/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13809155
Tofu is much like the Chinese. It's just a soulless entity.

>>13809155

>>13809181
dude weed lmao

POST LE EPIC EGGMAN PLEASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>13810355

>>13809155
Now here's the three real hacks on tofu:
>Stop being a faggot
>Throw that shit away
>Buy real food

>>13810391

>>13809964
Blatantly unfair. The guy eating the pumpkin pie has a huge advantage over the guy eating the much denser heavier pies. I hope they at least agreed to the pie choice before hand.

>>13810358
why do 99% of scrambled eggs look like this online? I have to struggle to make mine not look uniform and fluffy. what are they doing differently?

>>13810526
too high heat, eggs not mixed enough before going in the pan. You're doing it right, they are not

>>13810512
>blatantly unfair
No amount of handicap can stop Ja/ck/ from demolishing his opposition.

>>13810587
basic bitch

>>13810587
god what a cheap ass watch, who the fuck does she thinks she is wearing something so fucking cheap

god this is why i fucking hate muscular women they can't dress for shit and they'll go out and get a $40 fucking watch and think oh yeah this is the perfect thing to wear while i shove this shit down my throat making me look like a disgusting pig

god fuck this stupid whore jesus FUCK

>>13810666
I love her even more now, and hate you more intensely. Take your conspicuous consumption back to Facebook.

>>13810666
you have autism.

>>13810642
But why though..

>>13811922
Almost every day I lose more faith in humanity I didnt know I had

>>13810266
>Maybe itll be funny when I post it the 50th time

>>13809150
~15 years ago, my dad and I were going on a fishing trip and stopped at a Hardee's on the Ohio turnpike. We got our burgers and fries and sat down to eat. A couple tables over there was a couple of vegan-looking creatures eating flowers or whatever. The guy ate like the guy eating pizza in your vid. My dad, a big, burly Vietnam vet guy, stood up to take his tray to the trash, walked by Mr. Whole Foods looked him in the eye and called him a faggot. Loudly.

Love you dad.

>>13811980
Your father was a complete fucking dunderhead. What an insecure piece of shit.

>>13810526
Are you making them American style or British style?

>>13809150
i love how this image is supposed to imply something, that the guy on the left is a fag and the guy on the right is """Based"""

lets be real here,
guy on the left probably has a well paying cushy job, is in great health, mindful of his actions and decisions, and ultimately careful and a more advanced person.

Guy on the right is eating like he got out of prison, no self control or pacing, and is overweight.

who's the real winner here?

>>13812846
youre the first one to imply any such thing

>>13811922
What's this skit from?

>>13812846
>t. fag

>>13812882
based

>>13810358
>the replies
God, I love /ck/
Reminds me of a Boris vid

>>13810587
This appears impressive, but also idk whats in that dumb burrito, so I can't really tell if it's impressive or just retarded
>>13810642
Now That's What I Call Retarded: 8

>>13811922
What exactly did he supposedly do to earn the cake? What the fuck is this even supposed to be?

>>13809181
God fucking dammit I hate stoners. One of my neighbors has been blazing up from 9 in the morning to 2 at night every day for the last week and it's coming in through my bedroom vents. Why are they such disgusting deadbeats?

>>13809150
Honestly? Pizza blotter is kind of a cutie and i'd like you drop a load all over his face

>>13809964
Now those are some pic related.

>>13813044
How?

>>13813044
Eggsplain?

>>13813044
it's funny that where I live we don't really have white eggs, they're always brown

>>13812846
The guy on the left IS a fag and the guy on the right is a planned performance for jew views.

lurk moar

>>13813304
>bake
>deep fry
>grill
Stop it, he's already dead.

>>13810577
neat

>>13813142
how what moron? you've never seen street vendors before?

>>13812996
he earned it by sitting on his ass pestering people as they walk by

>>13810666
This is probably the most incel reeking post I've ever read on this site

>>13812995
Well it was the world record timed by Guinness
Apparently she does it alot, haven't watched the video so I don't know if there is a proper filling requirement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DLCnkUev2k

>>13813304
what the actual fuck did I just watch

>>13813304
>triple cooked chicken breast.

>>13813323
>green fucking potatoes.

>>13813304

>>13813331
Here's your (you)

>>13809155
Tofu is actually soy.

>>13813304
>chicken breasts
>bake
>one hour
>185°C
It's over before it begins.

>>13812846
They're both staged, Dumbo.

>>13812846
The guy on the right is supposed to strike you as a slob you idiot.

>>13810358
Usually sensualists are the most filthy people. Dude lust. Dude sex. If their homes are that disgusting, just imagine the inside of their souls. Reminder to bridle your passions as you would a horse or they will rob you of all control over life for illusionary cheap pleasures that when you are apart from, you will be sad and discontent .

>>13813282
Why wouldn't you just hold your spoon and fork normally without attaching it to the phone?

>>13811922
This is why I advocate arming homeless people with guns.

>>13813423

>>13810391
>real food
Muh burger with extra dollop of cheese.

>>13813426
Because that wouldn't be funny.

can someone post the chinaman eating a rat head first?

>>13813438
>chicken stock
>vegan

>>13813508
wagie, can you not read? It says vegetable stock.

>>13813508

>>13811980
based

>>13813001
I'm your neighboor

>>13810358
kek

>>13813539
cannibalism is so disturbing.

>>13813508

>>13810358
IPZ-433

Happy Corona-decade

>>13813664
purple is not a color that belongs in food and pretty sure sprinkles don't even count as food

>>13813539
The bugs don't bother as much as seeing her chew with her mouth open desu

>>13813651
So is it a complete coincidence that some Japanese porn happened to resemble that greentext story about the eggs or did they reference that on purpose?

>>13813688
>purple is not a color that belongs in food
Uh, grapes, idiot?

>>13810391
Why just I am an *bleches* American. I need real fo *sharts* ood. *Opens a bag of crisps*. ONly the best diet will due *Cracks open a Mtn Dew*. We here in *fats* USA only *Wipes burger grease from chins* only eat the finest *Throws Banquet Meal in Microwave* food. *Has heart attack for the 5th time*

I used to unironically take fat off takeaway pizza. Lately because of corona I've been sucking up as much fat as possible because of corona and my limited supplies.

>>13809563
This is a fakery

>>13810666
Satan trips

She shouldn’t be showing her cleavage tho

>>13811980
Your dad is a bully and that’s not a nice thing
What kind of boomer retard reached his son to hate like that
And shame on you for not recognizing how messed up that behaviour is

>>13810358
How is he filming when both his hands aren't holding the camera

>>13809150
The virgin lunch vs The Chad Degustation

>>13810666
this

>>13813304
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evUWersr7pc

>>13813415
And?

>>13811922
Ugh what gross debauchery is this??

>>13813688
It's a cake, dipshit.

>>13811922
I was praying at the end that attention fag got stabbed and bled out

>>13813290
yeah same here, I always feel like white ones are more artificial somehow even though I know there's no difference

>>13813981
true, they just look so squeaky clean like something that comes from a factory

>>13810401
Donuts.
With beans as a filling?

What the fuck.

>>13813431
Oh, brilliant.

>>13814006
I's a japanese thing, they didn't get chocolate until after WW2

>>13813497
That's gonna be a yikes from me dawg

>>13813777
dilate

>>13814063
god I hope all the European countries genocide themselves and have all their women be impregnated by packs of diseased niggers. they deserve it.

>>13814073
>genocide themselves
corona-chan is doing a good job of that already

>>13813308
>he

>>13813415
You're not one of those people that actually hate soy just because of the meme, right?

>>13813497
>>13814024
grossness aside, is beer cheese dip really that easy to make?

>>13810581
Based

>>13814115
I'm surprised all the /pol/lacks haven't gone vegan yet, the amount of estrogen in milk products and all the hormones in meat will turn them into weak emasculated milkboys if things proceed like this

>>13810666
Are women really this jealous?

>>13810666
I just find the long nails overrated but holy shit, bro.

>>13810581
I do this with my 6 year old to make him eat the end pieces

>>13812872
opie and anthony

>>13811922
Cake is still wrapped in plastic, I'd still eat it.

>>13811922
wow I can't believe don't know what this is. even more newfags then I realized.

it's from oppie and anthony and yes that dud is a notorious cunt

>>13813282
The absolutely most touched and germiest thing we own, and putting your utensils right onto the dirtiest portion of that. This was SNL parody, and not real right?

>>13813374
you're making this image way funnier than it is supposed to be.

>>13813337
that's funny, to me it seemed more like a woman than an incel

>>13814273
It wasn't an SNL parody, but it was a joke.

>>13810577
Hey this one's actually cool.

>>13813637
she has a beautiful nose.

>>13814006
Those beeans are sweet, so it's a pretty decent thing to stuff a donut with.

>>13814206
>Murderous tyrants in love

>>13813282
CORONACHAN!

>>13813745
Has be a reference to the green text, although the screenshot anon posted a bit farther up I think is a random copypasta. I swear I remember seeing that green text before 2012

>>13813688

>>13813304
What the FUCK

>>13813323
I live for rube goldberg machines desu

>>13814116
Yeah. What did you think it would be like?

>>13813438
kek, this burger is literally pure carbs
>white burger bun: ~5 g of protein pr. 100 g
>jackfruit: 1.7 g pr. 100 g
I rarely eat meat myself but why try to trick people? At best it's gonna be a nutrient poor imitation of meat that isn't fool anyone since it lacks protein. Just eat lentils and beans for fuck's sake

>>13811922
So what do you call white people who act like total niggers?

>>13814843
so... Oreos dipped in condensed milk ?

>>13810666
Ok incel

>>13811980
>Imagine being proud of having an underage dad

>>13815144
that girl (male) is quite adept at having high pressure fluid shoot into their mouth...

>>13812876
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yXPucwIc0E

>>13813513
whats the joke

>>13813001
hey man, I'm a stoner but I'm productive.

>>13813282
I heard it lights up when you get a notification too guys, it's pretty cool!

>>13813754
that's geoduck right?

>>13810347
>tilapia
>avocado
>cilantro
Why not just shit on a plate? Much less effort, same result.

>>13809181
coconut oil is disgusting

>>13813001
people who complain about stoners are the worst

>>13814843
thanks doc

>>13815861

>>13813438
Only 57 steps! It's that easy!
Carnists btfo!

>>13813304
cant someone slip some arsenic into the recipe?

>>13813603

>>13815702
you are such an immense retard to the point where I cant even find a proper reaction image to respond to your incredibly dense statement

>>13810358
good ol plinkett

>>13810666
Youre either a woman or a pessimistic type incel

youre right tho, muscular women are disgusting

>>13814206
>ywn cross drumsticks with glorious leader
I don't think I'm gonna make it bros.

>>13813754
>Muh dick.

>>13813438
>What if I were to tell you that...
Every fucking time with these faggots. They're just so impressed with themselves because they can make shit that isn't meat seem like meat to unsuspecting idiots who probably just think "huh that's an odd pulled pork sandwich, but whatever." Culinary masters have been able to pull this off for decades if not centuries and never fucking bothered because veganism is retarded, and yet every time some fucking tard makes a mushroom resemble a steak, it's some feat worth making a video about. Go fuck yourself.

>>13816501
That is so fresh.

>>13813423

It's a meme you dip

>>13814006
I tried these before and they're pretty good desu ka
>>13814013
They also didn't bake bread until then, so it's pretty obvious that they used the bean filling on purpose.

>>13813729
>being this much of a fag

>>13809964
Finally Jack has found his true calling.

>>13815862
Shut up you dumb fuckin hippy

>>13813754
it infuriates me how she just dumps sauce all over it and her hand.

>>13813754
chode duck

>>13810581
Wrong side dude

>>13811945
DICKS

>>13816986
Heh. He's kind of a wild guy. All his friends agree he's crazy.

>>13811985
seethe more

>>13813438
>Destroying a perfectly good jackfruit with a mockery of a recipe

>>13813323
>that dry looking cake
>nothing to drink with

>>13813688
APOLOGIZE

>>13810581
>american "bread"

>>13815084
niggers

>>13813438
I wouldn't mind Jess pulling my pork, if you catcc my drift

>>13815084
>>13817260
Wiggers. It's a phrase that predates this millennium.

>>13816906
is this jaw strength achievable natty?

>>13815582
not a joke, just pointing out that it was vegetable stock and not chicken stock like the other anon claimed

>>13816614
or maggotts

>>13815582
oh wow that's silly of anon

>>13817400
ah right cheers

>>13813777
>crisps

>>13817895

>>13817895
He couldn't even spell belches right either. Fucker don't know owt about Americans.

>>13812876
is that the kid he choked out for smoking weed?

>>13817965
is pretty stupid how vegans want to make vegetarian versions of meat plates instead of calling it what they are

>>13811980
Oh my god based Dad.
You swag to the maximum
Swag on a hunnid-thousand, hundred-trillion
Oh goddamn, Based Dad

>>13810391
they say vegans are angry at people not being vegans. but if u eat a little tofu the meateaters fucking shit thei pants lol

>>13813415
yes tofu is made from soybeans. everybody know that.
it is from good soybeans tho, all the bad soy that ruins the world you read about is the soy they give to animals.

tofysoy is just good, as long as you don't eat very very much. but nothing is good in large quantities

>>13818009
>not calling it Wuhan wings

>>13818009
why do people say sausage instead of pigassholes?

>>13818247
Because they are different things

>>13812846
Anyone who eats pizza using cutlery is a faggot.

>>13816886
mommy~

>>13812846

>>13809964
Imagine jack going to town on your booty hole whilst you jack off

>>13818354

>>13811980
>called him a faggot
>Love you dad
Ohh the irony

>>13818204
Faggot

>>13818200
What is this?!

>>13818287
Is that the fucking eggman in his booth in the background

>>13818517
deed it is him

>>13813044
Eggscelent post.

>>13818546
>takes a wild tumble rolling on the ground
>the fort holds steadfast
>surly man still didn't get out
kek

>>13813323
the butter thing is pure genius

>>13816906
absolute chad

>>13813323
fun fact: he actually broke the laptop during this

>>13810526
Add milk

>>13810577
Do Americans really?

>>13816501
I was waiting for maggots to errupt.

>>13818642
im surprised the laptop didnt kill the toddler. would be a cool rube goldberg abortion

>>13809150
your thread has been hi /jack/ed

>>13818008
no that jack jr, jack choked his older son garret

>>13814073
Mutts Law

>>13810577
Iron deficiency is no joke.

>>13815084
Irish

>>13816575
>this kills the chicken

>>13818698
>Jack
>Big Boss grill
>Can seemingly survive food that would kill a normal man
Is Jack the fourth clone of Naked Snake?

>>13813001
My god you fucking retards like to whine don't you? I have to smell your shitty curry all day or cigarette smoke or whatever nasty fucking food you cook all of which will actually sinks into fabrics and remains for a long time so you can smell some fucking reefer smoke or vapour for 10 minutes that will then disappear forever

>>13811922
based Opie what a chad

>>13811980
hippies btfo

>>13809964

>>13818856
>yes

>>13811922
>>13818870
The guy really is a genuine sociopath.

>>13810666
I don't give a fuck what watch she wears when she shoves my dick down her throat

>>13812846
Guy on the left probably has AIDS

Anyone have the green olive, cherry tomato spaghetti gif? It was posted two days ago and I was going to make it but forgot some ingredients.

>>13809150

Is left satire? I'm going to assume it's satire.

>>13819367
>1. Shock and Denial

>>13809964
Looks like an ISIS execution video, I ain't click that shit nigga.

>>13819380
It's even worse.

>>13818725
>Cut sea scallops to bay scallop size
>Basically making cornbread twice

>>13819260
>the butter crack injection
top kek

>>13813304
Do Americans really...

>>13810358
Either this guy is the ultimate weeb or this was actually filmed in Japan.

>>13816906
Not gonna lie, looks pretty badass

>>13819367
Yes, obviously. Much like how the right is staged and it's his friend filming.

>>13819442
The one on the right is legit. He just came out of a two-week quarantine for coronavirus.

>>13819417
down south, yes. Hopefully Coronavirus gets them

>>13819260
that file name

>>13813754
her face morphs like 5 times in this video

>>13813423
you lost me at horses

>>13810526
I fgeel the same way. I am a real egg perfectionist and can;t stand how unmixed they usually are. same with fried eggs, which are 90% of the time WAY overdone and brown.

>>13819510
>I am a real egg perfectionist

>>13819513

>>13810581
grosest part is the skippy "peanut butter" (sugary peanuts) and "jelly" (sugary jam which would be sweet enough without extra) on surely a wonderbread loaf of some kind, which is sugary.

>>13819516

>>13819520

>>13813973
Most people who know who that is pray for the same thing every day.
But watching him become the new Scorch isn't bad either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9M6n57tfJU

>>13813044
INTO TO THE WOK
OVER THE FIRE
WITH NO REGARD FOR A THING BUT THAT I'M
THE LORD OF THE EGGS
I RULE SANDWICH MAKING

HOW DOES HE LEAVE WITHOUT BREAKING?

>>13816501
>ywn eat still beating heart

>>13816575
>chikn makes egg
>refuses to poop
>creates a new egg around it
It's like when you install mods in oblivion and glitches happen

>>13817390
Only if you've never eaten sugar.

>>13818725
Leave it to niggers to fuck up seafood. There is no easy way to make seafood bad, but there it is.

>>13813664
ah come on, that is kinda cute

>>13815097
you can reduce anything to ingredients and eat it as porridge, making something creative is the point.

>>13818516
im guessing its a shokugeki no souma live action show, since it looks pretty silly.

>>13819965
Do to the nature of the hard subs on it, I'm gonna say it's some hong kong flick...

Maybe one half of a Godfrey Ho hack job.

>>13812846
You are reading too much into it faggot.
The guy on the left is a faggot like you, cares too much about what others think of him and is one extreme, while the guy on the right is a disgusting pig with zero fucks given about what others think aka the other extreme.
Faggot.

>>13813044
How does this webm manage to enter every thread?

>>13813754
Christ there is no race of people uglier than the Koreans

>>13818353
>mindful of his actions and decisions

If this were true, he'd know that taking the grease off the top of the pizza is useless as it won't remove any significant calories from it

>>13820252
i think what you meant to ask is "how does he manage to exit out of his shack?"

>>13816792
>have no table manners

>>13818725
I feel like cooking scallops that long is a really bad idea.

>>13819526
>insanely dulled nails
Can China go 5 minutes without lying about some bullshit?

>>13819517
>sugary jam
Or as people who aren't retarded call it, "jam." Because jam has a lot of sugar in it.

>>13820918
Not as much as American jelly, but less than American jello which is what I would call jelly.

>>13818759
lel

>>13819561
Can't believe he gave up his mega jaw strength the instant he drank that coconut milk

>>13818009
i mean thats great and all, but not only do you not know if its burned, you would also not know if its raw

just press the chicken, if its stiff then its good

>>13820981

>>13821007
>this is a pizza burrito
thats a fucking rolled up pizza

>>13821021
nigga the fuck you think a burrito is. rolled up food.

>>13820987
>>13820981
Do Americans really

>>13821057
>Americans

>>13821077
Who's getting paid here?

>>13821077
She's smiling with amusement as though this is a novel activity for her. Is it really on the menu?

>>13819470
This. Gooks disguise their true bug features with filters like some alien trying to assimilate into human society.

>>13810666
go to bed bateman

>>13813044
Who is he? Where was this shot? I always imagine this video was taken early in the morning, maybe before dawn, hence the lighting. I like to imagine that all those eggs are there because he's just getting started, his egg stand just opened, and he'll be using every one of those eggs by the end of the day. I wish I could be one of his customers, standing in the pre-dawn mist, awaiting my morning reward from the surly egg king, before starting a hard, fulfilling day of work.

>>13813304
halfway through this damn vid and I'm already exhausted

>>13813497
imagine if that was ur benis

>>13813539
cute

>>13813001
quit being such a tightass dude just go over and blaze it and make some friends once in a while, damn

>>13818009
that's a halloween dish, that's bloody bat wings!

>>13821022

Yet they blame us for the spread.

>>13821002
whoa
what is this?!

>>13818725
alright this might taste good but why does she just set aside half of the cornbread mix?

>>13821077
I'll have what he's having.

>>13821424
>>13821424

new

>>13815198
>he

>>13813304
I've had that before and it's actually real good.

>>13816008
fucking vegans

>>13817965
Even if it’s made properly it’s still unseasoned tofu and the breading will be the only appealing part of it.

>>13818863
>will you guys are just as bad, man
Shut up you stupid stoner

>>13813304
1:02
>well it was kind excesive with all those ingredients but doesn't look that ba...
1:03
>oh shit i don't like were this is going...
1:14
>oh my god why?
1:30
>ok i done with this shit
Surprised that they didn't deep fried that whole "pizza" again and put on the oven again

>>13815582
Vegans are the joke.

>>13820927
I swear this sentence structure makes no sense.
Not as much as American jelly, but less than (not as much as) American jello which is what i would call jelly?

>>13813323
>that tiny feminine bite of potato
>effete face and mannerisms
>post irony moustache

>>13811980
Your Dad is based
You're a fag for loving a dude though

>>13811985
gay hands typed this post

>>13814238
why wouldn't he eat them otherwise?