/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Someone once posted here about someone they knew using eggshells to bake a cake because it called for 'whole eggs'

There are people on /ck/ RIGHT NOW who think you can't grill a cheese in your toaster

Common but
>pickles are cucumbers? No way dude!

>>13750472
Do Americans really cook with these? Here in Europe they're sold as birdfood.

>>13750505
Those are small spices, the size of a peppercorn each. They are not whatever you're thinking of.

>>13750496
>friend tries making pickles, complains about them tasting different
>try one
>it's a pickled zucchini

>>13750472
>24
>man

>>13750496
>>13750628
In most places, "pickle" doesn't even implicitly refer to pickled cucumbers or gherkins. Also, pickled cucumbers are a typically made with a special cultivar that doesn't entirely resemble your typical long English cucumber.

>>13750505
it's nice living rent free

>>13750472
That's hardly a "baffling" misunderstanding.
After all, there's such a thing as "Five Spice", which is a mixture of five different spices.
Most non-chefs aren't autistic enough to care.

>>13750472
I also believed it was a spice mix for a long time, until one day I decided to try making the mix fresh and checked the ingredients list.

>>13750720
not really the same, five spices being combined makes sense
but combining literally every spice you have in your kitchen? that doesn't make sense

>>13750472
I was making ravioli at a friend’s house, I asked her for some olive oil...she cans back a few minutes later saying, “I don’t have that, is canola oil okay?” Almost caught an assault charge that day

>>13752279
With the right proportions you could probably make a curry with it.

>>13750472
>find out bolognese isnt bolognese
>tell friend
>he refuses to believe me and keeps calling mince with tinned tomatoes bolognese

>>13750688
I get pickling cukes from farmers market

>>13750676
>makes 6 figures
to any woman, that’s a man.

>>13752326
this is like learning that brits call "French fries" "chips," telling your friend, and then wondering why he wont call them "chips."
The same sound can mean different things in different places.

>>13752287
What the fuck is wrong with that? You needed oil, she offered an alternative. You're a faggot.

>>13750472
>“Soy milk contains more estrogen than regular dairy milk”
What kind of retard thinks that bean water contains more estrogen than literal boob juice?

>>13753876
>bean water
Educate yourself.

>>13753969
it literally does, plus soy has phytoestrogens which is completely different.

>>13753852

>>13752287
I would like you to know that you are a retard

>>13753310
Obligatory.

>>13750505
allspice is from mexico
it's used mainly in mexican cuisine

My next door neighbour thought almond milk was almond-flavoured milk. She also thought that bacon is beef. Not beef bacon, no. I mean bacon bacon. As in normal bacon. As in oink oink bacon. She thought it was beef.
Finally, and perhaps the most baffling, she thought that if you leave eggs out and don't eat them quickly enough, they'll hatch and we should all refrigerate eggs in order to prevent that because who wants a house full of chickens?

>>13754172
Thought it was from Jamaica, considering how prominently it's used there. Jerk? Allspice. Jamaican-style curry? Allspice. Normal-ass barbecue? They do it over allspice wood. Sop to brush sauce onto barbecue as it's cooking? Allspice leaves.

>>13750720
You just outed yourself as a retard who didn't know what allspice is. Having basic knowledge of spices does not an autist make.

>>13752287
Sorry mate you are just retarded. She was right on that one.

>>13754380
>who wants a house full of chickens?

>>13752287
Sorry Chief you should have took it. Purist dipshits like you ruin many social events.

>>13754430
>irishstewguy.png

>>13752287
You are still a virgin, we can tell this how?

>>13750472
My girlfriend used to think Tang was made from real oranges. That's all I got.

>>13750472
>Old roommate
>A bit of a tard
>Really, really bad with the ideas behind weight loss tricks, esp. keto and intermittent fasting.
>Didn't know that Cajun spice and curry powder could be made from the whole cupboard of spices I had in the place.
>Would pay me to make chicken, (semi)keto curries, and egg dishes for him.

I honestly felt bad that he never learned how to make an omelette after living with me for two years. I actually left him a small binder full of how-to's and recipes, but I bet he slopped wing sauce on it and burned it to light a joint.

>>13750472
that you have to tip

>>13754436
Now that takes me back

>>13753310
in france they don't even call them french fries

they call them francois fries

I find it baffling that people don't realize "x sauce" like yum yum or creamy chipotle sauce type things are just seasoned mayonnaise and that mayo is just oil and egg but mostly oil. Mayo is great, but you should really be aware that eating massive amounts of it is like pouring straight oil on your food if managing your weight is important to you.
>>13750472
It's reasonable for someone who doesn't cook much to think allspice is some sort of spice blend.

>>13750472
Pro-tip: rich people are just the children of richer people

>>13754636
>>13754436

>>13754638
They're called frites, you swine.

>>13750472
>24
>grown ass man
Zoomers and millennials are the most childish generations I know. Most don't mature until they're in their 30's.
>t. millennial

>>13754786
Am I the only one that thinks the autistic irish stew guy was in the right here?

>>13754633
What's NTA? Niggers tongue anus?

>>13753310
Americans put an "american spin" on recipes, sometimes even completely changing up all the ingredients, then call it the same thing as the original recipe they are trying to imitate. This spreads misconceptions about a whole host of dishes. Because of this fuckery I only found out bolognese is made with tomato concentrate, carrots and celery at 23.

>>13755004
Hell yeah Americans are great. I love them too

24 isn’t grown

>>13754959
You can be correct and still not be right in the way you go about expressing it. He was pretty damn tactless from the sounds of it.

>>13752326

What the fuck are you even trying to say? That he uses tinned tomatoes instead of just a basic tomato sauce, so ergo it's not bolognese? Or did he not follow some specific autistic step?

>>13755004
its less that Americans put a spin on them as it is immigrants came to America from these places before these words had as specific meanings as they do today

>>13755004

Americans calling ragu bolognese, whoch is a variation of ragu, isn't a big deal. Italians are incresibly autistic about their food to the point two neighbours won't agree on what makes an authentic sauce. Try not to be as autistic as the italians.

>>13750472
I had never heard of it until I was 24 and went to Jamaica.

>>13754389
Never said I didn't know since I do.
But I'm not so pathetic and desperate for a fleeting sense of superiority that I'd berate someone who didn't know.
Shit, I've known actual chefs who thought capers were pickled peas.

>>13755106
I know but I use bolognese as an example because ragu and bolognese while both meat sauces, are prepared and look vastly different in end result.

>>13755098
You dont put tinned or tomato sauce in fucking bolognese, why are people like this? Why are they so resistant to calling ragu, ragu? A fresh tomato never touched a proper bolognese sauce, it is tomato concentrate only.

>>13750472
I always thought that lasagne was supposed to have cheese in it.

>>13756220
arguing about tomato v CONCENTRATED tomato is why you don't enjoy pixar movies

>>13756220
Bologna disagrees with you.

>>13756252
Its not an argument, Its literally a fact of these sauces and it produces different flavour and textured sauces. Its literally the stupidest thing to argue AGAINST Ive ever seen. I don't understand the resistance to being corrected about a meat sauce.

>>13756256
That isnt how you spell america.

>>13752279
>what is garam masala

my girlfriend had one of her gym buddies over to share recipes (gf is a pro meal prepper who makes her week in advance)
as they were cooking up some brussels sprouts i called over something like 'gotta brussel those sprouts'
her friend was surprised, was like 'oh so that's why they're called brussels sprouts'

>>13754112
Ceiling-bright is easily the best one.

>>13750494
it's not called a cheese toast up if you're not using your grill it's not grilled cheese

>>13753203
>classifying anything (literally anything) based on a woman's judgement

>>13750472
>Grown-ass, 24 year old man
cringe
thread hidden

>>13750472
>called all spice
>only good on fries and egg sandwiches
wtf?

>>13754633
this just triggered me. I'm literally shaking. if she wants to tip then they should go dutch. selfish bitch

If I ever have to witness someone sticking a thermometer into a steak again, I swear to the Lord above I will commit murder

>>13753852
The lava one gets me every time

>>13750472
>Genuinely thought allspice was just a mashup of every spice you had access to in your kitchen

Well, then they should have come up with a better name for the spice!

>>13754380
>if you leave eggs out and don't eat them quickly enough, they'll hatch
American education, everybody.

>>13755193
kek this fucking brainlet thinks allspice is a spice mix and capers are pickled peas
how many other things have 'other people' misunderstood so hilariously? tell us your tail you absolute buffoon

>>13756259
>resistance to being corrected
you nailed it right there anon, this is one of the biggest enemies to quality work
when a dumb person learns a little bit about something, they instantly forget how they need outside input to improve and get like this

>>13750505
>here in europe
Shut the fuck up with that shit. Europe is not a country. One third of global allspice trade ends up in Scandinavia. It’s as common as black pepper here.

>>13754172
>mexico
rent free

>>13755193
you're berating someone on the internet for a lack of knowledge about the fact that it's pathetic and desperate to berate someone on the internet for a lack of knowledge about what allspice is

>Have family gathering
>Want to make shells and cheese
>Send retarded father-in-law to store to buy shells for mac
>Figure no need to specify size, because who the fuck hasn't had shells and cheese
>Comes back with giant shells for baked stuffed shells
>Doesn't understand what he did wrong
Fucking retard had to have a thought that the large ones were awfully fucking big for Mac and cheese. Could have even looked at a goddamn box of literal shells and cheese in the aisle for reference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oREbt_qfmXo

Based big dimes Dan baiting the jabronies

>>13756881
>tell us your tail, you buffoon
lol

>>13757260
10/10 tail

>>13750628
>pickled zucchini
I drink lots of vodka. That cleans out my system, and even cleans my teeth (I haven’t brushed in years, and haven’t had a cavity since).

I also eat a liverwurst sandwich pretty much every day – to counterbalance the effects the vodka has on my liver. I make my sandwiches on seeded rye (because it’s the healthiest bread), with mayo (because eggs are the best protein; I use kewpie, because the msg makes it taste better), coarse mustard (good for the white blood cells), zucchini pickles (because they taste good), and a bunch of baby spinach (just for filler; it could honestly be left out).

I also eat a lot of canned fish (mostly sardines, but also the occasional fancy smoked oysters) on saltines. They give you all your essential amino acids, and provide a nice opportunity to try out various hot sauces, which are generally very low in calories, while high in flavor and immensely prodigious to healthiness.

Aside from that, I drink large amounts of water (anywhere between ice-cold to slightly chilled) every day, always through a straw, and sometimes with a lemon wedge.

To each their own, I say, but I’m just shy of 30 and am doing better than most of you.

>>13756922
That's interesting if true. I usually think of all spice in Caribbean cooking.

>>13757275
It is indeed. "Christmas meatballs" are a Swedish dish with allspice. There are also numerous sweets, biscuits, cakes, etc which list it among their ingredients.

>>13750505
Living in Europe allspice is common fuck off

>>13753876
the difference is people aren't drinking milk as a fucking meal replacement for every single meal
"soyboy" is in direct reference to people who partake in consuming soylent meal replacement drinks

>>13757306
Dane here, and I fully agree. I don't know if we really use up a third of the world's supply, but Scandinavians definitely love their allspice. And yes, especially for Christmas stuff.
I've been throwing three or four in the mortar when making stews. Not enough enough to get a strong allspice taste, but it gives a hearty meat dish a certain lift I think.

>>13757328
>he's not on pure GOMAD

>>13756259
>>13756893
My fucking gf is like this all the fucking time and it drives me up the fucking wall
How are you supposed to get better or learn anything if you get defensive and offended every time someone tries to teach you? It only gets worse because when she acts like a sperg about shit it makes me get tense and frustrated.

>>13750472
The dumbest people I've ever met have been in college. Half of them are afraid to boil water on a stove

>>13750483
I remember this. I think it would be my winner, too.

>>13753852
Solid collection of idiocy, well done.

>>13754633
t. under-the-radar sociopath

>>13754959
I certainly hope so.