/ck/ - Food & Cooking

horrifying

>>14096081
you mean amazing

>>14096090
nice. it's like a chocolate pinhead on crack

Why do people insist on using those teeth?
Just have a pointy nose with a milk button on the end or something

>>14096110
it's nice to make smiling cake for kids birthday etc

>>14096120
All these are horific though

>this thread

>>14096156
I need to watch Black Books again soon.

>>14096160
So do I, I have no excuse not to but I just don't have the energy to bother

>>14096049
My children

>>14096107
Jesus how horrid.

what the fuck

>>14096181
How very Bernard of you.

>>14096124
She a cute

I swear to god I've seen pictures of noggarts who survived acid attacks or fires and their faces lookes exactly like these cakes. I don't know whether to laugh or scream

>>14096049
I don't know why, but I can't stop laughing.

>>14096049
I didn't think there were enough of these pics for a thread, I wish I was wrong

It hurts to live

Consume me human

>>14096049
HedgeGOD!

what the hell

>>14098650
GOOD ONES AREN'T ALLOWED HERE

>>14096104
>Kill me

>>14098994
fucking hell

This thread made me laugh so hard I woke the hubby up

>>14096049
Step aside, the real hegehog is coming trough!

>>14099792
I WANT FUCK WOMAN SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

>>14099803
OOGA BOOGA

>>14099815
s-sex.....

>>14096120
IMMA CHARGAN MUH LAZER!1!!

>>14098645
>>14098650
>>14098669
>>14098681
why did they take pictures of their meatloaf before cooking it?

>>14099959
Better question is why is there no after shot?

>>14099792
I'm gay btw not sure if that matters

>>14099959
>>14099975
Because they look even worse after.

>>14099959
Mettigel is meant to be eaten raw
Yes it is raw pork.
Yes most Germans get infected with both toxoplasmosis and pinworms in their lifetime.

>>14100896
Now I want to see them

>>14096054
grim

>hedgehog cake
>looks like a black woman head before she gets her weave

Happy birthday, son. Look what your mother.made for you haha

>>14096054
shiiieeet

>>14099975
>>14100896
They don't get cooked, that's how they get served.

>>14102890
Chill out, I got it from a negro.

>>14098653
You are wrong retard

>>14102992

>>14103031
cringe

These are great.

>>14103038
That smells like heresy!

>>14099894
KEK

>>14102343
What is underneath the fruit??
I bombed at my daughters preschool party last time, I would love to make something like this and bring in next year

>>14103140
>I bombed at my daughters preschool party last time,

you can't tell us something like this without explaining how

Why is there so many of these? Are people making them unironically?

>>14103119

>>14103140
No idea pal, sorry. I found a different one and it said they used a pineapple as a base, so maybe it's the same?

Can I stick my dick inside of these?

They all look like joggers

>>14102343
>>14103319
Woah, this is like a lemon pig and hedgehog cake in one!

>>14103140
It's a half of a cantaloupe, I can see the rind pattern through the gaps.
I guess it's just a neat way to present toothpick-appetizers. You don't have to just do grapes or cheese cubes (though they are a good combo), you can use anything that fits on a toothpick. And now I almost regret typing that because I fear it will prompt /ck/ to make their own horrifying versions using the format. Like with the lemon pigs. And the hedgehog cakes.

That said, if I got one of these insane hedgehog cakes for a birthday as a child, I would be fucking stoked. It was the 90s, so "weird" and "gross" were cool. Also, I've always loved things like kitkats, after 8 mint sticks, pirouette/pirouline cookies, or any other "stick"-shaped treats, as well as gummy teeth, so they also look fucking tasty.

>>14103315
>they actually are cooked sometimes
>there's also a stuffed/deviled egg in the middle
>they also look super cute and fairly accurate after cooking
Fuck me, I never knew I wanted this.

>>14103352
I'd change the burnt spaghetti spines for onions like the rest itt, but you do you. This one uses chips.

>>14103020
I want a hamburger no a cheeseburger I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want potato chips

Man, this is one of the funniest fucking threads I've ever come across. I'm literally crying.

>>14096124
Das it mayne

>>14103350
Thanks.
I’m definitely going to make one of these. I think grapes and cheese is a great option for kids.

>>14105080
Not him, but how young are the kids? Some of the other parents might think it risky in case they stab themselves (you know what some parents and kids are like). I'd cut down the sharp edges just in case, anyway.

>>14103176
I made these all-organic fruit parfaits. I put them in cute sparkly cups. I bought really high quality imported raspberry jam and biscuits and used real fruit.
Another parent brought in bright red Koolaid flavored jello cups. I stupidly said, “we can put both out” trying to be nice.
The kids devoured the jello cup. They all took like one or two bites of the parfait rendering it useless for me to take home to my own family.
I still have nightmares about it!!

On my way out, one of the staff said to me, “pretty hard trying to be a cool mom, right...” — ouch

>Man, this is one of the funniest fucking threads I've ever come across. I'm literally crying.

>>14105087
if you don't stab yourself and others with knives as a kid how are you going to learn?

>>14105087
5 — I would hope if they are eating supervised they can deal with a toothpick... I was thinking the same thing though. There are always panicked parents who think the kids will poke his or her eyes out or swallow the toothpick.

At the same time, in light of Corona-Chan, maybe self-serve toothpick option is good. The parents usually bring in a fruit tray and let the kids use their hands to pick up fruit.

>>14105098
I think they look great. If I was a parent there, I would've complemented you and taken two for myself.

>>14105101
Well, exactly, but my point is other parents can get all neurotic about it, and that Op has already been traumatised enough as it is.

>>14105106
This is what I think. Maybe make the appropriate clucking noises about "being safe" and then let them deal with their own offspring's stupidity.

>>14096049
God bless you op, this thread is fucking hilarious

>>14105123
Cut the bullshit, pal, and cut to the chase: how many kids did you stab as a kid?

>>14105098
Good for you. Read the room and don't try to be uppity.

>>14105140
None, as it happens. I DID, however, intensely dislike a boy in my kindergarten when I was about five, and luckily my parents spotted the big orange-handled bread knife in my rucksack before it was too late. True story.

>>14099792
What in the fuck. These cakes are fucking horrifying.

>>14105098
LMAO

>>14098994
I'm petty sure that's cum.

>>14096049
They've been doing this shit since 14th century, mind you:
>>14105473

>>14096124
SHEEIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT

I wonder how many of these are intentionally awful

>Onii-Chan, let's play

Is that an Anglo thing?

>>14105100
get bent

>>14105707
Signed. It's time for these reddit newfags to go home.

>>14105707
Signed. Fuck all this newb shit.

>>14105564
Are you serious?
I can spot maybe, like, two, that are sincere. The rest are all obviously ironic, because even when they come out "right", they still look disturbing.

It's not even a niche meme, either. The Eddy Murphy reunion episode of SNL that came out just last year (or earlier this year? Can't remember) featured one of these things that was actually animatronic with a creepy electronic-talking-toy-with-dying-batteries voice begging to be killed (pic related). It was actually a pretty fucking good skit, parodying those "amateur baking competition" shows. Murphy clearly was not informed what exactly would be under the platter when he lifted it, and you can tell how hard he was trying to keep his composure while being expected to "describe his creation".

>>14107180
If you want some funny Eddie Murphy check his set out from Madison Square Garden.

>>14107180
The SNL bullshit was chopped and edited because of network morons, the MSG stuff is raw, hence the name of it, Eddie Murphy, Raw.

>>14105707
Fucking signed.
S°yjaks are the new "newfag".
Almost any given thread has an 80% chance of devolving into two obnoxiously vocal faggots, who care A LOT about what random strangers on a singaporean calligraphy forum think of them, calling each other s°y this or s°y that, spamming related s°yjaks, desperately trying to seem more "in" and "with it" than the other, in an infinite feedback loop until everyone gets sick of them and the thread dies.

>>14107198
So which are you and why should I try to decode that babble you posted?

>>14107207
I'm anonymous. We're all anonymous. If you care about "who a poster is", go to R*ddit.

>>14096049
Ngl, I'd sit on that

>>14099776
i like the tiny unicorns on the demonhog

>>14105707
it already is