/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14794343
I keep clicking the Unlike button, but all it does is make the image bigger or smaller. Is 4channel bugged?

>implying I don't call them an Uber once I bust

>>14794343
She must eat all the eggs

>>14794355
So you've never called for an Uber?

>>14794394

>>14794343
Watermelon

>>14794343
Omelettes have always been my go-to - I can usually have breakfast and coffee ready by the time she's done pissing and past the first stage of regret.

>>14794343
Sam could be funny if he wasn't such a soggy failure.

Eggs done whatever way you're best at.

>>14794355
What number do you call for an Uber, anon?

>>14794343 plan B infused pancakes, just in case

>>14794411
That's what makes him funny imo

>>14794343
Breakfast?

>>14794417
your mom's then I bust in her too

>>14794566
So dead chicks are the only ones that turn you down.

>>14794417

You don't call a number, you use the app, but you know what they mean. I don't call over my waiter on a cell phone either.

>>14794577
ha ha your moms dead

>>14794410
kek does this help hold off the regret? for me, i'm usually the one doing the regretting sadly

>>14794758
If that moped's well built and shiny, I'll ride it all over town.

I only regret teaching some of these mopeds that people are willing to ride them, leading them to open rideshare programs for a while, then begging me to take them back, and give them the proper maintenance they've been missing. "Nah. I'll make Sunday dinner for a fat bitch, but not a fat whore."

>>14794343
>but what about for breakfast AFTER you are laid?
I guarantee you will never need this info.

>>14794787
I can do fat or I can do whore but I can't do both

>>14794343
>Everyone knows what foods to cook for a girl to get laid

>>14794343
>having sex
get off my website

>cooking for people
Servile dog

The eggs thing is basic.
Scrambled, omelettes, oeufs en cocotte, whatever.
Biscuits and gravy, if it's appropriate to your region.
Sweet rolls are nice. They come in popping cans if you're lazy.

A box of Jiffy muffin mix (flavors! not just cornmeal) will turn out 6 reasonably sized ("I could have two without feeling fat about it!") muffins in 20 minutes, while she showers off the regret. Mix with a fork in a 2cup liquid measure.

If you're going for another round for the rest of the day, turn a bottle of cava into mimosas and make it brunchy. This probably involves poaching eggs.

>>14794758
>does this help hold off the regret
Cling to the shreds of normalcy in your daily routine. The knowledge that normal people eat breakfast, and that you too are eating breakfast today may grant you hope that you're not a complete waste of oxygen.

Give her a nice creampie as a reward for making my pp feel good

>>14794355
You ain't got a car anon?

Whatever she comes up with, duh.

>>14796791
If you want to talk after, you make her breakfast.

>>14794343
Scrambled eggs usually, put that on the side with some toast and they can either eat alllllllllll the eggs or they can leave

If she isnt fat, just scramble some eggs. And toast if you want. If she is fat, McDonalds breakfast

>making your own food like a poor person

she'll never come back unless you alpha up and take her to dennys

depends on if i want it to be a ONS or not

if it's a ONS I ain't cookin shit besides maybe scrambling/frying eggs with toast.

>>14794343
Coffee, a joint and sloppy seconds

>>14794447
>$50 pancakes

>>14794343
>implying the men on 4chan actually love their women and they're not using them for sexual conquests to brag to friends about

Sausaga.. and I said "they" because a lot of them are doing it not a single person

>>14796621
>not fertilised eggs
one fucking job

>>14794351
kek

>>14794585
Gotem

>>14798033
The gracious gentleman lover does not force his counterpart to dress immediately, and allows her ample time to wallow in the lake of sexual fluids produced by their union.
If you've done your part properly, she really wants to ooze all over one of your chairs wearing only one of your shirts.

The keepers will make you french toast.

>>14794585
aaaaahahahahhahahahah fuck

>>14798523
>not leftovers
She can take them with in her to-go box.
Meanwhile, I'm going to have something fresh for breakfast, and I'm ok with expending the marginal extra effort to prepare some for her at the same time.