/ck/ - Food & Cooking

This copypasta seems pretty homemade! Or... copylasagna? Bitch lasagna! You stupid bitch.

What did you win?

Anything made at home that requires more than unwrapping and heating is “home made”, but to call something “Special” is arrogant unless you’re going all out on prep and technique.

Americans are fucking crazy. I hope you all die.

>>14410995
For me, something homemade implies a set of ingredients that have not been ultraprocessed or it's ready made.

>>14410995
faggot

No one is in their offices right now so this is a lie but boy this sure sounds based anyways

>>14411181
2nd gen Italian here so the copypasta example given is pretty relevant, and yeah you're spot on in my mind.

For it to be a homemade lasagna (or perhaps what I would consider one of my mum's recipes), I'd expect the sauce to be freshly made at home from base ingredients, but the pasta could be packaged and dry.

However, this gets blurred when we get more granular on the base ingredients. Can the sauce be made from tinned chopped tomatoes? Or does it have to be tomatoes off the vine? Do dry herbs count, or do they have to be freshly picked from the garden?

To me, it's more about the home kitchen process of bringing the ingredients together to make the main elements of the dish, so tinned tomatoes would be fine in my mind.

It's actually a very interesting and culturally relevant question, with no real correct answer as it'll be so individual to each person.

That being said, the metaphorical person in the example is a moron for thinking his mum's lasagna is special from a culinary perspective (jarred mass produced pasta sauce is disgusting in my opinion), but it is absolutely special to him because his mum makes it for him, and that concept I have the utmost respect for.

>>14410995
this pasta is stale
however my ma makes some damn good homemade sauce she learned from her grandmother from Sicily. it rare she does it anymore but last time i had it, it was so fucking good. unlike most plebs using ground beef, she'll use italian sausage and pork loin. i dont even know everything she uses. i keep asking for the recipe but she wont write it down as much of it is "to taste".

>>14410995
Here's my Recipe for Lasagna. I stole it from my sisters ex husband, he never wrote it down I just helped him make it once. I don't personally measure anything but recipes don't like being vague.

Makes 2 pans

2 lbs. sweet and/or hot Italian sausage
1 package Lasagna Noodles
1 Table spoon olive oil
2 16oz. cans diced or crushed stewed tomatoes
2 or 3 lbs. Mozzarella cheese
Italian seasoning (Fry’s National Spice brand)
dried chopped parsley (Fry’s National Spice brand)
2 or 3 pints ricotta cheese
2 or 3 eggs
1 white onion medium to large
6 to 8 medium size mushrooms
2 or 3 cloves fresh garlic

Mix the 2 or 3 eggs, 2 or 3 tablespoons parsley, and Ricotta cheese together.

Chop the Mushrooms.

Coarse chop the onion, smash and finely dice 1 or 2 cloves of garlic.
Remove the sausage casing, and break up the sausage in a frying pan.
Brown the sausage with 2/3 the onion and all the garlic, salt and pepper to taste.
Drain off the grease.

In a 2 quart sauce pan combine the Stewed tomatoes, 1 tsp. Italian seasoning, the rest of the onion, 1 crushed and finely chopped clove of garlic, the mushrooms, and the Sausage.
bring to boil and then simmer about 15 minutes.

Arrange in layers in a ungreased 9x13" pan: sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella, and pasta.
No need to boil the lasagna noodles.
Top the last layer with a generous amount of mozzarella.
Bake at 350 for 20 to 25 minutes or until sauce bubbles and the cheese is slightly brown.

Yesterday was the worst dinner I have ever had. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house yesterday under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

>>14411642
I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today, because I was let down yesterday and had a hankering for it. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

Any other stories of hosts from hell? People who cannot act respectful towards others in their own home should not have dinner parties.

>>14410995
>At work on Monday, my coworker was talking about how happy he was that his mother was visiting on the weekend because she was making her "special lasagna recipe". He talked about it at length and I told him lasagna is rather simple to make and I couldn't see it being that "special".
My asshole senses are tingling.

>he was upset and realized that I had won this time. He avoided eye contact when he walked past my desk 10 minutes ago. I definitely won.
wait did I miss something how is this a competition?

>This experience has gotten me thinking: what do you consider home-made? Obviously I would not expect someone to grow and mill their own flour to make pasta, but there is an obvious medium between that and throwing together processed foods and calling it your "special recipe".
You are what is known as an insufferable jerk. You describe how almost everyone in the world (who makes lasagna) makes lasagna.

The only bad (homemade) lasagna I ever had was my aunt who made lasagna with ground beef and cottage cheese instead of italian sausage and ricotta.

>>14411648
wow you really are a shit head.

>>14411642
>I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers
I bet they have a similar rule about you now.

>>14411642
>>14411648
please be real

>>14411648
You both sound like twats. It's obvious you don't like each other, why did he invite you and why did you go?

>>14411694
>>14411699
>>14411722
>>14411734
>newfags can't recognise ancient pasta

>>14410995
Maybe you should consider apologizing to your coworker for your rude Behavior.
You're referring to his mom you work with the guy could you not have at least pretended it was good?