/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14749270
A lot of shitty lager and a lot of beans and red meat spiced out to the max

>>14749270
Eat beans, cabbage, broccoli, milk, eggs. You're looking to max lactose and raffinose (eggs for piquant sulfur if you're a methane producer). If you can digest lactose, highly concentrate efforts on raffinose.

>>14749364
Yeah I forgot milk and eggs. The problem is adding these in WILL make you shit bricks.

>>14749270
What usually does it for me is pork broth ramen with beef meatballs.

>>14749370
You'll be okay if you blow it all out by eating a whole head of celery. I don't know if explosive diarrhea is part of your weekend plans or not. That could be a Sunday afternoon activity if not. Might get it all out by Monday morning. Might not.

>>14749270
Lot of protein

>>14749270
May we ask why? I've been using this on recent flights to get maximum personal space and if I can get first class all to myself I willing to chug a gallon of milk and eat a dozen eggs an hour before the flight

>>14749270
Like >>14749364 said, fiber and undigestible sugars that require fermentation by gut bacteria will maximize methane production, so that's good for fart volume.
You want hydrogen sulfide for odor, foods high in sulfurous aminoacids will get you there: Eggs, oily fish, dried meat, protein shakes, everything Brassica (but especially brussels sprouts), garlic and asparagus. Also, black pudding if you like it.

Beans are a triple whammy, high in fiber, sulfurous AAs and raffinose.

Back when black friday was a thing me and my friends would eat lots of beans, hotdogs, bacon, cabbage, etc and go cropdust the mall crowds. Good fun. Only downside was the car ride there. Someone would always start things off early.

Flatus scientists ITT

>>14749270
burger king and white castle always give me god awful gas

>>14749410
There's this kid that will bother me while I play video games on Sunday. I need to repel her away.

>>14749270
boiled eggs

>>14749473
>farting on a child while you play video game

For fart frequency there is literally nothing better than lager or, better yet, malt liquor. Chug 2 40oz Colt45s and you will fart all day. They won't stop coming, but they'll be light on smell, so you'll have to season them with salty milk and coined eggs.

How do you guys cherish your wind? Do you waft the odor towards your face? Do you sit still and wait for the stink to reach your nostrils? Me, sometimes I waft and sometimes I wait. Depends on the situation.

>>14749270
Cheese bread bowl with a ton of chives (no a bunch) mixed in.
Sorry math class 20 years ago.

>>14749497
I grab the comforter off my bed and make myself a nice little situation. It's a tent for farts. A comfarter, if you prefer.

>>14749270
White Castle sliders with cheese
I ate 8 of them one evening and the next morning I had putrid farts all day long.

>>14749274
For me, it's a metric ton of beer along with red meat.
Then crop dust the hallways at work all day long.

>>14749270
Eat a dozen hard boiled eggs

>>14749270
just go to white castle and get a big ol sack of sliders
that shit never fails to make me gassy as fuck

>>14749270
>Any advice?

protein

>>14749497
>>14749519
>not farting in the shower and letting the rising steam do the wafting for you
Amateurs

>>14749519
Gosh this one got me laughing good

>>14750462
damn

>>14749270
Garlic salt and black pepper scrambled eggs.

My brother used to eat those all the time and his farts would linger and stay for hours. It was bad enough that one time while driving me and his friends, he farted and caused his friend to throw up grape drink all inside of his car. The smell of his fart would not leave even as we were flying down the highway at 80mph with the windows open.
BTW The eggs kick in usually around 4-6 hours later, and keep pumping out for another 8-12.

>>14750675
oh yeah, to make the eggs just add a good amount of the spices while its still a liquid. You might want to experiment with the seasoning amount before the weekend, so eat it every day until then.
More spice=more stink.
He would also add a splash of milk to make it “lighter”

>>14749473
>>14749491
The duality of man

OP, you can ignore every other post. here's how you do it easy:
Protien powder. Just take like 6 scoops a day leading up to the weekend. You'll be producing more lethal gas than Dachau

>>14750838
This. But also drink a fuck load of jagerneister the night before and pig out on collards and beans

>>14749270
You could always try just shitting your pants

>>14749270
This fucking thread

If you multiply the volume (number) of farts by their stinkiness, by FAR it was an entire bag of pork gyoza and a 30 rack of PBR