/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Go back to /pol/, niggerlover.

this was on /tv/ and it was also stupid there

Okay, this shitposting is getting out of hand.... Where are the mods? I don't get it.... Had so much fun on this board, but now.............. :(

>>13822029
These people should die... If you cant make oatmeal(with the instructions clearly printed on each packet, and the box) you're beyond use in a proper society.

>>13822040
Amazing what people like her will do for attention.

>>13822029
Imagine being such a fucking retard that you can't even make oatmeal.

>>13822034
>>13822036
>>13822038
I was asking a genuine question ;_;

>>13822029
Yes. My mom is a chef and she taught me how to cook since I was a little kid. My sister never liked it in the kitchen and can't cook worth shit.

>>13822029
i do, can you eat?

>>13822053
>as a single man
>her
are you retarded on purpose

>>13822078
Kill yourself

>>13822092
only feminine males go on reddit

This whole virus bullshit will push retards to using their kitchens for the first time in their lives and then making proud posts on social media about being able to boil a fucking egg.
I really wish the disease targeted zoomers instead. And also that it was actually as serious as the media want us to believe.

>>13822128
>vegan luncheon
That sounds like Auschwitz tier torture.

>>13822128
imagine actually paying for this garbage

>>13822128
No way anyone really served this shit

>>13822029
>can't even microwave oatmeal

How do these people even make it to adulthood? Microwaving is bare minimum cooking skill, packaged microwave things even have instructions

>>13822239
No idea. One of my friends can't even make a sandwich himself. I don't understand how someone can be that pathetic.

>>13822239
It's actually very easy to boil oatmeal over in microwave if you haven't made oatmeal in a microwave before. 3 minutes with full power in my microwave and it explodes. The microwave creates a bubble and it bursts and it's everywhere after that. That doesn't happen in a pot.

>>13822128
yum, my favourite. A stock of romain lettuce and a mangled piece of walmart whole what bread... I hope the competition for that michelin star had fair warning they were about to get destroyed.

I'm learning. But having eaten out twice a day until my 30's, and never learning the basics at home, I still have work to do.

>>13822038
Moderation is a nonessential service.

>>13822280
Braised dishes are almost unfuckuppable. Maybe you'll want to start with some of those.
Coq au vin is easy and delicious for example, and you can make it with a couple of chickenlegs.
You simply cannot go wrong with a nice stew.

>>13822128
>I really wish the disease targeted zoomers instead.
Like kids?
They mostly use entirely different platforms, the social media you use with the most of these kids is probably 4chan.
They're retarded faggots but I honestly don't mind them too much. I hope that all their flossing makes them less fat than the boomers/gen x/millenials.

>>13822320
I probably was thinking of the Millennials now you bring it up. The 20-something e-whores.
I guess zoomers are younger and possibly can still be redeemed.

>>13822280
"learning the basics" is exactly where you should start. You have the entire Internet as your disposal, so you just have to remember to look up even really basic shit such as "how to hold a knife" or "how to chop an onion".
Actually, buying a sack of onions and making French onion soup is a great way to start on basic skills. And a delicious one.
If you don't want to eat FOS for a week, and with the current toilet paper situation you definitely don't, you can easily freeze some of the caramelised onions to use in stews and suck at a later time or you can freeze the finishes soup. (before adding the bread and cheese obviously)

I should probably make a big batch of caramelised onions and freeze them in portions myself. Just in case.

>>13822355
From what I've observed Gen X are being the most irresponsible, but I think they're jaded from being kept on tenterhooks throughout the entirety of the cold war.
Millenials love being self-righteous so they're all self-quarantined and blogposting about how it makes them christ-like.

>>13822040
"I don't follow recipes, cooking should be creative"

>>13822029
Natural selection

>>13822029
>instant oatmeal
>not steel cut oats browned in butter and cooked in milk
why even live

>>13822377
I've never seen "instant" oatmeal where I live. Everybody just buys normal oats and either eats those with cold milk like cereal or make oatmeal from them.
It's just oats and water, and you can make that in the microwave oven if you stir it a bit once a minute or so. I don't know what makes "instant" oats easier than that.

>>13822381
Instant oats are just extra rolled rolled oats and broken up a bit

>>13822304
underrated

>>13822381
i had food delivered because i'm to sketchy to to the store, i ordered rice, beans and 1 container of normal oats... they only delivered 5 large containers of 1 minute instant oats! guess i'm going to be eating a lot of oats

>>13822078
>posted a group approval seeking simp's reddit post
>pretends to want to engage in genuine discussion
fuck off

>>13822029
No.

>>13822029
Imagine taking that bait in 2020.

>>13822141
>>13822128
I have seen vegan restaurants giving out home-made buns, this is a over-exaggrated meme probably made my the animal industry to make more people seethe about vegans and to make vegans seem like predators, its disgusting how often they use professional abuse tactics against vegans. I'm so glad I never bought meat again they remind me of my middle school bullies

>>13822536
it's not bait
instant oatmeal explodes in the microwave quite easily
also the way they type is indicative of someone who doesn't know how to cook or do much of anything really

>>13822078
commit sudoku

>>13822557
Bigtime bait taker right here, folks. Real pro.

>>13822248
What is the part that loses him?

>>13822649
bigtime retard right here, everyone
might even be more retarded than someone who doesn't know how to cook instant oatmeal

>>13822029
How do you fuck up instant oatmeal? Zommers deserve to starve.

>>13822029
no

If you're one of the "oh tee hee hee i can't cook i burn water lol!" people you literally deserve nothing more than a bullet in the face. Cooking at a non professional level is LITERALLY just following simple instructions.

>>13822029
I know this is fake, but the amount of people I know who can't cook is staggering. Was it just lazy parents? Or are the kids to blame for never wanting to pay attention

>>13822731
I'd say both

Parents for being lazy and not actually parenting their kids and teaching them the skills to be independent, and the lazy kids for not taking the time to learn how to cook for themselves.

I don't think in the future we're going to have that situation where you return home to enjoy your mom's cooking, mom's famous recipe for blank, etc.

>>13822731
WW2 and the drastic rationing disconnected the average urbanite from the kitchen.
Worse, when the war ended and we had tens of thousands of young men return to the domestic work force all at once, there was a concerted effort to push women out of the work force and back into the kitchen: they did so with packaged foods and gadgets advertised as making life at home simpler and easier, further eroding the culture of cooking from scratch.
Then we got into the '80s and everyone was eating tv-dinners because they were LARPing as coked up business executives with no time to cook.

>>13822029
How do you eat out since you are 19?

These "humans" have no life-skills whatsoever.

>>13822274
more like hole wheat, amirite?

>>13822744
It seems like we're slowly moving back to cooking, but I think millennials got the fallout from those TV dinner days. Couldn't tell ya what's going on with zoomers. The ones at my work get their lunches packed by their girlfriends which is actually shocking to me

If you put water in it you did better than me. The fucking neighbors called the fire dept when i did that shit.

>>13822731
Can't really blame current young adults for not having an interest when they were growing up because the only thing kids care about is being entertained. Their parents were likely more laissez faire and expected public school and TV to raise their kids. That and both parents were empowered to have jobs, also resulting in less time for actual cooking at home, resulting in kids not having a model set for them where preparing your own food at home is a normal thing

>>13822754

>>13822766
I can blame them for being too retarded to read the instructions and following them.

>>13822766
Alex, I'll take "what is victim mentality" for $200

>>13822754
heh

>>13822078
you FAGGOT

>>13822029

I enjoy cooking but I'm pretty shit at it. I'm lucky that I'm one of those people who can fumble with random shit and turn out a loaf of bread or a stew that doesn't taste like shit, but any actual cook would want to beat me with a shovel.

>>13822040

in my experience, cooking basic oatmeal is easier than cooking instant oatmeal. anything to do with "simmer/microwave then let sit covered for 5 minutes" I fuck up, EVERY time. EVERY TIME. the only exception is when I cook it in a rice cooker.

>>13822314

>braised dishes are almost unfuckuppable

that's where you're wrong, buddy.

>>13822778
no arguments there

>>13822239
pretty sure the person knows how to cook.
he just did something dumb and posted about it online for the clout

>>13822038
>>13822304
>be mod
>delete alcohol threads
>delete humor threads
>delete waitstaff threads
>delete any thread related to restaurant experience
>delete any thread related to working at a restaurant (unless it’s dishwasher or cook, apparently BoH is allowed)

>see coronavirus thread
>see any thread that’s /pol/ disguised as /ck/
>”What a quality thread. I’m glad /ck/ if finally staying on topic!”

>>13822128
i'm pretty sure these people existed before
they just didn't have social media to proclaim to the world how idiotic they are

>>13822547
>having this bad of a victim complex
You might as well kill yourself now, hell it won’t even be your fault, it’ll be all the “bullies”

>>13822128
>>13822135
>>13822138
>>13822141
>>13822274
>>13822547
this was made on 4chan specifically to bait people
good job retard

>>13822029
once I fucked up instant oatmeal because they said to put in one cup of milk so I filled up a measuring cup but then when I poured it into the oatmeal the whole thing overflowed and then I looked closer at the measuring cup and it wasn't a 1-cup measuring cup after all but a 4-cup measuring cup so I just threw the whole mess away and after that I was too discouraged to make more oatmeal

the end

>>13822128
They don't deserve even the squidges of sauce on the side

>>13822909
The text maybe, but did an anon actually make all those plates just for a troll pic? I have my doubts.

>>13822912
that can happen to the best of us, man.
I once spilled cola everywhere because it didn't say anywhere on the 2-liter bottle that it would not all fit in a regular drinking glass.
Lawsuit pending.

>>13822909
this was made on 4chan specifically to bait people
good job retard

>>13822951
>merely pretending
backpedal harder

>>13822936
oh for sure, someone made all of those and was genuinely proud of it, but the text is unbelievably fake

i said in a thread a while back that this was going to happen. people bought food and have no idea how to cook it prepare it or have the equipment to cook anything at all. the fuckin mods deleted the thread as trolling outside of /b/
i made a nice one and that too was removed >>13773790
>>13822029
yes.
>>13822038
fuck yourself faggot

>>13822962
No you stupid moron, I said you made your post to bait people. Jesus Christ vegans are dumb as shit.

>>13822944
uh, you know permissions are fruits, right? You're the one who looks retarded.

>>13822968
nigga you are fucking dumb

>>13822877
>alcohol threads
Alcoholism threads
>humor threads
Blurry screenshots of stale facebook memes threads
>waitstaff threads
tipping flamewar threads
>any thread related to restaurant experience
Blogging

I'm okay at it.

>>13822038
>>13822078
T_T

>>13822754
lold

>>13822969
Ask my consent first you dumb kike faggot!

A lot of people on this board, definitely don't know how to cook.
But I do. I've posted stuff I've made here before but it seems to upset anons when you post home made food as they almost always say it looks like shit.

>>13823290
Good-looking food is like 90% photography skills and tricks. If it tastes good and you put love in it, I don't give a shit. Fucking Instagrammers need to be roped.

>>13823290
A slop of, to be precise.

>>13822969
>tfw persimmons are called permissions now

>>13822029
Can you keep /reddddit/ on /reddddit/, faggot?

>>13822832
>put into bowl
>pour hot water from kettle or pot
>mix and wait
why do you even think the microwave must be included at the first place??

>>13823318
See, that's the problem with these post-ironic millennials we have on the site now.
I can't work out if you're too stupid to get the joke or if you do get it and are building on it.

>>13822029
No. Why would I be visiting a cooking forum if I already knew how to cook?

>>13823405
If everybody had that attitude I don't suppose you could learn much from the place anyway.

The very first thing I figured out how to cook on my own at 9 years old, were scrambled eggs. I was so proud of myself and that kind of started my love of cooking.

>>13823374 I like all kinds of pastas. Especially sauces

>>13822128
I 100% guarantee this is not Michelin rated.

how can someone even "not know how to cook" in fucking 2020, honestly? all you have to do is a open a youtube video and see EXACTLY how to make any dish. a fucking monkey can learn to copy others

>>13822029
Got a pot of chili simmering away right now.

>>13822274
>competition for that michelin star

>>13822029
Yes but I just follow recipes on the internet

>>13822029
The fuck is wrong with Zoomers?

>>13823952
GenX parents give no fucks.

>>13822128
not a single cat wearing that michelin toast
FUCK THIS GAY EARTH

>>13823944
This is me.
I can follow recipes and have them turn out perfect but give me a bunch of ingredients and I'm lost

>oh bohoo i fucked up my first attempt at making oatmeal
This happens to everyone but most people don't whine about it on social media. This is why people hate millenials.

I'm not ashamed to admit I've fapped to alice 3d while imagining she's a cute crossdresser on multiple occasions.

>>13822029
>reddit
There's your problem, reddit is the place for stupid people go to act smart.

>>13825086
reddit is where children go to act smart

>>13824669
Who fucks up oatmeal?

>>13825422
The stuff that I buy lies about how much water you need to add. It tells you to put in so much that it turns into soup.

>>13822646
It's called bukkake.

I laughed at people who cant cook rice, but this takes the cake!

>>13822754
my mind is pulling apart at the seems

>>13822029
I'm sure this is a "teehee give me upboats" post but I was making instant oatmeal by the time I was 5, its just hot water and oats, the issue is he put it together and then microwaved it instead of heating his water and putting it over the oats like a non-retard.

>>13822029
I'm too lazy to cook but I know how to do it.

>>13825413
Like all the /pol/tards in r/thedonald?

>>13825435
>>13825886
>water
Do people actually make oatmeal with water? I always use milk.

>>13825886
>I was making instant oatmeal by the time I was 5
I didn't eat oatmeal until I was 25 years old

>>13826232
you mearly adopted the oatmeal, I was born into it molded by it.
I made it with a small about of very hot water and then added milk to get it down to a temp I could eat.

Wait there are people who heat the water and oatmeal at the same time? I always just heat the water and pour it over the oats. It's not like you're making pasta or something.

>>13826343
You're making instant oats. Regular oats need a soak and a boil.

>>13826357
Pic related isn't 'instant oats,' right? Here they're just called oats, and are cooked by pouring boiling water into the bowl and leaving a lid on for two-three minutes.

>>13825886
>>13826232
I eat oatmeal for breakfast every day except for cereal day. 1 cup milk to 1/2 cup oats, cooked in the microwave (700w) for 1 1/2 minutes, let sit for 2-3 minutes. Add peanut butter and mix. Sometimes I even top with maple syrup or berries if I'm feeling adventurous.

>>13826390
I'm the first anon, I haven't eaten oatmeal in months at this point, I just eat eggs or cereal since its what I always have on hand.

>>13826371
tror att instant oats har socker osv i sig redan.

>>13826371
those are rolled oats. they've been steamed and crushed by rollers. takes less time to cook than steel cut, but longer than instant.

instant oats are rolled oats that have been further crushed. the greater surface area means they cook faster.

steel cut oats are just the kernels, cut and dried. they have not been steamed. takes like a half hour to cook (or less if soaked).

also, the steaming process par-cooks the oats. it denatures the proteins in the husk so that they last longer.

>>13826433
Lol
>Amerikaner

>>13822754

>>13826449
>steel cut oats
>takes about half an hour to cook
honestly curious, how are you cooking your oats that it takes that long?

>>13826652
you simmer them in a pot. they're oats it's not rocket science. that's how long it takes to cook. otherwise you're undercooking them, which would be like eating crunchy rice.

>>13823295
But what is wrong with taking photos of food?

>>13822731
My gen X mom was a horrible cook and I had to teach myself. Been cooking for only 5 years and I'm already better than her at it.

>>13822029
What kind of fool can’t microwave some oatmeal? I could do that shit when I was ten. The directions are straight forward and not complicated in the least.

>>13827121
lol she unknowingly raised a woman

>>13827133
>implying cooking is a chick thing
Almost every professional chef is male. Women cant even get cooking right.

>>13822029
Stove top oats > Microwaved oats, throw in a few spices and some raisins and you got the good shit right there.

>>13827229
>raisins
based and redpilled

>>13822128
Anyone who's ACTUALLY eaten at a Michelin-starred restaurant, or read up on them, know that they wouldn't half ass anything this badly for babies, let alone vegans. Anything you eat in these places has days, weeks or even months of planning behind it.

>>13827140
Chefs aren't cooks. They are leaders.

Yes. I'm certainly no fancy chef or something, but I can definitely make it on my own without the need for take out or someone else cooking for me.

>>13822029
Stove top cooking is stupid easy, throwing random shit on a pan with salt and pepper and olive oil and moving it around until it's nicely browned may not taste as great as carefully measured ingredients follow a specific recipe, heat, and time with all the good spices but it gets the job done.
If somehow you can't manage that than you deserve to starve.

>>13822877
>le /pol/ boogeyman
lol go do a push-up faggot

>>13827487
Fuck off, CHUD.

>>13827602
ack! Right away! Please don't call me out anymore!!!

>>13827612
>Feigning innocence

>>13822029
>reddit screencap thread

>>13822029
I won't be opening my own restaurant any time soon, but yeah, I can cook sorta okay for myself.

>>13822128
surely this is a piss take?

>>13827229
>>13827257
FUCK raisins

>>13827487
They are literally everywhere on site its cringe

gallowboob is just trying to provide for his body pillow family

>>13822029
>Boil meat
Meat becomes edible
>Boil vegetable
Vegetable becomes edible
You don't deserve better food than that

>>13830604
change boil to braise and that's most of my diet, to be quite frank with you.

>>13822128
But you call it a vegan luncheon even tho the bread is obviously made from yeast?

>>13830620
Yeast is not, and has never been, part of Animalia.

>>13823402
What joke?

>>13822029
My mum likes to think she taught me to cook, but basically she showed me to cook pasta one time when I was a kid, and from then on I read instructions on packets. I taught myself how to actually cook real meals from scratch from reading cookbooks and watching tutorials online.

>>13822106
How did you know it was Reddit?

>>13822029
>Can you cook /ck/?
Since I was 8 years old. and not from a microwave because we didn't have them till I was 10.

>>13827015
It makes some people hungry and jealous that they can't make something that good for themselves. It's a bad combination.

>>13830588
Gallowboob is literally a company of people that run one account for a profit. It isn't a person

>>13830942
your dad told me mid-coitus

>>13822912
>Cooking, don't remember what
>Measure 1 cup of milk
>Use my big boy cup that's 30% bigger
>Realize my fuck up too late
>Food is shit

>>13823290
Whenever I have a legit question about cooking I come here
So far I got an useful response every single time

>>13822731
I had to learn cooking by myself in my early 20s, my mom was stupid as fuck when it came to anything about her kitchen. I couldn't try out anything together with my best friend, I couldn't find any time where I could actually try out cooking, because my mom was doing it 24/7 and NEVER let anyone touch anything in the damn kitchen. Even WHEN I had the chance to cook something, cleaning up everything right away and make sure there's nothing sticking, she was completely ruthless about it and went batshit insane if there is just one dirty spot. Every single fucking time I wanted to cook something with my buddy together, she ran in the kitchen and annoyed us with things we should do, it went as far as me yelling at her to fuck off out of the kitchen and one time I "accidentally" smashed a kitchen cabinet door against her face while opening it, because i wanted to get something out and she was pissing me off.

I am now sort of capable of cooking more complex things, but it never comes natural, I always have to go by the book and I rarely ever dare to try new things because it stresses me. Maybe also because my fucking kitchen where I live at now is a joke, it's too small in general. Fuck my life.

>>13830608
That's too hard for people who can't make oats

>>13830938
Does chicken come with instructions?

>>13830994
Ok twink

>>13831005
A cup is an actual measurement. They don't mean just grab a random cup and use it as a measure.

>>13831031
I don't really study the packaging that closely myself since I can actually cook, but I have definitely noticed recipes and general cooking instructions on various packs of fresh meat, chicken included, at the supermarket.

>>13831120
He's saying he grabbed the wrong size by mistake, dumdum.

>>13822557
gotta admit, my first time doing instant oatmeal in the microwave ended up similar. I'm now a decent enough cook who won't embarass himself when cooking for someone else or can feed himself from basic ingredients.

>>13822029
honestly hope people like this starve to death.

>>13831031
The shrink wrapped chickens in supermarkets usually have roasting instructions, yeah.

>>13830968
Why would a company run a reddit account?

>>13831825
For profit. Can you not fuckin read bro?

>>13831172
What kind of retard needs instructions for cooking poultry or beef? I get it if you are a child but a child shouldn't be cooking that in the first place
I love how lazy they get tho
>Buy offbrand Nutella
>Nutella cake, buy pound cake fill with nutella
Wow
The ones that come in mayo, bullion or kitchen papper are always the worst, it's like they want to be absolutely sure a monkey couldn't fuck it up
I should make a cookbook with them with pictures included

> be millenial
> eat out every day since age 19
> bitch about not having money & blames boomers, despite living with parents

This is why the zoomer generation is already more successful than our older siblings.