/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I should add, he is coming over to my place and I am cooking the whole meal. I told him I'm a really great cook, which is perhaps a bit of an exaggeration.

Cock and ball torture.

>>14468682
we actually haven't had sex yet

also that looks gross

I don't want to make weeb garbage

>>14468689
Prawn skewers men find romantic

>>14468708
that looks nice but I don't have a grill.

Also, I want at least some carbs.

>>14468689
Flatten chicken breast, season, place bell peppers, onions, cheese, whatever you like, roll chicken breast, wrap with bacon, fry bacon side in skillet, then place in oven standing up, make mashed potatoes, make a veggie side (grilled mushrooms, asparagus, brussel sprouts, or just a salad), buy a nice white and red wine for choice, or just liquor and mixers.

>>14468731
that uh seems like a lot of work

>>14468734
Have you considered just killing yourself instead

>>14468734
Nigga, then just boils some pasta, brown some ground beef, toss in some sauce, mix all that shit up. Garnish with fresh basil or parsley, Garlic some bread then toast. Eat that shit. Try not to be boring. Get ducking drunk then fug.

>romantic occasion
>two men

>>14468746
That sounds hard

>>14468746
i was hoping for a nice creamy sauce

i'm not much for tomatoes

>>14468747
not as rare as you think for younger people

>>14468749
Are you a man? I thought you were a women thats why i replied...i hope i have not been fooled my lady....

>>14468755

>>14468755
You can dump a creamy sauce in and use mild Italian sausage instead, then dump creamy sauce in his ass after

>>14468757
yeah i'm a man is that a problem?

I just want to make pasta with a nice creamy sauce for my date.

>>14468770
I don't think we are ready for sex yet. We will probably just cuddle after dinner.

>>14468792
Is your date a women?

>>14468796
no

>>14468792
Are you 14? Just go to Taco Bell cause that's the only thing that'll get to wreck your boi holes then

>>14468800
Is she technically not a women because shes disabled?

I mean it was decent bait in the OP but now it's just stale. You need to get fresher bait for your replies bro.
t. actual gay (although you probably are too)

>>14468804
we were both assigned male at birth

>>14468804
>Trans women are women

>>14468792
Put your cock on a plate faggot

>>14468819
there's no need for homophobic slurs here

>>14468670
Don't do anything carb-heavy. Some nice protein and a lighter side dish so as not to weigh him down. If you're making dessert, chocolate for sure.

All pineapple so both of your cum tastes good the during the morning sex.

>>14468825
He has a right to free speech just like you have the right to be called a homophobic slur

>>14468813
Im really confused, are you going on a date or out with your buddies?

>>14468826
Nah. They'll do what twinks do and talk about how hungry they are then only eat a third of their meal. Stupid sexy twinks.

Have you considered giving him a nice creampie?

>>14468811
>t. actual gay
Your fetish is shit and you should just fuck women

>>14468826
but i want to relax and cuddle and fall asleep in each others arms on the couch after, what's wrong with carbs?

>>14468837
date

I am romantically attracted to the same sex, as is he.

>>14468849
>I am romantically attracted to the same sex, as is he.
I'm so sorry, OP. I hope we'll find a cure someday

>>14468841
Yeah, but you want something to snack on during your break.

>>14468708
see this really burns my cannoli. why would you leave shell on the shrimp?

>>14468847
I tried fucking women, just wasn't for me. Men are all round better for romance anyway.

>>14468670
im glad im not gay
women are better than men
men are icky and gross and have bad fashion while women have nice boobs and dresses

i get jealous when i find out someone is lesbian because it means that im not attractive enough for them. i just want nice wifey who wont cheat on me like my other gf did

>>14468849
Fine. Go with pasta. Do something unusual. With seafood. >>14468851
Fuck off.

>>14468849
Sorry, but im just trying to understand what is going on here. Your family has staged an intervention for you two? And your still so horny your trying to turn it into a romanian occasion? Sad

>>14468859
>women have nice boobs and dresses

you can't have a conversation with boobs or a dress

>>14468860
I guess I would like pasta with seafood.

>>14468864
give it up

>>14468868
Gypsies

>Having a conversation with a women
I'm trying to keep my stress levels down

>>14468868
not him, but are you two gays gypsies by any chance?

>>14468868
>you can't have a conversation with boobs or a dress
most of the people i talk to are girls

i like girls so much. they make me happy
i just wish they liked me more

>>14468868
how many men have you had sex with

how many dicks have you sucked

how often do you get tested for hiv

>>14468856
That wasn't a problem when I was going to the gym

>>14468849
are you romani?

>>14468670
you need to establish dominance right away op. here's what you do

>>14468670
I found a good pasta OP

Pizza
I'm a lazy tranny

>>14468914
>tranny
lol top kek

>>14468925
being a tranny isnt funny

>>14468929
Maybe to you

>>14468755

>>14468954
it's ok to like creamy pasta, anon

>>14468670
What you freaks do behind closed doors is your business, but we dont tolerate gays here.

>>14469020
wake me up when I never have to hear about what straight people do behind closed doors, please

anyways is there a REALLY EASY way to make ravioli from scratch, like stupid easy?

OP, if you are gay, you should know what men find attractive. Can't you read people? Just merge some stereotypical male shit with something sexy as well. Aren't you guys ultimately just doing this for sex? Because if this isn't just about sex, why even lie and tell him you are a great cook? Do you expect a meaningful relationship based off lies? Men aren't as foolish as women in general, he will know you aren't great as soon as he sees you can't even be bothered to put true effort into a dish that you invited him to eat on the pretense that you are good. He will see this, and disregard you, and not even want meaningful relationship, and his mind will go straight to sex. Just prove yourself to him, dammit! Make something fancy.

>>14469022
Its a dude, ya faggot. give him beer and a pizza.

>>14469032
We've already discussed it, and there's no pressure on either of us to have sex. We are moving slowly and looking towards a relationship, not just pleasure.

>>14469020
Genuinely think /ck/ is one of the gayer boards tbphwyf.

>>14468670
Is he cute?

>>14469054
he's hecking adorable, anon

>>14469037
I see. I just read the beginning of your thread where an anon suggested what sounds like a good meal that mixes sexy with male stereotypes, (because of the bacon roll sort of thing), and it's even phallic, and you said it seemed like a lot of work, and it make me mad. If you want to start things slow, do you maybe want to cook cook something that shows you didn't put much effort in the dish? Maybe try to demonstrate that you could have cooked some gourmet shit, but you don't know if he is worth your time yet? If that's not what you want, why tell him you are a great cook and invite him to eat? I don't like the apparent basis of your relationship with this man. I'm mad at you. Don't do something like this again. Here's an idea.. maybe cook something together, and that way, even if you aren't that good a a cook, (though a assume better than the average person) you can kind of demonstrate your skill, (chopping, cool sauteed tricks, etc..) and explain the skills to him. That would impress a male.

>>14468868
>you can't have a conversation with boobs and dresses
Based and homopilled

>>14469049
Yes we support lgbt rights here

>>14469020
>we
stop bro

>>14468670
Honey dijon salmon with a walnut panco breadcrumb, served with carrots and garlic butter noodles (or whatever sides sound good) would be my suggestion.
http://www.eatingwell.com/recipe/267223/walnut-rosemary-crusted-salmon/ Good luck on your date anon.

>>14468670
I won my fiance's heart over with a big, juicy, medium ribeye. Serve with mashed potatoes, broccoli, and have sauteed mushrooms and onions on the side. Make a sauce from the delgazing fluid (I recommend brandy or red wine) and the fond.If he's a masc guy this will show him you can give him what he wants.

good luck anon.

>>14469087
he's not masc, to say the least

>>14468670
FAGGOTS

>>14468755
>
.

>>14469069
Glad to hear it. I'm an ally of yours too.

>>14469094
Hmm, I don't know what femboys eat

>>14469128

>>14469141
he's not a femboy, femboys are coping trannies who think not identifying as women makes them one of the good ones

you can be a flamer/fem gay man without being a "femboy" which literally always just means a tranny in denial

>>14468884
I've gotten into three digits some weekends :3

>>14469144
OP clearly said he doesn’t have a grill, he’s a femboi

>>14468670
Imagine two guys that are gay and after they finish eating hot pockets and drinking fiji water they go into the bedroom and start scissoring with their assholes

>>14469395
>scissoring with their assholes

that's not a real thing

How do gays even sex?
Put one dick into another?

>>14468670
we will once again rid the world of degenerate faggots, know your days are numbered.
get Aida and die you fuckin freak faggot

>>14469404
>Aida
Now is not the time for taking a cruise

>>14469401
yes it is

>>14469403
we j-just cuddle

if you want to fug make something light so there's no unpleasantness with your buttholes
if you want to cuddle without having sex for some retarded reason make something with carbs or starch and a nice sauce so you can get the comfy vibes going

>>14469414
short of at least one person involved having a massive prolapsed anus i don't think that's even physically possible

>>14469426
You know that it's gay as fuck to cuddle with another dude, right?
Why don't you just get over your fetish? It doesn't have to rule your life
>inb4 it's a valid sexual orientation

>>14469433
i'm not hurting you in any way

imagine sticking your dick into the shit of a mentally ill man in a dress. Jesus being a faggot must be a nightmare, I'm sorry you were molested, I hope you find god.....also trump2020

>>14469436
You're only hurting yourself, bra. I want to help you

>>14469438
jesus never existed

religion is a lie

>>14469438
>imagine
daydreaming again?

>>14468727
>I don't have a grill
buy ffs, I just bought one, it costs me 15€

Str*ightoids really are disgusting
Anyway make a quiche, it’s fairly impressive if you do it well and gays love them
Also post pic of qt twink

>>14469457
Soggy eggs so you can warm your date up to the taste of soggy ejaculate. Yum.

WORST THREAD IVE EVER READ BTW
FUCK JANNIES
FUCK TRANNIES
FUCK FAGGOTS
AND FUCK YOU OP

>>14469430
it actually is possible because i work at a jail and see niggas doin it all the time

>>14469141
Tofu salad

Daily reminder that if you support any rights for faggots besides the right to a bullet in the head, you support child molestation. These people are so deranged in the fucking head that they each each others feces, and yet plenty of Americans are happy to see them "married." You deserve what's happening to your country.

>>14469634
Retard.

>>14468849
kill yourself faggot

stuff like guacamole maybe kale salad with good dressing? hearty veggies would do wonders.

>>14469128
>ally
Being gay is not some battleground you pandering fuck
I suck dick, I don't need your "support"

>>14469634
>These people are so deranged in the fucking head
> plenty of Americans are happy to see them "married."
I wonder why that is

>>14468734
stupid lazy gay faggot. not surprised at all

>>14470154
meeeeow, catfight

>>14470320
Because America has become a godless society.

>>14469634
>"These people are so deranged in the fucking head"
>"If you support any rights for faggots beside the right to a bullet to in the head"
Take your meds schizo

>>14468858
nice cope, men are better at romance, what a fat load of bullshit

I've fucked a lot of trannies and women and I have to say, women are horrible people but pussy is worth it

>>14468670
Were you hugged too much as a child or not enough?

>>14470330
Maybe that’s why we’re so much more successful than every other country

>>14470456
>successful

Right now, we are in the middle of a depression, with 30 million people out of work.

>>14468670
>I know he likes pasta.
I can't stand cooking pasta to order. The strainer, the mess, the later cleanup. No thanks. A wrecked kitchen is no fun.

>>14468670
Here is traditional food of my homeland we eat before sumaalinda anti homosexual festival

>>14469141
nothing
gotta keep that boipuss clean

>>14469128
>i'm your ally too
Yet you wont support gun rights. Not much of an ally.

>>14470487
Find a theocracy doing better.

>>14470693
>Gays who want guns for defence of self, family, and property? Impossible!

A fancy cheeseboard is the key to a women's heart and a faggot's ass.

>>14470751
>women

test

>>14468792
Are you fucking kidding me? Pasta?? On a first fucking gay date? It's fucking July. God forbid eating fucking carbs in the summer and you're dumb enough to eat carbs in front of OTHER GAY PEOPLE???

>>14469445
*Tips*

All faggots are pedophiles

>>14473035
Apparently yes. Nothing wrong with it.

>>14468670
Following the cooking advice of this board is like following the advice of a friend to stick your balls in a deep fryer cause they hurt. Nothing good comes from it and most people will think you’re retarded. No one on this board can actually cook.

>>14468674
ooo slow cooked pasta sauce with meatballs, sweet and spicy Italian sausage and veal shank, slow cook it for 6 hours in a low oven, get the highest quality pasta you can find. ideally fresh.

have a nice salad for a starter, a iceberg wedge is nice. Italian chopped is nice too or even a chicken Caesar salad is nice. maybe have a cheese and crackers platter after dinner.

>>14473044
cope conservacuck

>>14468747
This is a troll, anon, he does this regularly.

1 cup whole milk reduce by half over med/high(15 minutes) (stir constantly until it coats a spoon)
1 tsp salt black pepper and a pinch of Clove
once reduced add 1/2 cup parm cheese 1/4 cup mozzarella whisk to combine finish with a bit of italian seasoning
in a separate pan boil fettuccine noodles in well salted water (about 9-12 minutes)
you could also take 2 chicken breasts (salt pepper garlic powder) and pan sear for about 5-6 minutes per side and boom Chicken fettuccine alfredo

>>14468731
Mashed potatoes might be a bit much when the main course is pasta, otherwise this is a really solid choice. Try having a small serving of soup on the side, possibly tomato bisque and crumble some of the bacon as a garnish.

why are faggots so lazy?
OP is not only a fag but a retard

>>14474320
>no denial
YIKES

>>14468670 (typo in first recipe)
2 cups whole milk reduce by half over med/high(15 minutes) (stir constantly until it coats a spoon)
1 tsp salt black pepper and a pinch of Clove
once reduced add 1/2 cup parm cheese 1/4 cup mozzarella whisk to combine finish with a bit of italian seasoning
in a separate pan boil fettuccine noodles in well salted water (about 9-12 minutes)
you could also take 2 chicken breasts (salt pepper garlic powder) and pan sear for about 5-6 minutes per side and boom Chicken fettuccine alfredo

>>14473044
nah I'm a barafag

>>14473044
retard. pedos are based, fags are disgusting.

Creme brulee is REALLY fucking easy to make and always impresses. Put a few berries on top once you finish it for that extra elegance.

>>14468670
I think the tomboy girl on the right might actually be a biological male.

>>14475262
>pedos are based

"Pedo" is a racist term you Trump voting MAGA right wing bigot.

The correct wording is: "Minor Attracted Person"

>>14476460
You're talkiing about Trump and his friendship with Epstein, as well as his nod of the head to Ghislaine wishing her well.

>>14476460
>Todd Nickerson
It’s like pottery

>>14469395
Kek.

>>14469634
Naw man, gays aren't pedophiles. That was archaic propaganda

>>14476651
Didn’t the nascent gay rights movement in America have an internal argument about whether or not to kick out the gay pedos because they were making all the other non pedo gays look bad? As in, “how can we push for equal rights in society when we got kid fucker groups under the umbrella of the Gay Rights Movement“?

>>14468670
>I know he likes pasta
Then cook pasta. I'm partial to pene or rotini. Simple red sauce, little bit of spice (honestly chili flakes will do the trick), maybe some onions and red peppers, chopped Italian sausages, parmesean flakes on top. Serve with alcohol. Maybe some garlic bread to be exxxtra fat. I might just be a carbfag, but pasta is always a good idea. I've made it for cooking dates before and it's always been good. Also cooking dates are based, good luck gaynon.

>>14475252

bara is based as fuck.

twinks are faggot tier shit. they can fuck off and get aids and die at age 29.

>>14476730

cooking dates are amazing desu. helps me filter out the tastelet and cooklet plebs. don't need that shit in my life. i need me a man who i can cook amazing food with.

>>14476799
It's such a wholesome and rewarding date. I'm not dating rn, but that will 100% be the go-to in the future. It's also cheap, practical, and fun.
>Later in the day, getting dark out
>Having a few drinks together
>Some nice relaxing background music on
>Working together to make a tasty meal
Cannot imagine ever going to a bar or movie again.

>>14476835
movies and bars are shit tier dates. kitchen date is best. i even make a day out of it and decide on a a recipe together and shop for ingredients together. got plenty of time to make those fancy recipes that would normally be impractical on a weeknight.

>>14469457
nigger

>>14468670
Folgers coffee.

>>14476672
Yes back in the 70s with NAMBLA. All the fucking faggot pariahs are pedo fuckers too like ginsberg. It would be funny if it wasn't so typical and sad.