/ck/ - Food & Cooking

When the portions literally fit onto a spoon

When people try to make hamburgers "fancy". A good burger is greasy, quick, and simple. The "fanciest" a burger should get is having a special sauce.

>Steak fags
>Whiskey fags

>>14067851
MUCH worse:
Wine fags.
The amount of pretense is just staggering.
People act like they HAVE to be pretentious to enjoy wine, seemingly.

>>14067863
Wine, beer and whiskey. Run, vodka and cider drinkers just go about their buisnack

>>14067870
>Run, vodka and cider drinkers just go about their buisnack
As they are just as happy to bring up during every such discussion.

>>14067757
>waaahhhh stop putting toppings i dont like on a certain sandwich that works well as a vessel for other flavors! you should only enjoy it plain because that's how i like it.

When people take a normal ass meal, stack it up on a fancy plate, draw a little picture with the sauce, throw a leaf on it and charge 10x what it's actually worth, and somehow believe they're a superior cook

>>14067747
4chan.

>>14067747
Murdering lying pedophile Democrats like Biden.

>>14067747
The actual definition of pretentious escapes most people here. On /ck/ "pretentious" just means sour grapes from poverty NEETs and flyovers who are afraid of getting Matt Sheparded for enjoying stuff that doesn't come out of a cardboard box that says "Great Value" on it, case in point:

>>14067757
t. McDonalds swine who gets triggered if a burger is made with actual meat and doesn't contain at lest 13% cellulose derived from reclaimed office supplies from Bangladesh

>>14067863
t. energy drink turboautist that blames an alcoholic beverage for the years of neglect from his "mommys time out" swilling mother (who ignores him while binge watching "the voice")

>>14067889
t. eats out of a Doritos bag with his bare hands, wipes the residue on his piss stained sweat pants

tl;dr eat a fucking vegetable, neckbeards

>>14067914
Good job on illustrating what pretentiousness looks like.

i don't hate pretentiousness so much but i hate when people give faggy names to old things to make them seem new like bone broth and umami

>>14067747
Restaurants

>>14067914
found the r/craftbeer tourist.

>>14067757
a burger is supposed to be a sandwich you put actual thought and effort into
just cause your standard is tuned to garbage doesn't mean everyone else should follow suite

"What do you consider pretenti-"
>>14067914
WAAAAH STOP NAMING THINGS I LIKE I'M SO CLASSY AND SUPERIOR LET ME PAY THREE TIMES THE PRICE FOR MY SHIT PRODUCTS BECAUSE A HIPSTER MADE THEM WAAAH

>>14067914
They will hate you because you spoke the truth.
/ck/ is populated by muttoid neets, anything more sophisticated than white castle is pretentious to them.

OP

>>14067747
Cast iron cooking

>>14067757
t. fat piece of shit

>>14067870
I used to be a beerfag, who got into whisky.
Whiskyfags are much, much less pretentious

>>14068232
No not really. I'm usually the one getting yelled at and occasionally banned for posting about non-grain beverages on /ck/

Sous Vide

Coffeefags

White people obsessed with spices and think they are rock-hard because they added 16 Birdseye chills to their sauce and ruined it

>>14068301
gween teafags

normies discussing coffee chains
> i hate dunkin donuts coffee
> starbucks fraps are great but peepees are whack
> i only come to starbucks for the iced coffees
> "minor coffee chain" is the only cawfi i can tolerate!
just shut the fuck up

>>14068254
You clearly haven't been here long if you haven't see the recurring daily threads of people talking about nicer, more complex foods - fuck there are threads with people fucking making it too.

>>14068335
how dare you speak to me you filthy ameriKKKan.. don't @ me ever again

>>14068335
>wine threads get purged automatically
>coffee threads get purged automatically
>discussion of vegetables gets flooded with shitposting about the vegan who climbed mt everest and died
>discussion of fine dining is mostly "it's a scam, I'll be hungry if they don't serve me 3,700 calories of slop on a plate and unlimited coca cola refills"
You must be new here

>>14067747
masterchef and all the fuckwits who watch it.

molecular peas.

>>14068310
Nigga the bittersweet flavor of ice cold matcha tea on a sweaty ass summer day is like being taken to Valhalla betwixt the ample bussom of a valkerie.

Post modern plates deserve the rope.

>>14067747
I actually don't like discussing new cooking fads and authenticity etc with people irl.

Cooking is fun to actually do, but it's a pretty boring topic of conversation - it's either very techinical or very circlejerky

>>14067747
mayo

Italian chefs that are all about muh authenticity and disregard any method that wasn't taught by their dementia riddled nona. Especially the neoplitan pizza fags with their heads so far up their asses, they can't realize that their soupy floppy spotted tortillas aren't the best version of pizza.

>>14069218
/thread

lmao bad place to ask this. /ck/ thinks a hamburger with relish is pretentious.

everything about British people and their "shite" cuisine.

>>14068288
UNDERFUCKINGRATED COMMENT
F U C K CAST IRON

ha, /ck/ thinks of Aunt Jemima mix as pretentious because you have to add water

>>14067747
food packaging that markets to retards
>mayonnaise
NO ADDED SUGAR!! <1g NET CARBS!
>ketchup
NO HFCS! NO ARTIFICIAL PRESERVATIVES! ALL NATURAL SUGAR! FAT FREE!
>canned tomatoes
NON GMO CERTIFIED, KOSHER, HALAL, LEAPING BUNNY APPROVED

says a lot about people when it's more common to see shit telling you a food is good than people actually knowing what is and isn't good for their health

>pretentious
>/ck/
that would be the pot calling the kettle turquoise!

Heston is alright.

>>14067753
fpbp

>>14067747
>Whats something pretentious that you fucking hate?

White people. Specifically, white vegans.

>>14067747
Anything that you like and this:
>>14067863

>>14068288
>>14069935
Found the fags who can't cook with cast iron.
If you can't cook with cast iron you might as well admit you're a full blown retard.

I love it when -4chan- tries to flex with just text.

Yes, I am the prince of Sweden and I will take my jet over to North Korea and eat tons of sushi with Kim Jong Un and then snort coke off of hookers. I said it on 4chan and it must be true! Stay poor, losers!

>>14071719
Is that real?

>>14067914
t. spends half his paycheck on luxury goods markup for no tangible benefit because he wants to feel cultured or some dumb shit

>>14067757
people who eat raw burgers
it isnt fancy, its fucking retarded

>>14067863
This. Wine is good but I have a wine nerd friend whose into all the high end shit. All of it is just arbitrary. It’s a thing for people who want to feel better and smarter than other people by being ultra snobs. It’s obnoxious how much shit is just made up

>>14067870
>Run, vodka and cider drinkers just go about their buisnack
>t. Jack Black

>>14067914
Wow you are a whiny faggot. Shut up pussy lmao

>>14067747
>grandma burgers as haute cuisine
>microgreens and tweezerwork
>single-bite courses
>table-side presentations where I'm supposed to participate
>female butchers larping as rosie the riveter

people that act like cooking is an incredibly difficult process which only master can replicate just because they can't flip an egg without ripping it

>>14067747
chicken

>>14068313
They can't comprehend your superior tastes in coffee, anon, do not hate them, pity them.
They think this is "socializing" and "being a normal fucking person and chatting".
Pathetic. As they went to parties and got laid, I studied the french press.

>>14072318
This. Anyone I know who can actually cook well, agrees that cooking isn't hard at all and the difference between a good dish and an amazing dish is really just a few little things done differently due to experience.
But you can totally make restaurant quality food on your first try.
It's more about putting in the effort and being detail oriented, than any sort of skill.
Yes, you can have amazing knife skills and flip food around in your pan, but that wont make the food itself better. Once you understand some basic principles, you are golden.

The people who gatekeep cooking are usually not that good at it and just wanna lord it over people and impress them.

>>14067747
Those fags that will tell you everything is so easy and cheap to make yourself. But this often isn't the case for a single or a couple. Mostly some idiots, who just learned the basics like making mayonnaise or housewifes with 4 kids that actually need high amounts of the specific food so it's worth the effort and will not end up with non used rests of it.

>>14073028
You can freeze food anon.
And sometimes, you wanna make something good.
It's good for the soul anon.

>>14072026
Especially since they literally can't tell the difference between cheap and expensive wine if you don't tell them what bottle it came from.

>>14067757
>When people try to make hamburgers "fancy". A good burger is greasy, quick, and simple. The "fanciest" a burger should get is having a special sauce.

>When people try to make a grilled cheese "fancy". A good grilled cheese is Wonder Bread, Kraft singles, and Pam on the pan. The "fanciest" a grilled cheese should get is by using margarine and not Pam.

>When people try to make pizza "fancy". A good pizza is cheese, tomato, and dough. The "fanciest" a pizza should get is having a crust.

Halloumi