/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13736819
Ketchup or mold. I honestly can't decide which was worse.

>>13736819
Fucking old ass lettuce, seriously if that shit is watery as fuck, why are you thinking I'd want it on anything? I barely enjoy crisp lettuce.

>>13736819
A single Mexican public hair.

>>13737021
At least it wasn't a private hair.

A flesh colored rubber cock ring

>>13737025
Fuck you nigga. Autocorrect got me fucked up

>>13736994
Based

Buncha rat shit at the bottom of my chowder. Only time I walked out of a restaurant. Maybe a bitch move but I was kinda pissed

>>13737094
Wait, is that all you did?

>>13736819
Onions

>>13736819
I found a maggot in its crysalis baked inside a pistacho nut.

I also found a slug/worm thing that had buried its way into my baked potato.

>>13736819
i once put sour cream in a bowl of cereal and gave it to my friend, who took and bite and then puked
then one time i put horse radish in his cereal, but he could smell it before he took a bite
the grossest for me was mayo on my mcchiken
also one time a cockroach crawled out of my wendy's bag when i got home

I was eating a dannon yogurt once when I was a little kid and there was a huge lump in there that could not be chewed.

Farts
Caking
Poisons
Some cranberries

>>13736819
There was a little capatillar on my boxed spinach once

>>13736819
not me but when we were kids my sister found a grub type thing in an orange, popped right out and wiggled at her while she was peeling it.
the neighbours came banging on out door asking if we were ok after she was done screaming, we live in a detached house.
I couldn't stop laughing but now I have to check every orange for holes before peeling

>>13736819
I once found a receipt in my omelette. No joke.

>>13737659
Reminder if insect bros want to enjoy your yummy food you know its healthy and organic. I grow my own food and little critters on and in your food is part and parcel.

>>13736819
Onions
Olives
Tomatoes
Celery
Mushrooms

>>13737709
get off this board

carrots, spinach, and asparagus

>>13737709
>vegetables, ew

>>13737094
thats all you did?

>>13737094
fake and gay

>>13737659
>>13737705
I found a pic

>>13736819
Unwashed glass had a loogie at the bottom and I sucked it into my mouth, I was 5 and ever since I drink very very carefully

Giant bedbugs in the bottom of my martini I walked out so fast

I once found a leaf in my soup! I told the waiter and he told the chef who came out to apologize. I had to politely and sincerely ask how he missed an entire leaf in his soup. He told me it was a bay leaf and he forgot to remove it. Ew! So he intentionally put a leaf from the bay in my fucking soup? Got my money back amnd never went back again. Thinking of calling ICE on them (mexican restaurant) because you just know some illegal did this to me!

>>13738004
Based fuck scabies

I went to get Chinese food for the second and last time in tucson and my food came with like 10 weevils in it. I dont get it the more west I go the worse eating out gets.
Also always double check how old candy bars in a convenience store are. I saw a clerk eat one that was at least 50 percent maggots once.

>>13736819
A live maggot.

>>13736819
My step fathers long gray hair.

>>13736819
my penis

my great grandmothers public stray

>>13737624
>once put sour cream in a bowl of cereal and gave it to my friend, who took and bite and then puked
That doesn’t sound so bad if it wasn’t a sugary cereal

>>13737705
This is also how you know nobody should be eating squash

>>13736819
mold or a hair is the worst thing. Like eating a sandwich, then getting near the end before realizing the bread is moldy.

>>13736819
I once got a chocolate milk from the convenience store. Was in date, and wasn't really paying attention to any smell. Took a swig and it was the most jarring thing, the shit was so bad it had its own form of carbonation. So carbonated rancid chocolate milk. That was fun...

>>13736819
found several dried weevils in an all-bran bar, never buying that shit again

>>13736819
1 cm cockroach

>>13736819
A small man no bigger than a thimble

>>13738310
Like a baby roach?

Cheese

Ideology.

>>13737703
Was it at least a receipt for an omelette?

>100% U.S. raised Iowa pork

>>13736819
Bought a bag of cashews from Trader Joe's. Forgot about them, so they sat way back in the cabinet for close to three years. Found them and they were crawling with pantry moth larva. Almost barfed.

>>13738485
What's the problem? We raise the best hogs.

>>13738253
Can you explain please?

>>13738506
That's like Wisconsin saying "we make the best cheese"

>>13738548
Also accurate, depending on the kind of cheese.

>>13736819
ants in my cereal when I was 7, baby roaches in various meals at 16.

>>13738558
Plastic '''''cheese''''' from w*sconsin isn't food and neither is i*wa '''''''pork'''''''

>>13736819
capers, but raisins are a close second

>>13738592
Did you just have a stroke anon?

>>13738592
>when your meat starts coomin

>>13736819
slug on lettuce salad

>>13738592
Plastic cheese is made in Illinois, my uninformed friend. Wisconsin produces finely aged cheddar. And I still have no idea what issues you have with Iowa Pork, but I would guess that you got something from China and were mixed up on the point of origin again.

>>13737030
>phoneposters

I had a customer find some sort of nail clipping in their gelato once. The guy who made it was clean and they didn't even want a refund. It was an odd situation.

>>13736819
a toothpick inside a fried pie once

celery in my chicken wing box

employee with hepres at my local mcdonalds gave customers herpes . rumour has it he spunked in the mcchicken mayo.
It caused quite the stir. Was in the local newspapers and everything

>>13738506
“No”
You make gross pork feeding them corn and raising them in disgusting conditions. Flyovers make trash, if they made good stuff they wouldn’t be poor flyovers suckling at the teats of coastal America to keep them from becoming more 3rd world

a squished caterpillar in a bag of Fresh Express bagged salad

>>13738982
throw it on the floor and make a scene

>>13738982

celery in my bloody caesar..

I won't tell you what restaurant I worked for, but in Ojai, CA, I came in over 100 Big Macs.

I find one of these fuckers almost every time I buy pistachios

>>13739489
Azu's?

>>13737597
Same thing happened with a pistachio. Its scary because before that I just ate them without looking, so who knows if I consumed one. Pistachios are fucking risky but worth it.

Besides that, hairs. Its such a disgusting feeling to slowly pull a long greasy hair out of your food.

>>13739205
what this guy said

>>13739767
>>13739943
I keep hearing this happens and I've never encountered this and I eat pistachios pretty frequently. Where the fuck do you guys get yours that this keeps happening?

>Its such a disgusting feeling to slowly pull a long greasy hair out of your food.
It's one of the only things that actually make me gag. Imagine trying to pull out a long, wirey hair in the back of your throat.

I don't think I've ever eaten a pistachio, just because they were green and looked moldy to me. This thread vindicated me, thank you /ck/

>>13741020
I noticed that brown and/or bug-infested pistachios were most common with the Wonderful brand.
>>13741095
Ironically the green pistachios are good and the brown ones are the rotten ones.

>>13741103
weird, I often get the wonderful brand. I've been pretty acutely aware of it recently too. Maybe I just haven't noticed. I definitely have bitten into a couple kind of gross tasting ones but they weren't bugs, just an odd spoiled one.

>>13736819
Not in, but on my food. I was drinking a rockstar, and the top of the can smelled like piss/ammonia. It was awful.

>>13741178
>drinking straight from the can

A family member made some homemade fudge for thanksgiving. It was fucking delicious. But about halfway through it I bit down and something stabbed my gums. It was a fucking finger-nail.

I still ate the rest of the fudge.

>>13736819
toenail in my pork bun.

>>13737705
This

>>13736819
was eating raw oatmeal out of a paper cup for breakfast because wageslave.
looked inside and saw a fuckload of tiny insects moving in it. dumped it out and didn't touch oatmeal for a while. I had bad sleep deprivation at the time so its possible I just imagined it though.

>>13739767
>>13741103
fuck pistachios. Never buying the shelless ones after biting into some of the nasty ones.
>>13739943
>so who knows if I consumed one.
believe me, you'll know it when it happens

>>13738982
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>13739194
https://youtu.be/zPpmd-GS8r8

>>13738970
>fried pie

please explain

coolest, found in a bag of spring mix

>>13738515
>>13738515
sure. i like to insert squash into my anus, which is the polar opposite of a mouth

>>13739205
>>13740769
Rootless liberal cosmopolitan roaches.

>>13736819
inside a meatball, now im forever paranoid of eating a meatball whole because of it

>>13736819
Got served a seabass with one of these parasites in the mouth
We got the meal for free and I changed to steak with mac&cheese

>>13736819
One time I ate a moodly grape by accident

>>13738163
How do you suppose maggots get into a sealed candy bar wrapper? Not only that but I've never heard of maggots going for chocolate even if you leave it sitting out, you sound like you're just being neurotic

Food doesn't magically spawn maggots just because it's a month past the arbitrary expiration date

>>13737997
>>13738004
what the fuck is this

>>13742050
It must have had a broken seal. And it wasnt a month out of date it was closer to a year and a half. Fucker picked it off the floor when moving the shelves around. They just pick up shit off the floor that's been there for God knows how long and either eat it or put it back on the shelves.

>>13742047
This one takes the cake
>>13742049
Moodly grape :-)

>>13736819
an olive

>>13742229
With, or without the pit.

>>13736819
A needle I have found in store-bought frozen tuna. That wasn't all that gross, but still hella dangerous. Also, you know, proof that they injected the meat to make it seem like there's more of it.
Also, wormy apples.
Also, home-grown raspberry with those little fucking bugs that come with it. EW.

>>13742229
*shrug* when I tried olives for the first time, I expected much worse. They taste watery.

>>13742002
inbred ignorant rural animal

>>13736819
I found a bug in mashed potatoes from swiss chalet.

>>13738393
Kek

>>13736819
the results of my cooking

>>13739205
>>13740769
Where the fuck do you two retards think you get your meat and produce?

>>13736819
A big-ass cockroach in a icecream scoop.

>>13736819
I found a foreskin in my corned beef sandwich at katz's deli in new york.

>>13742989
Happy cows make happy cheese, and happy cows come from California, faggot.

>>13737030
Leave

>>13736994
This. Hate retards putting ketchup in foods, like pasta and shit.

>>13742989
Most of my meat and produce comes from the Hudson Valley with a little bit from Long Island and the Delaware Valley

I don't eat fl*over shitfood monocrops because I'm not a noseless, eyeless CAFO animal trapped inside an unlighted unventilated box and fed nothing but GMO soybeans and antibiotics

Why do inbreds from the flyover states assume anyone who isn't in a prison or the military would eat their garbage?

garlic

>>13743818
BIG DUCK! BIG DUCK! we used to shout as we passed, to and back from Ponquoge Beach. I never entered, but I remember well the gaze of its beady red eyes from out above the pine forest on a hot night.

>>13737624
judging by the rest of your post i feel it's safe to assume the roach was from your house.

>>13742240
it's from the dye. farm tuna and salmon are dyed.

found some weird bone looking thing in my quaker oatmeal squares cereal once, still have no idea what it was

>>13743968
big oat

>>13744078
it was definitely from a skellington

>>13744103
rat or rodent skull? could be any animal bone at all really in grain crops since they're stored in massive bulk and not really looked after

>>13744114
i think it was a quaker skellington

>>13736819
A whole bone fragment in a school cafeteria chicken patty

Thanks Michele Obama

>>13738592
Wait a fucking minute? Is that a fucking cyst?

>>13745526
Based communism

i did find a used bandaid in my danish. got a free danish. i even bit into it. i have an iron stomach. sure i was bothered but not retching bothered, and i was extremely polite, not angry at all.

>>13736819
Got about three quarters of the way through a bottled black coffee when thought I saw something floating in the bottle. Held it up to a light and saw what appeared to be either a wad of mould or some kind of fuzzy animal shit.

Also when I was a toddler I would pick up people's cans when they left them out and take a drink when no one was looking. I once picked up a Coke can and got a mouthful of my dad's chew spit. I spat it out on the coffee table and my dad came around the corner and saw his retard son frozen in place with brown chew drippings running down my face. He just laughed at me and asked me how the soda tastes and I never stole anyone's soda ever again. Lesson learned I suppose

>>13736819
the reflection of myself in my soup

Many years ago at burger king sucked a piece of frozen meat up through the straw of my milkshake. I was young and mortified. I drank the rest though.

eggplant

>>13743960
Farm raised salmon has color added to their feed, not injected. Still artificial tho

>>13737030
kill yourself

>>13743960
>farmed tuna
You are rarted

>>13741532
At least you know where that the toenail came from.

>>13741834
Could be McDicks, but I haven't had one of their pies in over a decade.

>>13741975
Moths > Butterflies

>>13738485
>no i'm thank good you

>>13736819
Larvae of moths in rice. Thought the rice was fine until i noticed them when they were cooked.

Chugged cooking oil once because I thought it was tea.

>>13742050
They get into everything eventually, the fucks must operate on a molecular level because I'm certain that even if I lock up a banana peel in a vault they would still make a colony there after a week.

>>13736819

A blister band-aid in cheese wonton from a local buffet. Never ate there again, swore off of Chinese food in general for a long time after.

>>13743818
>I'm not a noseless, eyeless CAFO animal trapped inside an unlighted unventilated box and fed nothing but GMO soybeans and antibiotics

No, but you are American which makes your opinions on food invalid

>>13736819
When I was a child I bit into a guava that was 50% maggots. It took me years before I was comfortable with guavas again.

>>13736819

Years back in elementary school, I was drinking my milk when I almost swallowed something hard and pointy and when I spit it out, I discovered it was a small chunk of wood.

Ate a bowl of queso with some tortilla chips, didn't clean up until after eating, went to go put the queso back in the fridge, saw bluish green puffy mold hidden all around under the sloped sides of the queso jar. Gagged hard at the thought, rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth right after. In retrospect, it didn't taste suspect, it tasted normal.

Been fortunate enough where I never found anything crazy, atleast from what I remember. Maybe the occasional hair, a couple being my own since I cooked

>>13737753
raw onions are fucking disgusting and you are an idiot if you disagree

>>13736819
A slug inside of a loaf of bread, cooked and still slimey

>>13737025

>>13738727
based educated flyover

>>13737703
this is actually good material

>>13739767
>almost every time
and yet you keep going back. brave

>>13739489
jack-in-a-box?

I once took a bite from an ants infested chocolatine.

>>13750202
shut the fuck up you fucking gay ass nigger

>>13736819
Little short black hairs in my McDonalds Mc Sauce. Returned it and got my money back.

>>13736819
Melanin residue

>>13751385
Pubes?

I was drinking a monster and a big hairy fly that SOMEHOW got trapped inside the can entered my mouth

Fucking disgusting

raw tomato.

>>13736819
An inch-long wood chip in a chocolate bar

Band aid in my chowder
Dime sized snail in my frozen peas
A small bone in a container of Rotel Salsa
>>13751385
What looked like a pube, in my Russian dressing. This actually bothered me for days.

>>13749253
Did you find a slug or half a slug anon

>>13739767
hold on what the FUCK is that

>Thanksgiving
>mother or aunt or whoever fixes my plate
>puts yams on my plate
>I ate everything but left the yams

No one eats that nasty shit. For some reason yams make me gag when I put some in my mouth and try to chew it. That, and pumpkin pie. Of all the god damn vegetables take make into a pie or include in a feast, WHY did they have to choose sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie its beyond me.

>>13737030
simmer down tyrone

>>13754065
That's why I only drink diet coke. Even the pests wont touch it.

>>13736819
my own shit.


because i shit in it. what'd you expect, retard. why are you still reading? fuck you. story over. /post /blog /thread /board /website /life

>>13754596
yams blow, but pumpkin pie is king
one of the only actually good desserts in the world

>>13736819
i remember hearing a story that my oldest brother, 15 at the time, opened a family sized bag of tostitos or doritos, i dont remember, ate a couple of them, and then told my two other siblings, 9 and 10, to finish it before they went stale

my oldest brother was always an asshole prankster, and this time, he had taken an adult cockroach, cut it in half, put it in the bag, and shook it up so that it wasn't gonna be found until they had eaten most of the chips. which is exactly what had happened. they happened upon a roach half after they'd eaten a good portion of the bag.

i wasn't around for this story (4 yrs old), so I don't remember all of the details. I fell victim to a lot of pranks growing up, but thankfully not this one.

>>13743664
>he doesn't put ketchup in his mac n cheese
NGMI

>>13741975
He's a big guy

Shield/stinkbug in a frozen steambag of peas and broccoli, yeah i chewed on it and yeah it tasted how it smells.
Half digested fish in squid, a worm in a lemon sole and peacrabs in mussels also shit me up when i first came across them

Got served iced tea and was super thirsty so I took a big drink and felt some chunks in it. It had a shitload of mold floating in it. We just got our money back and left. Didnt get sick though.

>>13736819
Dead ants

Wolf spider in a coffee that I got from a mechanic shop. Fucker must have been hiding in the lid because the first thing I felt was a fucking leg go in my mouth when I took a sip. I like spiders so I popped off the lid and put him outside

>>13736819
A fucking Weaver in my Calzone. Sorry, cant post a picture because autistic Arachnophobie.

>>13754174
Well, I guess you could call it two halfs. I you know what I mean

>>13736819
I found a band-aid in my General Tso's Chicken once.

My college tried to ignore me for months about it. They finally ended up paying for more of my meals.

>>13736819
I once went to mcdonalds and found a fly that had been embedded into the bun of my burger somehow. I just shrugged it off and threw it away, I should have went back and gotten free shit

Once I found a necro in my bump

>>13737653
Cake farts

>>13738346
Winner

>Treat myself to a nice large can of sardines in tomato sauce
>halfway through rice and deens dish and notice that the little squigglies actually aren't a part of the fish
>actually they kind of look like worms don't they
>check the rest of the can and it's got hundreds of anisakis curled up throughout the sauce and fish
>nervous sweats but I'm also starving and this was my celebratory fancy can after college exams
>they all seem dead, so I pulled out the fish and picked off the curly fuckers
>finished the rest of the fish through the week but had to pick out like five or ten more every time I made a dish with them

That was about a year ago and I haven't had any stomach issues so I guess I didn't get worms but now that I think about it I probably should not have eaten the rest of the can. I don't buy large sardines anymore.

>>13737996
finding munchers in my munchies just makes me feel territorial. its MY food that I paid for to not have these freeloading fuckers burning up my future calories

>>13759969
just eat them. its the ultimate punishment

Plastic shard in my Teebz nachos

A few years back I visited my little sister on Halloween after she went trick or treating. She offered me some candy and I picked a mini Twix or Milky Way. Took one bite and immediately spat it out. There wasn't a hair in there, but a whole fucking wad of it. It probably accounted for a quarter of the fucking thing. I don't really eat candy bars so it didn't bother me too much, but boy was it nasty at the time. Like someone cleaned up the shower drain once they were done washing their hair and then threw it in a Milky Way.

Reading this thread had made me nervous about eating basically anything though lol

>>13736819
>What’s the grossest thing you’ve found in your food, /ck/ ?
Political ideology

>>13736819
Moms hair in the tortellini

>>13738033

>>13736819
A small bird's leg on a bag of chips, was half-way through the bag when I found it.

>>13736819
an unidentified burnt insect

>>13738270
>carbonated milk
Some day, that stuff will be some kinda delicacy by food snobs.

>>13736819
mayonnaise

With friend at Chinese buffet. He ate a mussel and spit out a crab that was apparently living inside

>>13756075
UU
UU

Used to live in a shitty £60 a week flat during my uni years.
Left a coffee on the counter for 20 minutes, returned to it and necked the whole thing, but felt something sludgy as i was drinking it.
We used to have a lot of slugs in that house, that would get onto the counters, but we also had a housemate who was shit at washing up and i also didn't get along with them.
I never worked out what that was and it still makes me gip to this day.

My own fingers after not washing my hands

>>13736819
Unironically a dark armhair in a kebab.

celery

>>13736819
I ate a meal with a side salad that had a clipped finger nail in it. I got up and left.

>>13764443
Complaining about an authentic experience, tsk tsk... Not enough preservatives and factory labor for you?

>>13736819
love, passion and soul

>>13736819
>3rd grade
>school cafeteria
>taco day
>something weird in my mouth
>pull out pic related

>>13736994
ketchup… with pasta?

>>13737997
i had a gf spit a loogie in my mouth. 0/10 would recommend.

>>13743818
>>13743924

>>13739943
>Its such a disgusting feeling to slowly pull a long greasy hair out of your food.
You think that is bad? Now imagine pulling it out of your THROAT or worst case scenario... Ass

>>13737094
Rat shit would integrate into a chowder.
You’d have no idea until you got the shits over the next week.

>>13749150
raw onions are fucking based and you're a dipshit if you disagree

>>13736819
my reflection

>>13736819
I have many examples but this is the less gross and easier to understand

>be me
>buy a bunch of home made cookies from the store
>give some to dad because he's going to work at night
>later start eating the cookies while watching a movie
>phone rings, it's dad
>"anon! these fucking cookies have worms!"
>look at the bag I was eating from, there's still some larvas crawling around
>I ate like 10

>>13736819
me

>>13736819
I once thought I saw a black bean, but when I took a closer look there were tiny black legs underneath

>>13737030
*Autocorrect produced nigger speak.

Half of an earwig in an omelette when I was a kid. No idea how it got there, also only the back end half. My parents didn't finish thier food, refused to pay and we never went there again

Are you guys still eating out with the Corona shit going on? I want to pick up some 'za really bad but I don't know if I should.

>>13749150
>implying all onions taste the same

>>13736819
Some soy.

>>13770566
How much of a shrimplet are you to be afraid of soy?

>>13742047
>>13759902
for me it was also parasites and fish
>parents went away for a few days
>hey we bought some fresh fish
>that evening decide to cook it
>cut the fish open
>giant parasitic worms are moving inside
>nearly puke on the spot
ate some frozen pizza instead

>>13770590
Triggered much?

>>13737030
>autocorrect allows "nigga"
>doesnt allow "pubic"
anon, know how i know you don't belong here?

>>13736819
That one fucking soapy cashew that ruins everything

>>13770636
Pretty much all fish has worms, aside from maybe farmed fish.
Not much you can do about it but most fish worms are harmless to people and any fish you buy at the store will have been frozen to a temperature sufficient to kill most parasites anyways.

>>13739205
>Flyovers make trash, if they made good stuff they wouldn’t be poor flyovers suckling at the teats of coastal America to keep them from becoming more 3rd world
t. Liberal elite sheltered from growing homelessness, drugs, miscellaneous crime, and minorities eroding away at the city's culture due to policies enacted by liberal elites sheltered from the same
Enjoy your resurgence of dark age diseases.

>>13743143
BASED CALIBRO

I live near this building, it used to be like a hotel or something but it got turned into this business where you could rent a room and run your own store there, the rooms were decently large.

There was a Thai restaurant in one of the rooms, the floors were carpeted, they soaked up grease and there were cockroaches everywhere, and they'd get into the other stores and ruin business. These guys were fucking assholes.

Brother in law ate there and found TWO roaches in his green curry, brought it up to the shop owner and the owner was like "I don't see roaches" over and over every time he was pressed about it, and when he threatened the owner with contacting the local health inspector the owner did a 180 and asked for brother in law's address and phone number to contact him about compensation

The next day his house got broken into when he and my sister were away at work but the guy that did it, the owner's brother, got caught doing it because the neighbor was a cop.

The Thai restaurant got shut down and I don't know if the owner ever got arrested, I like to think he did because I can only imagine that wasn't the only time that ever happened

>>13772873
I wasn't ready for that story while taking a drunk shit at 1:30 in the morning. Thanks for sharing though

>>13737030
Fuck off nigger

>>13736819
Frozen cod i found an earwig inside one of the pieces

>>13774283
Also mom use to shed hair like a dog so there was always hair in my food as a kid

>>13736819
one time i opened a carton of orange juice and poured it into a glass, and a fucking baby bird carcass fell out, it legit looked like tweety pie

>>13774502
I don't fucking believe you... Pretty sure you can get money for that? Birds and oranges likely are not in the same facility

>>13774623
i was pretty young, showed my mum, she took it away and i forgot about it, if it happened to me now i probably would be trying to sue or something, im just happy i didnt drink any of the juice
fuck i actually think we probably missed out on some money lol

>>13736819
Once there was half a grasshopper in a can of green beans that my mother made but they didn't notice until after it was already cooked, and for some reason didn't bother to tell me. I hate a bunch of them and they tasted fine. But they stopped me in the kitchen when they saw me go for seconds. They called the company to let them know because there was only half of the grasshopper in our can and they asked for the serial # to do a recall on the batch.