/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Cum

>>14148708
burgah
rustic
gorgeous
excellent

>>14148708
C'est la poutine, bein évidemment,

ça goûte bon, y'en a pas mal, pis c'est de chez nous, pas des américains.

Beans and rice

>>14148708
something that the majority of the planet eats, im thinking either a donair or a burger.

>>14148708
A bullet, for being a reductionist tastelet.
Also, dats speciesist

>>14148708
They would start making human products like we make animal products

>>14148708
bread

>>14148708
My braised elk

>>14148755
Agree about being something the majority eats. Therefore these are the best canditates so far:

>>14148752
>>14148788

>>14148817
we aren't giving the fucking aliens beans and rice and a loaf of bread, they'd laugh and conquer us for being faggots.

>>14148708
pizza w/ pep jalapeno and pineapple fo sho

mcdonald's

>>14148833
>"So, Humans, what do you believe best represent your civilisation?"
"B-beans and rice"
>"What?"
"Y-Yeah, alot of people eat it and it's pretty simple and... It can even be tasty."
>hang up, puts us on a 'do not contact' list, and have our zone be declared a 'galactic shithole' comparable to how we avoid reaching sentinelese Island.
>miss our one chance at intergalactic contact because a UN-Tier fucker thought beans and fucking rice represented us better than the delicious grace of Gazpacho or the Swedish 'MarangTarta', or hell, the german 'black forest' cake.

>>14148708
The McChicken. The best sandwich in the world.

>>14148863
holy fuck learn to greentext

>>14148887
I did my best, gaylord.

>>14148708
Bica + pastel de nata c/ canela

If it needs to be an entire meal, then it should be something like a fried chicken sandwich. Every culture has some variation on fried chicken, and the fried chicken sandwich can be sweet, spicy, bitter - a whole number of flavors that most cultures appreciate.

>>14148897
lurk until you're better at it nigger

>>14148863
Probably should not be one dish, but a meal with several courses. Bread, rice and beans should definitely be represented, as it's staples all over the world.

>>14148708
Pizza. It's universally loved.

>>14148913
Greentext didn't exist when I started posting here.

>>14148912
I still think we gotta show our best side to the Aliens, Bear steaks with honey wouldn't even be going too far.

But multiple course is a definite must. 6 services minimum.
>>14148913
Been lurking since 2014 grognard

beer

Whatever Jack has in his cupboard that day.

>>14148991
>aunt myrna's party cheese salad
>earth gets vaporized
Thanks Ja/ck/

>>14148708
For us, it's the McChicken, the best fast food sandwich

>>14148950
I don't think there's anything wrong with making some variation over beans and rice. There is room for it in say a 21-course tasting menu.

Other things to include:

Lobster
Snow crab
Shrimp
Seabass
(Wild) salmon
Cod
Tuna
Whale
Falafel
Tofu
Guineafowl
Filet mignon
Boar
Deer
Lamb

>>14148708
45 acp

>>14149093
You're why earth is a no contact planet

>>14149101
Good, stay on your planet alien nigger
We don't want you

Hot pepper has to be included. Consuming capsaicin for fun, which has evolved as a deterrent from eating vegetables, is one of the most bizarre unique aspect of humanity.

>>14149107
>we
sure thing cletus

There will be a world tournament to decide what the best dish for each single category would be and the Ayys will be the only judges, absolutely impartial.

Spoiler: tiramisù wins the desserts category

>>14148708
My rancid cock

>>14149126
>sure thing cletus

>>14149126
I don't want them either.
They can fuck off

Fuck off space niggers, we’re full

No ayys, go away.

>>14149093
>>14149107
>>14149161
>>14149171
>>14149172
>zorp, prime the planetary vaporizer

>>14148708
McDonald's

>give em tha deenz'

>>14148946
Well then you need to lurk even more newfag.

>>14148978
this. just get them drunk

>>14148708
chinese take out noodles with chicken and a shit ton of sriracha

i make salami and white bread sandwich ok?

>>14149101
>>14149126
>>14149179
Alien sympathizers get the radiation gun too

A cup of breastmilk. It is the one thing we all have had in common. Or a simple platter of fruit. I think they will find us barbaric if we give them meat.

>>14149263
your opinion is officially discarded from the discussion.

>>14148735
I still don't get the hype about poutine.

I tried it for the first time the other day, because of all the shilling here.
...there are no cheese curds aviable in my country, so I mixed diced Mozzarella with diced Babybel...

and it tasted like... slightly soggy fries with gravy and cheese.
I don't Know what I expected...

>>14148708
>asked that humanity came to an agreement on what dish should be served to them to represent the cuisine of Earth, what dish do you think it'd be?
>represent the cuisine of Earth
>Represent the distinctive idiosyncrasies of the food preparation of Earth

Literally anything apart from water, salt and sugar. Preparation processes aren't going to be planetarily unique but every single species used for food is unique to the planet, so it's all 'the cuisine of Earth'. If they want 'the most representative cuisine of Earth' then it's rice, which is the most commonly eaten staple.

In my opinion, grilled chicken and preserved vegetables on white rice would be a pretty good call. Pork is a more commonly eaten meat, but it's got baggage with Abrahamic religions, chicken seems to get a free pass from everyone. Fish is a good choice too, but as an individual species, chicken vastly outdoes them in food production.

I’d give em some chocolate chip cookies

A breakfast sampler from ihop with strawberries and whipped cream on the pancakes and a side order of French toast.

an omelette filled with scrambled eggs...

>>14149289
What kind of fries did you use? the McDonalds long strandy kind?

Kraft cheesy dog microwaved until the ends explode. Served on a folded over piece of white bread with 'chup

>>14149289
>I made something completely incorrectly, it wasn't good
What a fucking surprise, brainlet supreme

>>14149289
>t.

>>14149324
nah, the bigger normal fries, but still the frozen ones, and not freshly hand made...

>>14149351
that's your issue. When I do poutine, either I make my own fries, or I go to the local Mom&Pop burger shop and get some fresh ones to put with the gravy.

also not having curds is heresy, what balkan hellhole are you from?

>>14149350
dear god

>>14149339
>>14149350
wtf else should I do if there are no cheese curds? any better suggestions?

>>14149368
germany

>>14148708
KFC and Mcdonalds are eaten all over the world so probably that or pizza.

>>14148708
Something every country has their own version of, so unironically pizza or a burger.

>>14149373
Look up how to make curds from milk. Very easy.

Pecan pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

>>14149373
>>14149378
So I googled cheese curds and germany.
and I fell on this atrocity.

my god, they don't even have Italian poutine, which is the 2nd most basic, most classic kind of poutine.

but, overall, if you're near the border, Im pretty sure you can get cheese curds in France for cheap.

>>14149409
forgot the file

>>14149093
This. There is no such thing as a 'peaceful' grey.

>>14149350
lel basically
>I made paella replacing the bomba rice by a pouch of hamburger helper and the seafood by a can of tuna, I don't see what the fuss is about

>>14149289
>I mixed diced Mozzarella with diced Babybel

>>14149409
it's slightly over 700 km to the french border from here...

>>14149442
because the fucking internet told me it's the closest thing to cheese curds... any other suggestions?

>>14149373
No, it's the most important ingredient of the whole deal, you can't just substitute it by whatever random shit and call it a day.

>>14149461
Make your own.

>>14149471
Eat >>14149093 , syrup nigger

>>14149468
>>14149471
>>14149391
ok, I just looked it up, I need a shit ton of chemicals, but maybe it will make cheesecurds instead of mustard gas...

>>14148735
le gros esti

>>14148708
Grilled cheese sandwich, with the cheeses being a mix of sharp cheddar and young gouda.

>>14149289
you know that making something with the wrong ingredient can make pretty much every recipe bad

>Bread with butter and a tall cold beer.
This is delicious and culturally ubiquitous, plus it demonstrates how our culture has mastered agriculture and fermentation. Meat is an absolute no-go because to them we are on the same level as pigs and cows.

>>14149958
>Meat is an absolute no-go because to them we are on the same level as pigs and cows
>intelligent alien life will view humanity on the same level as the native wildlife that humans have clearly domesticated
Why would ayys be so obtuse

>>14148708
Probably pizza. It's probably the most loved food on the planet. Most likely sausage and pepperoni, since that's the most popular.

Spaghetti and meatballs with a big piece of garlic bread.

>>14148708
We eat jannies.

>>14148708
Rice and Chicken of some sort, maybe a Potato mixed in because most civilizations eat 2 of the 3 if not all 3

A burger, it's got:
>bread
>dairy
>meat
>vegetables
>fruit as well if it has pineapple

>>14148755
>Donair
The world is not limited to canada

>>14148817
Fuck the poor shitty people in hot climates they are barely human anyway. Give the ayylmao a burgah

>>14150868
donair kebab gyro schwarma, its all the same shit with a different name

>>14148708
I'm thinking some kind of meat pie/pastie with flakey crust. A lot of the world has something like this.

>UK and Finland
Cornish pastie
>Slavic countries
Piroshki
>Central Asia
Samsa
>China
Siew bao
>India
Samosa (vegetarian but I assume they inspired Jamaican Beef Patties).
>South America
Empinadas
>Caribbean
Jamaican Beef Patties
>North America
Same as UK and Finland

Not sure about Africa.

>>14151117
north america would be a potpie. Not your bong food

>>14148708
It would just be a banquet, we wouldn’t send them up a single plate of food, that’s rude as fuck, were you raised in a barn, boy?

>>14148708
a Marmite toast, just to kill us all

>>14148910
>bitter
Excuse me, wtf

Give them a nice helping of micro plastics.
Most of the world is eating them already, so why shouldn't ayys?

>>14149806
ayye big,

maudit virus qu'ya décalissé ma saison d'cabane

>>14148708
Unironically, bread.

>>14151531
what kind?

>>14149321
What a twist

Anons braised elk

Pizza or burgers.

>>14148708
beefaroni

>anons talking about killing them and not trying to fuck them and fed them cum

See, we get the aliens high first.
Then we bring them Taco Bell.
Easy as.

>>14153142
DUDE WEED LMAO
U
D
E

W
E
E
D

L
M
A
O

Roast goat and mango

>>14148708

>humans picked the perfect food to represent the human race.

>you are the choosen waiter to pick a corresponding beverage...

>you pick a nice wine from 2012

>the ayys analyze it, do not understand alcohol, and realize alcohol is slightly toxic,

>think humans are going to poison them...
>nuke the entire planet with alien blasters...

>>14149263
>A cup of breastmilk
whose breastmilk

>>14148708
Cyanide followed by boolets

>>14153930
Yours! Let's do a practice run. I'll squeeze

It would be a platter of different edible foodstuffs prepared and plated in this way and that, to let the aliens chose. Duh

Unironically a big bowl of human feces. Just to show them we don't give a fuck if they enjoy our food.

>>14148708
We'd never agree on it.

>>14148708
It's the obvious answer for a reason. there's no better dish to represent humanity

plus it's a disk, like their space ships, they'll appreciate that

>>14148708
That fermented Finnish shark dish thing

>>14148708
a munchie box

>>14148708
JOLIBEE
JOLIBEE
I WANNA BE
THE JOLIBEEEE

>>14148788
Legit this. It shows our progress in cultivation of fauna, and our ability to transform the outcome into something more palletable

>>14153142

Haha weed lmao

>>14155420

>enslaving yeast

>>14148708
If aliens existed I doubt we'd be that interested in what humans eat.

>>14148978
>>14149221
>aliens have nothing similar to beer on their planet
>they have no cultural self-restraint in its consumption
>rampant alcoholism and all the problems that causes destroys the entirety of alien society
checkmate, aliums

>>14148708
Water. Anything else would potentially be poisonous. The aliens are clearly testing to see if we are retarded

>>14155528
wait, we're the aliens?

>>14148863
based newfag

>>14149294
i like where your head's at. but i think a grilled or fried chicken, rissoto or fried rice, and a side of vegetable soup in beef broth

rice. boiled white rice. we terraformed the fucking planet to produce that mother fucker. half the people on earth say "did you have your rice today" as a greeting. rice IS FOOD.

>>14153809
>serve them anything grilled
>analyze and see that its carcinogenic
>nuke earth
maybe we should just give them a glass of water and some celery, guys

>>14148735
you misspelled poon tang

>>14148708
they're gettin a burger with a side of bacon and a steak since America is the only country with a Space Force.
To drink they get some moonshine whiskey.
We'll tell them our water is poisoned so they don't try to take it.

>>14148932
Everyone knows the best pizza is found on Betelgeuse VI
>fight me

>>14155850
>analyzes water
>oxygen reacts with lithium in their stomach bile causing death
>analyzes celery
>high fiber causes complete shutdown of their digestive tract causing death

>>14155711
How the fuck is making terraces considered terraforming?

>>14153718
>>14155464
Ain't no fun if the aliens can't have none

>>14148887
Not green texting certain dialogues to distinguish between different people talking isn't exactly a rare or newfag thing, anon.

Still waiting for the eternal Bong to shill his full English breakie

>>14148708
sketty bol'nese

>>14148877
based 450 IQ double dubs mcChicken poster

>>14148752
Based superior brazillian food.