/ck/ - Food & Cooking

zoomed in funny cat

Hahahahaha
Sister totally BTFO
You really did it
Congrats

>go partying at friends cabin
>instead of chips, bring some protein snacks
>home made, cottage cheese with berries, and home made protein froyo
>"anon, why you flexing with your snacks?"
fuck you bitch

>>14278505
>work in summer camp kitchen
>never cooked before in my life
>hired as prep cook
>LMAO okay
>working for a month
>get really good at slicing shit (I’m not retarded so I actually learn is all I’m implying)
>get really fast at slicing shit
>dicing, julienning, etc
>cook for approximately 1000 people, two meals per day (B&L)
>supervisor tells me one day: “make Cole slaw”
>ask him how
>nigger pulls out a 50 year old recipe book and flips to the Cole slaw page
>like 30 ingredients
>I’m just like wtf bro
>he tells me good luck
>make the sauce, taste it
>kindaShitTbh.jpg
>only mayo, vinegar, salt, pepper, sugar, etc, very basic
>find a can of pineapple
>ohShitNiggerWhatAreYouDoing.png
>dice the pineapple very fine
>mix with sauce
>mix with all the cabbage and shit I already prepped
>it’s absolutely delicious
>tell supervisor to try it
>he looks at me like I’m a genius
>tells everyone to try it
>everyone is like wtf this Cole slaw is amazing
>after the campers eat we eat and everyone takes some slaw
>everyone is eating it
>have never and probably will never make cole slaw that good again
That day definitely turned me into the chef that I am today when I realized that everyone who can’t cook is a fucking joke

>>14278505
What is mog

>>14278563
Newfag

>>14278563
dyel

>>14278563
Cuck

>>14278563
Retard

>>14278563
Nigger

>>14278563
dilate

>>14278560
That's impressive anon, you sound like a cool bro

>>14278505
Is this you? >>14272656
What kind of cookies did you end up making?

>>14278563
huh?

>>14278505
oh my God, I hate cats.

what happened to ck you're all fucking weird now

>>14278563
Seethe, dilate and cope, you newfag retard.

>>14278563
baka desu senpai

>>14279985
I actually have never met anyone who genuinely hates cats. You know, the way that most people hate spiders? NO ONE hates cats THAT WAY. Isn't it amazing?

>>14278510
seething dogfag

>>14278510
based anti-toxotard poster

>>14278563
>What is mog

Cats don't belong on a cooking board. Unless you're chinese HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK

>invent word based on acronym no one cares about
>be surprised that 99% of population who don't browse your insular underwater basketweaving sub-board don't understand what you're saying

>>14280306
bud it's yulin dog meat festival not cat meat festival

>>14278563
It's the word that makes you look like a retard
Basically it means showing someone up
His grandma thought his cookies were way better than his sisters

>>14280297
That's a brony meet-and-greet, isn't it?

>>14278563
Go ask Calum von Moger

>>14280505
just as autistic. speedrunners.

>>14279633
Yes
Chocolate chip cookies

>>14279358
I doubt this is ironic, so thanks anon. It really did change my outlook on cooking in a significant way and made me feel very proud to have personally done something that so many people liked.

Looking back, I almost felt like the kid that made some god awful shit that everyone pretended to like. It was really a great day, and the fact that coworkers I had bonded with for weeks were looking at me and smiling with genuine joy due to my personally created dish was absolutely blissful.

I really hope other people get to experience this, cooking is one of the few things that is mastered by few buy enjoyed by many, and the feeling of producing a dish that other people enjoy is deeply gratifying.

>>14278505
I completely Amogged my Mom, who had been cooking for decades, by making all her signature dishes but so much better that she admitted it was way better than hers.
You should have seen the crushed look on her face lmao

>>14284313
Rofl

>>14278505
>visit new grandmother in another state
>she has a bunch of peaches and we all decide to make a cobbler for after lunch
>look up a recipe, but shes also rattling off a recipe to me that I should just eyeball
>combine the two on accident and it doesnt really turn out, she says I should have listened to her
>later that night go out to dinner with aunt, uncle, and cousins.
>come back home to grandma, she says look
>pulls a towel of a dish which is a perfect blueberry cobbler she cooked while we were gone
>"like that."

>>14278505
Your grandma sounds like a bitch, and I think you've inherited her genes

Gooking?

>>14278510
why do cats trigger people so much

>>14284860
Gulinary Arts, thank you very much.

>>14284870
because they're fucking disgusting like the people who own them

>>14284870
Because there is one and only one terribly boring person who blogs his boring life here every day, day in day out, always with pictures of zoomed in cats as his avatar.

>>14285260
>>14285285
seething

>>14285375
i think you mean stinking

It tastes

>>14278560

>when I realized that everyone who can’t cook is a fucking joke

too fucking true. simplest and fastest way to discern whether or not someone is worth a relationship (both romantic and platonic) is to find out how good a cook they are.

>>14279985

>>14285575
What if you want the upper hand and the means to impress?

>>14285381

inspired by the works of

>>14279985
Sure pal

>>14282196
Nice, what recipe did you use?

>>14285575
but anon, my gf sucks at cooking and I still love her, impressing her with the most basic thing is comfy

>>14286555
$20 says she'll leave you once she senses greener pastures elsewhere

>>14286605
I’m the same as the other guy and $20 says you’re alone right now, fag

>>14278577
It's crossboard slang, nigger. That's not something you call someone a newfag for not knowing.

>>14287316
females are toxic, will steal your money eat all your food and give you 7 types of cancer

>>14278560
no doubt you would suck your own dick clean if you flexible enough

>>14279985

>>14278505
>sister watches tasty videos
>my sister presents herself to cook pancakes
>beats egg whites and folds in other ingredients like a sponge cake
>however she doesn't cook the batter in molds so they flatten out when poured into pan
>tells everybody in the family that japanese pancakes are supposed to be tough and dry like that
>even she drowns her own pancake in butter and syrup because it's tasteless
>I stop her from making pancakes one day and cook them instead
>cook regular pancakes with milk and a bit of melted butter in the batter
>softer and tastier than her pancakes
>grandparents forbid her from cooking pancakes ever since then
grandparents have no chill like they're gonna die soon they aren't gonna waste their little time eating shitty food just to make little whoretana grace feel good about herself

>>14287428
Every dick-having person would suck their own dick if they are flexible enough. Not wanting to do so is just crazy talk

>>14285640
that belly hhhhhhng

>>14285640
?

>>14280297
Thanks for the morning pick me up anon. Even with eye bags and shaggy hair I mog everyone at that table

>>14284717
>>visit new grandmother

How the fuck you get a new grandmother?

>>14278505
>friend always talking about he's a great cook
>he's not
>says he's going to make carbonara for our group of friends
>grey meat with too much egg and pasta water, basically a noodle soup with bits of pork
>no one says a word about it, actually feel bad for my friend
>fast forward a month, I make carbonara for few of my friends
>they love it
>next time we're about to hang out they ask if I could make 'nara
>oblige and make it for the group
>the dude who made the original carbonara says it has a bit too much pepper for his liking, no one agrees with him
>"I suppose I could've made it a bit more watery if I had wanted to"
>friend rolls his eyes and says "whatever"
I used to live in the same dorm as him so we've had bants about food regularly in the past so I don't think there's any hard feelings

>>14278510
>>14279985
>>14280282
>>14280306
>>14285260
>>14285285
>>14285381
Go back to fucking your dog you triggered autist.

>>14288119
how come catfaggots think about having sex with dogs so much?

>>14285381
That cat has a good diet to get a log that consistent.

>>14287327
Shut up, newfag

>>14278510
>retard with dogshit streaks in carpet

>>14289030
>retard whose house smells like piss and shit always

>>14279985
cringe

>>14278563
It comes from the term AMOG
>a man of G*d
Blessings upon you good sir

>>14287976
I got married.