken at mach 5, not feeling any burning
>halfway through my chicken, i start feeling it
>oh god i need water
>dont notice friend has poured a large glass of soju for both of us, think its water
>chug it, dont notice its alcohol until i finish the glass because my mouth is a fire tornado
>get absolutely blasted off the soju i drank while I wait for friend to finish
>fall over onto counter and knock register over when I go to pay
still go back there nearly every weekend, I cant find anywhere that makes chicken like that
pic related, the chicken

When I was about 6-7 I had terrible constipation to the point where I had to go to the doctor and they had to stick a thing up my ass. One day my family met up with some friends at a very crowded restaurant and my mom said something about going to the doctor, in which the restaurant went silent as I loudly say "ARE THEY GONNA STICK THAT THING UP MY BUTT AGAIN"? Our friends didn't know about my condition and neither did the rest of the restaurant so you can expect that we got some looks from everyone.

>>14819439
My 4’11 125 pound wife can drink an entire bottle of soju and it doesn’t faze her. How’d you become such a faggot?

>>14819484
Is your wife an alcoholic? A whole bottle of soju would knock my ass out.
t. 6'3 145lbs

My friend who I no longer talk too would seriously add a good extra cup of sugar to the tea and soda he drank. He would get bigby sweet ice tea maybe 3 times a day. As you can expect he was fat as fuck. The soda part was the worst. Even shit like sprite he said wasn't sweet enough.

>>14819493
>145lbs
What the fuck skeletor? How are you even able to walk?

>>14819529
Im not that much of a skeleton per se. Been skinny my whole life but can demolish an 18" pizza when i feel like it

>>14813333
>hole in the wall independent resto
>cheaper
Naw

>>14811863
>$15 for breakfast
If your breakfast place isn't charging 10-12 for all meats, three eggs, potatoes, toast, fruit and 2 dinner plate sized pancakes then you're at an expensive breakfast place.

>high school
>decide to go to burger king to get stoned as fuck in the parking lot
>go inside and get amazing idea
>we take our food in the play place to eat
>my friend starts running around the play place chasing us and we’re all screaming at the top of our lungs
>said friend was applying to that burger king and made his girlfriend fill out the application for him
>other friend is standing on a table thrusting his dick at cars in the drive-thru
our other burnout friends worked there so we never got kicked out.

>>14811889
This is so fucking retarded. Wow. Imagine seeing this at any establishment, working or patron. Yikes

>>14817523
>Frank's
>Good
Pick one, just puree a chilly pepper with two cups of white vinegar and it would taste about the same.

>>14811863
>MAN THIS PLACE IS REALLY GOOD, BUT SO EXPENSIVE
Fucking hell I have some friends that are completely reasonable in all other things but as soon as they see anything higher than mcdonald's prices at a diner or whatever they start bitching. They become petulant children and even whine in front of the servers. No concept of decorum. Once I had to just say "well if it bothers you so much should we just get fast-food?"
Again, great and respectful people in all other contexts, but for some reason paying more than fast food prices for decent food makes them mad.

>>14815695
Pretty sure they used to do that in super high class aristocrat dining mate

>>14819439
>standard "spicy" red sugar yangnyeom sauce
>can't stand after the equivalent of 2 beers
It's certainly autistic but i bet those koreans appreciated your deep understanding of their culture

He's right, independent diners around here will serve you a breakfast special for $4, pancakes will bring that to maybe $5 or $6

>>14811863
i would dine and dash if my check came back 15 fucking dollars for a couple pancakes and 4 strips of bacon

>>14819890
Lol, no you wouldn't, tough guy.

>>14819540
you're skinny fat

>>14819895
you're right, i'd look at the menu where the prices are listed and go somewhere else to eat. faggot

>>14819813
idk man
chicken was good and the soju was good
aint into no kpop zoomer whatever culture they have, just know they make good chicken
simple as

>>14812205
why would an evil native american witch be coughing in a diner

>>14819008
yup

>>14819106
i used it in my chili and it added a nice smoky flavor which impressed me because smoky flavors are easy to make overpowering.

>>14819398
the Chipotle Tabasco is a entirely different beast, it's not very hot but has a ton of flavor but tastes nothing like regular Tabasco. Also i have never seen the brands you mention anywhere in the south east

>>14819562
you just have to order right and avoid the pricey stuff like steaks

>>14819609
yea thats the point, vinegar is a flavor enhancer so is salt and chili peppers. If you use it as a flavor enhancer instead of drowning you food in it like it's some kind of glaze you wouldn't hate it. If you want more heat then get a different sauce, not everything tastes better when it's spicy as fuck, like a few drops of Frank's on a omelette picks up the flavor because i'm trying to taste omelette not make the omelette taste like hot sauce

>>14819008
what I wouldn't do to get 3" into that otaku bussy

>>14819484
>125 at 4'11
damn homie u got a little big bitch

>>14819540
Can we hold hands please?

>>14816366
yucateco is amazing for what it is. God bless that sauce.

>>14819493
jesus you're like a crack head that decided to take up meth as a side bitch.

t. 5'11" 119 lbs and HATE IT

My dad is a 50/50 chance to be a pissy little bitch when we go out to eat. He gets mad over bullshit that you shouldn't get mad over and is really picky about his food.
>be on family beach trip a few years ago
>we usually cook our own food all week and plan the meals and everything out in detail in advance
>inevitably my dad decides on random mornings that he absolutely MUST go out somewhere for breakfast
>picks some shitty restaurant because he has bad taste and poor sense of what will be good or bad
>orders an omlette
>it's not good enough for him for one reason or another
>complains to the waitress
>says he's not paying, his meal was awful
>pulls a "LET'S GO EVERYONE!" and stands up to walk away
>gets mad at all of us because we say no, we're eating our breakfasts
>tells us all we're fucking assholes and are hanging him out to dry
>leaves and "commands" us not to pay
>mom is embarrassed, apologizes to the staff, pays for the meal

It's not the only time he's done that sort of shit either.

>>14820404
It is shitty social-cucking your dad, but kek sounds like he was being an ass

>>14818761
Knife and fork skills are overrated, man. Stab it and chomp, let your true man shine through.
Also, bugs are protein and alcohol is a sanitizer. All good to drink

>>14811863
Bro at my local coney you can get eggs, bacon, and pancakes for 3.99...

>>14819981
you ain't kidding, this stuff is almost like a steak sauce, I love it

>>14819571
Haha, flyovers trying to dictate "expensive" prices for food

>>14812743
live a based fucking life

>>14819008
>>14819727
yea there's been some tards in this thread telling me the price was unreasonable, but my friend paid about 12.50 USD and was bitching about it. it's an ancient diner in a rural and poor town, you got what you paid for

>>14816048
>autism b8

>>14813333
I'm not murrican but do you really have to say "I want my hash browns smothered, covered, chunked and diced" or can you just say "I want it with cheese, ham, onions and tomatoes"?

I saw that cheesesteak video where they are super autistic about you having to say it a certain way or you won't get served so I want to be prepared for when I go in a few months

>>14812181
lol

>>14819070
lol

>>14820879
get fleeced faggot lmao

>>14819540
grotesque

>>14819439
kek that fucking hilarious

>>14819540
You should be 185lbs minimum bro go lift weights

>>14819070
I went to a chili's and sat at the bar. An austistic man came and sat next to me and then started yell talking to the waitress who he said was the best and the reason he comes to this chilis not the other one. He then asked me if chilis was different in phoenix like is it spicier. I left because of him and walked home. I was only there to kill time while my csr was being detailed. I heard him continuing to talk yell at the waitress he was infatuated with.

>>14811863
>nut who "refuses to eat non-breakfast foods before 12pm"

I live in Italy, so this is 99% of people I know.
"Anon, you know I can't eat eggs for breakfast"
WHY

>>14819439
Korean places often have really good fried chicken. Firm juicy inside, crispy skin/breading despite the flavored sauces, and good breading to meat ratios.
It's on the same tier as well-made southern fried chicken, but in a different direction. Southern fried chicken lends itself to a hearty, savory meal with a dairy-based gravy and more complex carbs. Whereas Korean fried chicken lends itself to beer and spicy, sweet, and tangy flavors.

Practically every time I fly back into JFK or take Amtrak back into Penn after business travel, I hit up some friends who work/live in the city for Bonchon near Penn. I never regret defaulting to it even though I often want to use the opportunity to try out other places.

>Uncle was supposed to come through and visit my mom/by proxy me
>Uncle fucking ghosted us, actually took the time to drive past our home because seeing other people not related to family was more important
>My mom being a fucknut of her own accord, did not take any of the well, considering she spent the whole day fixing up the house and she actually wanted to see her brother/his family.
>Dad, mom, and I all decide to walk down just across the street to a locally owned pub/hangout spot to get some fried food, maybe play pool, just to try to settle down from being stood up by family
>Mom decides to drink
>Mom becomes even more stupid over this shit
>Dad tries to distract himself and I by getting up to queue some songs in the jukebox
>Mom proceeds to talk shit about the family, and as usual was projecting her anger onto everyone else
>Mom tries to boss me around/be her foot slave whilst projecting said anger
>Tell mom to chill the fuck out and not talk to me disrespectfully
>Mom actually thinks it's a good idea to SPIT fucking ICE at my face
>Rightfully get pissed off
>Mom immediately makes herself to be the victim
>Mom is getting up and is trying to force us to leave
>Dad and I's songs didn't even come up on the jukebox yet, dad told her he wasn't going anywhere until he got his money's worth.
>Watch as my mom storms out of the pub to walk back to the apartments in the dead of night
>Later tell her off as she tries to make a half-assed apology to me, ended up getting yelled at again and told I'm somehow the piece of shit in all of it
>Cry to my dad as he half-assedly comforts me
Now I'm just pissed off and sad because nothing has really ever been normal.

>>14821289
that’s not autism that’s just being a shitty person, go back to your blog

>>14821289
your uncle and father seem based and redpilled at least

>>14821289
Sounds like your uncle did the right thing. After all, he knows your mom better than you do

>>14821058
I don't believe you do but I've only ever been to waffle house a dozen times in my life and ordered hash browns twice and felt like an idiot both times. the few times I've been to starbucks I'd just ask for a 20 oz.

>>14821058
You would love this hoodie that I have :^)

>>14821289
>>Cry to my dad
What are you, one of those tranny types I keep hearing about?

>>14821360
Fair enough, I guess it depends on who's serving you. If it's a corporate asshole they might pretend they don't know what you mean but a teenager on minimum wage probably isn't going to give a shit

>>14821363
What hoodie? That's just a picture of some text

>>14821371
No thankfully I'm a trad

>>14821354
>>14821343
My uncle is shallow and my dad manipulated me into helping him leave my mom, all under a guise of "waaah your mom abuses me"
Dumbass got "abused" because he smoked weed all day and never worked, all while treating me like a second class person. I had/have mom issues but at least my mom didn't literally run away from her issues.

>>14821384
>What hoodie? That's just a picture of some text
Fucking hell it took me longer than it should have

>>14819484
She's probably drinking weaker soju. The variance in ABV on soju is really wide.
Sub 20% ABV soju has become popular in the past decade, and 15~25% ABV is very popular in CA/NY due to liquor licensing exemptions. But you're typically looking at 30~40% ABV for non-diluted soju.
So you're looking at the equivalent of anywhere between 2 to 9 traditional beers worth of alcohol for the same volume (say 375ml). Your wife definitely isn't fine after downing a 6 pack's worth of alcohol in less than 30 minutes.

>>14819493
>>14819540
You in your young 20s? I was in a similar situation back then. I highly recommend getting into a routine for simple core exercises. You don't want to end up in the same situation I did where I started getting fatter while staying the same weight, and then slowly started to gain fatty weight as well. It's a pain in the ass and takes a lot of time+effort to get back into shape without getting fatter, and/or to lose the fat without getting even weaker.
Don't think that you'll make changes "when/if your metabolism slows down". The quip is bull. What happens is your lifestyle changes to become more sedentary, but your diet either doesn't change or gets worse. The shit creeps up on you while you're adjusting to the new lifestyle and you don't notice the effects until it's too late.
Half an hour, three times a week is enough. Three to five sets of sit ups, push ups, and squats. If you can find a way to do them, mix in pull ups, dips, and hyper-extensions as well. Dumbbell/Goblin squats are super easy to accommodate when you have space/equipment limitations.
Also it's definitely worth investing in simple hand-grip trainers. A stronger grip helps offset wrist weakness/pain. And hex dumbbells are a huge help for preventing wrist pain during push ups.

>>14819562
Well, if they're calling it an "independent resto" and not a fucking diner, then of course you're probably going to pay out the ass. Do they not have discount diners in your shitty ass flyover zone?

>>14812319
Why would anyone want to be his friend?

>>14813910
I had a female boss that was like that. and I knew a few other folks that were like that as well. all female.

>>14813910
I'm noticing this is a trend for people who get weight loss surgeries for portion control

>>14819469
kek. nobody burst out into laughter?

>>14820113
>little big bitch
kek

>>14821058
the cheese steak thing is about keeping the line moving because they get hit with a crazy lunch rush and a cheese steak is so simple it shouldn't take 5 min to decide if you want peppers and onions or not

>>14819439
where is this place?

>>14821166
probably just drunk and trying to start a conversation but you were to autistic to take the conversation anywhere interesting and somehow you blame him for that because you couldn't sit there awkwardly in silences at a bar which is known for being a social setting where you talk to new people.

>>14821289
femanon/10

>>14820364
So do something about it then.

>>14822123
I'm not one to usually say this but damn if this isn't projection: the post

>>14822175
who am i projecting as, the drunk or the autist?

>>14813333
Imagine going to Waffle House and not getting the All Star Special

>>14819070
do you say look before everything you say to someone

>>14822354
I like their patty melts. I'm all about their dollar menu. You can get a big bag of biscuits and stuff for like $8

>>14822445
while I'm on the subject I wish waffle house had a drive through. there's one in my neighborhood so I just call the order in and drive there and get the bag and walk out. it's the best

>>14811889
Thanks, fun thread

>>14819070
>>14822426
Really Anon, theres a "look" in 3 out of 3 of your sentences in that story of yours.

>>14822445
the * next to every mention of "egg" and "cheeseburger" has me curious, but mostly worried

>>14822620
here's an image with the footnotes

>>14822620
Not american? It's required by law to include that notice on menus here.

>>14813690
I noticed you. It wasn't rape. I came so hard

>>14811863
My mum is known locally as a compulsive animal savior. We went to a restaurant of his friend's, great food, great price, and we got dessert for free. Then her friend comes to out table to say hi, and jokingly tells my mum "hey we have this lobster that's still alive but not good for cooking in our aquarium, you want it?" and she actually accepts. So we reactivated our aquarium to keep this lobster. Fascinating animal, but didn't move much, probably never lived like a lobster is supposed to. You could give him your finger and he would gently keep it in his claw. Died after 7 months

>>14815695
Put your finger over the straw and drip it on to the napkin like a civilized potato would

>>14812319
"This shit's not al-dente, Johnny!"

>>14819070
Joe Biden get off 4chan

>>14822123
No, he walked in and talked loudly in a monotone voice at the waitress that he went there for. He was not drunk. Just autistic and lonely. I'm sure if I asked about dinosaurs or trains I would get to the subject he knows interesting things about but I wasn't in the mood to placate.

>>14822846
wtf, I thought those fuckers were supposed to live forever. They just don't because they get eaten

>>14823854
i agree it's best to not placate people, it just leads you down a rabbit hole of shit you didn't want to deal with in the first place

>>14823745
I suppose you'd have experiences if you got the fuck out of your mammy's basement.

>>14822426
Here's the deal. Shut the fuck up.

>>14811863
>go to random restaurant with friends
>sit down, waitress brings over glasses of water for everyone
>everyone except me can't find something they want to eat
>choose to leave
>they don't even want to leave a tip for wasting their time and giving us water
why don't filipinos tip? I was the only one that left like $5 to not be associated with them

>>14819493
Damn dude, that’s my height and I only got down that low when I was in the hospital hooked up to tubes with my stomach shut off for repairs>>14819504

>>14824449
>first of all, tipping at all
>secondly, tipping for only being served water
i think i kinda want to kill you with my bare hands

>>14818761
sorry about the abusive upbringing

>>14821415
Sounds like you take after mom. probably should just neck yourself.

>>14823871
They were almost assuredly not keeping it in proper conditions.

>>14819070
look, LISTEN HERE JACK I'M JUST TRYING TO EAT MYSELF.... EAT A BURGER.... EAT MYSELF A BURGER AND IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW YOU'RE RETARDED YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHUT THE HELL UP

>>14824503
>crying about tipping
out, jew

>>14824449
The real issue is that your "friends" are a bunch of picky faggots.

>>14824483
that's not even that bad lol, you just ate more food

>>14819529
You have no idea what you're talking about bro. 145 is not that fucking skinny at 6'3".
>t. 6'3" (was 125 Ibs senior year of highschool) 160 now

>>14822846
You guys should have jerked it off. There’s that YouTube video where a chick jerks them off right before cutting them in two to make it humane.

>>14824588
>lanklets uniting
Awww... they think they're human.

>>14816087
Creepy

>>14813690
based

>>14819070
Sounds like my sister.

>>14824560
yea salt water fish tanks are hard enough to keep functioning, add a full size lobster good luck

>>14824570
tipping is for suckers you must know a lot about it

>>14819484
She's FAT

>>14824588
>145 at 6'3" is not skinny
yes the fuck it is, i'm 5'10" and when i weighed 140lbs i was skin and bones, if i sucked my stomach in you could see my spine from the front. I looked like a meth victim

>>14816087
>Retards need to have a sticker on them
i laughed more then i should have at this

>>14821395
I have no idea what trad means. Forgive me and explain, anons.

>>14819469
lol

>>14824707
>slap a new scratch n sniff sticker on all the tard workers when their shift begins
>they enjoy the fun scents while being clearly marked for customers as defective
Honestly not such a bad idea. A lot like when they mark spoiled meat with managers special stickers.

>>14824723
traditional

>>14819070
Look, I don't have time to chat about that I need to get back write a story for 4channel, alright?

>>14821192
I always thought this was hilarious
What constitutes "breakfast food" varies wildly around the world
I remember watching Twister as a kid and being surprised people ate steak for breakfast

>>14821415
>waaaah your mom abuses me
bitch what the fuck you made an entire post about being abused by your mother, she spit in your, her daughter's face
>he treats me like a second class citizen
bet? the dude you went to for comfort?
I'm glad I'm gay, women are truly fucking nuts
Go fuck a dog

>>14822620
stops them from getting sued by a retard who orders blue rare or undercooked eggs and then gets sick from it

>>14811863

>be in Chinatown, London
>friends all go out to get some food (mainly dessert but some niggas got noodles)
>this fucker shows up late. I immediately sense the autism
>we're all ''street fashion'' weebs
>he's ''baggy jeans and practical trainers'' weeb
>he sits at the other end of the table. fine. i don't want to meet or deal with him.
>everyone's food was delayed for this faggot
>he's holding up my kakigori. bitch.
>he goes to order
>''ONE BEEF NOODLE. BEEEEEEF NOODLE. NO SPICY.''
>''yes sir''
>the waitresses speak perfect british english
>ok, cringe. but maybe he will learn?
>whatever, i have a gatcha to play
>food arrives
>mangokakikori.fuckyeah
>autist receives his food
>but before it can be placed in front of him...
>''NO SPICY???? I SAID NOOOOO. SPIIIIIIIIIICY.''
>''yes. this is your order sir.''
>''THANK YOU. GOOD TIP FOR YOU, YES!''

i fucking saw this guy a lot after that. he isn't allergic so it wasn't just some really insane attempt to ensure no allergens, he was just straight up being an autist

>>14812743
You think you did, but you were always everybody else's bottom 20%

>>14825865
You're both fucking autistic.

>>14815695
The napkin is supposed to be for cleaning up. Not sure why you need water.

>>14812522
based kid

>>14818761
Im not that bad, but I can relate to this

>>14824449
Only pretentious people trying to flaunt and USA idiots supporting a broken system tip. Everybody else expects to pay what the menu states.

>>14819070
look, maybe you shoulda just talked to the lady about autism

>>14825906
Hence the autism. Napkin alone isn't good enough for me

>>14825865
every one of these green texts make me think anon is the one with autism, sure the other person is a douche but no one cares except autists

>>14825933
>USA idiots supporting a broken system tip
It's a great system that works very well when it's not being taken advantage of by foreign autistic scumbags. Why on earth would you want to pay a flat rate for different qualities of service? I shouldn't have to pay for shitty service and wait staff busting their ass should get paid more then the lazy ass waiter that fucks up your order and brings your food out late.

One time when I tried ordering Chinese food I asked for a “poop” platter. The woman over the phone didn’t understand what I meant so I had to explain that pu pu platter sounded kind of like poop. She took the rest of my order with a disgusted tone and I never even picked it up because I was too embarrassed.

>>14811880
I'm positive that tard was trolling and not serious. If you open wine whether to dip appetizers or to drink im sure they'd charge corkage fee

>>14826217
Be honest, you wanted to eat her poop.

>>14826037
Why do you support a hungover, strung out whore fucking your order up but still paying 35% on top of your meal just to avoid being lynched socially?

>>14826424
because you'd be pay her regardless, either through a tip or you can pay a higher price so the employer can afford to pay the wait staff minimum wage which they don't currently make because it is assumed they will make it in tips.
At least with with tipping you get to choose how much they deserve , also what motivation does a waiter have to do a good job if they get paid regardless?

>>14811879
This. Fuck the Diner Jew.
A dozen eggs is less than a dollar. A dollar for a strip of bacon is fucking abhorrent. Breakfast is literally the cheapest sloppa you can make.

>>14812522
>Saw a kid wander into the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant and leave with an egg
That was his divining/cleansing egg por es madre.

>>14826499
>also what motivation does a waiter have to do a good job if they get paid regardless?
Getting fired. That's your motivation, why do Americans are such a childish culture that have to be "motivated" or stimulated by something to do the bare minimum?

>>14826544
>stimulated by something to do the bare minimum
server's are pretty much unversally lazy retards around the world. arguable in the USA is the only place where actually *do* the bare minimum. go see how you get treated anywhere else by the server paid a "living wage" to play on their smartphone all day

>>14826567
Servers in my country work as they have to, no one is "lazy" or "play on their smartphone all day" because you are working there, they do their job as they must. They don't have to be stimulated by "hey maybe if I'm not a piece of shit they will give me more money" because they already know that that's why it's their job. If you are a lazy piece of shit you get fired easy way of thinking
I'm gonna ask you again why is your people so childish that need to be told to work as they must to "get paid"?

>>14826583
lol no service in the usa is the best in the world only because you actually get proper service

>>14811880
Possibly the most based man in existence. Fuck those greedy kikes charging for imaginary bullshit.

>>14822842
Good catch noticing him, rape is such a subtle crime

>>14814310
You have an autistic way of writing ya know?

>>14819918
He was probably hungry as fuck but had to hide in the bathroom until closing time since he forgot that people would freak the fuck out if they looked at him and saw a horribly malnourished skelly deer thing

>>14811863
$15 for bacon and pancakes is a robbery in broad daylight

>tfw no mommy issues trad /ck/wife

>>14815922
Lmao

>>14819540
Ayyy

>>14820404
Haha what a fag is he always like that?

>>14824723
It means he doesnt have sex

>>14825865
Any other stories?

>>14818874
What this anon said, girls are overrated, obtain boipusssy, don't be a fag

>>14826424
>35%
Spoken like someone who never tips. Nobody tips that much unless the service was outstanding.

>>14812412
You scythian scum

>>14816366
Lol-tun habanero sauce or Marie Sharp's habanero sauce. Best ones I've found so far.

>man comes that his brisket has gone bad after buying it a week ago
>sir did you refrigerate it
>only after I forgot about it the first week can I get a new one for free
>mfw

>>14815695
Your server will get you a fingerbowl for this if you just ask.

>>14811863
>fine dining
>when someone at your table is being served ice water from the busboy and they say they want water with no ice
>when the server offers to sell them a bottle of water and they say no, they demand tap water with no ice

>>14811863
>$15
I’m inclined to say that’s priced too high, but ever since I overheard a poorfag southerner complaining loudly in logan airport in Boston that $7 is a ridiculously high price for a footlong sub, I’ve learned that price is entirely relative to the cost of living in the neighborhood and all kinds of other shit, so I got no idea.

>>14815922
>they leave no tip
>tell my boss what a great waiter I am on their way out

>>14827495
>same table
>20 minutes later
>other cunt bitches that her ice has melted and that the busboy keeps coming back and filling her water from a pitcher with no ice
>she wants ice
I swear to fucking christ

>>14826521
>Durrrr, why does it cost more than the cost of ingredients??

>>14822683
taco bell anon on suicide watch

>>14811879
2 eggs, 2 pancakes a couple sausages and a couple strips of bacon with coffee costs me $17. I perfer not to make it myself.

>>14819540
I bet you have a nice thick cock

>>14821415
i want to beat the plasma out of you

>>14827644
I don't live in the South.

>>14826424
>35%
Did she fucking jerk you off too?

>>14827951
No but she did tweak my nipples till I started leaking precum under the table.

>>14827811
>2 eggs, 2 pancakes a couple sausages and a couple strips of bacon with coffee costs me $17
this is retarded to read. this is 6 dollars.

>>14827869
pretty sure the public health advisory for eating undercooked burgers causing serious illness or death applies in more than the south, retard

>>14827995
Chain restaurants put that warning on menus everywhere because they serve so many people that they have to cover themselves for liability in case someone actually does get sick and tries to sue. In the 1st world parts of the country, getting sick from eating a burger with a little pink in the middle is virtually unheard of.

>>14811863
I don't want to seem like I'm snatching from the person when exchanging money/cards so I end up doing it too slowly and sometimes I accidentally stroking their finger and I hate it but I can't stop

>>14819070
Look, it seems like you've got a verbal tic

>>14827811
Breaking it down ala cart, if all of that stuff were priced as sides at $2-$4 it’d still be at least $12, so I kinda get it.

I dunno if you were including tip, but even though it’s way more than 20%, forgetting the percentage and just slapping down a meager $5 tip to bring it all up to $17 seems fine.

It’s not hard to get a much better deal and obviously if you do it yourself it’s only a small fraction of that, but if the place is good and you don’t go every day, this seems acceptable, if indulgent.

>>14821289
K A R P M A N
D R A M A
T R I A N G L E

>>14828024
You can stroke my finger all you want, anon. I wont even make you pay.

>>14814343
yep, pretty syndrome of a down, happens to the best of us though

>>14815922
>>tell my boss what a great waiter I am on their way out
absolutely based and surreal

>>14816016
>water that is kinda gross I think
it sure is, but if you don't drink it afterwards is relatively acceptable, still never do it if you image towards someone else matters at that momment. Leave it for close people, intimacy, etc.

>>14811884
>>14811879
>>14811863
if you need to "go out" to eat breakfast you are routinely not fit to survive in this world. reminder that paying the 125% markup for the cost of an egg, a pancake, or a slice of bacon while eating out is the single consoomer thing you could do on /ck/. learn how to fry a fuckin' egg

>>14818761
>>bug flies into it
shold have just told the barman, he'd probably give you another without paying that extra glass

>>14819321
fuck I love flavortown memes, they're too good, have a /his/ one

>>14819398
I honestly lmao softly every time I see americans mentioning "queso" or "salsa", it literally means cheese and sauce respectively, you guys have been trololol'd

>>14819504
>Even shit like sprite he said wasn't sweet enough.
he's gonna die of a heart attack big time, but first he'll have a stroke

>>14819727
you're a pussy, real men straight up refuse to pay if the food/drink they getting isn't worth what they're asking

>>14820404
based dad, pussy family

>>14825865
idunno sounds pretty based to me

>>14821256
>fried chicken connoisseur
based, I love fried chicken, I once went to KFC and they served me semi-cold fried chicken and I died a bit inside

>>14811863
Does anyone else think the restaurant experience has become super autistic anyway? In the UK at least.
Like i'll be totally honest, I just want to go in and get my food. I don't wan to fuck about.
We don't seem to have that anymore. Waiters are all freaks of nature and are more trouble than their worth.

>>14828393
What does this even mean

>>14819070
Look, listen here buddy, I don't have time for this, okay?

>>14826499
>also what motivation does a waiter have to do a good job if they get paid regardless?
not getting fired, it's like you're started experimenting the real world 5 mintues ago

>>14828393
>I just want to go in and get my food
You don’t have takeout in bongland?

>>14811863
>$15

bro for $15 you should be getting a half pound strip steak at minimum as well, what the fuck. bacon/sausage, pancakes/toast/hashies, and eggies run like $5.99 in most spots here and that's in a city of 2 mil

>>14826217
Fucking sick coprophiliac

>>14811880
Unironically based. King shit.

>walk past local pizzeria
>"I dont get why everyone hates this place, I like it"
>notice someone working there was outside for a smoke break and he heard me
>never go back
>place shut down years ago and I still get douche chills when I walk past it

>>14815968

Breakfast omakase.

>>14826596
As in, they dote over you and do silly extra things beyond bringing your food and taking your money? It's weird that so many Americans claim to value receiving this sort of service. It seems like more of an old world inherited gentry thing, not really keeping with the spirit of individualistic self-actuation that American culture presents to the world.

>>14813401
I'm a year late responding to this but absolutely not, it has actual texture and seeds and shit in it and again always tastes a little different, not like pre bottled

>>14820359

I love the stuff but I'm not experienced enough to know whether it's actual good hot sauce or just the hot sauce they have in American Mexican restaurants.

>>14818761
I drank scotch and a mosquito flew into it so I threw out what little was left in my glass and ppl kept bringing it up and laughing about it for years

>>14828682
The American perspective is "I've spent the whole week slaving away at work so I've earned the right to abuse the help any way I want because I'm gonna leave a tip to make up for it"

'I dont tip' autists dont understand this because they are autistic

>>14824588

What species of Yuropoor are you?

>>14820404
What drives people to be act like this? I notice is mainly in white American boomers.

>>14828495
They actually don't, it's called takeaway or some other faggy british word

>>14816366
ARIZONA
FUCKING
GUNSLINGER

>>14828418
do you know what it takes to get fired as a waiter?

>>14811880
Remember this man, he fights for your freedom.

>>14828291
It was really good is the thing

>>14815968
Cute

>>14819070
Hey look

>>14828682
>do silly extra things beyond bringing your food and taking your money?
yea like when i ask for a refill they go and get it right away instead of going on break and bringing you your refill after you're done eating.

>>14811941
It's the bathroom rape ghost, be careful or you might get pregnant next time.

>>14829686
one can only hope

>>14824561
lel

>>14821058
At waffle house I don't think you have to but I do anyways because I'm used to saying it like that

>>14811879
Agreed, my local breakfast dinner serves 2 pancakes toast, 2 eggs, 4 bacon strips for 6$

>>14828707
I know that feeling, drink a bakers dozen ants on accident ONCE and no one lets it go.

>>14830596
i fuckin did that last night! i woke up in the night and reached over and grabbed a glass of water off the night stand and took a huge gulp then turned on the light to see my glass was full of sugar ants

>>14830492
No pan fries or hashbrowns?

>>14830663
What a disgusting thing you are

>>14829686
You don't get pregnant if it's true rape. Your body senses the lack of consent and will not make a baby.

>>14829664
Even wanting a refill sounds like faggotry to me.

>>14821058
What video?

>>14820404
Sounds like a northener.

>>14828351
>act like a retard in public
>embarrass your friend
>"based"

>>14826521
then make it yourself you whiny faggot

>at texmex restaurant with girlfriend
>order chile con queso
>10 minutes later, she asks the waiter to reheat it

Like, it's not that unreasonable of a request, and the guy acted like it's definitely normal for him to do. But man, I've never heard of anyone ever doing that in my life. Just really caught me off guard.

>>14830777
whew that's a burden off my shoulders

>>14830783
>being to timid to ask for a refill
sounds like autism to me

>>14831064
if you have a friend that is embarrassed by just existing then it is ok to shake him up once in a while, plus it didn't sound like the waitress was upset by it, only anon cared
Also anon is a complete faggot, i can tell because he added this for no reason
>we're all ''street fashion'' weebs
>he's ''baggy jeans and practical trainers''
literally assmad because his friend wore comfy clothe instead of putting on a normie costume to blend in with the other normies

>>14821289
Based uncle knowing what's good for him

>out in a new city for the weekend with the gf
>choose a restaurant that has good reviews
>have to wait outside because if the rona
>name finally gets called, go up to maître d
>bitch powerwalks to the table, practically fucking runs and has to wait for us to catch up
>sit, waitress comes
>hithankyouforchoosingourrestaurantwhatdoyouwanttodrink
>actually fucking says it in one breath, body language shows that this asshole is ready to fucking go
>have to ask him to repeat himself three times, on the third time I literally say "can you slow down I cant understand you"
>food finally arrives, everything is either burnt or overcooked
>me and the gf are like fuck this, ask the waiter to get the check and that we don't want to eat the food
>waiter tells me to wait for the manager
>no fuck off I just want to pay for the coffee I ordered and dip
>please wait he'll be right with you
>manager comes by almost 5 minutes later, tell him the service sucks and the food sucks and that I want to leave but your retarded waiters are being cockblocks
>asks if he can replace the meal, tell him no fuck off eat shit I want to leave, says ok and still charges me for the coffee

>>14828666
realistically the employee probably hated it more than anyone. id imagine he got a kick out of it

>>14832112
Thats what you get for going out to eat in the plague year. Shoulda ordered in.