/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13753706
No. I imagine I'm a street urchin from Oliver Twist when I have oatmeal though.

>>13753706
have you seen anyone in a kung fu movie eat what we eat in chinese restaurants?

>>13753706
nah, I like to pretend the my chinese food is made up of the dead right after the rape of Nanjing

>>13753712
Usually seems they eat rice, chickens, and noodles

>>13753712
Rice with vegetables? Yes. That's the staple dish of China.
Meat with sweet, spicy or salty sauces? sometimes yes as well. Usually for special occasions, or if you're a rich merchant. Maybe not the sweet sauces, but spicy or salty sure.

American chinese is just rural chinese slop if they had more money and access to sugar.

YES

whenever I eat rice I feel that fake martial arts shit coming over me. retarded monks forcing me to do gay stuff because chi.

china has never won a single war against anyone except chinese.

maybe start eating burgers and thinking about the navy bro

>>13753706
No, but I like to pretend that I am a medieval king when i am digging straight into a whole roast chicken.

>>13753720
Please tell me you are a nip.

>>13753755
>maybe start eating burgers and thinking about the navy bro

When I eat burgers I pretend I'm a greaser teen in the 50's

>>13753763
you seem like an epic loser bro.

>>13753761
nope, Im as Jamaican as they come

>>13753763
that sounds gay as fuck.... also, is that girl wearing a hijab?

>>13753763
ah, those were the days, when 99% of the country was white and all was well with the world

>>13753755
>china has never won a single war against anyone except chinese.

And yet we're a larger global empire that owns more global natural resources than any of the European colonial powers in history.

Modern wars are economic, political, and technological. And even americans democrats realize the class equality & economic power of a Communist system.

>>13753814
and its all collapsing under the power of a microscopic bug

>>13753819
the Chinese government has everything under control

>>13753814
nope

wall street owns you 100%

you are now the global arm of european power. enjoy

>>13753706
Every time. My wife and I pretend to argue in Chinese, I give my kids an extra fortune cookie if they spring from the table and have a kung-fu fight in the restaurant. It helps enhance the aroma and flavor.

Every time I am in an Italian restaurant I pretend to be all paranoid like someone is going to take me out.

>>13753881
maybe they are actually waiting to take you out in public?

>>13753706
No, but I larp as Caine eating root vegetables as he walks along the trail eating them in "Kung Fu."

>>13753814
>owns more global natural resources than any of the European colonial powers in history.
and yet yall still eat dogs and cats and bats like savages...

hmmm...

Every time eating ramen at an authentic Japanese ramen restaurant with those stools and the cooks cooking in front of people and giving you your order personally, I feel like I'm actually JAPANESE

>>13753706
KUNG PO CHICKEN ON THE ATTACK!

>>13754367
The chinks have been doing that in Chinatown/Manhattan for ages, the sneak attack japs are only just now catching up.

>>13754367
It'll be a cold day in hell before I make exuses for sneak attack japs.

>>13754439
>>13754444
>sneak attack
>whenever anyone launches a military attack they always publish their plans beforehand
C'mon, even 4chan kids aren't that stupid.

>>13754367
You don't cook soup

I pretend to be Goku eating bowl after bowl of food while onlookers stand mouth agape wondering and commenting on where the food goes.

>>13753706
No, that kind of shit is more like black gang banger movies
>>13753737
It's only ever plain mystery noodles in kung fu movies, those are the rules. Unless it is a sweet and quiet kung fu girl selling steamed buns from a cart to support her sick mother but only one bite is ever taken
>>13753749
Shut up moron quit pretending to sound like an expert
>>13753755
>monks forcing me to do gay shit
Sounds kinda hot, do you have a link?
>>13754439
>>13754444
>>13754367

This is the most american thing I have ever seen in my life

>>13753706
That’s the shit they make for round eyes. They don’t make it back home.

For me, I like to pretend I'm living in a futuristic cyberpunk dystopia.

I pretend I'm Woody Allen and I'm fucking my future wife, who also happens to be my retarded step daughter.

>>13754367
Japanese ramen places suck, though. They really, REALLY want you out as soon as possible because seating space is a commodity in their little shops. Forget about relaxation because you're just there to chow down ramen and get out as quickly as possible.

>>13753706
Gomenasai, my name is Ken-Sama.

I'm a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, Persona series)

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in Japan!

>>13754327
you know of classes right

>>13753814
>China
>class equality

How can I tell you are a freshman in global studies at an American community college?

>>13758686
because they're just meant to be quick meals. ironically you want to avoid going to places like ramen-ya or such if you want to take your time.

>>13759050
I hope he's happy in japan now.