/ck/ - Food & Cooking

hardtack

good time to learn to make it for when you end up in a fema camp with food shortages in 3 months

>>13814834
Just work on becoming a clean dropper
I have not wiped in years

>>13814868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G7GRjHbVms

Eat nothing but MRE's and dont chew the gum

>>13814834
eat psyllium husk. you won't be constipated but your shit won't be smeary and you will use less paper.

>>13814834
cheese

>>13814834
Learn to wipe with leaves or your hand like 99.99% of us have been doing. Do you think my ancestors who homesteaded the prairies in the US had fucking toilet paper? There's not much documentation, but I would imagine femine hygeine was a bigger issue.

Compared to the pioneers, we're absolutely weak and worthless. They'd laugh you off the face of the earth. You can't even wipe your ass let alone preserve food.

>>13814834
Bananas

Wash your ass in the shower

What you really want is loose, wet shits. That way you can shit in the shower and it flows down the drain while you simultaneously wash your ass.

we survived as a species for how long without modern toilet paper

we'll be fine ya pansy

>>13815023

peice of newspaper and some leaves. or toilet paper, your right tho in the 30s there would have been lots of stuff they didnt have, but even in the 1860s they woulda had outhouses or some other kind of hole in the ground toilet, and no running water, in no shape or form would they have wiped with their hand you faggots. it's really unsanitary and we have known this for a long time...its kind of part of our culture to avoid getting shit on any part of your body other than your ass. and if you live in india your body is used to that level of bacteria, which is what gives us diarrhea if we eat there.

>>13815023

That is no way answers his question. Go LARP somewhere else.

Pasta, every day.

>>13814834
Just get a biday dummie

eat a wicker chair

>>13814834
>2007+13
>not owning a bidet
If you get mud on your hands, do you just use a dry rag and call it good enough?

>>13815129
>What you really want is loose, wet shits. That way you can shit in the shower and it flows down the drain while you simultaneously wash your ass.

>>13814834
>he didn't take the bidetpill

Ngmi

>>13815187
>spraying shitwater everywhere

>>13815187
a slight shit smell is manly.
let me guess, you also shave and bleach your asshole and then apply a gentle splash of tangerine essential oil before putting on your sissy pacifier

>>13815267
Only a gayboy would know what those things are

>>13815272
is that supposed to be a refutation?

>>13815187
>If you get mud on your hands, do you just use a dry rag and call it good enough?
Yeah, dumbass. Anyone that's out in nature on a regular basis does that. Grow up, soy boy.

>>13815158
It precisely answered his question and since my ancestors homesteaded on the prairie I'm not larping. And when I've camped for extended periods I've wiped with leaves. Works fine. My question is how about feminine hygeine? You can't find any documentation about it, so I assume she used cast off rags and washed the blood off, lol, idk. But why aren't women buying up feminine hygeine products, that's more difficult than doing w/o toilet paper.

>>13815267
>smelling like shit is manly
holy fuck

>>13815470
my dom ddy said he likes my man cave a little tainty

yummers :3

Eat high fiber foods

>>13815316

>He asks for foods
>You give him a historical reenactment of what you saw on the History Channel last night while eating hot pockets.

>>13814868
I can smell you through the CAT6, degenerate.

>>13814838
Must suck living in poverty.

>>13814838
When you're in the camps you aren't going to have a choice of what you eat. Everyone gets the same slop.

>>13815023
You could also use rags and then wash those rags after enough have been used. As long as you have soap you'll always have a way to wipe your ass.

>>13815706
Not as much as your mum.

>>13814834
>Since toilet paper is basically a black market item now, what foods can I eat that will constipate me so I won't have to take shits as often?
Opioids

>>13815742
My mum makes me cookies, thanks.

>>13814834

>>13815156
>newspaper
Rarer than tp.

>>13815536
>>13815734
So still haven't seen any argument as to why feminine hygiene products aren't flying off the shelf when staunching stinking wretched blood flow is more difficult than cleaning an ass.

Don't tell me our glorious female populous knows how to take proper care w/o J&J.

TP king here, what foods will cause wild stomach noises and turbo shits so I can use all this toilet paper?

>get a barely need TP at all anymore
even then just dab my ass with a paper towel if in the next few weeks I still can't get it or not shitting at work.

>>13814834
If you eat healthy you actually only shit like once every 3-5 days. People shitting once per day is because of an ultra-processed shit diet. Constipating yourself will only make your shit painful and your anus unhygenic because you will frequently have little nuggets that don't come out with the main ship because your shit is so large and unhealthy.

>>13814834
you eating at home? you dont need TP then, just use the shower

just use soap and water in the shower...why are americans so weird
>>13815267
the pacifier also goes in the anus

>>13815857
drink a few cups of pure apple juice every day after a meal, wa la

>>13815951
>>13816120
>shower
The particles build up and clog the drain after a week or two

>>13816127

the average person uses one roll per day...

>>13816159
Do you fucking use 12 sheet rolls

>>13815267
>a slight shit smell is manly
You disgust me, and you are a nigger in both body and soul.

>>13816166
hes a girl

>>13814985
Oorah. Even POWs deserve better.

>>13815756
Chinga babies get birthed from time to time.

doxycycline

>>13815852
Because the TP freakout isn't based in logic. People aren't buying TP because there's a rational fear that they'll run out. They're buying it for emotional satisfaction.

>>13816377
This. Panic buying isn't ever logical. People see a situation they have no control over and they go and buy a bunch of shit to make themselves feel better.

>>13814834
>not using bidet
Do most Americans really?

>>13815852
They are in my area. Where do you live?

>>13815265
No, you spray it on your asshole dumbass

>>13815143
We also survived as a species by making mud huts, drinking dirty water, and shitting in pits. Not having toilet paper isn't going to kill me, but not having it will make me no better than a savage.

And before a big-brain mentions a bidet, I'd still have to dry my arse.

>>13817796
use a cloth you dumb person. hang it to dry. if it has any shit on it, you failed

>>13817934
Ya'll faggots forgetting about the based method of cleaning ass which was a common sponge on a stick soaking in vinegar that was used by the ancient Romans in the baths.

>>13817938
ok, let's buy all the vinegar now and have to rinse out a sponge full of shitty vinegar in the sink

>>13817938
Their baths had troughs of running water and the sponge was rinsed off

>>13815771
your mum makes me hard

Broomstick handle