/ck/ - Food & Cooking

borgar

four big macs or four mcdoubles like i did last time

diabetes

4 mcdoubles

>>14205788
>watchu want
instant drive off

>>14205825
>M'elp ya?

Ice cream cone

Uhhhhhhhhh

>do you have anything vegan? Like no meat, cheese or animal byproducts?

panini

>...Why can't I be married to an attractive woman?" "Is it me?" "My bank account?" I'm a tall guy, I workout forty minutes a week... Is that not enough? Now my neighbor at the time, Tom Forknight, was very short. His wife, Karen Forknight-Plateburger... Yeah, one of THOSE women. Well, she was more attractive than my wife. I'd say she was a soft six, whereas my wife was a hard four. What's the deal? I thought women liked tall men? Why was Karen with him? Anyway my horse of a wife, God rest her soul, crawled into bed next to me. She decided to leave the bedside light on so she could read her book. It was one of her romance novels again... Give me a break... As if I don't already feel inadequate enough... Not only do I have to compete with Tom, now I have to deal with these fictional hunks! Ay yai yai! At this point I had already suppressed the urges of intimacy, I rolled over and tried to sleep. Her bedside light was only of minor annoyance. I was able to drift off... Then I woke up to a big flash of light. That's about it. I can tell by the way you're walking away that you don't want to leave... If you really want to hear another story I'll tell you. Once upon a hot summer night. Sometime in July... Was it July? My local grocery store sells really good eggs in July. I don't know why. Do chickens operate better in heat? Fireworks maybe? I don't know. I don't want to get off topic. Point is, the eggs that Summer were marvelous! Anyway, my wife and I, God rest her soul, went to a BBQ that night. It was held at Dale Spooner's house. Well, his backyard... Conny Spooner doesn't want people in her home, I think she's just an uptight bitch. So at this BBQ I see none other than... That's right, Tom Forknight... Now earlier in the day my wife, God rest her soul, had made potato salad for the BBQ.

>Personally I hate potato salad, I'm a mashed kind of fellow. Hoho! So I sat in the TV room avoiding her till the BBQ. Once we were at the party, I made sure to distance myself from my dumb potato bitch wife. God rest her soul, I just didn't want anyone to think I would associate with someone that would bring a potato salad! Anyway, Tom and his above mediocre wife were already there. And get this, they brought a fruit salad! With whipped cream! The nerve of those Forknights! Needless to say I gave my wife, God rest her soul, a couple choice words About whipped cream! Versus potato salad! God dammit! Son of a bitch! A real tongue lashing! Geez, you're kind of smothering me. I'll talk to you later.

WELL HELLO AGAIN! FUNNY SEEING YOU HERE! WHAT, ARE YA FOLLOWING ME OR SOMETHING? HOHO! ANYWAY... I OFTEN WONDER WHAT ALL HAPPENED HERE. WHAT WAS THAT BIG FLASH? WHY ARE WE HERE? EVEN OUR NIGHT AND DAY CYCLE IS ODD... SOMETIMES DAYS LAST AGES, AND NIGHTS COME RARE-LY. AND THESE CLOUDS... SO STRANGE... WHAT'S HAPPENED TO OUR EARTH? OH WELL. ENOUGH OF THAT BORING STUFF. I ONCE HAD A REAL KOOKY DAY AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE! I WAS IN THE WAITING ROOM READING A TEEN MAGAZINE. NORMALLY I DON'T INDULGE IN ADOLESCENT PUBLICATIONS, BUT I COULDN'T RE-SIST! I HAD RECENTLY HEARD THE NEW ARTIST ON THE RADIO, ULYSESS UTENSILS! SHE'S SOME YOUNG WOMAN, MAYBE A BOY, I DON'T KNOW. EITHER WAY THAT CHILD CAN REALLY GRASP MY ATTENTION! SO I'M READING THIS MAGAZINE BECAUSE I SAW ULYSESS ON THE COVER. I STILL WASN'T ABLE TO IDENTIFY IF IT WAS A MAN OR WOMAN. BUT AS I'M READING I NOTICE SOMETHING ON THE CEILING... I LOOK UP TO SEE THAT THERE IS SOME WATER DAMAGE. YOU'D THINK A DOCTOR WOULD MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO MAINTAIN HIS OFFICE... I GUESS HE CARES ABOUT HIS COOL JETSKIS MORE THAN HIS PATIENT'S COMFORT... AND HIS ASSUMEDLY BIG HOUSE AND HARD-BODIED WIFE... I WISH MY WIFE WAS LIKE THAT... BIG OL'... MELONS... JUST THEN! A DROPLET OF WATER FALLS FROM THE CEILING! MY EYES TRAIL IT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE GROUND! I STARED AT THE FLOOR FOR SOME TIME, WATCHING THE CARPET ABSORB THE WATER. SUDDENLY MY ATTENTION IS CAUGHT BY A SMALL CHILD. THE CHILD WAS GLARING DIRECTLY AT ME. I SAW THE DEVIL LOOKING RIGHT BACK AT ME BENEATH HIS EYES! I GOT NERVOUS AND QUICKLY STARED DIRECTLY AT MY FEET AS NOT TO AGGRAVATE THE CHILD. AND THAT'S WHEN I NOTICED SOMETHING... I WAS WEARING TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF SOCKS! GOLLY, I'M ALL REVVED UP AFTER THESE THRILLING EXCHANGES! TO BE FAIR YOU'RE A BIT OF A BORE, BUT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS! I THINK I'LL STICK AROUND, I'VE GOT MANY A TALE TO TELL!

>>14205788
ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

>>14206046
I love this please dont stop

>>14205796
actually buys heroin. like a boss...

>>14205788
Yeah, this is a stick up and you better have 20 nigmacs by the time I get to the window or else I have bombard this building with a liquid ass airstrike.

>>14206059
SO ANYWAY...
>My name is Nern. I'm considered the greatest historian of our time... I've gathered a wealth of knowledge about Olathe and what happened here. Many tales... Would you like to hear? Hmm... I wish you were more enthusiastic... Oh well, I'll tell you anyway. Let's see.... Oh right! It all started with what I like to call, THE FLASH. I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea. I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul. Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle. You know, like a plastic bottle? Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass. Why not just drink it from the bottle? I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass? But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky ... Anyway, I'll save that story for later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea. From a glass of course, ho ho! When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before. Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair! That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! A rock under my rocking chair! What a day! I decided it was time for bed, I had had a little bit too much excitement for one day! Hoho! I slid into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and said my prayers. As I was climbing into bed I noticed my wife, God rest her soul, brushing her hair in the bathroom. As I peered across the hall my body swelled up with emotion...

Two hot n spicy'spicy'a large coke light ice

>>14205844
Based

>>14205788

>>14205838
>ice cream machine is broken

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajSryuusPEE

>>14205788
Hi could I just get a 10 piece nugget meal with a medium fry and a Dr Pepper? Could I get buffalo sauce with that too please?

>>14205788
Could i get the directions to sonic so i can order a 5 piece chicken meal, 1 supersonic bacon cheese burger, and extra gravy

HOTCAKES

>>14205788
I'd like a 10 piece nuggets with medium fry and ranch with that, extra ranch. Oh and a coke.

>>14205788
Hi yeah I'll take uh... four mcdoubles extra cheese, a big mac no lettuce and -
>SHUT THE FUCK UP MOM! I'M FAT BECAUSE DAD HIT ME ONCE YOU STUPID BITCH AND FUCK YOU I TOLD YOU I WOULD START WORKING OUT IF YOU BOUGHT ME THE NEW COD
and an oreo mcflurry

>>14205788
43 McNuggets

>>14205788
ayo, i just got a raise to $7.63, so imma be a DOLLAR MENU MILLIONAIRE, get me everything on the dollar menu my dude.

>>14205788
two cheeseburger meal with a diet coke please
or <10:30, sausage mcmuffin meal w/ small coffee 2c2s

>>14205788
Yeah I'll take a sausage eggmcmuffin with a hash brown and a regular coke

>>14206044
you murdered your wife, didn’t you?

>>14205788
I want you

>>14206507

>>14205788
2 mcdoubles (no pickles), 2 junior chickens (add thai sauce), 10 chicken nuggets, 1 large fries, and a bottle of water please.

fcukin bet yu mother fuckkers dont gotta to goin to work at 7 tommorrow while bien drunk as fuck rigth now. fuck you lazyu asss FUCKs

>>14205788
3 large cups of water...
no ice

fujckin i aint drinkn no morn i have an dim still a fuckinm bottle idiot shits. im gonna mak eit work tho

>>14206601
>>14206593
>can't type properly even when black out
Amateur

Sun)02:28:47
uaskdon't

>>14206044
>>14206046
>>14206049
>>14206091
goddamn you

Five McDoubles, 20 pc McNuggies, and a Medium Fry. I have Soda at home. This whole order usually comes to 16-17 and it's a total waste. When the restaurants start to open back up I'm going to go to a buffet

>>14205788
I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce, don't be frontin son, no seeds on the bun, we be up in the drive thru, order for two I've got a craving for a number nine like my shoe, we need some chicken up in here, in this shizzle, 4 rizzle my nizzle extra salt on the frizzles, doctor pepper my brother another for your mother, double double supa size and don't forget the fries.

>>14205788
>Country doesn't have drive thrus
>McD places touch screen terminals for ordering to alleviate registers load
>Switches exclusively to touch screen terminals
>Minimal interaction with employees

>>14205788
I’ll have two big mac set with no middle bun and diet cola, ten chicken mcnuggets, two chicken wrap and an apple pie.

>>14206770
Came here to post this.

>>14207052
I was actually a bit depressed when I found out nobody had posted it and I had to be the first one to do it, so thank you for chiming in and lifting my spirits.

>>14207074
>>14207052
You guys are both retards

>>14207288
Shut the fuck up phoneposter.

>>14206794
I have this scenario that plays out in my head once in a while where this happens in the ghettos. The machines end up getting vandalized and then the people who live there complain about the machines always being down. McDonalds will tell them they try the best that they can to maintain them but really they don’t because constant repairs cost money.

>>14205788
>drive up to speaker
>peppy, upbeat voice comes on
>"Hi, welcome to McDonald's would you like to try our [current special]?"
>"No, thanks. Can I get a number 5, large, with a Coke to drink?"
>pause, no response from speaker
>few seconds of silence
>disgruntled voice of some high-sounding black 35 year-old comes on
>"Sorry, what can I get for you?"

I really fucking hate the pre-recorded greeting shit.

>>14208257
What on earth is the benefit of them putting in something like that? People would immediately realize it's not a real person when a different person starts talking. The only thing it does is make them feel stupid for responding.

>>14205788
1 Buffalo Ranch McChicken, 1 double cheeseburger, 2/$5 Big Macs, a large fry

>>14208217
Highly unsurprising that this plays out in your head rather than reality.

>>14208269
it's psychology. The warm and friendly tone of a young woman puts you in a good mood, ready and willing to spend your money to impress the young lady. When you realise you've been duped, it's too late, they have you in their mac claws. The line behing you is getting impatient, you are humiliated you just fell in love with a robot, you give up any idea of complications, instead ordeing something basic and easy to do to get out of that thight spot:
>"uh...uuhhhhh...a big mac with large fries and coke....please
you arrive red faced at the pick up. they fucked up your order. you don't dare complain, the ridicule of the robot incident still lingers. You pay and leave as quick as possible.
inside, in the manager's office, a man grins. you'll come back. they always do

>>14208269
It's supposed to be so that everyone gets a consistent greeting and so that they know the specials are being suggested without relying on their dumb workers. But yes, you're right, it's very jarring and just makes me feel stupid for responding and frustrated at having to repeat myself again from the beginning. Even funnier is that one time the special actually sounded good so I responded, "Yeah, I'll try that." Then there was a pause and the new voice said "Welcome to McDonald's how can I help you?" So they're not even fucking listening to the responses to their own pre-recorded suggestive selling, which COMPLETELY defeats the purpose.

>>14205838
>can I get a chocolate frosty?
>coming right up

>>14205788
Yeah lemme get uhhhhhhh

>>14205788
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7N3s82I-Yk

>>14205788
My dignity back. Why the fuck would I be in a McDonald's drive thru when there's a Wendy's next door?

>>14205825
Not even racist, but I would too.

I wanna slide my balls across your greasy forehead, they feel a bit chafed

>>14208438
How the fuck is that race related? I've heard plenty of white people talk like that.

>>14206091
Where's the rest? By the way, this is exactly how 80 year old women talk.

>>14205788
your nigger pussy

>>14205788
SAY WHATCHU WHATCHU WHATCHU WANT

>>14205788
Listen here Shaniqua, I don't want any sass. Now listen like up like you heard grass rustling on the savannah. I want a quarter pounder meal. No, not any custom order, just the typical quarter pounder. Patty, cheese, onions, pickles. Ketchup. You got it. The drink, now there's the rub. The grass is rustling, sister. A medium chocolate shake. Chocolate. That one should be easy for you. So the flavor is chocolate, and the size is medium. But no. whipped. cream. No whipped cream. Repeat it back to me. Well, your enunciation leaves much to be desired but I think you got it. Thank you, Shaniqua, and remember: all lives matter. Ahem. I'll be moving up to the window now.

>>14210150
>

>>14206055
Based and big smoke pilled.

>>14205788
Two triple cheeseburgers and a large coke

>>14205788
Oh wow, a Mcdonald's mic that isn't water damaged.

I miss those old order boxes

Can I get uhhhhhh

>>14210400
How does a mic get water damaged?

>pulling up to McDonald’s at 11 or so in the days when all day breakfast was not served
>yeah can I get a uh egg McMuffin and a-
>black woman box yells that IT’S LUNCHTIME in the most aggressive tone I’ve ever heard
>drive off

>>14206044
>>14206046
>>14206049
Based and LISA pilled

>>14210526
Over time the rubber gasket for the mic dries out and fails, allowing water to damage the mic. The nearest Taco Bell by me has this problem, half the time you can't understand a damn thing coming from the mic.

>>14210553
i do this with mcnuggets at 8 in morning
one day they will give them to me but have been trying for years

its bs not sell mcnuggets in morning

>>14210721
Burger King lets you buy whatever you want whenever you want. That's why they're superior. That and their burgers actually taste good unlike McDonalds CRAP.

>>14210553
>pull into drive through of mcdonalds
>ask for a spicy chicken
>they tell me they dont sell spicy chickens anymore

what the fuck? who the fuck buys the normal ones?

>>14211238
Hm... I wonder what people notoriously have a problem with spicy food and always eat the blandest food possible... hmm...

>>14211238
I ordered that once and the guy said “we stopped selling that a month ago” as if I were the biggest moron on earth

>>14211800
To be fair, you are.

>>14205788
A hot dog

>>14205788
>can i get uuuuuuh two mcdoubles no pickles
>and uhhhhhh a mcchicken
>2 thinga ranch
>and uhhhh cup water

>>14212065
>>and uhhhh cup water
Do people actually order this?

>>14212066
ya, if you just say water here they charge you for a bottle water insteada cup water cause cup water free

>>14205788
Eight Filet O Fish

>>14211261
Filipinos?

>>14208269
Wait what? They dont do this here in euroland

>>14212107
It's been a popular thing for big fast food chains to do in America for like 10 years now.

>>14210150
would subscribe to the podcast

You know damn well what I want, a double baconator with chili-cheese fries, a large soda, and a frostie.

2 double cheeseburgers
mozzarella sticks
chicken and bacon crispy wrap
large oasis

thanks

>>14205788
>Two big Macs just the sandwich, two fish fillet and a cup water

>>14206770
Big Mac https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sw2OvIgoO8

1 double quater pounder /w cheese meal large
sprite
2 mcdoubles
20 piece mcnuggets w/ buffalo and bbq sauce
1 large oreo mcflurry
1 big mac sandwich large meal
1 extra large fries

yeah lemme get a uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

>>14210085
who said he wasnt talking about white people?

>>14205788
Christ, I'm in such a headspace that I expected to click on that image and have the shitty text read "Black Lives McMatter" or some stupid shit.

>>14205788
large sprite, that'll be all

>>14205788
"Your heart, roasted on a spit."

>>14214925
Good. The more obsessed you are, the better.

>>14205788
Lemme get two Steak egg and cheese bagels with extra breakfast sauce and a round egg with a large mocha ice coffee.

>>14208328
hearty kek

>>14205788
Big Mac large fries and a cheerwine

>>14205788
McDonalds near my work uses tvs for the menu and order. It pops up a window which shows your order.
Kinda laggy though

>>14205788
Can I get uuuhhhhhh.... can I have a second?

>>14216467
Sorry sir we don't sell those.

>>14214935
Do you speak a language other than moron?

just a ice water with no ice pls

mc blowjob

2 mcdoubles, and 10 nuggets, with 6 bbq sauces

1 20 piece mcnugget with a large fry and a large spite and a large honey mustard please thank you

>>14206055

>not getting all 3 number 9s large

tf

>>14205788
4 mcdoubles
2 big mac sauces
medium cofe
thanks

>>14220174
I'm on a diet.