/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13798873
Damn, look at those forearms

>>13798873
This all seems quite silly. Crab scarcity, short harvest seasons, and cost per pound is such a high priced market thing, they can easily use humans to process it and not even affect the market value.
Chicken yes, crabs no.

God help us all if crabs gain intelligence and see this.

>>13798873
Are they all the same size?

>>13798944
Probably sorted by sized before they go in the stroggificator.

>>13798943

they're fucking useless animals. i resent their presence. they dont deserve to breathe the same air as me. i detest seeing, hearing, or smelling them. they are not worthy of a level of consciousness. truly peasants. they should be harnessed to till the fields for crops. truly the lowest of the low. i hate crabs.

>>13798965

based crabhater

>>13798965
>they dont deserve to breathe the same air as me

>>13798873
i don't give a crab

>>13799009
should have known the crab apologists would be out in full force. crabs do breathe air and are a direct contributor to global warming based on the co2 that they produce. they regularly cut underwater cables because they are so stupid, mistaking them for prey. this has caused a sharp spike in the price of teflon, a material that is used. crabs are fucking retarded and should be erradicated as a species. luckily, steps have been put in place by french guiana, in a 2014 study presented to the UN

>>13799015
fug :DDD

>>13799019

> global warming
> underwater cables
> teflon
> french guiana

i.. what

>>13798943

>>13799019
What other animals do you hate?

>>13799019

this guy is either retarded or a complete genius

>>13799073
The PC term is "mentally ill", but as it has been for ages, fun to mock and free entertainment.

>>13799042
This kills the crab

>>13799019

>>13799019
Based

Is this an Alien Resurrection deleted scene

>>13798873
Well yea, that thing probably cost several million to develop. It would be pretty messed up if it couldn't kill crabs after all that.

>>13799019

based crab anon, do you think crabs are respnsible for the covid19 virus??

>>13798873
>quake 4

>>13799019
>crabs do breathe air
I stand correctly.
I knew they had gills and just kind of assumed they held their breath, so to speak, when they were on land. Turns out they can, possibly, breathe air with the gills if they keep them wet and that's why they blow bubbles.
In light of this I can only assume that everything else in your post is also science fact. My apologies.

>>13799151
>correctly
corrected. What an amusing typo. Changes the meaning to opposite.

>>13798943

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhYj5KlDlNo

soon

>>13799019
Fuck off. Crabs wouldn't be cutting underwater cables if it weren't for people causing overpopulation of crabs by fucking up the ocean's ecosystem. The amount of CO2 crabs produce is trivial, especially when you compare us to other sea life

>>13799179
>us

Yoooo I wanna eat some crab

>>13799179
Are you forgetting which species are the alpha of this earth? The human race always takes precedence over animals, especially crabs. Should the convenience of electricity and the internet cables you are using be taken away so some crabs can continue to live and multiply freely? Absolute traitor to your own species

CRAB LIVES MATTER!

>>13799042
notice that the crab is red, it was already boiled

>>13799255
>Are you forgetting which species are the alpha of this earth?
The entire economy, globally, is shut down right now because of a cold virus, man.
The Martians are probably having a good laugh about it after what we did to them during the War of the Worlds.

>>13799264
>CRAB LIVES MATTER!

Crabs >>>>>>>>>> Niggers

>>13799264
Yes, only crab lives matter. Fuck all the other crustaceans & fish in the ocean.

- 'Merican nigger

>>13799193
>He isn't a fish.
We caught one, boys!

>>13799264
Did you know that every day in America, white police officers make a sport of shooting and eat crabs for enjoyment?

>>13799265

you can't be too careful with crabs.

>>13798873
Its so efficient and yet unnecessary, its fascinating.

>>13799264
If I was a crab, I'd demand reparations.

>>13799019
Based.

>>13798943
Based redditchad

>>13799019
substitute crabs for white people and there are major truth bombs in this post. I think this guy is like Sam Hyde tier truth teller

>>13798943
it turns out we were the crabs in the bucket all along

>>13799019
this should be a fucking banner

based schitzo

>>13799019
brain damage???

>>13799393
the time of the blood reckoning draws near

>>13799357
Am I off base here or is the schizoposting on 4chan worse than it used to be? I'm talking over a long period of time here, like compare now to 6 or 7 years ago.

this seems like more effort than doing it by hand or just selling the whole crab

>>13799019
Absolutely based.

>>13799019
At least we know the quarantine is working.

>>13799334
White people regularly cut underwater cables, because they mistake them for prey?

>>13799019

we're going to war against the crabs

>>13799709

>>13798873
pretty awesome to see how much we've dominated other species

>>13799718

isn't it erotic? i get pretty hard thinking about that innocent crab, bound and helpless, on that cold platform. if i were there, i don't think i could help myself from sexing the crab

>>13799725
Eat the crab, anon

>>13799703
substitute underwater cables for European history and substitute prey for white guilt

>>13799865
White people regularly cut European history, because they mistake them for white guilt?

>>13799871
Yep.

>>13799541
2016 election brought literal boomer schizos to this board

>>13799671

death to automation

>>13798873
The video is reversed, it's actually a crab factory

>>13798873
he'll be fine

>>13800178

god i wish that were me

>>13800178
Is there a quick way to watch a webm in reverse? I feel like this would be funny.

Someone post that video of Ja/ck/ talking about some random shit while clips of hundreds of crabs being run over keeps playing

>>13799019
Based

>>13799264
claws typed this post

>>13799019
am crabpilled now, thenk

>>13799019
you're just jealous of their big meaty claws.
You'll never attract a mate

>>13798873
In 2009 I went to crabby meadows, a retirement home for crabs and asked one of the huge senior alpha crabs there to bust put the pincers one last time and brutally nip my foreskin off and rip off my frenulum, literal cock mutilation via angry SEAFOOD. We love seafood here SAVE THE CRABS.

AAAGGHHH. FUCK. CRABS. I'M ON MARIJUANA.

>>13801330
and this kids is why you don't smoke weed

Fuck crabs. Those stupid pieces of shit probably donated to Bernie Sanders and pee sitting down

>>13798923
he's there in case the crabs break free

>>13799316
>reddit
>chad

>>13799019
based schizo

>>13798873
imagine getting this owned

>>13801330
do you work at skycorp

>>13799019
Not even the biggest strongest crab in all of the seven seas could cut an underwater cable.
They are reinforced to the gills.

>>13798873
Where in china was this filmed

>>13799272
Based

>>13801972
This is false. Crabs are one of the strongest (yet most retarded) animals in the animal kingdom. It measures around 3570 PSI. It's detectable by the mars ground rover (who was put there by the banana companies, not NASA, but that is another subject altogether.) Teflon can be puncutured by a mere 3000 psi. Underwater ocean hippos can't even puncture it, but they routinely try (as can be seen by the internet companies live feeds.) Luckily for us, satellite trackers placed on seagulls have been closely monitoring crab activity and report their antics back to us, and their population is being slowly eradicated. We suspect the Jordinians have introduced an underwater virus, but as their government refuses to cooperate with us, we can only engage in dialogue through mutual acquaintances

>>13801990

oh god hes back

>>13801990
[citation needed]

>>13801990
Underwater cables dont use teflon for the outer cover.
Youre right about the mars rover though.

Best thread in decades

>>13798873
Good lord, theres a human head on the conveyor belt. Look closely.

>>13799019
Based

Those crabs were already dead.

>>13802000
>Underwater cables dont use teflon for the outer cover.
That's just what they want you to think.

>>13801990

i wanna know more about the banana company on mars and the underwater hippos

hail crabby

>>13801330
>lower right corner
>how dare you?!

>>13801330

GET YOUR PINCERS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY CRAB

DR. ZOIDBERG DR. ZOIDBERG. DO DO DO DO . DR ZOIDBERG

i believe we're delving into uncharted levels of autism

>>13799019
Holy fuck pls make this a pasta I have been laughing for a while now

>>13798965
You're just jealous because of your limb deficiency

>>13798923
Definitely vists /fit

>>13801990
okay, this is kinda based

>>13798873
imagine a machine doing that to humans
you're brought down a conveyor belt and a huge spinning blade just cuts off your left leg, right leg, left arm and right arm just like that

so... the banana companies, the americans, the french Guiana's, and the jordinians, are conspiring from space to exterminate crabs because of interuptions in telecommunications?

gotcha

>>13803672
> /ck/

>>13803663
We are already in the crab machine, we just haven't reached the blades yet.

>>13803672
Comfy

>>13798873
It's already been cooked, retard.

>>13803721
>
no its struggling helplessly

mm, i wish that were me. don't you?

>>13803750

>>13803750
Who the hell would break down raw crab?
They're best cooked whole.
I mean, yeah you have to cut their faces off first, but cooking cut legs means the juices all run into the cooking water.

>>13799703
I know I do

>>13801990
Incredibly based and sciencepilled

>>13800178
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1582826057679.webm

>>13798923
>touching his face
that's how you spread corona

>>13799019
Include me in the screenshot!

>>13798873
Reminds me of the techno-admiral in the metabaron series

>>13801990
Damn. Fuck crabs.

>>13803918
>it's true
we're doomed

>>13798873
We should build a factory like this but instead of chopping up crabs, it chops up 3rd world people

>>13798873
Who gives a crab?

>>13804316
Idk why but this made me snort

>>13799019
you alright buddy?

>>13799019
This is brilliant. I want to believe anon posted it unironically.

>>13798873
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRwmeCnCDw

>>13798965
You're under arrest for animal hate speech

>>13803721
>selling cooked crab
Are you having autism or do you want the world to have another mexican beer virus?

>>13805177
you'll never get me alive

fuck the crabs!

>>13799019
Is this the final redpill?

>>13801330
Just an average day in baltimore

>>13799019
>this has caused a sharp spike in the price of teflon, a material that is used.
>a material that is used.
you can tell because of the way it is

>>13803663
yeah, all i can think about is how the nazis used industry to exterminate the jews
imagine doing that today
you'd need far, far fewer workers and you could kill probably a few orders of magnitude more people

>>13805878
The nazis were incredibly inefficient in their extermination of people they deemed undesirable (which was not just Jews, by the way.)
Why build camps for them at all when you could just run the exhaust from the train engines through the wagons and arrive at your destination with the prisoners already dead?
Run the trains out to old mining shafts or quarries and dump the bodies on arrival.

Hell, even if you do for some reason want them to die in camps you don't have to waste precious wartime resources on gassing them. A gas chamber is air tight, so all you need to do is stuff it full of people and wait. They supply their own poison gas just by breathing.

the biggest lie about the Holocaust is that Germans are efficient.

>>13798923
Forechad

>>13805901
what set you off

>>13798943
We'll just attack their weak points for massive damage.

>>13806088
they snib at over 3k psi. they dont have any fucking weak points

we're doomed

>>13799270
>The entire economy

Not if you're a programmer. I'm working from home faggots.

>>13800178
Fuck you that made me laugh

>>13803918
How are you not a stickied post? Hilarious.

>>13798873
This is like some Matrix shit.

>>13805926
He's not wrong.

>>13806197
Isn't it true that code monkeys smell just as bad as real monkeys?

>>13803918

fuckin lold

this thread is gold

>>13799019
Okay, mr. crabologist.

>>13806234
>says the service nigger who smells like a deep fryer 24/7 and will have to rely on gibsmedats soon
ell oh ell

>>13803918
Breddy gud, had a serious chuckle

>>13801357
kek, i love this post

>>13799019

This might be the single funniest post I've ever seen on 4chan.

its a crabspiracy

>>13799019
wat

>>13806467

>>13799671
Because they get turned into pic related so restaurants don't have to spend time processing them. It's hard as fuck to break down a crab elegantly by hand.

>>13806978

disgusting creatures

CRABS ARE PEOPLE

i've been in this stupid fucking thread so many times im starting to believe it

do crabs really undermine the telecommunications industry

fuck

>>13801357
it's been 10 years since the last incident, but he's still waiting.

>>13799019
I hate crabs now

>>13803918
fucking amazing

I am a crab and i am ok with this

>>13803918

holy shit i lol'd. this thread is full of gems.

>>13804323
Ok now this is based

>>13807019
you've taken the crabpill

"This kills the crab" - scientist

But what is he doing with his fingers?

>>13807053

his middle finger is clearly gone. hes been a victim of the 3k psi snap bite

>>13799019
>crabs do breathe air
Well, that settles it anons.

>>13807053
He's pinpointing the teflon pinch flight path
(say that 3 times fast)

God damn, I want crab so badly now... I'm thinking they should be cheap since not many people are out there buying.

>>13807981
the crab mafia will get you.

>>13807926
Some of these videos are gross. Not removing the face part where the intestines are, really?

>>13799019
>>13798965
>This has caused a sharp spike in the price of Teflon
Wtf I love crabs now.

Thoughts on stone crabs?

>>13799019
>calls crabs a weak and useless animal
>poisons human air, destroys human infrastructure, and crashes human economy with teflon futures
Who's weak now?

>>13808209
Don't give the crabs drugs and they won't be stoned anymore anon.

>>13803614

/fit/ doesn't lift

>>13799019
Deploy CRAB-17

>>13799019
go to bed joe

>>13799019
based

>>13798965
Perhaps we could reduce the excess population by eating them. Maybe make handbags out of the children. That will help deal with the Iri- I mean crabs.

>>13799019
god I wish "crab genocider" was my job... just going around on a yacht... killing crabs

>>13799019
uhhhh, based department?

>>13808031
The guts are the best part you faggot

>>13808660

>>13808660
>>13808660

i aint eating that shit nigga

>>13803918
heh

>>13799179
>if it weren't for people causing overpopulation of crabs by fucking up the ocean's ecosystem
How awful, wish we could somehow find a solution to that problem, such as EATING the crabs...

Oh wait...

>>13808209
Sand crabs are the new hotness. I bet you wear a granite platebody, you're hopelessly out of date.

>>13798965
you're just mad because even crabs get more white pussy than white men do.

>>13801330
>wigger is too dumb to know how to use a gun properly because he only ever larped
checks out

>>13799019
Is this the result of prolonged quarantine?

>>13799179
found the crab

>>13799884
that is based

>>13805067
Ofcoure the soulless fucking gook is going to cut their legs off while they're still alive. What the fuck is wrong with dog eating slants and their ability to inflict cruelty onto animals of any and every kind?

>>13809116
I love this Liberal/PETA racism schtick... It's a great reminder to Americans who the real racists & bigots in 'Merica are.

>>13809116
CRAB LIVES MATTER

Death to Chinese!!

>>13799019
based

>>13807852
That seems brutal. I hate seafood.

>>13798965
>>13799019
>crab apologists

>>13809125

not all liberals are racists. you just pay too much attention to the few purple haired, vocal "twitter" racists who do not represent us at all.

>>13809116

I agree with Greta Thunberg & AOC. We need to eliminate overpopulation in savage, meat eating countries and prioritize the welfare of animals & environment over 3rd world human lives. I'm not saying this ironically either.

>>13804420
Don't call me BUDDY, pal...

>>13809125
Since when is cruely to animals a liberal trait? Learn to read nigger.

>>13809125
Also PETA kills dogs, so they're as bad as the zipperheads.

>>13809162
>you just pay too much attention to the few purple haired, vocal "twitter" racists who do not represent us at all.

Yeah, they kinda do. same with your ignorant 'Merican hollywood retards who like to talk out of their ass and lecture people.

>>13809166
>Greta Thunberg & AOC
This is why you 'Mericans are fucking stupid. Your heros in life are a Bartender who can't pass a GED if tested, and an ignorant Child turned into media puppet.

>>13807981
About to blow through the police road block and go to Maryland. Pray for me anon, fuck a quarantine... so hungry.

>>13809235
>implying most Americans agree with either of them

It's only the loud, bra burning feminazis and soicucks from the coast cities that are fans. Most people think they're retarded

>>13809251
go and kill the crabs. schitzo up there would be proud

>>13807988
Lol there's no such thing as the crab maf

>>13809904
This anon sleeps with the fishes.

>>13809235
pls do not equate coastie bigots with real Americans. night & day difference.

>>13799019
Schizoposts make this website worth visiting.

>>13806999
Delicious in butter

>>13799160
Based and rich pilled

>>13798873
I don't know why but this video really disturbs me. Something about machines killing living things with such efficiency. I don't even like crabs. It's just messed up.

>>13810069
crab apologist

>>13810069

should have known the crab apologists would be out in full force. crabs do breathe air and are a direct contributor to global warming based on the co2 that they produce. they regularly cut underwater cables because they are so stupid, mistaking them for prey. this has caused a sharp spike in the price of teflon, a material that is used. crabs are fucking retarded and should be erradicated as a species. luckily, steps have been put in place by french guiana, in a 2014 study presented to the UN

>>13810071

>>13810081
What the fuck is a crab apologist? I've never seen anyone sympathize with a fucking crab. Also, he/she clearly said it was about machines vs. life, not crabs.

>>13803918
This post is gold, this thread is gold, and the mods should sticky this thread before it 404's.

>>13810190
You must be new here, this has been posted dozens of times

>>13810211
lies
this is some fresh OC

>>13807852
This is horrifying. I think crabs are disgusting but why do people invent these machines to torture them? It's fucking sick.

>>13803918
lol nice touch with the clone wars(?) music too

>>13809042
do you post on every sinlge board wtf? anyway, based trap poster.

>>13810342
lord of the rings

>>13799019
based

>>13810342
That's the music of the Isengard forge/the uruk'hai in LotR.

>>13798873
Still one of the best albums ever.