/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14559594
this 1 time noodle came out my damn nose no shit

>>14559597
Nice, dude.

I was like 7. My dad made spaghetti, when usually my mom did. Hers was bland, and I was used to it. Dad made his with spices and onion. I wrinkled my nose at it and said I didn't want it. My dad picked up the plate and threw it against the wall, then left the house. My parents got divorced shortly after.

>>14559594
Rolled the entire bowl almost into a single wad on my fork. Then it was too big to eat so I cut it with a knife

>>14559664
Make fun of me all you want but maybe I wouldn't be such a picky eater if my dad didn't do shit like this at dinnertime

>>14559594
when i got food poisoning from eating spaghetti and shit and puked all over myself

>>14559714
Or maybe your parents wouldn't have got divorced if you weren't such a picky eater

>>14559594
i started liking the school spaghetti at one point and id grab extra dinner rolls to make spaghetti sliders if possible

>>14559594
When I was 25 and tried asking a girl on a date for the first time. Never again. I'm 34 now and much happier just not worrying about that stuff.

Has anyone here actually tried Jollibee spaghetti?

>>14559914
we dont have that here

I was sick and vomited a bit of my spaghetti back onto the plate. My father forced me to eat everything.

>>14559914
I heard they put sugar in the sauce

>>14559946
Sugar in tomato sauce is pretty common, since it counters the acidity of the tomatoes. But since this is america we are talking about I assume that they add ungodly amounts of it into it, and it won't be actual sugar but rather hfcs.

>>14559949
Jolibee is Filipino.

One time I left spaghetti noodles out for 16 hours. I found them, sitting there in the collinder in my sink, taunting me. I fired up the hot water, did a quick rinse, drained them again, and ate them all right there in the kitchen with some leftover cold meat sauce. It was impossible, insane even. I went from zero to spaghetti in about 30 seconds. Let me tell you, it's rare to feel power like that. To have lost control of your culinary destiny and then, with only your own tenacity, to assert your will to pasta ON A WHIM, rending from the jaws of defeat a MEAL of your OWN MAKING. I felt alive.

Hours later I was shitting into my bathroom sink.

>>14559914
I've tried it. It's literally the worst spaghetti I've ever had. It taste like sugar and margarine with ketchup. I'm not exaggerating.

>>14559956
What the fuck is this cuckmercial bullshit

>>14560012
Jolibee celebrates love, no matter what

I eater spaggeter

>>14560023
Kept waiting for her to drive over dat bish with her car.
KEKQUEAN

>>14559594

Around nine years old began eating spaghetti, a formerly disliked food, soley to pretend to be Super Mario because both are Italian.

If only the cringe stopped there...

>>14560023
i couldn't tell any of the women apart in this advert. and all the guys look the saem

>>14560321
Sure would be nice to live in a country like that....

>>14559956
>>14560023
fuck this gay shit
just settle for whoever. thats the only way to win the "love" game

>>14560301
eating spaghetti is based, not cringe

>>14560023
I think this girl is better looking than the one he's in love with.

>>14559664
Based dad

Most likely kissing a girl that I had no interest in. I should have shoved her off but that was my first kiss. I'm forever stained with that memory.

>>14559714
maybe is you FUCKING ATE YOUR FUCKING FOOD and your whore of a mother wasn't certifiably insane I would have stuck around

Jollibee is disgusting, sickly sweet. Only the fried chicken is ok, but literally any other restaurant is better. Homestyle philipino food is so good too. I just don't understand how Jollibee dropped the ball so hard.

>>14561274
There's a correct way to make your kids eat food though.

>do I have to eat this?
"No".
>what can I have instead?
"Nothing. Scrape the sauce off if you really hate it, but this is how adults eat."

>>14560321
You might be autism

>>14559949
its banana dipstick

Said “Molto Belladonna”! by accident when I was having a spagooter dinner with my friend and his family.

>>14559594
who the fuck buys a plate of spaghetti? you can make yourself multiple servings for like $3-4

>>14561823
Same for fries. Who buys fries? Oh, right. Everybody.

>>14561823
Me cause I dont want to be slaving over ahoy stove all day for fucking ‘ghettis. Why do you think Olive Garden and other “ghetti slingers is so popular?

>>14559664
Some parents have this strange fantasy that their children will treat everything they provide like a gift from god.
How can a grown man be so insecure he can't handle retarded critique from a child?

>>14561152
aw :(
did you at least eventually kiss one you had feelings for?

>>14561964
Maybe it was the last straw that broke the camel's back, you never know.

>>14559949
Burger here, I was raised to not put sugar in the sauce, my father and grandmother both complained about people doing it because it would make the sauce sweet.

>>14559664
>>14559714
This is too good to be not bait
first of all i would like to remind you that because of this the divorce is entirely your fault
second of all imagine getting a divorce because of fucking SPAGHETTI
hahahahah my fucking sides holy shit

based and 'BEEpilled

>>14559749
how bad do you fuck up to get food poisoned from spaghetti?

>>14559914
yes, it's absolutely fucking disgusting, imagine sugary sweet spaghetti sauce, mixed with hotdog chunks that are also sweet, it's fucking vile, eat it at your own peril.

Oh and the burgers, not burgers at all, in fact they use the same recipe as japanese hamburger steak, which is what we in america call fucking meatloaf.

The chicken is ok, if not flavorless, best thing they have is the mango pie.

>>14559664
Based dad.
>wife turns your son into a tastelet
>fuck it, I'm out

>>14565513
Why are Pinoys so obsessed with Jollibee?

>>14560023
It's obviously pushing the "accepting being friend zoned and forever pining over a girl you were too weak to win for yourself is the noble path" angle. They don't even allow him to redeem himself by seeking out an equally attractive mate.

It is an absolutely demoralizing message that has been spammed for decades and only perpetuates beta orbiter culture. It has absolutely nothing to do with real love.

>>14561586
>this is how adults eat
except that's a blatant lie and adults waste their meals constantly. food critics do it professionally. the more you lie to your kids the more they'll grow up to hate you when they grow up and realize the bullshitting.
>inb4 weak 'b-b-ut they'll hate me anyway' boomer cop-out

>>14561789
It's molto benicio

>>14565577
national pride I guess, doesn't mean it's not disgusting

>>14565617
He means real adults. Not people like you who just happened to survive puberty.

>>14559594
I never had spaghetti before being at a friend's house in elementary school during lunch hour. We had spaghetti and it blew me away. I never experienced the sensation of sucking up the spaghetti. It felt like my mouth was impossibly being filled with food.
It'd say that was my spaghettiest moment.

I heard Jolibees aren't doing too well in the US

No money. Cooked some sgaphetti and garnished with cheap Aldi ketchup. That's it.
My lowest point, food wise.

>>14559664
you sound like an idiot

>>14560301
That's not cringe, it's just being a kid.

>>14561881
most people don't have a deep fryer. everybody has a pot and a heat source

>>14568447
You can make fries with pot and heat source.

>>14559664
your dad sounds like a dick but at least he can cook. A women who can't cook shouldn't be allowed to breed.

Here's your jolli meal sir
That's *cough* $7.50
OHHH I'M *COOFING*

>>14568720
yup that's jollibee alright

>>14565710
They deserve each other

>>14559914
Flip here. The secret is banana ketchup

>>14559594
Probably when I made spaghetti today. I’m not a robot.

>>14560301
no, that is pretty based

>>14568720
>Sir, is der a prablem, ser?

fuck yes, i love jollibee threads.

>>14568720
looks like a nurgle plague victim.

>>14559594
When jollibee went bankrupt

>>14559759

one summer i worked at the county fair and we were making spaghetti grilled cheese sandwhiches with asiago and parmesan. all these fat fucks loved them, i thought they were disgusting. I got fired for trading spaghetti sandwiches with the tshirt booth behind us. Didn't give a fuck cuz I came up on a ton of cool summer tank tops.

>>14561126
>I think this girl is better looking than the one he's in love with

This has happened in countless romantic movies and even several pornos as well. And unfortunately it will keep on happening throughout time.

>>14568720
What absolute garbage. I guarantee, if Mcdonalds pulled this shit, you faggots would be mocking it nonstop. But because it's "foreign" it's "good." Fuck you all.

>>14560023
god damn it that just made it even fucking worse what the fuck
I thought this was supposed to be his redemption arc

Fili is probably the dystopyan society we all dont want.

>>14559664
*sniff* leave it alone

>>14559664
Lucky he didn't pick you up and throw YOU against the wall.

>>14559594
Is that just pasta with ketchup?

@14571686
>entire thread shitting on the Bee
>REEE AMERIKEKS REEEEE WHITE PEEPEL REEEEEE

>>14561586

you obviously are talking out of your ass. here's how that scenario days out:
they don't eat run back to their toys and start whining for snacks an hour later.

>great! you can eat your dinner then!
>I don't want to

and we're right back to square one, because children are fucking dumb and don't act in their own best interest. you think they sit there realizing that it's better for them to spend the next five minutes eating and be in a better position for it? no. they would rather sit in that chair for literal hours than take one fucking bite.

you get them to eat with threatening timeouts, loss of toys or activities they like, and anything they care about. otherwise it's your entire evening and let me tell you, it's an every night battle so you learn quick what works.
and as I said earlier, they don't fucking learn until they get old enough to figure the path of least resistance, so that cute little scenario you put out is obviously some zoomers fantasy.

t.boimer with picky eater kids

>>14571936
It's only a couple of evenings, and then they learn. If they can't learn, you should probably give them the pillow treatment in their sleep before their low IQs start plaguing society.

>>14559664
>>14571798

I once shoved some uncooked spaghetti up my nose to make myself sneeze the second I came.

>>14560023
what kind of psychopath writes this shit

>>14559597
Same

>>14560321
There's a reason why none of them shower. They find their spouses by smell alone. No cuckorean can find their own brother in a small market without smelling his BO. Some of them will spice it up so their easier to find. I learned this when I went on a backpacking culinary tour (only ate at mcdonalds sadly but they have some FIRE regional dishes there) and holy hell it stunk. Of course being a white guy I towered over all of them and smelt great.

>>14559973
is this new pasta?

>>14571854
Yes and no and extremely no.
It's not entirely ketchup, but the ketchup that's in there is an ersatz version made with banana's.
It's um, it was a wartime thing and war can really fuck with tastebuds.

>>14571686
McDonalds sells the same style of spaghetti.

>>14571490
Holy fuck, she's cuuuuuuute.

>>14560023
bruh wtf this shit never ends

>>14574217
Is that why chinese people burst into flames randomly?

>>14559956
>>14560023
In the third one the guy's crush discovers that he stole the "fries as fangs" gag from his friend, and realizes that she is her true love. The fourth and final one is her divorce from her husband to be with the guy's friend, and ends on a hopeful note as the guy and the ex-husband commit to a double suicide.

>>14571490
yeah your number didn't come with my meal
;)

>>14559664
based ck population insight

>>14559594
i went to jollibees once and ordered like 30 burgers because it was so cheap, all the pinoys there were losing their minds because im white and fat and was in a poor area of the phillipines.

heck of a place to have a seat

>>14568720
why would filipinos pay $7.50 for something this bad? isnt that a lot of money for them? i wouldnt even pay $2 for that shit. rather get two 99 cent burgers.

>>14573494
>unironically believez a 4 year old would act this way

you just wait until you have children and then-

...oh, wait, ahhh shit I forgot who I was dealing with here.

well shit, there goes my point...

>>14576410
No, I don't have my own. I have a brother who does and plenty of friends who do. Believe me, from your impression of them it sounds like your children are either very stupid or very poorly raised.

>>14575548
Sex tourist, ay?

>>14575548
You’re a sick fuck. leave the kids alone

>>14559753
Yes the egg makes the hen. Youare a retard.

>>14559594
when i drop a 3 stock lead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9maMgWtdH0

>>14559949
>the acidity of the tomatoes
there's an easier, cheaper way for that : buying ripe tomatoes, and onions.

I once accidentally ordered an Eggs Benedict with over-easy eggs when I meant to say poached. No, I didn't get pan-fried eggs, the waitress just gave me a condescending glare and told me "Eggs Benedict don't come over-easy." I felt like a stupid shit, but at least I got poached eggs.

>>14559753
>a marriage that's held together based on a child's tastes
Sounds like a terrible marriage.

>>14576619
it's okay, she probably thought you were hungover or something.

>>14576627
t. retard that doesn't understand the layers of complexity within a relationship to know that something as small as a little shit kid can mess with marriages if they're already on the brink of destruction

>>14576680
So what you're saying is that these marriage have had other pre-existing problems that were doomed anyway? Glad to see we're on the same page.

>Holy fuck, she's cuuuuuuute.

>>14576700
Yes.

Best
>Be me little kid in late 80s
>Dad takes me to an Italian joint with a train theme (railroad town)
>He orders me spaghetti and meatballs
>Have a fucking giant platter of spaghetii with meat sauce and three huge homemade meatballs
>To a four year old dumb kid, I felt like a king seeing this almost animated feast and was really good Italian food. Closed maybe 10 years later

Bad
>Not feeling that great on my stomach that day
>Mom asks if I want spaghetti
>She makes the boxed Chef Boyardee because out of sauce
>Remember it being terrible, thinking how the canned shit was leaps and bounds over this shit.
>End up puking it up an hour later
>Still can remember the feel of the spaghetti coming up

thanks4 reading my blog reddit

>>14559594
jollibee spaghetti tastes like wet farts smell.

>>14576722
dios mio... el goblina del oriental...

I remember loving my dad's bolognese sauce and spaghetti as a kid. I tried it as an adult and it was really bland and lacked depth. It is basically minced meat with tomato sauce and garlic. He doesn't use onion and he considers using tomato paste as "cheating". I am kinda disappointed over how bad my parents cooking is, but at least they tried

>>14577158
Chef Boyardee comes in boxes? Weird.

>>14559594
I used to go to school with a plastic zip lock of spaghetti in my pocket. One day the girl I had a crush on came over to talk to me and I was starting to pitch a tent, so I put my hand in my hand in my pocket to try to get it to go away, I could tell she could tell. I must have accidentally opened the bag in my pocket or something. I ran out of the room yelling and I was spilling spaghetti all over the place.
I ended up getting home schooled after that, I never saw her again.

>>14576245
That's the cost in North America, not the Philippines.

>>14578319
no it comes in cans

>>14579714
>>14578319
no it comes in cylinders

>>14559956
Pinoy brother alert.

>>14559594
I wanna hug that kid and read her a story

>>14580757
I fuckin know rit.

Paternal instincts triggered.

>>14559956
They look like fraternal twins kek.

>>14559956
Holy shit, yes, cuckmercial indeed

all u whites talk about Jolibee and how pinoy it is -- you don't know the first thing about good filipino fast food.

Pic related has amazing spag too without the nasty hotdogs.

>>14578319

i know i had a stomach virus, but it was just terrible which leads to believe it was expired since we always had stuff to make spaghetti or cans of the chef as a kid.

>>14559664
This is even stranger grounds for divorce than the damn Angela Anaconda Digimon short.

>>14559664
This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day
4chan humor is so demented

>>14574224
It’s obviously old, why else would he be shitting in the sink?

>>14559664
This is the funniest thing I'm going to see all day and I actually believe you.

>>14579756
Brilliant

>>14559594
>be 14
>go to grills house for project
>her dad answers the door
>puts out hand for handshake
>slap spaghetti straight into the palm of his hand
>he lets me inside
>go to her room
>don’t even knock, just open the door trying to get away from her dad
>as I’m opening the door spaghetti starts spilling out my pocket
>she’s in her underwear and screams
>spaghetti spilling everywhere at this point
>try to open my mouth foolishly only to find more spaghetti
>end up staring for way too long
>her dad now has come to the door and grabbed me by the shoulder
>quickly i do the only thing available and turn entirely to spaghetti
>run away as fast as I can leaving a trail of soggy noodles behind
>never talk to her again

>>14559664
Anthony, is that you?

>>14559594
Football practice in middle school. Closed campus lunch cafeteria and we were forced to eat shitty public school steam table spaghetti. Our coach got pissed off at us and made us do suicide runs, then a series of 100 yard bear crawls until three guys puked and had thrown up spaghetti dangling from their face guards.

>>14571490
yeah, why are you in my country?

>>14582981
i fkn MISS tropical hut........

Was on vacation in Greece when I was younger and was unconsciously itching myself and my penis slipped out of my swim trunks and I flashed some older girls in a store and they laughed at me

>>14577158
>Male
Takes his offspring to a magical experience in fine dining, best spaghetti experience ever
>f'oid
doesn't even give a fuck about her dying kid, feeds him canned botulism slop
We need to do something about the femoid situation

>>14559956
That is a pretty good editing. I make a lot of webm, and don't see much pixlation... Going to have to analysze

Don't get the story though.

>Be me at chipotle
>qt3.14 behind counter
>want to order steak burrito but mumble it because i'm autistic
>"i'm sorry what was that?"
>mumble louder
>"i'm sorry sir I can't hear y-"
>she gets interrupted by a fart of colossal magnitude that escaped through my tight sphincter.
>my face turns red and I begin shaking
>point to burrito on bill board and reach into my pocket for money and hand her a mount of spaghetti
>a look of disgust goes over her face as she says I need to leave.
>I start to cry and trip on some sauce as i'm leaving.

I'm going to go back after I finish 90 days nofap.

>>14585806
After 90 days of nofap I typically find my spaghetti production to go down at least 75%

>>14585806
Havin' fun making stuff up?
Not even even that funny

>>14559594
I was like 13 at the time. Family was gone until the next day and i was starving, and the only thing in the fridge was spaghetti pasta(no sauce). I was desperate so i took a bouillon cube, melted it in hot water, added some curry, and cut the spaghetti into smaller pieces to mimic the pasta we ate with soup, then mixed it all together.
It was better than most instant noodles I've had.

>>14585825
have sex

>>14559664
I don't have a spaghettiest story but I told yours to my parents earlier, and my dad regaled me with a similar story to yours. He cooked my sister's ramen 15 seconds too long, she refused to eat it based on that alone, and he responded by smashing the glass bowl it was in into the sink. That day, he learned not to get so mad over minor things.

Which is ironic considering today he got super mad that my sister refused to take the cargo cover he purchased for her new Fit.

>>14559594
My oldest sister makes amazing spaghetti. She won't tell us what type it is but it tastes so good. My moms spaghetti is a bland watery mess while my dads is too spicy. Sucks cause she moved out three years ago.

>>14585825
Kys newfag

>>14586056
is ur sister hot

>>14560337
how about just falling in love with someone who loves you

there is no such thing as "settling", and you make everything worse by constantly thinking there is "better" or devaluing the person who actually cares about you.

>>14584777
not who you're replying to.

I might be an exception but my mother was a chef and put the quality of our food above all else. Actually lived in a shithole, but ate like kings (no welfare), which is how she saved money too. Eventually moved to a white neighborhood and continued to eat like kings. She even taught us how to cook as kids, so we could cook ourself fish, chicken, steak, etc really well

I still love chef boyardee tho

>>14587788
there is definitely such thing as settling, and there's no such thing as love, so maybe you should grow up and forget your fantasy world

>>14577158
>Be ten-ish years old
>Mom made a sauce I didn't like, so just eat spaghetti with ketchup
>Okay with it
>"Man, I'm hungry", scarf down like three plates for some retarded reason
>Suddenly have to run to kitchen sink to evacuate enormous mass of spaghetti through mouth and nose
>No liquid, just a thick, never-ending sludge of half-chewed spaghetti
>Oh god, where is it coming from
>Almost suffocate, cry
>Blow spaghetti chunks out of nose for days afterwards
>Physically can't eat spaghetti for thirteen years

>>14576245
Its about 3 dorras here
t. Flip

>>14559664
You should have eaten the fucking food Anthony.

>>14583982
Texas or Oklahoma?

>>14587858
same, but I unironically love spaghetti so my it's still a reflex only if I see boxed Chef.

the only thing I found worse than spaghetti vomit was a combination of sushi and jagermeister.

>>14559664
You were a little shit just like me, I pissed my friend's mom off once because I started retching after biting into a raw tomato sandwich. Sounds melodramatic but I really could not handle crunchy veg back then.

>>14588410
now im craving sushi and jagermeister

>>14559594
ate wholewheat spaget with 3 day old spaget sauce. shat liquid almost immediately.

>>14565710
>>14567314
>>14559594
they put fucking sugar in the sauce.

>>14561901
then quit being a nigger and buy a jar of sauce from the store you fucking cuck. It takes 10 minutes to make spaghetti

>>14571686
we are mocking it you fucking retard

>>14559594
Mom used to make spaghetti all the time, was everyone's favorite food in the house. Then years later I discovered the truth, she was never making spaghetti, it was spaghettini this entire time. My whole life what I knew as spaghetti was wrong, I still can't get over it.

>>14583982
Why is child abuse so common among american coaches?

>>14559664
you made your parents divorce
based

>>14590052
child abuse is common in any area where adults are with kids. a new story about a woman sleeping with her middle school students comes out every day. the mainstream media will only talk about whichever one gives them a political advantage though.

Jollibee is starting to pop up in my state, bros.. What am I in for?

>>14590061
>t. Child abuser

>>14590061
We're not even talking about sexual abuse, you pervert.

>>14586297
>he mentioned le epic spaghetti so it's automatically funny
Back where you came from election tourist

>>14559956
A lot of commercials in Asia play on sadness. That and the fact Jolibee is a "happy" place. Watch some Thai Insurance commercials. They're painful.

>>14559664
god damn lmao

>>14590061
>thuh media

do you check under your bed at night for any other boogeymen, anon?

>>14593280
I bet you wear a mask outside

>>14559664
>ree it's my dad's fault i'm autistic

>>14559914
My Filipina gf makes a really tasty spaghetti and meat sauce that's got a nice bit of heat to it and is just delicious. I can already hear the chorus of execration from italians but fuck you i like it. Never had Jollibee and she has some weird hangup about it and seethes if it even gets mentioned.