/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Ass

my ex went to jail for a few days. He learned how to make 'ramen noodle burritos' while he was in there.
the recipe varies from jail to jail, but they're made with things you can get in commissary & you can cook it right in the bags..
They literally mash up dry ramen and put hot water in the bag, then they mash up doritos, hot cheetos, whatever crunchy shit they can get, and then they smash it into a brick burrito shape and then they douse it in hot sauce and eat it.
I tried one. it was... not unbearable.
I tried making one with JUST the ramen, ntohing else, just mashed the ramen into a semi-cooked brick and it's better. but def not a prison burrito.
the end.

>>14211178
I got executed one time, the standard large meal was okay

>>14211178
>medium rare
>a lot of horseradish

a man of fine taste

>>14211194
why did you go out with a convict?

>>14211178
I've had a couple friends that were in prison and/or jail. They recommend to not be there.

>>14211178
It’s pretty shitty. But man lemme tell you about what my old boss did for me
>go to medium security state prison for drug charges
>Within a year I get bumped down to minimum security
>I get to work in the farm land in South Florida
>call my cousin and he tells my boss
>my boss comes in contact with one of the guards and sets up a surprise for me
>I go to one of the tractors I work on and when I get there (looked kinda like pic related) and there is a zuppe di pesce, some garlic rolls, a six pack of gushers and a tiramisu waiting there for me
I also ate a lot of shit like >>14211194 and tuna and honey buns too.

>>14211218
He got arrested after we'd been together. Dipshit didn't pay some fines for traffic shit.
He was retarded and Mexican.

>>14211178
It's general school/hospital cafeteria food

>>14211178
I went to jail in Japan.
Meals are served in the cells. It's served as a bento, three meals a day. Cold obviously. Stone fuckin cold we never got hot food.

The meal provider changed so there were two different kinds of bento.

The first kind you got a potato croquette and various vegetable sides. And neon pink pickles. The rice comes in another box. Meat was a rarity; occasionally you found scraps. Spinach, burdock root, konjac and eggplant were common.

The worst part was you got that fucking potato croquette three meals a day, every single day. My cellmate ate over 500 croquettes in a row.

You got hot water in a bowl with breakfast and dinner. For lunch a bit of miso paste is placed in a bowl and you get a bland miso soup. You can ask the guard pouring the water for you to pour less so the taste becomes stronger, but that's up to them. Cups are non-existent for whatever reason.

After the provider changed we actually got a small egg or a small bony piece of fish for breakfast.
You also got these weird kelp pickles and neon yellow pickles with each meal. Also five (count em) sweet peas. I think they stewed the peas in sugar water or something. It was weird.

After they changed the provider we moved to a weekly diet. It was better but still pretty bad. At least we got more meat.

0/5 stars, would not return.

>>14211285
You're just going to leave us hanging here, aren't you? Come on... what happened?

>>14211264
Its not just that. I got nailed through no fault of my own for "open container." $25.
The most important thing is to man up and show up at court and not be some dericlt weidro. Thing is I didn't have the cash on me so explained that to the court and the bailiff and they let me pay it off until my paycheck was cashed.
That was really stupid of me and I know it.

None of food has any salt, which is why everyone goes nuts for commissary shit. It's the only way you can get food that tastes like anything.

>>14211285
Even that sounds superior to the average whiteoid diet.

>>14211285
How’d you end up in jail?

>>14211291
>>14211311
I'd rather not say, but I will say that I was not on the bottom rung of prisoners, aka those who commit sexual crimes / crimes involving children or old people.

>>14211307
Well, you will lose weight. Like >>14211298
said NOTHING is seasoned.
And it's stone cold.
Try eating stone cold rice with pickles, spinach and a potato croquette, three meals a day (you can swap the spinach for eggplant or konjac if you are feeling fancy). I'd be surprised if you made it past a week. Remember, no seasoning and everything has to be cold.

Never been in jail, though I did cook at a correctional facility for minors. I could make them (and the guards) whatever I wanted to that day. Pretty much had zero budgetary restrictions. That was a boring but well-paying gig.

>>14211321
Just say it. No ones judging you. Tell you what you say why you went to jail and I’ll tell you how I >>14211239 ended up in jail.

No, but I've been hospitalized a lot.
>be in bad condition with no appetite
>expect me to eat sterile benign cafeteria food on steroids multiple times a day
It has to be as easily as digestible as possible for the elderly and diseased, totally bland for the plebs, no sodium and no anything else, and nobody can be allergic or have religious issues with it. Also it has been refrigerated for ages.
The nurses would get mad at me for not wanting to eat but I had one based nurse that hated the food too and didn't try to make me eat it.

BEHOLD!

>>14211327
Drug trafficking.

>>14211327
I won't go into detail, but it turns out if you burn a nation's flag on Japanese soil and the nation requests you be charged for it, there is criminal liability under Japanese law.

>>14211341
Oh shit that sucks. How long were you locked up for? I heard the drug trade in Japan is not as saturated as somewhere like the UK or big American cities.

>>14211341
>>14211342
Wait which is it?

>>14211342
Lmao I wish I was charged for that, I'm sure not much jail time would be involved.

>>14211343
I did 2 months, I'm awaiting trial and sentencing. Out on bail.
I bought those drugs for my own personal use so I hope to receive a suspended sentence.

What about you? What drug charges were you in on? Possession?

>>14211327
Does this sound pretty bad?
I ripped water ballons on perfect arcs from 20 floors up cars and got caught for it, perfect shots on moving cars.
My awesome mom talked the folk out of pressing charges. That's just fun NYC stuff.

>>14211354
Doubt you would have gone to prison anyway. That's some faggy kid shit

>>14211371
Yeah, right.

I was one of 6 cooks that fed a 2000 person jail. The food is notoriously horrible. Everybody in the american system knows about bologna sandwhiches. Thats what we eat for lunch every day.

3am every morning us cooks would be called out of bed and sent to the kitchen to start breakfast. Thered be prep cooks that were a team of six that had knives chained to a table and theyd cut all our potatos and root veggies for us while the cooks opened crates of canned veggies. Then we'd fill up these massive kettles with boiling hot water. Most everything was cooked in the 8 kettles (pic related) we had in rotations. Sometimes we'd do stuff like cornbread which was just prepackaged frozen blocks wed put on racks in huge walk in ovens.

Typical hot meal would be some kind of "protein", 2 different veggies (always from cans), and then a desert of some kind (usually jello or cornbread).

Now this is where it gets fucked up. 5 days a week your proteins are coming out of powdered beef chip bags. These are like 50 pound bags of dried powder and chips made out of soylent. So lets say that night for dinner it says we're having beef stroganoff. What the cooks would do is go back, grab a few bags of the "beef stroganoff" mulch, rip em open, and dump the powder into the kettles. Then we'd stir it around until it formed into noodle/beef shaped and scoop it out on these massive scoops before sending it to plating where all the heroin junkies just had to make sure not to spill it all over the trays. Reminder, this is not beef, its all soy product shaped like beef or chicken or whatever so your nipples get super puffy and bouncy and you grow moobs and shit.

Really bad stuff they serve in there, as a professional chef it horrified me seeing what they were serving to the inmates. Only plus of the kettles was that they were a SOLID workout. All the cooks got super ripped stirring that dog food around for hours on end.

>>14211384
wtf you didn't even have a boiler? You manually put boiled water in the jacket?

>>14211384
kek

>>14211350
Possession with intent and a weapons possession charge but that got dropped since I had a CC permit. Someone who I thought was a good friend of mine asked me to buy a large quantity of drugs on his behalf while we were at a party in a hotel Miami Beach. I went and bought an ounce of coke and when I came back to get my car valet parked some unmarked cars boxed me in and I got arrested.
My friend had gotten arrested a few days earlier for beating the shit out of his fiancé (didn’t know this) and was on his third strike (knew this) but was also an informant in order to stay out of jail (obviously didn’t know this either). So he set me up in order to have someone to give up to the cops so he would be able to stay out of jail. He did it like an asshole too
>hey anon, let’s buy some coke!
>yea sure
>everyone anons going to buy some coke let’s chip in and get our money together
>between all of us we have enough for a half ounce and he decides to match it to make a full ounce (which carriers a much bigger penalty under Florida law)
>initially get charged for armed drug trafficking (carries a 5 year to life sentence) but it gets dropped down to possession with intent and the weapons possession charge that got dropped since I had a permit for the gun and the gun was in my glove box
>also got into a fight in jail and got charged for that too but that got dropped as well since neither of us cooperated.
>plead guilty and get sentenced to 4 years state time, first offense also so I got lucky. I had a good attorney also I spent like $25K on.
>didn’t cooperate so people always filled my commissary with money.

motherfucking tater tot casserole fridays
>jail in bumfuck nowhere
>for stuff
>weekly menu serving breakfast lunch and dinner
>got put in work release but wasn't put in kitchen (thank god)
>breakfast was worlds worst coffee, assorted shitty cereals, and toast/jam most mornings
>french toast with cardboard sausage and eggs on sundays
>basic stuff for lunch like grilled cheese, tuna, and pb&j sandwiches
>one day was minestrone in salt water for lunch which was always awful and left me starving by dinner
>actually had some pretty based dinners
>meatloaf and mashed potatoes, meatloaf was covered with layer of ketchup
>make your own tacos featuring lettuce even a rabbit wouldn't eat
>but tater tot casserole fridays btfo everything
>other work release inmates that worked in kitchen would eat leftovers and come back almost in food comas
>get out of jail
>looked back on it so fondly i decided to start making it at home

>>14211401
What a fucking rat. I'm sorry you went through that anon. Also fuck drug laws and police.

>>14211371
How am I "faggy" for avoiding prison?
I'm not being snarky but you're the one that went to prison.

>>14211401
>an ounce of coke
this is how i know youre story is full of shit

>>14211409
Fuckin' rats. Here's one with a link about a page down.
It's pretty creepy.
https://www.escape-suspense.com/2007/02/escape_three_sk.html

https://www.escape-suspense.com/files/three_skeleton_key.mp3

>>14211425
How? Look up Florida drug trafficking statues.

>>14211413
You're not faggy at all for avoiding prison, that's just the smart thing to do. I'm saying in the eyes of the law what you did probably wasn't serious enough to warrant a prison sentence when there are violent offenders out there. Aka just some faggy kid shit, same as vandalising a wall or something

>>14211218
If you live in the US you may realize that it’s extremely easy to end up locked up for stupid reasons. I got locked up for 15 days on a suspected DUI because the judge wanted to “make a lesson” out of me and didn’t release me from jail the first night like they usually do. I was pulled over for failure to signal on a right hand turn, was not breathalyzed or given a field sobriety test and simply thrown in the cops car and taken off. I was on a date and hadn’t had a drink or drug in me. I of course beat the case because there was no reasonable suspicion and the cop was just an asshole faggot. If you actually respect the laws of this country just because they say they’re laws you’re a boot licking faggot and if you respect cops just for being cops you should off yourself.

I’m white, not a nigger.

>>14211449
If? So that means that you don't and are just making shit up? Have some fun making some shit up about the USA, we know that you foreiners are not only jealous but also just make shit up because you're sloppy shits that hate Trump.

>>14211464
Where did you learn English? It's not your first language, I hope.

>>14211449
This is true, U.S. police and law enforcement in general only exist to provide yet another way to tax a populous, along with being the beta male, white knight legion that will protect the interests of banks and insurance companies before the citizenry they're supposed to "protect and serve".

>>14211464
I’m not making up shit about the US. I live in Pennsylvania you fucking retard. Have lived here my entire life. You just sound offended. Did my story hit a nerve because it shattered your childhood images of smiling police men with yapping puppy dogs like the Playskool toys used to teach you?

>>14211449
I always find it funny when schoolgirls such are you are never specifc about anything, but hate the USA. You're pathetic.

>>14211464
Is this a poorly made bot, yang dang shabang in chinko pinko land, or one based schizoposter?

>>14211475
>Pennsylvania
Hahaha, why in fuck would I be offended by some faggot in Pennsylvania?
Get over yourself.

>>14211487
I don’t hate the US, retard. I hate our laws and legal system which are just money making machines designed to incarcerate people for stupid shit.

>>14211490
Might be a siggity doo.
Maybe.

>>14211497
>ur a foreigner
>lol not offended cuz cus ur not a foreigner
Make up you mind, offended little baby.

>>14211498
hypocrite you are

>>14211502
right

>>14211503
You shouldn't conflate a love for the institutions that are undermining your nation with a love for your nation.

>>14211502
So what you said is that, I'm not a foreigner from PA. I'm from NY, I don't have to deal with you faggots.

I notice a lot of people in jail love police until they get locked up for stupid shit and realise how fucked the system is. Not even talking about the USA I mean all over the world. I hope all of you crying retards go to jail someday for some small shit you may not even have done. You think you're invincible, you're the big shit, the fucking cheddar cheese. And then you get locked up, and you realise the laws suck. Fuck all police.

>>14211503
>using words I don't know the meaning of
underage b&
this pandemic shit found a way to make you kids even more stupid, God help us all

>>14211503
How? I told my story and explained why it made me hate our legal system. I brought up the US because it’s an issue relative to the US but didn’t say that I hate the US. I’ve been provided great work opportunities and living conditions from living in the US and my only qualm is the “justice system” and that’s what I’m complaining about. I’m done arguing because you’re too retarded to take my words for what they are and feel the need to inject your /pol/ddit conspiracy bullshit in there to accuse me of being some “libtard foreigner” or whatever you’re getting at (despite me being more libertarian than anything else). I just hope bootlicking faggots like you experience something like I did one day and learn that cops truly aren’t you’re friends. Maybe once you graduate high school and the world stops trying to protect you.

>>14211342
Lmao get fucked, commie scum.

>>14211512
I've dealt with you twats with you before, and you never answer specific questions.
Therefore you're baiters and are useless.

>>14211517
Go wear a mask, you might try but it might keep the homo out of you.

>>14211523
What, like name and phone number? Go take a walk, CIA.

>>14211520
That means nothing without specifics.
You're just being a dumbass twat and you know it.

>>14211264
>Dipshit didn't pay some fines for traffic shit.
>Goes to jail
>The place where they lock up actual criminals
>For not paying a fucking ticket

>>14211520
Don't argue with these fags, there are too many bootlicking u DeSerVe tO go 2 JAIL faggots on 4chan ironically. Hope they all get a taste of the justice system one day.

>>14211523
What a whiny troll you are. Go to bed.

>>14211523
>twats
>God save the queen bruv
>I'm an American though, I promise

>>14211178

I'm a bong.
Been to prison for 3 weeks on remand for a crime I did not commit. Also spent a similar time in hospital having broken my neck.
UK prison food is much better than UK hospital food.
It's not going to win awards but it's carb heavy stuff like chill con carne, spag bol, sausage and mash etc.
Big helpings that sedate you enough you can nap most of the day.
Hospital food is stuff like a chicken sandwich made with a single slice of wafer thin processed chicken and 2 slices of cheap shit bread and a chemical flavoured low fat yoghurt.

>>14211526
Where do you make your shit up from?

>>14211530
Seriously. I couldn’t imagine attempting the mental gymnastics these faggots are pulling without breaking something.

>>14211537
>Where do you make your shit up from? Cops r da best xD

>>14211530
It's easy for them to run their mouth about a system that rarely comes after shut-in shabbos goys. Obedient dogs if nothing else.

>>14211543
>>14211546
Pretty much. These are the first guys to start crying for their mamas when they get arrested.

>>14211555
Why would you want to get arrested in the first place?

>>14211536
Is it true people get arrested there repeatedly and intentionally because the prison system is so much better than homelessness? Getting a real piece of meat in any prison/jail is a godsend.

>>14211555
Stick to minimum wage cocksuckers and protest like faggots.

>>14211565
Stupid nigs get out of the rain and three squares a day.

>>14211563
>>14211568
I dont live in the United States of Shit or Europoor but you DO understand u can get arrested for doing nothing just because a cop thinks u fucked up right? I dont give a damn about BLM but police are honestly the fucking worst.

>>14211563
Man, it's not always a choice. Police officers are humans with a capacity for emotions even when unwarranted(like spite or jealousy) and a capacity for error in judgement. Mistaken and/or malicious accusations occur on a daily basis the world over.

>>14211568
I can hear those lips puckering from here. Careful not to get any shit on your nose, goy.

>>14211572
Is there any mechanism in place that has the potential to stop someone doing exactly that until their demise?

>>14211587
What's your point? Be specifc if you can.

>>14211178
Best shit you get there is Ramen noodles. I wouldn't touch anything that isn't package sealed.

>>14211588
I know, given these days or any days it's better than being shot by some crackheaded weirdo.

>>14211599
The will to survive and not to harm others.

>>14211568
If you think I go play monkey games in the street or that at the end of the day the monkeys and white knights aren't playing for the same exact team.....Then Shalom there Schlomo, your nose is busting through the screen.

>>14211614
You have a lot of "key words" there that only you seem to know about. You might might take those words and stuff them where the sun don't shine, because I don't care about them and I suspect that nobody in NY does either.

>>14211587
Seconded, I don't understand why I either have to support government criminals or street criminals. I live in a shithole >50% black ghetto, tweekers are constantly doing dumb shit, and nigs are constantly yelling, fighting, and peacefully sorting out their domestic abuse problems loudly at midnight, but the police have come a total of once when we've called them, and that was only because my house got robbed, even then they didn't do jack shit to figure out who did it.

>>14211614
You write like a monkey.
Do you need a coin?

>>14211407
>but tater tot casserole fridays btfo everything

What was in it anon?

>>14211632
Have you considered that why given that you're an adult, a requirement for posting here, that you've not gotten out of that shitty neighborhood instead of whining like a bitch?

>>14211645
I spend all my money on useless shit because I'm a hedonistic NEET. What do you expect?

>>14211652
This is /ck, I don't expect anything.

>>14211194
He was gone for a few days and he had to JUST HAD TO make that

god bless amerilards

>>14211285
>Also five (count em)
I lost it.
Did you lose a toe? I heard Japanese prison is brutal about not providing bedding or heating.

>>14211178

Military (Mental) Hospital, basically a prison
24 beds in an open room
Yellow line 1 foot behind beds, no crossing
3 times to bathroom per day
No in bed from 5am to 10pm
8 chairs, no sitting unless in a chair

Meals, 6am, noon, 6pm
Must be seated at table to eat
30 minutes to eat
Again, 8 chairs
Can not make someone get up
Don't eat, put on lithium

Food was cold, always
Breakfast
Oatmeal, banana with warm milk

Lunch
Cheese sandwich, apple, orange juice

Dinner
Broiled, skinless chicken breast, green beans, warm milk

Everyday for 9 months

Family finally got me transferred to a civilian hospital, then I got out

I haven't any of that food since

Lost a bunch of weight

Met a Negro Marine who never slept, always stood up

Met a really, really fat Navy guy who masturbated nonstop

Almost forgot, the lights never turned off

Had a nurse that played a DVD on our television his whole shift: Season 3 Finale of Dallas: Episode 25; A House Divided, also known as "Who Shot JR", in Spanish.

what i do on the weekends is stake out bars all throughout the area. i find a nice secluded place to get a good view of people leaving the bar. when i see people that look drunk and enter their car i immediately call the police and listen on the scanner for when they get arrested

>>14211706
>Military (Mental) Hospital
The conditions you describe sound inhumane and not suitable to anyone's mental condition.

Daily reminder that americans call their coutry "Land of the Free".

>>14211706
Keep your head and get out of there and back to real life. Not everyone is a target.

>>14211730
Piss off hypocrite, what "free" nation are you from?

>>14211739
... 99.99% of the time I always get ***crickets*** from that question.

>>14211739
Switzerland.
Americans are the hypocrites, not me.
Enjoy having a larger carceral population than fucking China lmao

>>14211755
switzerfags, yeah ok...
Isn't your nation thousands of years old, so why are you blaming a nation that's not even 250 years old for all of your problems?
It makes you come across as foolish idiots.

>>14211530
My little anon can't be this naive.
4chan is full of people that are so socially retarded, being contrarians for the sake of it is their only means of getting something vaguely reminiscient of human interaction.
(You)s is quite literally the only reason they do it, and the only way to win is not to play.

>>14211178
I was jailed for hate speech after criticizing Israel. I'm glad I moved away from America, a nation of servile cowards.

>>14211762
>so why are you blaming a nation that's not even 250 years old for all of your problems?
What the fuck are you talking about? I'm just making fun of the hypocrisy of American society.

>>14211684
Where dis you read those words? All I can find is "learned."

>>14211768
Just remember the old saying that when giving one finger to others that four others are to yourselves.
That's four to hypocrites such as yourselves.

>>14211767
Bullshit. I'm calling you out on that, not because of Isreal but because you're claiming shit that didn't happen.
If it was so important to you that you "moved away" because of a speech that you can't post it?
You're full of shit and you know it!
g

>>14211798
You make no sense.
How am I an hypocrite?

>nutraloaf

Seems nice and refreshing I wonder why west coast vegan food trucks haven't picked this up yet

>>14211813
Piss off, no matter what I write a faggot such as you will make yourself look like a twat.

>>14211813
Go wear a mask or something.

>>14211817
I get it, you're retarded.

>>14211819
Go get shot or something.

>>14211825
Compared to being a mask wearing faggot such as you then being retardard is a compliment.

>>14211865
Ok, retard. Keep being an assblasted trumptard, i'm enjoying every minutes of it.

>>14211869
That explains you, you're an arm flailing retard.

>>14211869
One can tell a true retard by whether or not they can support the clinton/bidon sceme, If they can they're sull of shit.

>>14211869
How is Trump "assblasted?"
He assblasted that shillary/clinton thing right out, duh.

>>14211878
>>14211883
don't worry, trump, biden, hillary. They all have he same boss.

>>14211886
>american reading comprehension

>>14211887
Ever have a really bad shit after some drinking, that's pelosi and schmucky schumer being expelled.

>>14211487
that was...pretty specific dip shit. he was wrongfully arrested

>>14211475
wrongful arrests are extremely common in the USA. did you not know that, or are you just such a bootlicker that you're in denial? you really think it can't happen to you?

>>14211687
Yeah, there's no bed in the cell.

You get to take bedding at night from a separate room and put it away in the morning back in that room. So you can't sleep in the day. The futons are dirty as fuck. My cellie got one that was close to ten years old and was stained brown from bodily fluids. All our shit was stained and gross. I told him to rip it to get a new one. It was fucking loud and we were scared the guards heard but he got a change to a cleaner one. They're fucking thin as well. It feels like sleeping on cardboard. I would wrap a blanket around mine and brave the cold. It was freezing and shivering the night away was pretty much standard. Sometimes it was so cold you'd wake up.

You aren't allowed to talk to ANYONE. You can only speak or write in Japanese. You can not share food or books or anything. Notebooks were banned before I got in but my cellie had one cause he'd been inside a while.

The lights are also on 24/7.

>>14211706
That sounds way worse then prison
How the fuck is that suposed to help anyone?

>>14211487
I'm convinced this is trolling to make Trumptards look even more retarded, but chances are this guy's not kidding.

>>14211965
Newsflash, prison and mental institutions do not help anyone. They exist to shut people away out of sight of the rest of the population. Conditions are generally inhumane and people inside are treated worse than animals in a zoo. Welcome to the world.

>>14211523
>>14211537
>>14211525
>>14211503
>>14211528
Confirmed faggot troll

>>14211972
This is what a prison cell looks like here

>>14211979
And this one is for mentally ill criminals

>>14211979
And here's a diagram of the cell I was locked in when I got arrested in Japan.

Do note the complete lack of furniture or personal possessions.

>>14211987
Yeah and Japans criminall systems super retarded. Its basically guilty until proven innocent

>>14211915
He was properly arrested but like most millennials nothing is ever his fault. Cops are the good guys and anyone over 35 is ok with doing the time if they do the crime. I personally think criminals shou,d eat bread and water so they come out of prison too weak to commit more crimes. Thank you police we need you more than ever. Just stop committing crime every 5 seconds and you will never interact wit a cop

>>14211996
Pretty much and they can lock you in until you make a confession which is used as evidence in the trial.

Also your lawyer can't be present at an interrogation.

>>14211920
wrongful arrests are extremely rare in the USA. did you not know that, or are you just such a criminalsucker that you're in denial? you really think it can happen to you?

>>14212001

>>14211972
Prison isnt like Disneyland they wont make mickey mouse shaped pancakes topped with gold flakes and whipped cream life is so unfair all I did was beat up an old woman and broke her spine and paralyzed her. It's not fair

Does anyone know what kind of food cops like I want to buy them some gift cards or such from mid tier restaurants they are working so hard right now keeping us safe we should make sure they are fueled up before they have to beat up rioters. I was thinking PFChangs and Gerardos Steakhouse for the ethnic flavanols and virtue signaling props ya know

>>14212018
o shit, I found your picture from your mama's photo album!

>>14211502
pennsylvania is obviously some kind of foreign country dude you're not fooling us

>>14211545
>Fuck the police
>FUCKING BOOTLICKERS
>im so sorry mr nigger let me lick ur boots.

>>14212046
u can hate police and niggers at the same time. suck more nigger cop dick faggot

Arrested by secret service, counterfeiting, knew what was happening but not really involved in process. Sentenced 1 year, go to country club prison, no walls fence looks like college campus from outside yellow lines painted on ground cross u go to real prison, all fucking big time gangsters lawyers wall street guys, drug dealers 1 judge tennis court racketball handball even fucking bocci courts for the wops, crime does pay anon if you get sent to a place like this. Oh yeah shrimp a few times a month on fridays

>>14212049
Sorry, but if actually give a shit if some crackhead nigger was choked to death by the cops u are a faggot.

>>14212046
based strawman retard

>>14212058
read my post again and tell me where I said I give a damn about floyd, you inbred product of american education system

>based strawman retard

>>14211730
>implying you don't disavow your rights the moment you violet those of another person

>>14212058
One time I was peeing on a cop car and a pig came behind me and dead-legged me

>>14212001
holy shit how could anyone be this retarded its mind blowing

>>14212202
explain to me how driving 80 down an empty, open highway violates the rights over another person

>>14212208
Why do you rob a liquor store and restaurant and cry when you get arrested. Just like it's your job to be a thief it's the popos job to arrest you and beat you up.

>>14212209
>what is acting on principle
you don't do it on an empty road so you wouldn't do it on a busy road some other time. people tend toward consistency

>>14212209
Because you will kill someone you stupid criminal it's no different than shooting up a restaurant and saying well I didn't hit anyone or robbing a McDonald's and saying but McDonalds isnt a person so no one got hurt. Grow up kid and stop pretending you are Robin hood because you beat up a cashier

I got 2 of these. Spent the night in the drunk tank

>>14212057
i too read the brethren

>>14212212
>>14212215
>>14212225
holy shit you fuckers lick boot. if ya'll really hate freedom that much move to a communist country. nobody is talking about driving in their own god damn vehicles.

>>14212252
I was also in the drubk tank but I got the regular jail food
>breakfast: some kind of juice, cereal, milk, coffee cake that was really good
>lunch: fried rice with chicken, really bland peas, mandarin oranges
>dinner: spaghetti with meat sauce, green beans, toast with butter and garlic salt
It was all very bland but not awful

>>14212289

You get fed while in the drunk tank?

>>14212271
I love freedom that's why I hate criminals like you you expect to be celebrated for robbing a McDonalds go suck off some more criminals for your protein fix you nasty criminal and may you eat moldy nutraloaf in your next prison

>>14212302
Yeah I was there all day waiting for a judge

>>14211178
Only for 2 nights and it was cheap balogna. Also I was in holding for 25 hours

>>14212303
my god it's surreal how little one person can learn in a lifetime. it's a shame our education system produces people like you who don't understand anything about the world. maybe wait until you turn 18 before you use this board.

Haven't been to jail but I've been locked up a few times

Once I woke up in the morning to cheese and ham crossaints. Not exactly high-quality cheese or ham, but it wasn't bad tbqh. I would have liked it heated so it gets a 5/10.

Another time they have us these disgusting looking cheese sandwiches. I either gave mine to a crackhead or discarded it, can't remember which.

Fuck lockup.
>t.not American

>>14212344
I'm a boomer kiddo and for some reason you kids feel entitled to commit crimes and be celebrated for doing so but no normal person will celebrate you robbing McDonalds for racial justice we will celebrate you going to prison and eating the shittiest food possible

my buddy was a foreman in a prison here in canada so I know a bit but haven't gotten to experience much more prison than seeing inmates walking around outside when helping him with shit, prison with the honor system is weird.

some prisons have inmates make what are more or less really shitty hungrymans for other prisons.
they cook, pour it into trays, freeze it, and ship it off to smaller prisons which then reheat the shit and they eat it
apparently it was bad enough a lot of them were suddenly converting to different religions to get other food, and probably helped lead to some riots but I think that program is still going on

in the prison my buddy worked at the prisoners could get canned foods and metal cutlery no issue, but metal detectors were only on the paths leading out from the cells not to the way back which is pretty messed up in my mind since this is what supposedly passes as maximum security in canada
they also slaughtered cattle and the knives they used for butchery weren't chained to the tables or anything like an anon mentioned earlier in this thread
the inmates on especially good behaviour are actually allowed to leave a certain distance as long as they return so they can even get fast food, but those guys are all basically old people who have been good boys for like 15 years since getting in, some even have actual jobs in the community, so it probably isn't out of the question for these guys to bring in 'real' food to trade around.

tl;dr pick canada for your next prison stay

>>14211307
Idk man, that's not a lot of fats, but lots of carbs. That's pretty much a way to pack on pounds while engendered vitamin deficiencies

>>14212018
Holy fucking strawman son.

>>14211178
yeah it was a sausage mcmuffin

>>14211178

>>14212426
Where in any of his posts did he say people should be celebrated for committing crimes?

>>14212307
>>14212323
Holding is the worst, they kept me in for 72 hours because the first two times they took me to see a magistrate I kept calling her a cunt and telling her she was a dumb bitch

I was there for about 9 months. Food is shit, even with getting the maximum amount of commissary allowed. I will never eat ramen noodles again, for any reason. Not recommended at all.

>>14211210
What the fuck are you talking about

>>14211178
>>14211178
Yep did 5 years for aggravated assault on my now ex girlfriend. It was a plea, down from attempted murder. Food was shit. Powdered eggs, frozen hashbrowns that were just fried up and covered in too much salt, stews with mystery meat, really really low tier pasta if you're lucky, bland soggy vegetables. Dessert you would sometimes get a cheap cookie or fudge brownie. It was shit. Even the orange juice was shit. The first thing I did when I got out was order a large pizza with pepperoni, extra cheese, mushrooms, jalapenos, olives and anchovies, picked up a couple of chicken donairs, fries, fillet beef steaks, perogies, bacon, onions, and just fucking had a feast. I didn't eat all that food obviously but I basically made a buffet for myself and had 3 large plates of food and a bottle of whiskey. My advice, don't ever go to jail. I got a felony now and would be fucked if I didn't have the sympathy of a childhood friend who has his own IT company and sympathized with my situation.

>>14213365
Cont
The only good thing now that I remember was since I didn't cause any problems the co asked if I wanted to be a morning/ afternoon worker, so I got as many breakfasts as I wanted, and it was the only meal I looked forward too there.
And being a worker I could hang out in the day room & make calls or whatever while everyone else is locked in their cell. Still fucking sucked but I had it better than most.

>>14212002
That's shit. How does anyone deal with it?

>>14212007
You are a liar

>>14211285
Im gonna assume Marine did something stupid and his CoC couldnt bail him out. But since youre writing this now, youre not the retard who ran over that old dude in a 7ton

>>14212001

>>14213394
t. Orlando

>>14211786
>eurocucks

Was in the Navy and did galley duty for a bit. Navy food is about 99% the same as prison. From the suppliers to the cooking tools.
The food is usually purposely cooked bland as shit because the majority of people are picky little bitches that throw a shitfit if their food isnt as bland as their tired as fuck, basic bitch mom made.
Plain everything. Most of it boiled or steam heated. Sometimes oven heated. Grill was typically reserved for omlettes or special occasions. Alternating meals between plain and doused with hot sauce was the best way to choke it down.
The worst part is that the cooks are usually decent cooks, they fucking went to training, but the just dont have the time, patience, or resources to put out anything decent.
There's also a store on just about every boat that prison-tier junk food. Candy, soup cups, etc.
Served with multiple guys that were in prison prior and they ALL said prison was an easier version of the Navy, the Navy just pays slightly more, more regularly.

>>14211178
There was this bread like thing that looked like corn bread, felt like a biscuit, and had less taste than water, It was served with every meal. None of the food had taste, and I don't mean that it was bland, I mean it was absent of taste like water. The coffee was just hot water that looked like coffee. We had "koolaid" sometimes that was just red water with a tiny bit of sugar, just enough to notice. The best meal I had was a slice of boiled ham with "gravy". The gravy was just water, corn starch, and salt.

>>14211962
Sounds horrible. At least there's no threat of ass rape and gang violence like they say about American prisons. You still live in Japan?

>>14211322
What did you generally make?

>>14211178
There's a reason prisoners eat each others ass. Only flavor you'll get in prison.

>>14214109
>people bitching about flavor forcing everyone to eat flavorless slop

I hate this. It took me years to break my now waifu out of this.

>>14211819
>>14211865
Are you proud of how many Americans are infected with covid or am I missing something

>>14211865
Take your meds schizo and stop spazzing out in every thread.

>>14212007
America has the highest incarcerated population in the entire world by every single metric.

I've spent about four weeks in the loony bin, does that count?

>be in college
>no bank or credit cards, so I show up to pay speeding ticket in person with cash
>get there, give info to clerk to the clerk, reach for my wallet
>realize I forgot my wallet at home for the first time in my life. Politely tell her that I live a few minutes away so I'll go get it and be right back.
>clerk immediately gets bitchy with me, tells me that I'm a week late on the ticket. I apologize, repeat that I'll be right back
>clerk says that because my ticket is late, if I try to leave now they're going to arrest me in the parking lot
>ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing.jpg
>look around for someone to share in my outrage. see heroic ladycop has already taken position at the door, eagerly preparing to tread on me
>clerk says I can either have someone bring the money (I have no one), try to leave and be arrested and charged with something else, or go to jail now and wait to speak with the judge this evening and ask to be let out
>99% sure something about this is bullshit, but I have no other options at the moment
>agree to be handcuffed, booked, stripped, and spend the next eight fucking hours sitting next to actual thugs and criminals on a backless metal bench while they commentate on daytime court shows
>Meet judge that evening. He seems confused as to why I'm here, immediately lets me out.
Anyway, for dinner I had cheery kool-aid with one boiled hot dog on a stale bun with a slice of imitation cheese.

>>14211178
My uncle is a janitor in jail. We are in eastern europe. The food is shit compared to everyday home cooked food, but at least it's real food. Mostly stews, soups, lots of cabbage, pickles and potatoes. Sandwiches with bologna and cheese for breakfast, bread and liver pate, margarine, cream cheese, fruit marmalade etc. It's not inedible ultra processed garbage like american jail food.

>>14212001
Get a load of this senile boomer fuck. This faggot is practically foaming at the mouth on 4chan kek.

>>14215439
Shit like this does happen in the USA, in case non-Americans are wondering. Stuff like this probably doesn't even happen in the backwaters of China. I sincerely understand why the rest of the World hates the USA so much.

from what i can remember, the food in USMC boot camp was leagues ahead of anything i ever ate in public school

>>14211342
>foreigner who comes to Japan and protests to try to get Japanese people to care about his shitty cause and make people online think Japanese people care about his cause
You faggots are the worst, and they should have locked you up longer.

>>14215439
I assume filing a complaint about the retarded clerk would have been pointless?

>>14215530
>Stuff like this probably doesn't even happen in the backwaters of China. I sincerely understand why the rest of the World hates the USA so much.
There's a lot of things in the US that are fucked up, but if you actually believe that you get worse treatment in the US than "the backwaters of china," you're braindead. I've seen the worst conditions the US has to offer and I'd still take that over most of the rest of the world.

>>14215675
Completely. It happened in a relatively small city, but one of the most police-dense ones in the nation. They had an strong culture of worshiping law enforcement and the prison system. I actually worked as a prison guard in that town for a while. The food there, by the way, was much better than jail, but that's not saying a lot. It was also extremely unhealthy and would fatten you up immediately. The only reason inmates get jacked in prison is because working out is the only pastime most of them have. The ones who don't work out leave morbidly obese, without exception. Those retards were nuts about the scrambled eggs and fried chicken, though. Chicken was okay, never had the eggs. There was a story I heard about a guy who tried to sneak out of the cafeteria with a fried chicken thigh up his ass. They make them cough during the strip search so anything up their asses will pop out. He pooped out his leftovers and got busted.

>>14214109
My experience was polar opposite in the Coast Guard. I was on one boat with maybe 15-30 ppl and the food was bomb. We had 1 cook who would go to the grocery store every week and was making us stuff like Coq Au Vin, Rigatoni Bolognese sauce, Shrimp Jambalaya from scratch. We ate well. A big boat is a different animal and a carrier may as well be a floating prison.

i'm phoneposting from juvy hall AMA

>>14216227
This website is for 18+, go jog somewhere else

>>14216227
you sneak a phone up your ass little boy?

>>14211178
Haven't gone myself, but I dated a cute white girl for a while who spent two months in jail. I never asked for details because she had her shit together when we were dating, but I think she probably assaulted a cop or something semi-serious for getting actual jail time. You wouldn't have ever known from her personality unless you ran a background check because she was so polite and well-mannered.

Anyway, she said the food sucked.

I got so fucking faded of pills and booze and wound up in the drunk tank, I ate like 3 dudes meals, never was in the jumpsuit because I bonded out after their systems were back up, food was an apple, fruit juice, some bread thing, a weird like savory food in a small container possibly something w tuna and bread, and then a baked good for a desert, everyone got the food in a sack lunch, once ur in a cell though and not the drunk tank food is much worse I heard.

>>14216166
>i was in jail for almost 8 hours.
>I know everything about the system, i'm hardened as fuck.

>>14215246
What you wrote makes no sence.
Idiot foreigners with chips on their shoulders never do. Do realize the population of the USA before you spout off like a cunt.

>>14215399
Compared to where? In other nations they just kill people instead of putting them in prison.
That way it's not considered "incarcerated"

>>14211178
I cooked in a prison kitchen. We were allowed to season and the guy who taught me clearly cared about cooking so the inmates ate semi well. But this was a small time DOC facility in rural Louisiana. I'm talking maybe 100 prisoners tops. We made home made mashed potatoes and gravy every night and things like that.

The only downside was that they didnt let us cook breakfast or lunch. So you only got a PBJ sandwich for each meal (300 calories or so) but dinner was easily 1500 or more calories. The guards said I kept everyone happy and they slept at night this way.

>>14211471
>tax a populous

>>14213394
it's literally from the scene OP's picture is from

>>14211178
shit and the breakfast was the worst, they served cold eggs and some kinda slop with sausage in it, made my shit smell like it for 2 days
surprisingly, the tuna fish was really good, tho that was probably cause i was hungover
I was only in for like 30 hours
dont be roommates with people who are gonna call the cops on you for being drunk and disorderly and then move out and not respond to messages about paying their share of utilities at the end of the month

>>14212028
I guess donuts?

>>14215561
I was in Army basic at Ft Jackson few years ago. I wouldn't say that it was like prison, but we did get really good food in the defac like eggs and ribs. The field food tasted funky as fuck to the point of where we preferred MREs.

>>14216490
>I know everything about the system
I never said that, but did you miss the part where I said I actually worked in a prison long term?
>i'm hardened as fuck
Where did I say that? Are you angry that I suggested the US is on average a better place to live than China? Are you referring to "the worst conditions the US has to offer"? At different times I've lived and worked in the kind of backwoods shitholes you watch crime documentaries about. Newspaper work, mostly. Cool the hateboner, retard.

>>14215459
Sounds quite good to me

>>14215561
>>14216948
Did time in Juvie, then was in the navy then went to prison after I got a medical discharge. Boot camp food is delicious because they want recruits to look forward to eating.