/ck/ - Food & Cooking

lack of trust in the relationship. she doesn't trust you.

>>14688123
How do you get as far as calling a girl your "girlfriend" without finding out she can't cook

>>14688123
>explains to her that black pepper isn't spicy

>>14688130

I'm always the one doing the cooking

>>14688123
Is your girlfriend a mouth breather?

>>14688193

I mean she's a doctor, so I don't know?
I don't think she was ever introduced to housework

>>14688235
i hate people like her
dump her after you hit it a coupla times
i bet she never felt uncomfortable for even a split second her entire life, fuck her

>>14688175
Why dont you just call her what she is, your fuckhole? And why are you cooking for your fuckhole? Why hang out with it when your are not fucking it?

>>14688254

The idea of hanging out with her is proceeding to fuck her after whatever we were doing.

In B4 "do what you will" copypasta

>>14688254
Have you considered that her inexperience with cooking & food is only one aspect of being a complex human being? He probably likes her for other reasons dude.

>>14688123
date a woman not a child you chomo

>>14688127
/Thread/

>>14688292
That one really traumatized you huh dumbass?

>>14688297
>women
>complex
uhuhuhuahahahahaaohohohohohohohiihihihihihhihihiehehhehehehe

>>14688123
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>14688416
Dialate

>>14688268
no you faggot the idea of hanging out is because you like her. never let some random bitch in your kitchen because women cannot cook. unless they like to read or had good parents or watch a real cooking youtube channel (not buzzfeed) they are going to waste your food. Unless the bitch is going to make something so you can fuck her and toss her out the place then have at it.

>>14688419
Kek.

>>14688123
I had couples therapy from making the worst macaroni in the world

>look up recipe and cook together
>immediately argue
>he says cheese should be melted at high heat
>I say low
>he says cheese should be cut small to melt properly
>I say use big chunks
>macaroni came out with cheese in globs stuck together with gross soggy water and oil
>both agree worst macaroni of our lives
>argue over who's fault it was
>both look it up online
>both get awkward and quiet when we realise we were both wrong and we were both responsible for making it so shitty
>the heat was too high sp the cheese separated into water and oil
>the chunks were too big so they didn't melt properly
>laugh at the situation and bond from it.

>>14688465
wholesome/10
hope you have a long and happy life together

>>14688123
Ultragay thread, appropriate pic. Just admit your real leanings and get on with life.
Pepper is spicy if you hit it hard enough, a concept in many ways I'm certain sounds foreign to your feeble ears.
Rough cracked pepper, sprinkled all over that meat and pushed right in, tendering it in the process and pulling out the juices. Then go for a light sprinkle of salt and then double down on the cracked pepper, if your cracker is adjustable, open it wide and get the fattest fucking corns all over that steak, make sure to do the sides, keep pushing it in too otherwise it will fall off in the pan.
Now pan, extra hot, oil in, whack that meat down so hard it sizzles right back in your face. Wait 2 mins, flip, same.
Let it rest for 3 mins, then eat that chilli level spicy steak with a nice glass of wine and a cute novel on how the Holocaust wasn't real.

>>14688465
Cute as fucking hell. Good to see there are at least a handful happy people left on here.

>>14688590
>Pepper is spicy if you hit it hard enough

How the fuck is something without capsaicinoids supposed to be spicy? Are you a fucking retard?

>chilli level spicy steak

Black pepper is not chilli you fucking retard

>>14688123
OP's gotta decide if he wants to spend the next 18 years of his life with this this idiot. If not - do NOT get her pregnant. Don't be silly; wrap your willy.

>>14688123
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgP2gjByFzY

kill her parents, this should fix the problem
thanks

>>14688127
brutality

>>14688123
>>gf loves my cooking
Im sorry but your kids will get a single digit IQ

>>14688123
>larping being in a relationship

sad, anon

>GF

>>14688235

Well, she sounds like a real catch.

>>14688175
Sounds like SHE has the girlfriend

>>14689376
>>14689380
>>14689385
This made me laugh

>>14688655
I've had people complain about spiciness when i made meat spaghetti sauce with zero chili, but a lot of ground black pepper.

Also, some spiciness is not "hot", like from mustard or horseradish strong enough to bring teaes.

>>14688418
It's been a long time since I've seen this pasta.

>>14688655
pipperine and gingerine among other chemicals are spicy in high enough concentration. try chewing on a handful of died peppercorns. you will feel the heat sensation.

>how the fuck is something without glucose supposed to be sweet?
t. you

>>14688123
>OP pic

Imagine being old enough to have grandchildren, but still bleaching your hair (probably dying it dark first for the roots) and wearing earrings like some one-hit pop-punk wonder from 1995.

Even worse, imagine taking the advice from such a person about what to put in your body.

>>14690382
seething

>>14690387

Imagine a washed-up TV hack "chef" employing an army of "social media marketing" interns to monitor a Burundian llama-gelding forum for any suggestion that Guy Ferry (his real name) is less relevant than La Macarena.

Also, his middle name is "Ramsay"--an interesting connection to /ck/'s favorite geriatric lesbian.

>>14688123
Sounds to me that you've been using black pepper past its shelf life so long that you've forgotten how black pepper tastes.

>>14688235
She's a doctor? And she's too stupid to know that medium-rare steak isn't raw?

>>14688123
>she doesn't believe a word you say
>can't cook but thinks you can't either
Why are you with her? It's as if people are in shallow relationships these days.

>>14688465
>arguing over fucking cheese and not googling it in the first place
Congrats you're both fucking retards, and will probably divorce over something petty. Also lovely how you NEED to argue with no evidence. Stupid cunt.

>>14690450
You will never have sex and my boyfriend is taller and more attractive than you.

Get over it.

>>14690492
I suffer from nymphomania so that was a very harmful comment. Be more careful with your words in the future.

>>14688321
Implying these two things aren’t congruent

>>14690492
he got you how good could he be???
ya stupid cunt

>>14688123
>gf loves my cooking
>"ewww no, I hate spicy food"
she knows nothing about cooking. dump her

>>14690431
women are profoundly ignorant no matter what profession they pretend to be.

i made spag bol for a girl once, decent amount of black pepper
she said it was too spicy for her
fucking white women

>>14688520
Go back

>>14690492
I'm female you dumb bitch. Enjoy turning into blobs with your mentally incomplete husband.

>>14690707
And doctors are idiots who think they know everything just because they got through medical school. They are some of the most targeted for scams because they have suck big egos that they wont ask for help

>>14690416
holy fucking seethe

>>14690724
your (you)

>>14690979
very cool image concept

>>14688123
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.
We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.
But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.
Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."
All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.
Do with this information what you will.

>>14688297
>Woman
>Human

>>14690431
your first step into finding out colleg nerds arent really that smart, cgs

>>14688123
>>"ewww no, I hate spicy food"

At this point I would have asked her to leave the kitchen and just done it all myself. If you want something done properly you have to do it yourself.

>>14688418
I think its so cool that you saved this anon.
I hope some young people here can learn from this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98qw86DsdZ0&ab_channel=IAintOverYet

>>14688590
Imagine this bitch tongue-punching your butthole

>>14690743
based femanon/larpanon

>>14691510
She hates penile penetration but loves fisting and can only enjoy it while locking eyes with a man who adores her.

>>14690743
>I'm female (male)

Ftfy

>>14691110
>medfags
>uni nerds
You've never met a medfag before huh

>>14688235
OK, ben shapiro.

I have never met a single girl within a 5 year range of my age that could cook better than me.
If that is a criteria I wish to maintain, I will remain single forever.

I don't mind cooking and teaching it, but it would obviously be better to have someone at least competent enough to share the tasks with. An ex of mine was at that level (she could bake decently and could do basic foods well enough), and it was very comfy.

What I find funny are my "friends" that are complete babies tat can't cook shit and then when they move in with their horrid girlfriends they invite us in saing "you'll see my gf's X dish is delicious, you're going to love it" and then I TASTE IT AD IT FUCKING SUCKS AND i HAVE TO PRETEND IT'S DECENT.

>>14692535
but medfags go to uni

>>14692652
but they aren't nerds you dunce

>>14692675
yea they are

>>14692679
like I said you've never actually met a medfag

>>14692682
I've met plenty

>>14692687
then you'd know they're not fucking nerds

>>14692687
Kek, blowing that know it all the fuck out. Keep it up lad.>>14692687

>>14692688
but they are though Ive met them they were highly neurotic nerds

>>14692697
They're all highly neurotic normies/chads and stacies
They do dumb shit like getting kicked out for using fireworks indoors in uni halls

>>14692701
lets just agree to disagree :)

>>14692701
Ahhh, you mean American med students.

>>14692713
I'm talking about Bong medfags you dunce
>>14692707
Read my picture and bow to me and I may just spare you.

>>14692732
>Read my picture and bow to me and I may just spare you.
no but I will give you a big hug

>>14688123
Is this your first time around a woman?
Also, how old?

>>14688590
Impressive. Who knew you could deepthroat so much dick you end up essentially loosing your gag reflex.
I'm no longer surprised so many of the male speed eaters looks like colossal faggots.

>>14690743
>I'm female
If I can pontificate a bit, for your edification, one of the rules of the internet is "there are no girls on the internet". This rule does not mean what you think it means.
In real life, people like you for being a girl. They want to fuck you, so they pay attention to you and they pretend what you have to say is interesting, or that you are smart or clever. On the internet, we don't have the chance to fuck you. This means the advantage of being a "girl" does not exist. You don't get a bonus to conversation just because I'd like to put my cock in you.
When you make a post like, "hurr durr, I'm a girl" you are begging for attention. The only reason to post it is because you want your girl-advantage back, because you are too vapid and too stupid to do or say anything interesting without it. You are forgetting the rules, there are no girls on the internet.
The one exception to this rule, the one way you can get your "girlness" back on the internet, is to post your tits. This is, and should be, degrading for you, an admission that the only interesting thing about you is your naked body.

tl;dr: tits or GET THE FUCK OUT.

>>14692771
>>>/b/

This doesn't apply to blue boards you freshie.

>>14692776
It applies to all boards, newfag. And rule 1 and 2 only applies during raids.

>>14692735
That's it you're fucking deleted from existence

>>14692781
based newfag

>>14692781
>And rule 1 and 2 only applies during raids.

Exposed yourself lad.

>>14692804
>Exposed yourself lad.
That really doesn't carry much weight when coming from someone who ledditspaces, but I digress. I'm going to honor #14 now.

>>14692812
You guys who shit on about Reddit sure do know a lot about it.

>>14692812
Reddit spaces?

>>14690338
Years for me lmao

>>14692783

>>14692535
Both get the gas.

>>14688297
GET OUT NORMIE.

>>14688418
Ha.

>>14688419
You misspelled "Dilate".

>>14690492
I can still beat both of you up.
Pleb.

>>14692883
On a side note it's hilarious how anytime a woman is mentioned in the OP the thread is just a series of arguments.

>>14692732
>>14692732
NIGGER.

>>14692776
GET

OUT.

>>14692904
Blue boards are supposed to be civil. But you do you kid.

>>14692893
NEWEST.

>>14692908
>Blue boards are supposed to be civil. But you do you kid.
Can you fuck off to reddit and stop coming here?
Like honestly do you even fucking try to fit in at all or do you just want everyone to love you.
Fuck off and get lost nigger.

>>14688123
>she still won't admit it's because of the way she cooked
>why?
Women are like children, they are unable to accept or admit guilt or responsability and will go out of their way to make mental gymnastics to try and place the blame on someone else.

>>14692912
>>14692916
Stay mad kids.

>>14688297
>Have you considered that her inexperience with cooking & food is only one aspect of being a complex human being?
>women
>complex
>human being
HUE

>>14692580
>I have never met a single girl within a 5 year range of my age that could cook better than me.
>not picking a girl that is half your age while she is in her teen years so you can teach her how to be a good wife since her shit parents wouldn't teach her right.
Never going to make it!

>>14692829
>You guys who shit on about Reddit sure do know a lot about it.
Not that guy, but how wouldn't we know a lot about it when reddit faggots keep coming here and pushing their shit memes on us, polluting our boards?

>>14693019
People who get triggered by reddit usually browse Reddit.

>>14693030
>People who get triggered by reddit usually browse Reddit.
I have been here far before reddit ever existed, and am disgusted by the shitty newfags such as you that keep thinking we are somehow supposed to accept people like you.

Where the fuck do you think you are, kid?

>>14692771
There are no men on /ck/, only FTM

>>14693048
I'm serious. People getting triggered by reddit are all crossover posters. How do you think they know what goes on there? They fear being exposed. Stay mad bro.

>>14693153
>How do you think they know what goes on there?
Because reddit pieces of shit like you insist on vomiting your filth on our boards, what part of that do you not understand?
>Stay mad bro.
Im not even mad, just kind of disgusted by the younger generations of newfags. Sure, newfags have always been gay as fuck, I remenber when the newfags started trying to push shit like " let's change the world today!" and other such crap, but those fuckers were still miles better than YOU and your kin.
So, make us all a favor, if you want to browse that ocean of piss called reddit, then at least keep your reddit shit there, don't post it here.

>>14688123
Yeah my gf was the same. I hated the culinary side of her. She absolutely coouldn't cook anything except playin rice and chicken potpie.
She also hates every single legume out there, most fruits and disliked any spioces except black pepper and salt. I'm glad we broke up.

>>14688465
So did you go to therapy or did you laugh and bond from it? If you had to go to therapy to deol js with therapy I mac ahn cheee up there. But I guess I can't critisize either way.

>>14690362
based

>>14693185
Lmao yeah you mad. I literally don't even browse Reddit bro. I went there once when it came out and /b/ was losing their shit like you are now, but the layout was fucked and I didn't know what to do so I left.

>>14693250
>I literally don't even browse Reddit bro.
>I went there once
You kind of outed yourself just now, this is like trying to claim to your gf that you never used tinder, you just created a profile there once and never used it. Do you think anyone would believe it?

You have to go back!

>>14692580
>I TASTE IT AD IT FUCKING SUCKS AND i HAVE TO PRETEND IT'S DECENT.
Same here my friend. Not saying I'm a pro at cooking or something, but I at least can do basic dishes pretty good and bake the simpliest things at a good level.
It astounds me everytime how few people actually can cook decent. Many people can't even cook a simple egg.
But everytime I have to pretend what my friends cooked this one time is good. Fucking hell no it's shit.

>>14693217
You don't look so good friend, maybe go see a doctor.

>>14693217
Based schizo poster

>>14693217
Take your meds chuvak we got the stutterman

>>14693262
>Go to Reddit once to see what all the fuss is about
>Leave
>You outed yourself as a Redditor

You're absolutely obsessed bro. That's it from me, but I'll let you have the last word...

>>14693217

>mac ahn cheee

Nice

>>14693289
>claims not to be a redditor
>uses reddit terminology such as obsessed.
You are not fooling anyone.

>>14693296
>uses reddit terminology
How would you know if it's Reddit terminology my friend?

>>14693217
We did both cause I realized that mac and cheese makes great lube when cooked on high. As noodles would pop back out of his ass I would chuckle a little bit, he said they tickled kind if like pop rock for your anus. After all that the landlord said he knew what we were up to and if we didnt go to therapy we would be evicted

>>14693217
>If you had to go to therapy to deol js with therapy I mac ahn cheee up there.
What the actual fuck are you trying to say?

>>14693301
>How would you know if it's Reddit terminology my friend?
Because faggots like you keep using it. Same with words like cringe.

>>14688127
Jordan Peterson spotted.
OP needs to make his bed.

>>14693419
You have to go back.

>>14693430
>>14693430
Nah, I was raised here, if anyone needs to go back it is you.

>>14688465
Damn you low IQ people have it easy.

>>14688235
What’s her medical specialty?

>>14693716
I meant to say she has a doctorate (women's studies).

>>14693741
Wow for real?

>>14693771
Yeah. Took her 8 years of study but she has PHD now!

>>14688123
>why?
She’s a woman and a retarded one by what you’ve described
>inb4 she cheats on you and blames you for it too

>>14693741
it must have been hard to keep the relationship going while she studying a broad

>>14693846
I'm not big into puns but that deserves a (You)

>>14692771
>doesn't even quote the other female
Low quality post

>>14693776
>>14693741
>dating a retarded woman who wasted 8 years on woman's studies
OP is a fucking retard

>>14688123
Most women just have shit taste, I just don't let them cook unless it's my grandma.

>brother's gf making pot roast for us in shared house
>talk it up for days beforehand like it will be delicious and amazing
>sneak a taste while they're in the next room and it's cooking
>mfw it's bland as fuck and literally just boiled beef and root veg, no onion
>add some salt and rosemary so it's at least palatable
>brother's gf tastes mild amount of spice in pot roast and literally starts crying
>recalled as the worst thing I've ever done because I "messed with her food"
>fucking salt and rosemary

> ate 2 bowls and she didn't finish one

Women are literal tantrum-throwing children

>>14694013
Yes they are, that's why they shouldn't have rights

>>14693932
So how's your doctorate going? That's what I thought...

>>14694013
Why are people who talk up their food always such basic bitches?

>>14688127
Lack of respect too. If.she respected him at all she would have listened to him & given him the benefit of the doubt.

>>14688254
>Why dont you just call her what she is, your fuckhole? And why are you cooking for your fuckhole? Why hang out with it when your are not fucking it?

Why not admit you like guys? Jesus Christ dude

>>14691096
Sounds based to me, the older I get, the more I interact with woman, the more these stories sound appropriate.

>>14692869
based tankie

>visit parents
>mother is making cabbage soup
>literally tastes like tomato sauce straight out of the can
>decide to try and salvage it, add dried herbs from their gently-used spice rack
>describe what I'm adding (basil and other bland entry-level shit)
>"don't make it too spicy!"
>>14688465
Adorable
>>14688254
Trying too hard
>>14688123
She probably never learned how to cook and is insecure about it.

>>14688465
if you're both dudes this is based as fuck, if you're a straight couple then kys

>>14688123
I hate women

>>14696321
Everyone knows that you're an incel, no need to broadcast it further.

>>14696321
baste(but not too spicy)

>>14694112
Womens studies is not a real field buddy. Might aswell have a doctorate in picking my nose.

>>14688123
you have to eat shit sometimes in a relationship, it's called compromise. i am italian and unfortunately my partner is british. i don't even start the arguments anymore, it isn't worth it. make yourself a nice snack later.

>>14696531
Yeah but you don't. Stay mad educationlet.

>>14696557
I was more educated than your dumb gf in high school my friend.
Dont try and play smart, its not a good look on you.

>>14696376
Actually, nobody does. People just assume you're not by default, even if they've never known you to have a partner go on a date. It doesn't occur to them unless you make some bag of sand gaff.

>>14692535
i have and theyre retards triggered over dumb shit like pepper on steak

>>14691110
College educated=/=Knows all sorts of common life advice. It means they know about their highly specific field.

>>14688254
It's no wonder you're a damn incel.
You need some fucking help dude.

>>14690492
Haha gay

>>14696531
>he doesn't have degrees in decorative psychology and interpretive dancing
Are you even trying?

>>14693324
If you have to ask...

>>14690743
Female (male)
Lmao based tranny with mental issues

>>14696576
Yeah key word being "was". You Doctorateless mindlet.

>>14693011
I'm 27 so half my age is 14.
It's hard to find a 14yo willing to date me and sexy and sane at the same time.

>>14693267
What truly astounds me is the other midwit friends saying stuff like "Wow, it's really GOOD, girl X!"
And I'm thinking to myself "it fucking sucks, lol".

>>14694013
Yeah, this is typical, but you shouldn't have messed with the food, that's social interaction 101 if you're not on extremely close circumstances and with huge familiarity.

>>14696553
>my partner
Faggots need to GTFO, I'm fucking tired of having all of you degenerates shitting up this board. Your opinion doesn't count.

>>14688418
I know it’s copy and paste but beating women works. Do what you will with that information.

>>14690431
Doctors are some of the stupidest shits I've met. They spend so long studying for their doctor degrees that they don't have time to learn how the world works, and therefore have some really stupid retarded ideas

>>14699055
so much this
I work with doctors on a regular basis (IT-Technician for medical systems) and holy shit they are dumber than white bread. Most of them are really nice as persons, but when it comes to basic knowledge outside their fields I feel like I'm talking to retards.
>send out a mail regarding changed login policies, containing personalized login informations
>write specifically "The Windows-Account 'GeneralLogin' (which everyone used which is not allowed anymore because muh data security) will not work anymore. Any other logins will remain untouched and work as before
>get mail from doctor next day
>"yes there's a problem with my login-information. When I logged into windows they work, but then I tried to use them on my amazon they said that my password is wrong"
>mfw

Women are disgusting

OP you're a plain, unseasoned, dry piece of cardboard with no spine
Please go back to r/cuckhold and stop ruining this great board where we discuss FOOD babys first relationship

>>14688123
Pride? Yes, women have it too, and it's a big reason I'm still single.