/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13630757

This in my opinion is the quintessential American cuisine right here.

Oh boy, another shitty /int/ thread!

>>13630757
This webm is quite the contemplating window to me, normies seem to have a different relationship to food from mine, watching this makes me feel like a nerd.

>>13630757
I really dislike this kind of american female. Cringey ass shit. Shes also eating fake meat so that doesnt help her case.

>>13630880

lol

>>13630762
way too much cheese and nothing else

>>13630757
disgusting. inb4 amerishart accusations, I'm a vegetarian myself. I'm referring to the roastie.

>>13630762
What. The. Fuck.

>>13630918

horrible right

RENT FREE
E
N
T

F
R
E
E

>>13630759
Hello, based departement?

>>13630762
just imagine that some poor potatoes died to make that vodka. what a waste

>>13630880
No it's what the the marketing people at beyond consider modern advertising. Just pay someone with followers in the 14-24 female age bracket to Schill their product with a shitty cellphone video. They probably had 40 of these made for the price of a traditional ad campaign.

>>13630757
>cooking and eating with jewelry on
ground zero coronavirus patient

>>13630762
not one bit of this is even remotely desirable

How does he drink it all?

>>13630757
>Be vegan a few years ago
>Wanna make xmas dinner
>Look up good fake meats
>Americans rave about tofurky and how it tastes so real
>>Even meat eaters say this
>Try it
>Tastes like nothing
Is american meat really that bland and liquid-injected?

>>13631793
The problem is that most people cannot cook for shit, so they're used to over seasoned food. Pizza is a perfect example of this. The dough and sauce is shit, so the pizza places just throw more and more toppings on to "satify" their customers tastebuds.

>>13630757
cringe

>>13630757
>dodgers fan
DROPPED. The only good team in Southern California is the Padres: they're literally God's team.

>>13630757
i hate women

>>13631504
gooks are fucking disgusting insect people

>>13630757
Who is this whore and why the FUCK is she pressing the burger down in the pan

>>13632073
She's from Los Angeles. All the women there are retarded like that.

>>13630757
This is actually pretty repulsive.

>>13631337

It’s just wrong

>>13630762
it's a very nice webm in that it keeps exceeding my expectations for how tasteless it will be

it would be a nice comedy piece if you had introduced a brief preamble that introduces the guy making this and gives us a reason why he wants to be fired from his job making tacky facebook cooking videos

>>13630757
EAT HOT CHIP

>>13630757

Manly bitch looks like she needs the extra estrogen.

>>13633708
>implying you wouldnt

>>13631504
Based soup pirate

>>13630757

I read the 20G on the bottom left of the label as ZOG the first time I watched this.

damn insect meat will be the standard before im dead

Do Americans?

>>13631027
>smirnoff vodka
>potatoes
Bruh. There's only a handful of potato vodkas you can get on the market. You could probably go to your local liquor store and count them on one hand (two if you're on the other side of the vodka belt).

>>13631504
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

>>13634339

REALLY

>Oh boy, another shitty /int/ thread!

>>13631914

Amen brother. Though I'll admit the Angels have a sick stadium.

>>13630757
I want to punch this stupid whore in the face hard enough to dislocate her jaw, then ram my dick in and out of her throat until she vomits up that fucking pathetic "burger."

>>13630757
Loving these webms, guys.

>>13630757
der urbanite

Americans?

>>13631504

Welp, I guess I'll never get grocery store soup for lunch again...

>>13630757
God I fucking hate women.

>>13630759
Based

>>13634345
Vodka is Always Made of potatoes or it isnt called vodka

>>13635176
Basedman

>>13636533
Not even the Russians hold that standard. You go ahead and name me 10 brands of vodka that are made with potatoes and not wheat.

>>13631337
It was pretty good until the vodka.

>>13630757
she cute

>>13630757
Oven dodger

>>13636598

lmao

If you're vegan why would you want to eat burgers you fucking hipposhits

>>13631027
look at the pigs who died so parts of their belly could rim that glass

>>13630762
I hate americans so much.

>>13631793
No, people looking for meat free alternatives have historically deluded themselves.

>>13630759
Soiye

>>13630911
Kys
>>13631793

>>13637825
Meat has no taste, it's a dead body akin to any species. Why do we put cheese and lettuce on it?

>>13630757
>tomato
>pickles
>siracha
why

>>13631504
peraps the corona virus was a divine intervention from god because even he got pissed at them

>>13637615
Their sacrifice for the betterment of mankind will be noted.

just say when anon. ready?

>>13638409
fuck that looks good

>>13634346
found the person that just came from reddit

>>13636551
smirnoff, titos, bellevedere, taaka and crystal head all use potatoes

>>13638464
>kenya
>food

>>13630757
Kinda disappointed she didnt get fucked by a big black cock in the end

>>13638376
How are you supposed to eat this shit?

>>13638572
the same way you eat corn

>>13638183
>Meat has no taste
You clearly have no taste.

>>13638585
that burger needs more cheese

>>13638576
looked good until halfway through :(

>>13638593
Oww, my pancreas.

>>13638602
I'm not sure any of those are American, or even from the USA.

>>13630757
>This cost 10 usd in my country

>>13630762
>frying prosciutto

>>13636533
Vodka is any neutral tasting alcohol, it can be made out of anything so long it lacks any significant flavor.

>>13638481
Is this the girl with a digestive disorder?

>>13638595
This is strangely cathartic...

>>13638537
Smirnoff is made from corn dipshit. I am not sure about the others, but I am willing to bet they are made from corn or grains.

>>13630757
I'd bond her burger

>>13639280
I still don't get it, and no amount of explanation will help.

>>13630757
>5 seconds in
>There Is Only One God And His Name Is Allah

What did she mean by this?

>>13638464
God I miss "pindasaus" when I emigrated from the Netherlands!

Top tier thread

>>13640478
Not awful

>>13638447
>open container

>>13638576
me at a buffet

>>13640478
>>13640504
potato, olives, sausage, mayo, corn and ketchup all mixed together is pretty bad man

>>13640536
Tomato in a bowl of soup. Who does that?

>>13640543
Nah, veg and cheese is yummy

>>13638567
had a boss that served on a boomer during the gulf war and he told me that submarines have the best food in all the service. they would get steak and lobster on the regular.

>>13638576
STOP! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH!!!!

>>13630757
>no cheese on the burger

I know they are vegan and all that bullshit but i dont know why it makes me get platinum mad when i see it happening.

>>13640688
>no cheese
>that's impossible

Classic american post

>>13640189
But is that actually good on fries with mayo and onions? Seems kind of fucked up to me...

>>13640504
if he let it sit after cheese and add some greens it would be great, but nooooooo, you gotta add some "flair" to it or some shit like that

>>13639262
Titos is corn. We've got a local in NC, Covington, that makes one with sweet potatoes but it's fucking nasty.

>>13640677
Mac and cheese on a burger pisses me off every time. They are better separate and who ever started it deserves to die a horrible death.

>>13640773
Better?

>>13640782
Fucking hell.

>>13638376
It would be better to just deep fry the corn

>>13638433
I didn't say WHEN!

>>13639657
Didnt Taco Bell have this one their menu for a while, did anyone try it?

>>13630757

>this entire thread

>>13640909
literally no one in america looks like the right part

>>13630757
>no american cheese
>raw onion
INTO THE FUCKING TRASH IT GOES

>>13640948

>>13640782
I am getting heartburn just from watching

>>13640665
i have several friends that have been on subs within the last 10 years and the consensus is the food is good for the first 2 weeks then you're stuck eating frozen or canned food.

>>13640930
>literally no one in the world's third most populous country and fourth largest country looks like this particularly caricature
Imagine being this presumptuous.

>>13638559
actually doesn't look that bad but that's ptobabky just because this is one of the few Tasty videos where they don't murder the food with cheese at the end. I was shocked to see a piece of lettuce on that sandwich. Still way too much effort to make a glorified bacon cheeseburger.

>>13630757
You can just tell she fucks dogs.

>>13640536
What kind of weird beer is that? If I were to pour any beer I can buy around here like that I'd get maybe an inch of beer in the glass before the foam filled up the rest of it.

>>13640899
Yamete kudastop!

>>13640523
That's what your mom got busted for the night you were concieved.

>>13639303
Last night I pierced your sister's buns.

>>13639328
She'd be kind of cute if it weren't that tooth gap.

>>13638464
the poutine and chili both look revolting, did they just drop some food colouring in water or something?

>>13638447
>no seasoning
>overcooked

>>13639303
Last night I silently pounded your sister.

>>13640884
I'll kill you.

>>13639328

Why is this allowed

>>13640884

Oh this is just fucking repugnant

>>13638538
kenyan food is amazing. best steak i ever had and it cost less than a buck.

here's your american cuisine

>>13638409
I wonder what all the Nutella was for

>>13638490
It's hard telling between queso fresco and sour cream

>>13631793
Depends. Some stores stock mass produced meat from farms that don't give 2 shits about taste. The animals must be obese or something because the muscle is weak and lacking blood flavor and fat overpowers the rest of the flavor. Good tasting meat definitely exists in America but it can be hit or miss since most packaging tells you nothing of where it's from.

>>13638534
found the person that's been here less than 7 years

people said 'this is why we cant have nice things' on 4chan loooooong ago, like 2008-2011 era, when it was okay to be a little dorky/corny to be funny, but now things are sad and different and only racism/rekt threads get humour (granted, which were here since the beginning too but not like they are today)

It was during like, rage comic era. Along with "that's enough internet for me today" and "i noped out of there"

funny enough though, as you mention, now redditors have appropriated those jokes and they're mostly the same people that would deride 4chan as a 'racist shithole'

>>13638534
Found the zoomer that has no knowledge of this imageboard's culture pre-2015

>>13643273
>>13643276
>>>/his/

>>13643276
beat you to it >>13643273

remember when it was okay to be a little corny and dorky because it was just a fun, quiet back alley site for nerds with the occasional extremely sketchy and ultraviolent shit?

4chan used to feel like going to your older brothers room to play M-rated games past bedtime, now it feels like going to a sports bar.

>>13643289
>I'm not sure if it will be a carbo-load
>fuck loads of bread and pasta

>>13638534
This is literally why we can't have nice things.

>>13643283
That's wrong. I never came to 4chan back in the day because there was so much truly despicable content. I'm only here now because it has been toned down.

>>13640722
Its good

>>13640899
*taps knife*

>>13642360
Customers either realize they are morbidly obese and start to lose weight, die from being ridiculously obese or against all odds keep going to Heart Attack Grill, giving the owner more money.
It's a win-win-win in the owner's eyes.

>>13637603
They don't like what the burger is made out of, so if they change what the burger is made out of, then it's fine.

>>13638447
The whole point of tamagoyaki is to have the eggs inside the spiral to be somewhat juicy. The whole point of tortillas and omelettes around the world is to have juicy, tasteful, portable egg dishes.

That dry roll is a disgrace to their culture.

>>13639328
This is Weimar Republic tier, but somewhat also My name is Earl tier.

>>13630757
she cute but those plant patties are dog shit

>>13643368
how does he break all the eggs without getting out

>>13632073
It's not really a burger so it won't lose juices it never had to begin with

>>13633695
based

>>13643330
Why does that piss people off so much?

>>13643368
Is that dude in the front just slamming back boiled eggs?

>>13630757

>>13630986
>hurr durr I'm so retarded
>>fuck off retard
>RENT FREE

>>13643889

What does rent free refer to?

>>13643909
It implies that the person is so obsessed with the group or thing that they hate, that the thing lives in their head 'rent free' because they spend all their time thinking about it, despite having no desire to engage with the group or thing. In this case, vegans.

>>13633695
LIE

>>13638183
Tastelet. Meat has distinct taste, and you can tell the difference between poultry, pork, and beef easily. Meat also has different taste based on the diet and age of the animal

>>13638342
Sriracha is the only weird one, but the rest are pretty standard.

>>13638567
>submarine mess
>everything is actually very clean and tidy

>>13638593
My teeth hurt

>>13640950
buy a tripod asshole

>>13638464
>peanut sauce
>proceeds to dump spoonfuls of peanut butter on fries
They're not even trying.

>>13638537
>titos
>crystal head
not potatoes

>>13640536
most shit blossom posts is horseshit clickbait

>>13633857
kek

>>13630757
have fun with all that estrogen basedboi

>>13643962
probably filled with poo. Go shit on a street pajeet.

>>13643289
wtf is this abomination

>>13638559
Looks fucking awful.

>>13641337
He's yuropiss. They transcend all notions of pomposity and presumptuousness.

>>13643914
Americans live rent free in the brains of all /int/ posters. Hence why so much time is spent complaining about Americans instead of posting on-topic content on /ck/.

Question for Burgers:
How does it feel not to be poor?

>>13643259
i came

>>13644310
Depends on your definition of poor. I grew up with very little and now I feel like a king living on $19-20,000/year with my boyfriend. It's all about how you look at it.

>>13644364
Post tits or GTFO

>>13643275
Doesn't get more American than that.

>>13643289
All they did was roll up a pizza like a burrito and they get interviewed like it's a revolutionary invention.

>>13632040

That guy didn't remotely look Asian.

>>13638183

Kys

>>13644429
That's a man boyo

And if it's not, trust me you don't want to see it's tits.

>>13644452
Hot Shots did it decades ago anyway.

>>13641789
prob american beer, they ruin everything.

>>13644485
ayup

>>13639328
That's Vegas for you

>>13635176
basedddd

>>13638464
This is the second video I've seen like this where they just blatantly give bad or wrong examples. Who's making these?

>>13638464
Whoever encoded this webm made the food look a lot more unappetizing than it is.

>>13638585
Do Japanese really...?

>>13639328
I would that midge

>>13644680

>>13644680
what a terrible ripoff of what was a good snl sketch

I feel like I could make a modern meme restaurant by just serving the shit I made during my drunken mania episodes.

A really good Do Americans really thread

>>13630757
I have a strong suspicion this bitch doesn't even watch baseball, even ignoring the soy patties.

>>13630757
Is it true that Beyond Meat is made from dog food?

>>13630760
Let them have their obsessive seethe pow wow if it will help keep them contained.

>>13632073
I almost always press pan fried burgers. They end up leaking more grease onto buns than your mother's gaping anus if you don't.

>>13630757
I wouldn't even let her suck my dick right after eating that.

>>13640545
Advertising gimmick.

>>13630762
Do alchies really?

>>13638534
Imagine being too young to remember pre-Reddit forum culture. Smh.

>>13638595
Sir, this is a blue board

>>13643289
This is literally just a shitty calzone.

>>13638550

>>13638481
Imagine her nuking the toilet after finishing these videos.

>>13638481
Why don't they ever show their bellies!? REEEEE

>>13638593
>ALL HAIL THE DIABEETUS GOD!

>>13646442
kek

>>13646441
EVERY SINGLE TIME

>>13643962
>Pajeet makes your food with his BARE FUCKING HANDS
I never, never, NEVER want to go to India

>>13646369
Well... You're not wrong

>>13646855
If you'd have to choose, would you rather go to India or Pakistan? Death is not an option.

>>13646869
Easily Pakistan, I'd rather risk death instead of spending a second smelling Indian slums

>>13643273
But the point is that no one on 4chan says this anymore. Keep in mind that the other internet sites are years behind 4chan on internet slang and meme culture. So by saying that phrase, it means that a person would come from a site whose culture is years behind 4chan like reddit or 9gag. So technically he is not wrong.

>>13646889
Yeah, I would also choose Pakistan. I would rather get beheaded than walk on shit-filled streets.

>>13643206
WTF did I just watch? Is that the Mexican food all those boomers are always yapping about?

>>13643368
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

>>13646936

>>13642360
This was made by a doctor who got fed up with trying to save over weight people so he went out of his way to make the most unhealthy restaurant imaginable as a joke

>>13644310
Feels free

>>13638593
This kinda shit should be illegal.

>>13642360
>>13647103
Not a doctor.
> Basso goes by "Doctor Jon," but he is not a real doctor. Waitresses are "nurses" and orders are called "prescriptions." Customers, who have to don a hospital gown when they walk in the door, are called "patients." Those who weigh more than 350 pounds eat for free but only after they get up on a scale in front of the whole restaurant for a pre-meal weigh-in.
>"If I set the mark at 300, I would go broke. Everyone in the room is 300," Basso said. "They need to know right now if they are eating this way they are going to end up in the hospital."
>Despite its medical theme and jovial ambience, Basso, who used to own a Jenny Craig franchise and fitness center, said he understands that his calorie-packed menu is "very dangerous," but that the Heart Attack Grill serves as his "soap box."
>"I absolutely think the food I'm serving is unsafe," Basso said. "The only way what I'm doing would be immoral would be if I were to market it as healthy by throwing a cute little side salad on the menu. ... The Heart Attack Grill is the most moral restaurant on the planet Earth because we are absolutely here to make a statement about obesity, about coronary issues, about death and dying and all those things that are prevalent in the society."

Literally a fitness instructor, but also a very good marketer.

>>13646936
But how does he egg out without getting break???

>>13638490
i don't like esquites but this looks great

>>13643962
the mess is all the gay sex they have

>>13647472
How new are you?

>>13647478
i never used spoiler before on /ck/

>>13647493
If there's no option to spoiler images on a board, that board probably also don't have spoiler text. Why the fuck would there be spoilers on a cooking board?

>>13647506
idk man i never spoil image so always ignored the checkbox

>>13647519
congrats on his newborn child, i always wondered how big is his restaurant to be cooking so much, is it really packing everyday?

>>13643962

>touched money with hand used to prepare
>touches said prepared food with same hand

Wtf

>>13644429

Can you read? Fucking retard

>>13644004
Is peanut sauce not just melted peanut butter?

>>13646891
tbqh I'd rather have people spout memes from ten years ago than keep spamming wojak edits for another ten years.

>>13638409
Oh shit is this the elusive eggy on a bready?

>>13647529
>cook until pork is browned
>pork is clearly not even slightly browned
I fucking hate these retarded webms what a waste of fucking bandwidth.

>>13640872
The chicken was dry as fuck ruining the experience

>>13638588
Oh no. :(

>>13638588
i never noticed the buns were glazed

>>13643962
wait wait wait wait wait. did he just take dirty cash bare handed, and went right back to serving food bare handed? and the guy paying saw it, and still took the food? holy shit, india really is another world.

>>13647584
Honestly, yeah I did enjoy the rage comics from 10 years ago compared to what we have right now. But then again I might be biased due to nostalgia though.

>>13630757
That used to be a man. Beyond meat not even once.

>>13647694
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Based post. Thanks, anon, you made my day.

>>13630757
>literal retard food
>plant-based
soy
>burger
why do fucking vegetarians always try to imitate meat
>beyond meat
no meat, 20 million% estrogen and chemicals for taste

>>13647741
10 years from now girls that are 10 will look like they are 18 and boys will look like they have Klinefelter syndrome

>>13630762
Someday we're going to look back on these facebook cooking videos the same way we look at 50s jello mold monstrosities

>>13640665
well yeah they are underwater it's way easier to get lobsters fresh

>>13647544
>>13647657
the guy's probably going to eat it with the same hand
i imagine if you've managed to survive to that age in india you're probably fine
everyone else would have died already

>>13640665
that's because you're stuck in a metal tube underwater with a bunch of sweaty guys
you gotta have some perks or they'd all an hero

>>13647868
>that's because you're stuck in a metal tube underwater with a bunch of sweaty guys
h-how's that a bad thing? haha

>>13647787

You're such a fucking retard. I am vegan and I have a body fat of 14%. I'm athletic and can bench about 300lbs. My girlfriend is an insta thot female (not a tranny) who is also vegan and sucks a mean dick. You're just buttblasted because we date hotter females and look better. Enjoy you hormone pumped, gynomastia causing shit.

>>13647607

what the fuck why, why is this allowed? What is the point? you won't even be able to eat the whole thing in one bite to experience all the flavours. It's just a gigantic hunk of shit

>>13647879
>cheap
>lots of shit
buy one and you have something for the entire day

>>13647859
literally thought those were bat wings

>>13630762
die

>>13647958

>>13646441

>>13648267
cope

>>13630757
I didn't think it was possible, but I guess chicks can be stupid faggots too

The holding up one finger for no reason, the side to side dance shit, the estrogen burger (ok I guess she gets a pass here), the dodgers shirt but obviously couldn't tell you how many innings are in a game, need I go on? Everything about her screams fake, and it disgusts me. I wouldn't even have sex with her

>>13648286
Dilate

>>13638593
>how to get diabetes in a single meal

>>13643280
why are there like 5 different shots of the carrot sliding into the chicken?

>>13647463
That seems like something that would be overpriced, although foodstands usually have decent prices. I wouldn’t pay more than $1.50 for it.

>>13647874
I’m not that guy but holy shit what a fucking larp.

>>13631504
just ladling up some comfort

>>13647519
Why is Ben Shapiro so happy?

>>13643678
What is it with pol turds and the weimar republic? You know that literally every western civilization and first and foremost the US is way way way worse(if you want to rank it) than the Weimar Republic in a moral sense right?

>>13648307
Go back to pol faggot, or even better straigh to reddit

>>13631793
Did you make the basting sauce?

>>13630762
This has made me want to commit a hate crime thank you anon

>>13643259
hot
>>13643275
revolting

>>13643962
>puts the food he prepared with his unwashed hands in the newspaper he read this morning while shitting in the street
You can't even make this stuff up

>>13649205
It's India. WTF are you expecting?

>>13647657
Come on, man. The money is probably the cleanest thing in that video.

>>13638481
Eating that much isn't hard, I don't feel hunger more than once a day and just shove food down my throat, managed to eat two family sized pizzas as a challenge.
And no I'm not obese or fat I'm a 1.66m 52kg guy

>>13648873
Your first, faggot

>>13647865
Those aren't boneless chicken why do they put them on bread

>>13648867

This is true. Also the Weimar era produced some of the greatest film's and literature in history.

>>13646889
Pakistanis don't even behead that much. They do wash pretty obsessively though (because Islam mandates washing before each of the 5 daily prayers. Pakistan even means "clean country".)

>>13649452
His shirt matches the building.

>>13643275
>sweats in Wisconsin
butterburgers are so good bros

>>13631504
Is that Jeffrey Epstein?

>>13648421
I wouldn't be surprised if it costs $5. This type of novelty food is always a ripoff.

>>13638183
Anons post was proven right in the first reply, pretty based.

>>13638550
t. Coastie

>>13647463
yo, what is in the middle of that

>>13638595
Fuck I love making breads

>>13638342
>burger completely saturated with cheese
>still dips it in the pool of cheese

although i usually don't mind the excess of american food culture, they're disgusting as fuck when it comes to the cheese obsession

>>13640884
Ok this is just crossing the line.

>>13647874
Keep eating estrogen from the impossible burger mantranny.

And post tits a month from now, please.

>>13651635

Hahaha fatty detected

>>13640782
they make this in a steakhouse i go time to time and people actually like it a lot for some reason. as an added bonus in the steakhouse, they also pour melted cheese on it after they serve it.