/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Comfy but slight despair cat.

*cough* *cough* yes please scan all my toilet paper *cough* wagie

>>13785271
he based

maybe learn some skills so you don’t complain about a shit job

>>13785266
that's gonna be me later

at least you're getting paid for it stupid turd

>>13785280
he cute

>>13785261
Why are people even hoarding toilet paper? Do they think that Corona is Mexican and so will give you diarrhea or something?

>>13785261
Sounds rough, I don't even like going to the store to shop because of the crowds of sick prepers.

>>13785266
iktf

>>13785261
I feel you bro. I'm the grocery manager at a Wal-Mart. Shit sucks

>>13785318
At this point it's just because it's sold out and people are afraid they won't be able to get any.

Sure would be a shame if someone nudged the supports on the glass juice shelf in the midst of all this panic, eh, wagie?

>>13785261
Here's a quick guide on how to not be a total wagecuck (assuming you work part time, which you probably do)
>Set availability to whatever your preferred hours are (within reason) instead of just saying "anything" to try scoring some brownie points
>Say "no" when they try telling you to do shit you don't have to do
>If they persist in trying to force you to stay after, point out that it's against store regulations or some shit and then leave

I work the meat dept at a kroger and we aren't even opening our counter. We just stock the shelves until we run out of product and then shit around and clean the rest of the day. I've been grinding OSRS.

>>13785261
If it makes you feel better, two days ago I tossed the burnt end of my bagel at this woman who was harassing some stocker because the store was out of canned spinach (???). She tried to come at me, but I just walked away. I think some cream cheese got in her hair or at least I hope so.

Stay strong grocery bro

>>13785261
>Fuck all of you retards coming to stores and panic buying food, water and toilet paper.
I did it 3 weeks ago; the norms said I was paranoid.

>>13785261
>Manager tries to schedule me for 6 days
>say no
>manager tries to schedule me for a close followed by an open
>tell him I'm not showing up for the open if I'm closing the night before

if you can be forced to do 3 12s in a row against your will you are either completely disposable or completely cucked. Either be useful or get some balls.

>>13785318
Lots of entrepreneurs are buying it now just to re-sell it online or through craigslist at marked-up prices.

>>13786442
Will people really buy jacked-up toilet paper over just sucking it up and cleaning their ass some other way?

>>13786442
>>13786448
I know Amazon has forbidden reselling of shit like hand sanitizer, so I wouldn't doubt that most major online venues for resellers have followed suit.

>>13785318
The first TP scare started in Japan and probably Korea as well where a rumor spread that all TP was made in China and that soon enough everyone in China would be in quanratine and there would not be any TP for anyone.

Truth is that Japan produces most of its toilet paper just like most countries produce most of theirs. It's typically only that see-through half a ply bullshit paper found in the toilets of dead malls and community colleges that would be made in China.

But then it was just general hysteria like "oh no! I'm going to be stuck inside for two weeks!" and then people saw other people on the news buying TP and so they went and bought TP of their own the next day and again the news was there and etc. so people now have enough TP to shit for a year.

>>13786381
This is so based. Can’t stop kekking.

>>13786531
it must be a female thing. I swear my aunt that I'm living with right now uses about one tenth of the roll every time she takes a piss. it doesn't help that she's kind of dumb too. rolls only last a few days in this house. can't wait to be done with school and out of here

>>13786662
Seriously how do women use so much? One square to dab it dry and you're done. 5 squares maybe if you're doing the ass.

>>13786381
God Bless you bagel anon

>>13786381
Based anon. Keep fighting the good fight.

>>13785261
at least these idiots will have toilet paper as their primary food when they're forced to stay in side

>>13785318
people like to feel like they're in control in a situation beyond their control. buying toilet paper and hoarding makes them feel safe and in control, even if it's irrational and at the expense of others.

I have a friend who got a source that there was hand sanitizer at this one store, which she needs for her job, and as she arrived this woman was leaving the store with literally all of it. I have no idea why this is even allowed given the circumstances... No paranoid idiot who's going to have years worth of sanitizer deserves to get off with a purchase like that affecting people who also need it.

>>13787131
>at the expense of others.
Why should I care about others over me?

>>13785261
Must be dark times being a grocery jester right now

>delivering pizza to shitty motel
>walking to door
>a black man walks out of a door a few down
>"what kinda pizza dat?"
>"[insert pizza chain name]"
>"yall deliver?"

>>13786338
Which position? Enjoy your 0 bonus next quarter because you didn't meet sales despite duh corona virus

>>13787186
Because we live in a society

>>13785261
Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

>>13785261
At least you don't work for a hospital anon. Now get back to your cage wagie

>>13786381
Based bagel slinger

>>13787449
>The average person uses 1 roll per day
Nigga, what?

You're not forced to do anything. Tell them to get fucked

>>13787449
>the average person uses 1 roll per day
what the fuck are you eating to where you use a roll of tp every day.
also, there's this novel creation called a shower.

>>13787764
He'll lose his job. Not everyone can be a NEET and mooch off their parents.

>>13787779
Projection: The post

Get a new job if you hate the one you have

>>13786531
the irony is i can't imagine a single industrial product that is easier to produce en masse than toilet paper. it's not even good paper, and you don't even need fresh trees to make it

>>13787201
sounds like his sense of humor was too high-iq you for anon

>>13787449
>The average person uses 1 roll per day.
nigger eat more fibre

>>13788046
Most any factory that makes a produce in a large scale runs either 24/7 or at the very least every day just to stay in business and pay the bills. There are entire warehouses of pre-made toilet paper just sitting around waiting to be shipped out, and plenty more is constantly being made. It gets used and bought on a fairly predictable and steady rate normally, so all that needs to happen now is send out larger shipments and possibly more trucks. It's probably the easiest product in the world to restock since it requires no refrigeration and doesn't expire.

>>13788046
there aren't a lot of paper mills left in the US because they smell terrible and no one likes living near them or working in them for that reason

>>13787778
showering instead of using toilet paper is fucking disgusting

>>13788843
You use soap after

>>13785261
>cries about making money
kys zoomer

>>13786381
>things that never happened

>went to the local supermarket on friday
>all canned foods were gone, bought potatoes, celery, carrots, onions, and 5 pounds of beef
>went to the biggest supermarket chain today
>all canned foods were gone, bought potatoes, celery, carrots, onions, and another 5 pounds of beef for some reason
Now I have about 20 pounds of perishable foods I need to process that won't even guarantee my survival for a month when they eventually cut the electricity and the fridge stops working.

>>13788878
Make soup and freeze the extra

>>13786662
>>13786732
Guy who used to have a girlfriend and drunk orgies here. I had a fetish where I liked to watch the GF (or her friends) go to the bathroom (pee) while I was in the tub drinking wine/ rickards red.
Anyways, some women use a square or two. Some do a "hand wrap" like it's going to go up their hand or something :s

>>13787454
My girlfriend is a 3rd year med student on her internal medicine rotation until they got cancelled yesterday. I woke up feeling hungover even though I haven’t drank all week. I’m fucked.

>>13785261
lol and you'll probably even catch it and die now just so I can have a mountain of asswipe.

>>13785261
Your employer isnt allowed to make you do that in America, shut em down.

>>13789208
working 12 hour shifts three days in a row is not that big of a deal, many people have such patterns built into their normal schedules

>>13789208
Are you a teen?

>>13788884
He said they'll cut the electricity, idiot. Fuck. READ.

>>13789222
I used to have a job at a factory that went from 6 AM to 6:15 PM. I quit after 11 days. Fuck that shit.

>>13789334
The factory people at the place I work do 3 or 4 12 hour shifts switching every other week. Its really not a big deal, you can rack up overtime super easily and make a bunch of extra money and get a lot of off days. Only downside really is that other people aren't doing it so a lot of your off time no one else in your life will be off

>>13786442
>entrepreneurs
Except that in the US among other places this is illegal.

>>13789370
Only if you're a business. I don't think you can stop an individual from selling his products at whatever price he wants. Amazon shut him down because they don't want to be involved with bad publicity, but if he was selling this out of his pickup truck he could legally charge $500 a roll.

>>13789246
They're not gonna cut the electricity, why would they?

>>13789246
>doesn't already have a generator to run his appliances in a disaster
Ngmi, sugartits.

>>13789396
Preppers think this is the apocalypse and the city workers are either going to be too scared or dead to go to work so utilities will fail.

>>13788894
HOLY
BASED

>>13789246
Then can the soup. Its not hard.

>>13785261
>see everyone going craycray over this dumb virus
>buys all the toilet paper to sell it online at a higher price
>bussines is going well
>suddenly all online markets points will not let you sell stuff ,wtf
>stuck in my house for quarantine
>the goberment says it will be for more than 3 months
>the whole city's activity is frozen , all places closed down and nowhere to buy food
>all my supplies are gone
>have to survive this nightmare eating those 156 bags of toilet paper.

>>13789393
Hoarding goods during a crisis and gouging people who are panicking is illegal.

>>13786448
if you're dumb enough not to know other ways of getting your butthole clean you're dumb enough to drop 80 bucks on some TP

>>13789468
>help me
>muh nanny state
fuck off statist scum

>>13787186
Because you're a human being capable of empathy?

>>13788867
You'd be surprised what you do when you drink a lot and are somewhere between buzzed and toasted 24/7.

>>13785261
I used to work overnights at Walmart. One time when I was day sleeping I had a nightmare that shopping carts were in my bedroom. What a shitty job

>>13785261
>3 back to back 12 hour shifts
Is that unusual for you?

>>13789544
i prepared myself months ago.

I work in a small convenience store. Business is up but it isn't super crazy yet. I did just have a guy come in claiming beer deliveries are gonna stop because his friend is a delivery driver. Then he bought 5 four packs of some craft IPA we have like a madman.

>>13787449
This pasta stacking made bodies

>>13785261
>Getting a new job at a grocery store pharmacy in a few days
>Probably relatively sanitary, either way I worked in the ghetto for years and wore gloves and sanitized constantly because of all the stinky bums and group home patients we serviced
>Have many rolls of tp at home from before all this, and a decent food stockpile because I've been expecting this shit for years
>Front row seat to watch big fat karens kill eachother over beans and napkins

Man this shit is going to be fun. I can't wait /ck/.

>>13789673
lmao enjoy filling those eventual vaccine prescriptions while dying boomers cough in your face

>>13789673
what's with the napkins things? substitute TP?

>>13785261
my roommate works at target stocking shelves and he told me it's not that bad because he can cough if a customer is approaching him and they will go to a different aisle

>>13786416
Everyone but execs are completely disposable.

>>13790126
Yeah, any paper goods are going at the moment since TP is so scarce. Doesn't really make sense to me over just hopping in the shower to clean your ass or even just having some rags around that you wash.

>>13785261
I haven't gone to the grocery store or bought any food since last week. Miss me with that panic mob shit.

>>13790498
>3 weeks later
>why can't I go shopping outside of the designated hours for my town and why can't I buy anything I actually want to eat

>>13790498
And what are you gonna do when you run out of food and you realize people are still panic buying and nothing's available?

>>13789415
>he genuinely thinks that won't happen
They're predicting 40% of people could get infected and we're sitting at ~3% mortality, so in the US we're looking at almost 4 million dead. If you think any job will continue to function during that you're deluded.

>>13787449
>The average person uses 1 roll per day
I think you mis-remembered and it's average household.

>>13790507
This. If you think there's panic now wait til people start running out of food and the stores are still empty.

>>13790507
its never going to happen, people can only stock up so much

>>13790510
it basically only kills elderly peopel. It will probably end up being a stimulus to the economy overall when the panic dies down as a bunch of elderly unhealthy people stop draining the economy and pass their money on to younger generations that can put it to better use

>>13790507
He'll probably eat that mouse.

>>13790527
>be Mormon
>have full year staple foods at all time
>eating healthy rice and beans while you children of Ham panic and starve
feels good man

>>13785261
I work 3 jobs, every weekend Fri - Sun are 16 hr days. Your just a pussy.

>>13785261
Start coughing at work for a couple days, then go to doctor and complain of flu like symptoms, Call in when you have a doctors note and say that you were told to self quarantine for a few days to see if this is more serious.

>>13785318
Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

>>13786662
I have a lot of surface area and blood okay

>>13785261
Same bro. Worked for 12 hours at the cash register. It was unreal.

>>13788884
>Make soup and freeze the extra
Made stew with all the ingredients I bought and ended up with a whopping 12 whole servings... and ate one for dinner tonight.
Turns out I'm a fridgelet as well because my freezer can only fit 8 of the 11 tupperware containers.
It's been nice knowing you boys, I'll be gone in the first wave.

>>13790691
how many times are you going to post this BS 1 roll lasts me 4 days for 2 people 1 costco case last me 4 months.

>>13790719
Until people learn to not reply.

>>13790719
>navysealpasta.docx

>>13786732
>can just shake his cock dry and doesn't have to worry nearly as much about hygiene and keeping that area clean as women do
One goddamn square will not cut it, and if you're on your rag it's a million times worse.

>>13790691
Use baby wipes you Neanderthal

>>13789370
>land of the free
>forbidden to resell toilet paper
lmao

>>13790631
Atleast I can enjoy a beer, a cup of coffee, a cigarette, and promiscuous sex.

>>13788867
Do you really doubt that an anon threw his bagel at a stupid bitch in a grocery store?

>>13790467
They need you more than you need them especially if the manager is setting you for 6 days. You can also easily replace a grocery store job and at worst temporarily substitute it for fast food if you're some kind of poorfag.

You are all babysitting OT is dope ahit I love working 12 hour days. Your making actual money at that point.

Well, I’ve just come back from the supermarket and some woman literally flipped the fuck out at me screaming.

Doing my weekly shop like I do every week at my local Waitrose, go toilet roll aisle and it’s like a swarm of locusts have been through. So I go to the kitchen towel aisle and that’s all gone as well. I see a shelf with about ten boxes of “man size tissues” and I’m out of bog roll altogether at home so I think well ok I’ll get a few boxes of these. Not big boxes. If I was really careful, one might last me about three days.

As I go to get the third box (I’m only buying three remember) this woman comes out of nowhere lunging over me. Like she actually almost elbowed me in the neck. She grabs literally six boxes and I go “uh, excuse me” because she’s pretty much on top of me.

So she screams at me “YOU’RE HOARDING!”. So I reply to her “no, I’m not, there’s no toilet paper, what else am I supposed to use?”. So she screams in my face (seriously made me think for the first time ever I need to wear a face mask not because of bat flu but the batshit crazies) “THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!”.

I mean, wat?

So I said to her, “are you on fucking meds or something, lady? I just said there’s no toilet paper”. And she goes ranting on (all while her arms are full of the last of the tissue), it’s you, it’s your fault, people like you, yada yada. Absolutely mental.

Anyway, I just said “look, fuck off, take your meds and get a grip, you absolute nutjob” and walked off.

Insane. The whole thing is just insane at this point.

>>13785261
at least you get first pickings of all the food right

>>13785266
literally me the past week because of this quarantine bullshit

>>13790507
I have about a months worth of food. But yeah I'm still going to do supply runs and regularly check the grocery store.

Ultimately I'm hoping i will be able to move out of the city in a couple months like I originally planned and start a garden/livestock breeding.

>>13791094
>completely rudimentary protective measures for the benefit of the population and country, against profiteering scumbags
lmao

>>13790505
You think in 3 weeks no stores will restock? lmao this isn't Mad Max

>>13790510
I don't even know how someone could get so hysterical as this post. Corona's been going for 2 months and only 0.0019% of the world is infected. 40%? GTFO here with that. The 3% mortality rate is skewed because of cases where it swept through and killed 9 people in a nursing home - aka all old, weak, sick people. For working people, who are like 20-50 years old, the kill rate is 0.02%. You're not going to have your power and water cut off.

>>13792650
This. Even in Italy where shit really hit the fan, they have water, they have power, they can still go the grocery store or the pharmacy for food and meds, it's really not the end of society as we know it. Just chill out.

>>13785261
I work in IT for a major grocery chain, I feel really fucking bad when I get calls from stores in the past two weeks. I can just hear how fucking tired they are over the phone. Been trying to get their shit situated promptly when I can since I know how awful retail work can be, did it for 10 years.

Around here (Oregon) Fred Meyer chain is doing a sudden hiring spree so they can keep their stores open longer and fully stocked. I don't know why people think major chains are going to shut down when people are buying like crazy. Though I expect this rush to die off pretty soon as a) people buy what they need and b) people realize the virus isn't as bad as they thought. Around me all businesses, restaurants, shops, banks, etc. are all still open and people are mostly behaving normally aside from these prepper morons.

>>13792835
I was ready to dump all of my money into the S&P500 until I went to the store and realized how badly people are over-reacting. I think I'll wait a week or two as we've barely reached peak hysteria.

>>13785261
you didnt work 36 hours straight you fucking lying piece of shit

>>13792872
Yes I did

>>13792835
>I don't know why people think major chains are going to shut down when people are buying like crazy.
Because they're autistic NEET faggots with no idea how reality works.

>>13792835
we only have 6 million people in oregon we dont have to do anything at all

>>13793008
Most of them are 50 year old women tho

>>13792835
>Around me all businesses, restaurants, shops, banks, etc. are all still open and people are mostly behaving normally aside from these prepper morons.
People who only started buying up shit a couple weeks ago aren't preppers, they're just panicked morons.

>>13793008
>>13792835
retards, it's because people don't want to needlessly expose themselves with repeated trips to the store and to protect from panicking and profiteering idiots who buy up entire stocks.

>>13793042
>to protect from panicking and profiteering idiots who buy up entire stocks.
By buying entire stocks themselves like the fucking retards they are. Hurr durr when I do it it's smert. Derp derp.

>>13793070
learn what stock means

>>13785285
ended up being me all fucking weekend

>>13793100
learn what kill yourself means

>>13786732
>One square to dab it dry and you're done
I have to wipe my vag several times to get all the piss off and then I have to stand and dab dry the rest that will spill out only after I stand up.
I have an inny and not an outie so maybe this is why? I have never seen any other girls piss so I don't know how other women do it.

>>13793042
So what are these people going to do with the rest of their day, lock themselves inside and not go to work or run any errands? What a shitty way to live.

>>13788894
>like it's going to go up their hand or something
What's going to go up their hand?
do you mean that they were going to put their hand up their vag?

>>13791667
She likely isn't a nutjob, just unskilled at staving off panic.
It's likely you're just as unskilled --- and your coolness stems from lower stakes, not greater rationality.

It's possible you're 40, went bankrupt and lost a child to cancer etc. and actually have developed those skills, but then I imagine you'd have the empathy to go along with it.
I don't know. But no part of your story requires mental abnormality to explain. Don't fall in a logic trap.

>>13793106
lmao, fucking mad
>>13793117
preparing for a quarantine. you know what quarantine means?
it means this https://edition.cnn.com/world/live-news/coronavirus-outbreak-03-16-20-intl-hnk/h_e980e97e28a5ccafafe39b2db54ce91f?utm_source=twCNN&utm_term=link&utm_content=2020-03-16T21%3A25%3A39&utm_medium=social

>>13793178
>watching CNN
>believing CNN

Idiot confirmed. There is not going to be a quarantine. It is logistically impossible to quarantine the US.

>>13785284
how does that boot taste?

>>13793296
cool, you sound really smart

>>13793296
people are just quarantining themselves. Anyone who can work from home is working from home.

>>13793409
Good. Less traffic on the roads means I can go out more.

>>13793112
You shouldn’t have anything dribbling out after standing up. I’d check that with your doctor, Anonymous.

>>13785261
Thank FUCK I got out of grocery wagecucking a few years ago
But then again, now I'm a package handler at FedEx which is also gonna get fucked from people ordering shit online from their quarantine lairs, and eventually everybody there is gonna catch the virus because it's a filthy cramped work environment.

>>13793151
What’s empathy got to do with it? She was being an objectively hysterical bitch who did precisely what she stood there screaming abuse at me for. So yeah. Fuck her. Hope she gets it and her last memory is lying in her own shit on the bathroom floor because zomg people like me took her toilet paper!

>>13793112
Being a woman sounds like such fucking a hassle.

>>13793302
what boot

>>13788878

It's almost spring, I bet Walmart has already put out the canning supplies that everybody has walked past to get ammo, shit tickets, and flaming hot cheetos.

>>13793112
>tfw there's an anon(female) with an innie vagina who's never seen another woman piss on the same board as me
So long, virgins

>>13793470
This can’t be real

>>13785261
Bahaha
Wholefoods just gave everyone a $2/hr raise for the next 2 months

>>13793296
Public record:
>Fauci states open to a 14 day national shutdown
>trumpity states not considering a national quarantine, just yet
>just yet
Hmmm, looks like you've been btfo. No worries, many such cases with your ilk.

>>13788843
That's why bleach is sold out too.

>>13785261
Thats illegal bro

>>13789346
What is wrong is to do 3 continuos 12 hrs. Even doing 24 hrs is wrong

>>13791823
Cute mouse

>see the grocery bullshit online
>don’t want to get involved in large crowds during a quarantine...
>try to use Amazon Fresh
>unable to schedule a delivery
>try to use Kroger pickup
>says not available
>use Kroger delivery
>earliest possible is Thu. 3/19

Should I just eat McDonalds this week? I don’t really know what to do. It’s not healthy but I feel it’s justified with all this bullshit. Like this is too much hassle to buy eggs and hummus.

>>13793449
I have definitely gone to a gyno more than once, anon. I don't know what to tell you. My vag lips are huge so they hold in liquid really well.

>>13793470
It is actually.

>>13793600
No, it's a huge hassle in general to be female.

>>13793589
You can tell there are virgins here by the amount of people who don't understand how women pee or why they would need to use a lot of toilet paper.

>>13793928
>this week
lmao, you're fucked, retard.

>>13793952
based huge pussy anon

>>13793928
Bro you should go out and stock up on a few weeks of food at least, sure you're gonna get the scraps if there's anything left but something is better than nothing.

>>13793975
Literally trying to do that. My entire post is about how I am trying to avoid the highest concentrations of people, and am unable. I will eat fast food for a few days rather than stand around hundreds of people in a line for a few hours. That is the complete opposite of what we should be doing right now.

>>13793973
>vulva
I guess I should specify, it's just the lips that are really large, hence being an inney.

>>13794061
Do you have any convenience stores near by?
I live in a fairly large city where the grocery stores are being over run with idiots but I noticed no one is going to convenience stores.
You can get a good amount of instant noodles and canned food at most of them.

>>13790691
transparent b8, but I chuckled

>>13794124
puffy vag anon here
I don't even use a roll a day unless I have diarrhea

>>13794130
youre fat arent you